Am I dead?

Zandra looked around at her surroundings. Lili was nowhere in sight and somehow she wasn't in the chrome prison Chrissilande had locked her inside.

Her new setting was both familiar and foreign at the same time. She found herself in a warped version of Inferno, the Guardian capital. The stone castles, cobblestone paths, and border of flames were intact, but she didn't recognize the people or any of the lesser buildings. It had been years since she had visited, but she knew the land like the back of her hand. Inferno was unforgettable. It was the homeland, the only place on Earth where she felt completely safe.

The sky was gray, in fact, everything appeared to be wrapped in a black and white filter. The air burned her throat and the smell  likely singed some nose hair. It felt off, sort of like Inferno, but mostly of a place filled with unrest.

She was dead, there was simply no other viable alternative. The poisoned water had killed her. Zandra underestimated Chrissilande, she genuinely believed Chrissilande wouldn't outright kill her and Lili. Zandra only hoped Lili was smart enough to dump the water and start playing Chrissilinde's game until their team came to the rescue. She hoped Lili wouldn't try to play hero, her life wasn't worth it.

Hell was not what she expected it to be, however. She envisioned more of an oversized cave with rivers of fire and the screams of the damned echoing from the walls. Maybe some daemons strolling around. This place felt too mild to be Hell. It felt unnatural. The grass withered to dust when she bent down to touch it. This was Inferno cloaked in a veil of uncertainty and death.

Wandering around, no one seemed to notice her existence, even after yelling out. They floated around aimlessly; they acted if they were in a daze.

Zandra tried to reach out and tap someone passing by, but her hand went right through them. They were mindless, seemingly harmless, ghosts.

"Zandra?"

Zandra turned quickly towards the sound of her name in alarm. A ghost who knew her name could be a problem, for her hands were not exactly clean of blood and war.

All the sudden, she made eye contact with the speaker and ran. Tears were streaming down her face but she didn't care. She ran through the crowd of ghosts, too consumed to care that she was running through bodies.

A familiar woman with a warm expression stood a few yards away in a large mass of ghosts.

Zandra buried herself in her mother's awaiting embrace and took a deep breath of familiarity, relieved that she didn't pass through her mother's body as she did with the other residents of this Hell.

Gwynn smiled brightly. Her hair was pulled into the same old ponytail and her eyes were welled up with tears.

"Z, I missed you too and I love you so much, but we don't have much time. Just listen, okay?" Gwynn said, her words coming out scrambled, presumably from the conundrum of a time limit. It seemed like there would always be something keeping them apart.

Zandra simply nodded, so awestruck she was also rendered dumbstruck.

"You are not dead, simply unconscious. You were drugged in a horrific way by your blood mother, Chrissilande. Liliana needs you, you have to keep her safe."

Zandra sat down stubbornly on a bench they had approached,"I can't leave. I can't lose you again."

Zandra's nose burned and she could feel the onset of tears that she didn't bother to conceal. It was her mother, she didn't have to hide.

Gwynn sat down slowly,"Sweetie, you have to. Too many people are counting on you, including your very vulnerable cousin. This place isn't meant for the living."

"Then I don't want to be living," Zandra whispered back, meaning each word.

A tear fell from Gwynn's eye as she spoke, her voice slightly uneven,"Z, you have to live. I need you to live. I died and there is no going back, you have to move on. I wanted you to have a chance to do the things I never could. You can't stay here."

Zandra let out a strangled cry she didn't realize she was even capable of, which was a true testament to her pain,"You are my mom, my best friend, my greatest protector. I can't do this without you."

Zandra's voice broke and her body rattled violently with sobs and panic. She couldn't go through this again, she had to stay, even if it meant that she had to die.

It was true. Zandra couldn't live without Gwynn. She died the same day as her mom. All Zandra did was train and she didn't have friends. Hamilton wouldn't like her when he woke from the dead. Vampirism is a curse that she inflicted on him. He should have died and received a warrior's buried but she deprived him of that right. Zandra only ever had Gwynn.

"You have to, Z, you are so strong. I know you can. All you have to do is give it time. One day it will hurt less, so you have to hold out until it does," Gwynn said, tears falling from her eyes. Her words were uncertain, like she didn't quite believe them herself.

"Remember when Grandmother died?" Zandra whisperered,"I asked you if you would be okay eventually and you said—"

Gwynn sighed, unsurprisingly regretting the words she spoke that day,"I said time doesn't heal. It just keeps moving forward and takes us right along with it. The Earth will keeping spinning, ignorant to the lights that have been dimmed. I told you time was cruel and the wounds would never go away."

Zandra could feel that her face was warm with passion and she knew by her reflection in her mother's eyes that she looked fierce and broken all at the same time, with tears staining her face but her eyes focused and lips drawn tight,"I won't move on. It won't get better with time. You lost your mother, you know how it feels. So, you have to understand that I can't leave you. Not again."

Gwynn pushed a lock of hair of Zandra's hair that somehow made it's way loose from the elastic behind her ear,"Do you remember your eighth birthday? Guardians don't really celebrate birthdays like Tellurians, but we had visited their realm enough to learn the ropes. We baked a cake, sang a song, you even invited a few friends over. You wanted Audric to come over, so badly. He was like a best friend to you. But he was in a lot of trouble as a twelve year old."

Zandra smiled,"He started dating one of the exchange students. I remember that."

Gwynn grimaced,"Ricky was terrible to that little boy. I'm not sure you remember but the kid was assigned female at birth. I liked him but him and Audric ended up breaking up because of Ricky's prejudice."

"So, what happened?" Zandra prompted, unsure what the turn of conversation meant.

"At the end of the day, you asked me if we could freeze time and relive that day over and over again. We then joked about everything you miss if everything just froze."

"None of that means anything anymore, Mom. I just want you."

"How would Laurel feel? And Audric? Audric has always been your closest family. Even when you were eight. Your biggest reason for not wanting to relive the day forever anymore was because Audric wouldn't be there. You looked up to him then. You cannot stay with me, Zandra. One day, your time will come, but not now, too many people rely on you."

Zandra knew her mother was right, she was just to afraid to let go. It felt like she ripped open a half healed wound and doused it in hand sanitizer. It hurt the first time, but the second time hurt.

She tried to tell herself it was just a dream, this whole conversation wasn't real, and it was the truth, but the way it felt was different than a dream. She could feel her fragile heart crumble to dust.

"How do I go back, Mom?" Zandra whispered, unable to meet her eyes.

Gwynn reached over and lifted Zandra's chin slightly,"All you have to do is tell yourself to wake up."

Zandra met her eyes and wanted to break. She couldn't believe she was betraying her mother for a cousin she barely knew. She hated herself more than words could express.

"It's not your fault, Z. I'm dead and the last thing I want for is to choose death over living the life you dreamed about," Mischief twinkled in Gwynn's eyes."Avenge me, daughter, because no one else can."

Zandra straightened up at once and wiped the weakness from her face. She had purpose and by the heavens above, she swore that she would fulfill her mother's wishes. She was a soldier and killing Chrissilande became her duty. She didn't care about the risk. If she couldn't be with her mother, she would at least avenge her death.

Gwynn died for the peace that would come from a ceasefire. There was no peace between the realms. There was no peace between the kingdoms. Zandra couldn't stand to let her mother's sacrifice be in vain.

Zandra commanded herself to wake up, her mother's request ringing in her ears and making her blood boil with rage.

Avenge me.

Zandra grinned, her chrome prison back in view.

Chrissilinde was as good as dead.