*~Jon and Julie~*

I'm taking Ethan to school this morning. Don't be there. Take Ari to school and go home. I don't want to pretend in front of everyone.

Julie hit the send button and pushed herself up from the fold-out couch in Leesha's hotel room. She and her babies were in the bedroom together after Julie managed to get the distraught Leesha to bed. They were both going to have the hangover from hell after talking most of the night and drinking enough to drown.

She wobbled into the bathroom and stripped from the only clothes she had with her. At least a hot shower should revive her enough to be able to get Ethan to school.

Leesha had come from the bedroom late in the night after her phone call from Lexi to get a glass of water. Julie hadn't been sleeping so they snuggled together as Leesha cried and told her of the conversation.

"Go. Go meet with Lexi and hear what she has to say," Julie urged, "I'll take Ethan to school. I'm...I'm going to go home and sort this shit out with Jon, so it's no bother. I'll even pick him up if you need me to."

"You're right," Leesha conceded. "I'm scared that I'm going to lose him...to drink, to drugs...to another woman. It would all be the same. I can't lose him, Jules...it'll kill me."

"I know," she said, hugging her friend, "So then you need to be prepared to fight the dirtiest of fights for him. Not with him. Fight to get him into rehab. Fight to get to a counselor. Fight for your love and your family."

Julie tossed and turned for the rest of the morning hours, thinking about the words she was so wise enough to give to Leesha but not wise enough to heed them herself. She was going to go home and fight for her husband.

The hot shower had given her some semblance of life, so dressing back into her clothes, sans dirty underwear, she went and put a pot of strong coffee on. She ordered up breakfast for everyone, asking it to be put on her credit card instead of the room tab.

Leesha got Ethan ready for school and gave him a long hug. "Mommy, I miss Daddy. Can we go home?" She glanced over at Julie who was dressing Ellie then back to her son.

"Mommy needs to talk to Daddy first. But yeah we'll go home. Auntie J is gonna take you to school and pick you up and bring you home," she reassured him and kissed his cheek. "Be good at school, yeah?" Ethan nodded with a big smile.

*~*

Julie pulled her car into the garage and killed the engine. She had a throbbing headache not only from the booze from last night but also from the conversations she had to have with both Ethan during their ride together then Ari when she walked into the classroom.

Jon wasn't to be seen and Ari said that he was going home to wait for her. Reassuring Ari that she'd be there to pick her up that afternoon, Julie kissed her daughter and left.

She made her way into the silent house, grateful for the fact that Jon wasn't waiting for her. Searching for painkillers in the kitchen, she turned around only to find Jon standing in the doorway.

"You came home," he said. He looked as forlorn and as weary as she felt.

"Thank you for not being at school," Julie said.

Jon shrugged, "Least I could do." He took a step forward, "Baby--"

"Don't! Just don't...not yet, Jon." Julie pushed past him and headed up to their bedroom to change her clothes. She stripped out of her dirty clothes and pulled on some clean yoga pants and a t-shirt before climbing into bed.

She just wanted to sleep, to wake up and find that this had all been a bad dream. Closing her eyes, she tried to shut her brain off and had almost succeeded when she felt the bed dip beside her.

"I know you're not sleeping yet, baby," Jon whispered. Julie felt him tuck some hair behind her ear. All she wanted to do was melt into his touch but instead schooled herself into laying still with her eyes closed.

"I just want to tell you that I know I've been a stupid fuck," he said, hoarsely, "I don't know why I did it but I did and I am truly, truly sorry."

Julie couldn't help the tears that gathered in the corner of her eye, spilling down her nose. She felt Jon capture it, swiping it away.

"I know I hurt you, sweetheart," he whispered, "Julie, baby, please talk to me?"

Julie opened her eyes. Her Rockstar was lying beside her. All she wanted to do was be held by him and be told that it was all a bad dream.

"Why?" Julie murmured sadly.

"I've been asking myself that same question all night while I watched Ari sleep," Jon admitted, "I don't know what to tell you to make you feel any better. I fucked up. I fucked up big time...and now I'm paying for it. I'll do anything to make it up to you, Jules. I love you, baby. I lost Richie. I'm not going to lose you too."

"Tell me. All of it. I want to know it all, Jon," she said, gripping the pillow beneath her head to stop herself from reaching out to him.

Jon sighed heavily before starting, "The t-twins were after a gig one night, a few weeks after Richie didn't show. David had spied them in the meet and greet and...well, you know about the wristbands. He was in good spirits, flying high. I swear I didn't know he was using again till that night."

"It was like old, early times...when Rich was still there. David was trying to fill the hole that he'd left behind," Jon said. He was brushing his finger over the edge of her hand, desperate to have some kind of contact. "I let him. I let him take control of the entertainment that night. Drink, some kind of pill. Just one, I swear. It made me forget that he wasn't there anymore." A tear escaped matching his wife's.

"Dave brought these chicks back to his room and hauled me in too. Once we were finished with them, we went for each other. I woke the next day with the biggest hangover in my life and a gut full of regret. It never happened again."

"Until the next time," Julie said. She watched the pain pass through his beautiful eyes before they fell closed. He sniffled and buried his head in his pillow for a minute to stifle his tears. He looked back at her with red eyes.

"I walked in on Dave and the preschool teacher. I remember making my way in for that parent-teacher conference while you girls were working. I should have turned back when I heard her moaning. But...I didn't. He had her bent over the arts and crafts table. I locked the door when he nodded me over. We..." Jon sighed heavily. "We tag teamed her. He fucked her and she sucked me off."

Julie closed her eyes against the image of the pretty teacher between the two men. She often wondered why she was always extra nice to Ari and Ethan.

"Oh Jon," she breathed, "Was there any more?"

"No and I swear that on my life, on our marriage...on my children," he promised with a note of pleading in his voice. "You and the kids are too damn important to me. I fucked up and I'll admit to it. All I want is to be happy with you and only you."

"I thought we were happy? Or I was at least," she replied, "The happiest moments of my life were in your arms. I don't know what I'd do if I lost that."

"It's not lost, baby," Jon said, daring to move closer, "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

"How do I know, Rockstar?" she cried, "How do I know? Show me. Show me that you'll never break my heart."

"Oh baby..," he said, drawing her hand away from where it gripped the pillow and kissed the palm.

He hovered over Julie a moment, searching her face before he dipped down to kiss her cheek softly. Julie reached up to brush her fingers through his hair before she pulled him down, eager for his lips against hers, ready to lose herself in his arms again.

She let his tongue slide between her lips, whimpering at his familiar taste; cigarettes and coffee with a slight undertone of last night's wine. At her wordless surrender, Jon deepened their kiss, only breaking away when the need for air overruled all else.

Jon sat back on his haunches to pull his shirt over his head before drawing back the covers that Julie had been taking shelter under. He gently rolled her to her back and moved between her thighs, raking his eyes over her until she turned her head away.

"Don't do that, baby," he said, leaning over her to turn her face back to his again.

"I can never compete with girls like that teacher," she said sadly.

"Nah-ah...you got that all wrong, Jules. She can't compare to you, baby. No one can," he pleaded. He traced his fingers across the strip of flesh between her pants and shirt, tentatively pushing it higher over ribs.

Julie was helpless to stop him as he bent to kiss her stomach with feather-light baby kisses until she was begging and writhing for more.

"I love you so much, baby," he murmured against her belly, "I love how your belly grew as our child grew."

He pushed the shirt up over Julie's breasts, slipping it over her head. "Your breasts gave our daughter the nourishment she needed to grow into the most precious little girl. They're beautiful and ripe," he said, pulling a nipple between his lips, teasing it into a hard little nub as his fingers rolled its mate, pinching it until Julie was gasping for relief.

Julie felt herself flood with moisture between her legs as she tried to bring them closed, chasing the rising desire deep within her. She felt it pulse through her, vortexing in her clit.

"I love the way you pronounce your words, did you know that? Your accent still shines, though," he said as he laved his tongue around her nipples before sucking them in between his lips, "I adore hearing you scream my name as you cum, calling me your Rockstar. I can never get enough of that."

He skimmed his hand down her side, sliding effortlessly beneath the fabric of her pants as his fingers gently brushed over her mound.

Julie could hear his labored breathing; he was holding himself in check for her. She shuddered as his middle finger slid over her slit, seeking the moisture that was seeping from between her lips. She clamped her legs closed around his hand, bucking up slightly against it. The fire in his eyes flared, as did his nostrils before a brief smile flashed over his mouth. There was no way of hiding her response from him.

He dipped the tip of his middle finger between her folds, an angel's kiss of a touch over Julie's clit. It was like a jolt of electricity coursing through her as he claimed her lips. She raked her nails over his back, her legs releasing their grip as the pressure built within her.

"Please, baby," he murmured against her mouth, "let me in. Let me show you how much I love you."

"I'm scared, Rockstar," she cried, "I'm scared of getting my heart broken again. I'm scared of losing you."

"Fuck, baby, I'm scared of losing you!" Jon came back at her, "I'm scared that you're gonna see beneath my facade and find out that I'm just some punk from Jersey just tryin' to hang on to the best thing that's ever happened to me. You!"

Julie looked at her husband, really looked at him, finally seeing the scared New Jersey punk he had spoken about. His blue eyes were cloudy, rimmed with building tears and uncertainty. He rolled off beside her and threw his arm across his eyes as the tears fell. His chest heaved with the effort of holding them back for so long.

"I thought I lost you," he mumbled from beneath his arm, "Last night when you left and wouldn't return my calls...I thought I'd lost you."

Julie realized they were both hurting and both to blame for the pain they were going through. She shifted to face him and pulled his arm from his face. Jon turned his head, the tears spilling from his eyes.

"I never want to go through this again, Jon," Julie said, laying her hand over his heart, "You're my Rockstar, my Jon...my heart. Mine, do you hear me? And I will fight tooth and nail to keep you."

They looked at each other for a long moment before they fell together in a deep, ravishing kiss. The remainder of their clothes were shed with urgency as they sought the visceral connection that they needed.

Julie cried out as Jon slipped into her waiting heat. She met every roll of his hips with her own, as mouths, fingers and hands bit and clawed at each other, fighting to regain the broken pieces of their hearts.

Later, as they lay curled together, drifting in and out of consciousness after their third or fourth climax, Julie gasped and sat up in bed.

"Oh no! Oh...fuck!"

"What's wrong, babe?" he groused after being not only woken but being tumbled violently from his living, breathing pillow.

Julie slid from the bed and grabbed for her handbag, looking for her birth control pills. Emptying her whole purse on the bed to find them. She opened the container and checked the bright little pills off.

Jon lay there, arms crossed behind his head, as he watched his wife in full panic mode.

"I-I've missed almost a week," Julie breathed, sitting heavily back on the bed, "How did I do that?"

"Well...with your early morning meetings, the kids going to school and," Jon sat up behind her, laying butterfly kisses over her bare shoulders, "you didn't take your handbag yesterday. So I'm not surprised. Also...I'm certainly not upset and neither should you be, baby."

"But...I- I could be pregnant, Jon," she stuttered.

Jon took the container from her hand and pitched them toward the door, before sweeping the rest of her belongings from her bag to the floor with his leg.

"Jon! What the-?"

"If you're not pregnant now," he said, pulling her back down onto the bed again, "then let's make sure you are."

"You mean-?"

"Let's make a baby," he sang softly before taking her mouth again with vigor.

"Wait!" Julie pulled from his embrace, "Ari! School will be out soon. And...and I have to collect Ethan too."

Jon growled but reached for his phone. He swiped through his contacts until he found his brother's number and hit the green button.

"Matty! You free, brother?" he said and waited for the reply, "Hey Laurin, honey! Yeah, I'll tell her. Hey, bro! Can you two swing past Ari's school and collect her and Ethan? Bring them both back here. Thanks, man, I owe you one...oh, and take your time. Take them out for an ice cream or something. I got a baby to make." He disconnected the call quickly and tossed his phone on the nightstand.

"Jon!" she squealed in embarrassment, "You just told your brother and Laurin that we're about to fuck!"

"I know," he said, dipping his head to her breast with a grin.

"Wait! Wait," she said, pushing at his head and climbing over him to grab his phone again. Straddling his stomach she pulled up the text message app and shot off a quick text to Leesha as Jon's magic fingers started to move over her body again.

Leesh, it's Jules. Matt's picking up Ari and Ethan. He can stay here tonight. I'll get him to school tomorrow. I hope you're fighting a good fight, honey. I love you and wish you well. Call me tomorrow! Xxx

She shut down Jon's phone and said, "Now...where were we?"