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TWENTY-FOUR SWEET LIKE CINNAMON

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       HOLLY ENSURES THAT SHE'S far away from Grimmauld Place on the day of Harry's hearing, leaving the house early in the morning to go and spend the day with Draco, who, like her, wanted to practice Quidditch before they got back to school. And, by the time she returned to Grimmauld Place, a little sweaty and grass stains on her knees and elbows, the twins and Ginny were being told off 'for the hundredth time' about chanting, 'He got off!" So, by the sounds of things, the hearing went smoothly.

       It's the last day of August now. Holly's birthday passes on the twenty-ninth, the day being spent at Pansy's house, and her dad reappearing at Grimmauld Place at dinnertime, where Mrs Weasley made a birthday cake for Holly. Now, there's one day left of the summer holidays, and Holly's trying her best to have everything packed up before she returns to school. The stuff she took from her bedroom at home's been brought back there already, and now, the bedroom in the attic looks a little empty, like half of its soul's been scooped out.

       Holly's packing's interrupted by her owl, Owl, tapping on the window with a letter for her. It was from Pansy, a short but sweet letter saying, I'M THE SLYTHERIN PREFECT!! And, of course, upon reading the news, Holly couldn't help but celebrate for her best friend, gleefully writing a letter back, promising she'll have a homemade card saying congratulations! by the end of the day.

       "I don't believe it! I don't believe it!" says Mrs Weasley. Holly jumps down from the last step onto the landing's carpet, and she frowns. Mrs Weasley looks like she's about to cry with joy. "Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That's everyone in the family!"

       Oh, Holly gets it now.

       "What are Fred and I, next-door neighbours?" says George.

       Holly holds back laughter. She stands next to Harry, as Mrs Weasley pulls Ron into a hug, almost squeezing the life out of him.

       "Wait until your father hears! Ron, I'm so proud of you, what wonderful news, you could end up Head Boy just like Bill and Percy, it's the first step!" says Mrs Weasley. Holly almost frowns, because it's not the only way to become Head Boy or Head Girl — believe her, Holly's checked. This year's getting on the Quidditch team. Next year's Quidditch captain. Year after's Head Girl. "Oh, what a thing to happen in the middle of all this worry, I'm just thrilled, oh Ronnie—"

       The twins make retching sounds behind Mrs Weasley. Holly smiles.

       "Mum... don't... Mum, get a grip..."

       And this continues, for a couple minutes, in which Mrs Weasley keeps on kissing Ron's face, whilst the twins pretend to vomit because of it. Holly leans against the wall, still standing next to Harry and Hermione, who look like they're not too sure what to do. Holly isn't, if she's being honest. She's used to her dad picking her up and hugging her, but not sloppy kisses. 

       "Harry?" says Hermione.

       "Well done," says Harry, and Holly frowns. He does not sound like he means well done. He sounds weird. "Brilliant. Prefect. Great."

       "Thanks," says Hermione. She moves to the side, and Holly smiles at her, trying to silently say well done. Because Holly means it, truly. She thinks it's cool. "Erm — Harry — could I borrow Hedwig so I can tell Mum and Dad? They'll be really pleased — I mean, prefect is something they can understand—"

       "Yeah, no problem," says Harry, still acting off. Holly went to Durmstrang for long enough to notice when someone's faking it. Come on. He's barely trying. "Take her!"

       Hermione smiles at him, noticeably excited by this. Which makes complete sense. Holly knows that Pansy's going to be jumping around her house all day today, and tomorrow she's going to be over the moon with her new position, just like Hermione's going to be.

       She sees Hermione call down Hedwig from the top of the wardrobe in Harry and Ron's room, and Holly frowns at Harry, who still looks off. She thinks of pulling him to the side to ask what's wrong with him, but she can't think of an excuse. No one else seems to be listening, and she sees Hermione leave Harry and Ron's room to write the letter to her parents, so Holly waits for Hermione to be out of sight, before she turns to Harry.

       "You don't look very happy," she says. Harry opens his mouth to protest otherwise, and she rolls her eyes, taking his hand and pulling him into his room, closing the door behind them. She frowns at him. "Are you—Are you jealous, or something?"

       "I don't know," says Harry.

       "OK," says Holly.

       "I forgot prefects were chosen in fifth year," says Harry. "Were you—?" Holly shakes her head, and Harry frowns at her for a minute, as if he's trying to think who else would get it. He looks horrified, as he says, "Parkinson got it?"

       Holly nods. "I'm going to make her a card saying well done."

       "You're not annoyed?" says Harry.

       Holly shrugs. "We're not the same person," she says, her brows furrowing. "We're not going to react the same — and it's fine if you're a little annoyed. I'm just not."

       "But then — isn't it bad of me? Maybe I thought I would've gotten the prefect badge," says Harry. Holly nods, not quite sure what to say, but she figures it's good for him to just say it aloud. "I sound like Malfoy."

       "You're not that bad," says Holly.

       "I don't think I'm better than Ron," says Harry, reassuring himself. He looks over at her, and she nods, because she supposes he wants her to be aware of this. She doesn't know why. It's cute, though. "But then — I'm better at Quidditch than him... Not anything else, though. Not in lessons..."

       Holly frowns, and she's about to mention the graveyard, and the tournament, but he continues talking before she can. "But what about outside lessons? What about those adventures I've had with Ron and Hermione since we started at Hogwarts — we weren't just risking expulsion those times, why would Dumbledore take the hearing into account?" says Harry. Holly takes this moment to shrug, to show she is listening, she just isn't sure what to say. "Ron and Hermione were with me most of the time...

       "Not all the time, though. They didn't fight Quirrell with me. They didn't take on Riddle and the basilisk. They didn't get rid of all those dementors the night Sirius escaped. They weren't in the graveyard with us, the night Voldemort returned," says Harry. Holly nods, and she isn't sure why he has to specify that one night. She hasn't been to any other graveyards with him. "I've definitely done more — I've done more than either of them!

       "But maybe, maybe Dumbledore doesn't choose prefects because they've got themselves into a load of dangerous situations... Maybe he chooses them for other reasons... Ron must have something I don't..."

       Holly's heart sinks. She steps forwards and hugs him, figuring this is probably better than her just looking at him like she's watching a puppy drown. Pulling away, she keeps her arms resting on his shoulder. "Neither of you are better than each other — you can't compare yourself to others, anyway, it's pointless and it just makes you feel worse," says Holly. "And who cares if you're not a prefect? You got onto the Quidditch team in your first year, how many people can say that? And even all of this with You-Know-Who — take some credit! You not only duelled someone way older than you, but you were so brave doing it — you were able to stand up after having Cruciatus put on you, not many people can say that!"

       Their faces are a couple inches apart. Holly can feel her heart beating faster. If she were to move closer, ever so slightly... But then, she doesn't want that. She doesn't think.

       "Holly?"

      "Yes?"

       "I—"

       The door opens. Holly spins around, and she sees Ron walk, a massive grin across his face. By this point she's already moved far away from Harry, her arms falling to her side the second she heard the door handle turn.

       She's in shock. She feels strange. Truthfully, she wasn't expecting him to say that. She doesn't think she wanted him to move any closer...

       "Just caught her!" he says. "She says she'll get the Cleansweep if she can." 

       "Well done, Ron," says Holly

       Ron smiles at her. "Thanks, Holly!"

       For a second she's phased. She didn't really know if they were that good friends, but by the grin on his face, she supposes she's been doubting that for the past couple weeks. (Which is fine. She's made another friend!) "I've got some packing to finish off," says Holly. "I'll see you later on."

       She leaves the room. As she closes the door behind her, she hears Ron say, "Did you tell her?" Holly frowns. Tell her what? "Oh... Well, that's fine!"

       "Listen — Ron — well done, mate."

       Holly smiles softly, before she walks back up the stairs. Everything feels strange. Her heart's still beating quickly, and she can't get the memory out of her mind. They were so close to each other. Any closer and they would be kissing — but she doesn't want that. She doesn't think so, at least. Why would she want to kiss him, anyway? She doesn't think she wants to, anyway. Because if she wanted that, then she'd fancy him, and she does not. She doesn't think so, at least...

       She sits down on the floor, and frowns at her reflection.

—✧—✧—✧—✧—

       "WELL, I SUPPOSE I'M back to hating you lot," says Holly, as they get onto the train the next morning. She holds onto her trunk, trying her best to keep that and her owl upright as the train begins to move, slowly pulling out of Kings' Cross and towards Hogwarts.

       Harry, Ron, and Hermione are still standing in the corridor, when Holly spots Pansy, and she takes off in the direction of her best friend, pulling her into a massive hug. Holly tries her best to keep her trunk and Owl upright, as she grins at Pansy and says, "There's my favourite prefect! I haven't seen you in — well, two days, but Pansy!"

       "I've missed you!" says Pansy, still hugging Holly. "We haven't been able to properly catch up, not with all of the others there—"

       "Let's find an empty compartment now, and—"

       "Oh, Hol," says Pansy, frowning at her. Holly stops hugging Pansy, trying to pretend that it's because she wants to keep her trunk and Owl upright and safe, but it's not. "I've got to go to the prefect carriage."

       "Oh," says Holly. "That's fine — did my card get to you on time? I spent a whole afternoon on it, it took so long with the glitter and—" She stops talking. "Do you have to go right now?"

       Pansy frowns. "Yeah... I'm sorry, Hol, I wish I could stay with you," she says. Holly tries to hide her disappointment. "I don't think I'll be there the whole journey. The letter said we just get instructions from the Head Boy and Girl and then patrol the corridors from time to time... I'll find you straight afterwards, I promise. I'm sorry, Hol, I don't want to—"

       "No, no, it's fine," says Holly. "I'll see you later."

       Pansy smiles weakly at Holly, and Holly tries her best to smile back. She's happy for Pansy, she knows that she isn't jealous or anything, she just misses her. Is that terrible of her? She just wishes she could sit with her best friend on the train and catch her up with everything, now that they're speaking a little safer than the house Death Eaters inhabit. She especially wants to tell Pansy what almost happened with Harry, because she knows that Pansy hates him, but she knows they're friends, she's desperate.

       Holly watches Pansy walk away. The floor in the corridor continues to shake, and Holly begins to walk up the corridor, trying to find the rest of her friends in a compartment.

       A few minutes pass and she still hasn't found them. Holly figures, fuck it, she'll find her friends when she gets to school, she'll just try and find an empty compartment now. It's better than almost falling over and being crushed to death by her trunk and her owl, so.

       She walks back down the corridors, trying her best to find either her friends — maybe she didn't look properly — or an empty compartment. Holly thinks she's back where she started, and she's starting to give up hope. Maybe she can just intrude on a group of friends and their compartment — maybe, if they're younger, they'll be intimidated by her cousin, and maybe, they'll clear off. Hm.

       "Oh... hi," she hears Harry say.

       Holly spins back around, her gaze falling on the compartment she just passed, with the Ravenclaw girl stand next to the open door.

       "Um... Well... just thought I'd say hello..."

       Holly frowns, and she walks back in that direction.

       "Hey, Harry, do you mind if I sit with you?" she says.

       "Oh, no, that's fine!" says Harry. "Um—"

       Holly stands next to the girl for a minute.

       "I'm Cho," says the girl. Holly has a weird feeling. She recognises Cho, now that she thinks about it, as the girl Cedric went to the Yule Ball with... She's a couple years older, surely, why's she talking to Harry — oh. Holly remembers what Pansy and Draco said at the start of last year, how Harry fancied (fancies?) Cho. "You're Holly? You were really good in the tournament—"

       "I know," says Holly. "I won."

       "Yeah..." says Cho. "Well, I best be off..."

       "Bye," says Holly, and she smiles at her again. Cho begins to walk away, and Holly steps into the compartment, just as Ginny waves her wand to clean up whatever green slime was covering the place. Holly takes a seat, the door sliding shut behind her. "She seems nice."

       Harry gives her an odd look.

       Holly glances around at the others in the compartment; a boy called Longbottom (she thinks that's what Draco called him?) and a girl with long blonde hair, and a pleasant smile on her face. The girl's sitting next to Ginny.

       "You're Draco Malfoy's cousin," says the girl.

       Holly nods once. "I am."

       "You look like him," says the girl.

       Holly nods once, again. "It's the hair."

       The compartment falls back into silence. Holly exchanges a look with Ginny, who looks just as uncomfortable, and for a split second she catches the gaze of the boy called Longbottom, who makes this high-pitched squeak. Holly pauses for a second, and frowns at him.

       "Um, hi," she says to the boy. "I'm Holly."

       "I—I know," says the boy. "You're Malfoy's—"

       "I'm not him, though, am I?" says Holly. "What's your name?"

       "Neville," he says.

       "Cool," says Holly. He's still looking at her oddly, like he suspects she's about to turn into her cousin and laugh at him for being himself, or jinx him, or something that'll make his life a living hell. Holly smiles weakly at him. "I'm not going to kill you."

       "I—uh—"

       "Yeah, Holly's nice, Neville!" says Harry. Holly's touched. She's never been called nice before. Manipulative, yeah. Evil, that, too. But never nice. She smiles. "She's not like Malfoy — no, honestly! We were friends all of last year, she helped me out with the second task—"

       Holly raises an eyebrow. This is the point where Susannah would appear and scoff, saying something like, 'He sounds like he's about to write a sonnet about you.' He isn't, obviously, this is probably just Holly's brain overreacting. She can't get yesterday's event out of her head. They were so close.

       An hour passes, and after some time Neville starts to warm up to Holly, which she's a little happy about. Upon the arrival of Ron and Hermione, Holly takes her things and leaves in pursuit of Pansy, who she finds metres away from the rest of their friends, and they all sit together for the remainder of the journey.

       Quickly, her cousin mentions how he's a prefect and Harry isn't, and although Holly keeps quiet, knowing that if she says anything, she'll look a little too annoyed about it, for someone who's supposed to dislike Harry like they all do. It's not like she was there, literally yesterday, realising that something was wrong with him and was there to listen to him vent about the whole thing with prefects. It's not like she went against what Dumbledore said at the start of the summer, because she didn't care if she got told off, she wanted to see Harry. It's not like she was, yesterday, with his face inches from hers and she didn't know if it was disappointment, but she felt something when the moment left.

       The rest of the journey goes by quickly, now that she's back with her friends. When the train stops, she walks towards the carriages with Daphne, given Draco and Pansy had to leave early to patrol the corridors, and Crabbe and Goyle went along.

       Holly feels a little weird, walking to the Hall with her friends. Just this time last year, she was standing with the old first years, her stomach in knots and her brows furrowed at the weird hat singing. She remembers how, this time last year, she had only just met Pansy and the girls, and she was anticipating being put into Slytherin, so that she could be with her new friends. She remembers how, during the feast itself, she kept on looking up and 'a boy on the Gryffindor table' kept on looking at her oddly. Hm. Things have changed.

       The song's even stranger this year, ending with the lines 'Oh, know the perils, read the signs, the warning history shows, for our Hogwarts is in danger, from external deadly foes, and we must unite inside her, or we'll crumble from within.' It's cheery, to say the least. Holly sees her friends looking towards the old hat with puzzled looks.

       "What was that?" whispers Blaise, frowning.

       "To our newcomers," says Dumbledore. "Welcome! To our old hands — welcome back!" That's Holly! For the first time in five years she isn't terrified of being back at school. Though, last year's fear was not making friends, but still. She isn't scared! "There is a time for speech making, but this is not it. Tuck in!"

       Holly's already helping herself to the serving plate filled to the brim with an assortment of vegetables, as Daphne says, "The song was weird."

       "Has it done that before?" asks Holly.

      Pansy shakes her head. "Not like that."

      Draco scoffs, putting a chicken leg on his plate. "The houses all being friends. Fat chance when there's Potter around," he says. Holly looks down at her plate. "Speaking of Potter — Holly, I think I saw you with him earlier, when you go onto the train."

       "Oh, Merlin, don't remind me," says Holly, rolling her eyes in such an exaggerated fashion that she's surprised her eyes don't hurt afterwards. She gives Draco this awfully exasperated look, as she sighs. "He came up to me, when I was walking into Kings' Cross with my dad — and you know my dad, he thought we were actually friends so he said, 'oh, just go with them, then you'll be with your friends on the train.' I was not, let me tell you — Pansy left to go to the prefect carriage and I couldn't find you lot and because he still thinks we're actually friends he said I could sit with him and — get this, you're going to die of laughter — Neville Longbottom and Ginny Weasley and — oh, what's her name, something Lovegood?"

       "Looney Lovegood?" says Draco, bursting into laughter. Holly nods, like, that's the one! She knows she's called Luna, she just didn't want to say Luna, nor did she want to say Looney. "Oh, Merlin, Hol! You should've just gone to the prefects' carriage — you could've patrolled the corridors with me and Parkinson, couldn't she?"

       He looks at Pansy. "Of course!" she says, her cheeks going a little rosy. Holly looks at Pansy oddly, and Pansy gives her the same look back. "Potter's a real idiot, isn't he?"

       "Oh, yeah," says Holly, lying right through her teeth. Pansy gives her a mischievous look, knowing full well that Holly's winging this.

       "He almost got expelled," says Draco. "Dementors tried to attack him."

       Holly nods. "And his cousin."

      "How do you know that?" says Draco.

       Holly shrugs. "He brags." 

       He does not brag. Yesterday he felt terrible for thinking he should've become the Gryffindor prefect instead of Ron, and every time he mentioned things he had done that Ron hadn't, he didn't exactly look proud, like he was trying to boast for the things he had been forced to survive over the past few years.

       "So," says Holly, adamant to change the subject. "When do you think the Quidditch try-outs are going to be?"

       "Montague says Saturday morning," says Draco. Holly nods, the look on her face indicating she's already mapping out how to practice beforehand, get herself ready for try-outs. "They need two Chasers — I think he kicked the last two off. There's also Beaters, but he's already given that to Crabbe and Goyle... I told him you wanted to be on the team, and obviously he wants the Triwizard Champion—"

       "There were two others, mate," says Blaise.

       "No, there weren't," says Draco. Holly feels bad, but she smiles at that. "As I was saying, obviously he wants to have you on the team, and, his younger sister wants to be on the team, and apparently she's just as good as he is... He still wants tryouts, but you've pretty much got it already."

       Holly grins. "Sweet."

       "It's Montague's last year, isn't it?" says Blaise.

       Draco nods. "So there'll be a new captain next year."

       "You know I'm your favourite cousin?" says Holly immediately, trying her best to smile sweetly at him, like butter couldn't melt in her mouth.

       "I don't want it—" 

       "Oh, thank Merlin!"

       "I'll be busy being a prefect, anyway," says Draco. He exchanges a look with Pansy, and Holly watches the small smile last on Pansy's face. She frowns. She'll ask about this later. "Besides — you never know, in the upcoming years, what with—"

       Holly interrupts, "Shut the fuck up." Blaise looks up from his food at lightning speed, his eyes widening. Holly frowns at her cousin, who looks like he's a little kid being told off... He is a little kid being told off. "You can't say anything here. Idiot."

       "No one's listening," says Draco.

       "You don't know that," says Holly.

       They go back into talking about Quidditch, and things that aren't anything to do with Death Eaters, or Voldemort, or Harry Potter. At one point, Holly remembers, she nods along to whatever Draco's saying about Harry, and Holly begins to say this massive tangent, saying how his eyes are such an ugly green and how his hair is so awfully messy it's terrible. And although Draco and Blaise are nodding like they completely agree, Pansy looks at Holly oddly, as if to say, sure, Hol.

       "Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start-of-term notices," says Dumbledore. Pansy pulls a look of disgust, already dreading the speech. Holly suppresses laughter. "First years ought to know that the forest in the grounds is out of bounds to students — and a few of our older students ought to know by now too.

       "Mr Filch, the caretaker, has asked me, for what he tells me is the four hundred and sixty-second time, to remind you all that magic is not permitted in corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things, all of which can be checked on the extensive list now fastened to Mr Filch's office door."

       "A light summer read," says Blaise, under his breath. Holly smirks.

       "We have had two changes in staffing this year. We are very pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank, who will be taking Care of Magical Creatures lessons; we are also delighted to introduce Professor Umbridge, our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher," says Dumbledore. Holly claps, because she sort-of has to. "Tryouts for the House Quidditch teams will take place on the—"

       "Hem, hem."

       Dumbledore looks surprised. Holly and Draco exchange a look, both trying not to laugh at the look on their headmaster's face, or the little woman in the pink outfit standing up from the teacher's table.

       "Thank you, Headmaster, for those kind words of welcome," says Umbridge, as she looks around the hall. "Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say! And to see such happy little faces looking back at me! I am very much looking forward to getting to know you all, and I'm sure we'll be very good friends!"

       Holly covers her mouth, to make her muffled laughter less noticeable.

       Umbridge clears her throat again, which sends Pansy into giggles, which makes Holly struggle not to laugh, too. "The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance. The rare gifts with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and honed by careful instruction. The ancient skills unique to the wizarding community must be passed down through the generations lest we lose them forever. The treasure trove of magical knowledge amassed by our ancestors must be guarded, replenished, and polished by those who have been called to the noble profession of teaching."

       Holly stops laughing.

       "Every headmaster and headmistress of Hogwarts has brought something new to the weighty task of governing this historic school, and that is as it should be, for without progress there will be stagnation and decay. There again, progress for progress's sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering. A balance, then, between old and new, between permanence and change, between tradition and innovation . . ."

       Holly doesn't like this. She keeps on listening, her brows knitting together with worry. This doesn't sound good. Holly really doesn't like the sound of this.

       "...because some changes will be for the better, while others will come, in the fullness of time, to be recognised as errors of judgment. Meanwhile, some old habits will be retained, and rightly so, whereas others, outmoded and outworn, must be abandoned. Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness, and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited."

       Some changes will be for the better. 

       Progress for progress' sake must be discouraged.

       Perfecting what needs to be perfect.

       Pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited.

       Holly feels her blood turning into ice, shivers running down her spine. None of this sounds good. She feels like she's listening to the stories the older Durmstrang girls said, the way that Karkaroff spoke to them all when he first arrived. How he promised change for the better, how that ultimately ruined and corrupted the school.

       It won't be that bad. Nothing can be as bad as it was at Durmstrang. Here, there's Dumbledore, even if Umbridge's making Holly's blood run cold, Hogwarts still has Dumbledore. Nothing bad is going to happen at Hogwarts as long as he's there.

      "Thank you very much, Professor Umbridge, that was most illuminating," says Dumbledore. Holly sees some people clap, and she doesn't know why. "Now — as I was saying, Quidditch tryouts will be held..."

       Holly tries to shake herself out of it. She's being paranoid. This school surely won't turn into Durmstrang, no. Dumbledore's here and he won't allow it. Hogwarts is safe as long as he's here. Holly doesn't need to worry, she's just used to another school and all of it's nightmares. This school is nothing like Durmstrang. She doesn't need to worry.

—✧—✧—✧—✧—

       AS SOON AS PANSY RETURNS from helping the new first years to the dungeons, she appears in their dorm room, pulling Holly out of the room, and marching through the common room, through the corridors, and into the prefects' bathroom. Holly's feet hurt from walking through the castle in her slippers, as they stop walking, and Pansy turns to her.

       "Potter was staring at you so much, Hol," says Pansy. Holly nods, not quite sure what else to do. "I don't think he looked away. At all. I know that you're friends and although I hate him, I'm going to respect that and whatever, but, Holly. It was almost sad. I don't think he blinked. At all. I didn't realise someone could be so fascinated by the back of someone's head."

       "Well, I did wash my hair last night, so it looks shiny," says Holly, and Pansy gives her an odd look, which makes Holly smile. "He's quite good looking, though, isn't he?"

       Pansy looks at her incredulously. "What?"

       "He is," says Holly. "Have you seen his eyes?"

       Pansy repeats herself, "What?"

       "Do you think he's a good kisser—?" 

       "What the fuck, Holly?"

       "I was just wondering," says Holly.

       Pansy looks horrified. "I hate this entire conversation."

      "Oh, OK, Pansy," says Holly, and she gives Pansy the same mischievous look her best friend gave her earlier on, when she said how dreadful(ly wonderful) she thought Harry was. "How about we talk about a certain someone — namely, you — getting all giggly around — oh, I don't know — Draco? Hm? What's that about?"

       Pansy gives Holly a small smile, a cute little smile that makes Holly smile a little. "That's been there for years, but Hol, I think I might have a chance," she says. "With all of the prefect stuff — I don't know, maybe something can happen."

       "Um," says Holly. She doesn't know what else she can say. She knows from Pansy's point of view, Holly can't comment in the slightest. "That's — nice."

       "I don't know if anything will, but I think I've got a better chance this year," says Pansy, and she looks so smitten, Holly feels terrible. She knows for a fact Draco doesn't look at Pansy in the same way. But she can't say that, can she? It'll crush Pansy. "We went to the Yule Ball together, and now, we're going to spend more time together..." Pansy smiles, and then she looks at Holly. The smile morphs into a smirk. "But, um, Holly, what's this with Potter?"

       Holly frowns. "What is this with Potter?"

       "You can't just repeat what I said," says Pansy, giving Holly a strange look. She steps a little closer to Holly, frowning at her. "Holly, I won't tell anyone, but — do you fancy Potter?"

      "No," says Holly. And then she frowns to herself. Pansy looks the slightest bit concerned for Holly, and Holly looks at her, sighing. "I don't know. Because, the thing was, I saw him a lot over the summer—"

       "Because of the Order?"

       "How the fuck do you—?"

       "Oh, please, that's all my parents whine about," says Pansy. Holly remembers the couple of times she visited Pansy's house, and her strange father greeted them, and as he walked away, began to say to his wife, Pansy's mother, something about the Prophet. "Anyway. Continue."

       "I don't know, he's actually really really nice," says Holly. "And you should've seen him when I said what happened at Durmstrang — oh, yeah, he, Ron, and Hermione know about that."

       Pansy narrows her eyes, confused. "Did you want them to?"

       "I made a comment about Cruciatus, whatever," says Holly. Pansy keeps on looking at her oddly, moving a little closer, as if she's ready to go to Gryffindor Tower and remove the conversation from their memories. "And obviously he got a little concerned — Pansy, he was concerned, my God — and I mean, if I didn't want them to know, I wouldn't have mentioned it like that? If I wanted it to be a secret, I would've said it like I told you. And I mean, they'd find out eventually, and to be honest, I think I can trust them with that secret." They have worst ones. "But Pansy! When I was explaining everything about Durmstrang, he looked so concerned. Like, losing his shit. He was so worried about it, Pansy."

       Pansy frowns. "OK."

       "And then, I didn't tell you this, but after I left you lot, I sat with him and his friends — I didn't mean to stay that long, but that's besides the point — and when the train stopped and we got back to Kings' Cross, there was this really strange moment," says Holly. "Because both of us gave the Triwizard winnings to the Weasley twins — I don't want the money, blah blah blah, you know what I mean — and then we left before they could give it back and I was saying goodbye to him and I was going to hug him, but then I didn't. And I looked at him, and I thought, a hug isn't enough. So I kissed his cheek."

       "That makes sense," says Pansy.

       Holly frowns. "It does?"

       "Yeah!" she says. "I saw him when I was getting off the train. I thought someone had Stunned him..."

       Holly feels strange at that. "Is that a good thing?"

       "What, that he couldn't believe it?" says Pansy. "Depends."

       "That doesn't help me," says Holly.

       Pansy twists her lips as she thinks. Eventually she turns to Holly. "Well, I'm going to say that since he's been staring at you since you got here, it was a good thing," says Pansy. She looks to the side, and laughs. "I can't believe it. I won't tell anyone, don't worry, but shit, Holly... Is that all?"

       "Well." 

       "Oh, no."

       "Oh, yes," says Holly, pulling a face. "I can't tell you the reason why because he trusted me enough to tell me and like, I love you, Pansy, but I'm not breaking a promise... Right, so, yesterday, there was this whole thing and he was annoyed about something and I was listening and stuff and then it got to this point, where he said something and I hugged him and I was reassuring him about things and then — and then — our faces were like this—" She shows the gap with her fingers. "—apart and I don't know if I wanted to lean in but I think I sort of wanted to but also I don't know but also—"

       Pansy still looks like she's in shock.

       "Well," says Pansy, after a few minutes of her looking at Holly like she's wearing a Gryffindor tie. "I don't like him. I don't know if I like him being with you. But I love you and want you to be happy so I guess I'm going to be OK with this."

       Holly smiles softly.

       "And, anyway," says Pansy, giving Holly a smile as she puts an arm around her. "You're my best friend. If you're happy, I'm happy. And if you've got a secret, I'm taking it to the grave."

       "I love you so much," says Holly.

       Pansy smirks. "I know."

       Holly lets out a laugh, and she hugs Pansy. They move to sit down on the bathroom floor, and Holly looks at Pansy for a minute. She frowns. "On another note," says Holly. "What—What are your thoughts on You-Know-Who being back?"

       There's a brief pause. Pansy looks at Holly in a way that brings Holly back to Durmstrang; she sees her best friend's gaze move across her face, examining her, observing her, trying to figure out if she should say anything or not. Eventually, Pansy sighs.

       "I don't want him to be," says Pansy, so quiet it's almost a whisper. Holly nods, and she can see the worry and the fear on her face. She sits closer to Pansy, holding onto her hand. "I know we've got to pretend otherwise, but he's terrifying."

       Holly looks at Pansy, and she frowns.

       "Can I tell you a massive secret?" says Holly. "Like, so huge that you might hate me for not telling you until now, but once I explain it you'll get it — but you can't tell anyone, you can never tell anyone, it's the only reason I survived the graveyard and Cedric didn't."

       Pansy nods. "I won't tell anyone."

       Holly looks at Pansy. She keeps on holding onto her hand, for some sort of support, as she looks into the eyes of her best friend, her first real best friend, and she takes in a breath, before she says, "My dad — he's a muggle."

       "Oh," says Pansy.

       "But my mother knew we'd both get killed if anyone found out that she, a Death Eater, had gotten pregnant with a muggle so she made up this massive lie, one that I've just been going with. And I don't know why I was going along with it, but in the graveyard, during the final task — if my mother hadn't made it up, You-Know-Who would've killed me, he wouldn't have let me stand next to Atticus whilst he duelled Harry," says Holly. "I wanted to tell you, but I was scared. I'm still scared."

       Pansy leans forwards, and wraps Holly into a hug. "You're my best friend no matter what," she says. "I don't care about your dad. I don't care that you definitely fancy Potter, even if you're trying to deny it. I don't care, because we're best friends, through thick and thin."

       "I love you," says Holly.

      Pansy grins. "I know."

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