KABANATA 15

A ride through love. 

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❝A feeling of love makes you feel light and bubbly, like my heart is racing in sync with someone else's. The excitement I experience is completely new to me. All I can wish for is to be happier than I've ever been.❞ — from the hues of the sunshine

༄彡፨֍༄彡፨༄彡፨֍

ANG KANYANG mga salita'y iniwan akong nakatayo ro'n na parang isang estatwa, 'di makagalaw. Even though I really wanted to get away, I was unable to do so. I was stuck in one spot and unable to move an inch because my heart was beating so quickly that it nearly skipped a beat. His ferocious gaze resonated deeply with me, at alam kong 'di siya nagbibiro. He continued to stare at me as though he was observing every move I made, not even turning away.

Marami akong gustong itanong sa kanya. Matagal na ba niya akong kilala? Matagal na ba niya akong gusto? I couldn't help but show how flushed my cheeks are right now because, even when I think about it, I have too much on my mind.

His eyes are like a storm that I couldn't escape; they're inviting and seductive. Hinawakan ko lang ang pisngi niya, tinignan ko siya ng mabuti, at pumikit. Hinila lang ako ni Steele sa balakang ko hanggang sa mapasandal ako sa balikat niya and he swears, "After all this, don't even blame me what happens next."

"What—"

His warm body is now clinging to mine, and he kissed me after slowly placing his hands on my face. He was passionate, and I am, too.

He draws me in closer, slowly raises me up, then moves toward the bed, gently puts me down, looks at me for a few seconds, and breathes. I couldn't even follow Steele as he fixed his position towards me, the bed moved slightly, and then we began kissing. He's skilled. His mouth movement and exploration of every area of my mouth were too intense.

The room was somewhat dim, and the only thing I could ever see outside was a wind howling and a frenzied rainstorm bouncing back and forth. A white light streaking across the sky came next. He seemed to want me. He did, indeed. I was always his desire. His movements demonstrated that to me. He kept kissing me nonstop while his mouth was on mine. He trailed his hands, pulled my legs over his waist, breathed, and I held onto his hair while he kissed me intensely, hotly, and fiery.

I could sense his hands exploring through our shared kisses. Since our kisses are so intense, I'm not sure how much I tugged his hair. As I gave him kisses, I closed my eyes. Does this truly represent his first time? He's sufficiently skilled, and I was powerless to resist his allure. I jolted a little as Steele slipped his tongue onto mine, and I grabbed his shoulders and made a noise. I groaned.

"Steele!"

"Fuck it. Hold on!" His cheeks are already flushed after he turned away a little. Mabilis niya akong hinawakan sa bewang at binuhat.

Napahawak na lang ako sa bibig ko at namula na lang ang mukha ko. The only guy I kissed in that manner was Steele. And it's clear from my face that I genuinely like him.

"Are you okay?" He seemed concerned about me as he touched my cheeks. I just stared at him during the lengthy pause that occurred between us. Sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko at 'di ko mapigilan na mamula sa harapan niya.

I whispered to him, "Steele, I'll date you," and as of right now, I'm still feeling shy about it at natatakot pa rin ako kung tama nga ba ang desisyon ko o hindi but I'm determined to get us to work out.

"What? Really? " Itinaas niya ako at binuhat pa and he breathed while pressing his face against my chest. "I'm overjoyed, Ry. You're my girlfriend at last."

I kept thinking that I was always by myself. Since my vitiligo makes me feel insecure, the idea that no one could ever accept me keeps getting stronger. Siguro nasanay na lang ako na kahit kailan ay walang makakatanggap sa isang katulad ko. However, those have evolved. Now that Steele and I have met. He accepts me for who I am at hindi ko inakala na mamahalin niya ako ng buo.

"I love you." Hinawakan ko ulit ang pisngi niya at hinalikan siya. 

Steele gave me a smile at lumapit siya sa 'kin and he showered me with his kisses at tinignan niya ako ng seryoso, "I love you too." He said at lumapit ako sa kanya at niyakap ko na lang siyaand I laughed. Abruptly, footsteps are heard approaching, and the voices reverberate at alam ko kung kanino nanggaling ang mga boses na 'yon. They march wildly toward the hallways and stop occasionally, but they never stop as if there's no tomorrow. I should probably return.

"Tara," aya ko sa kanya. "Hinahanap na ako ng mga kaibigan ko."

"You should leave. It's past eleven already. I'll see you tomorrow. Matagal pa naman akong nandito sa Boracay." he smiled at tumalikod ako at nagsimula na akong maglakad hanggang sa hilahin ulit ako ni Steele and he kissed my forehead after I bumped his chest. "I love you, Ry, but if one mole is equal to \(6.022\times 10^{23}\) particles, then my love for you will never last," he said. 

Sige, sabihin niyo kung nag-gets niyo 'pag matalino 'yung nagbabanat sa 'yo? Ako. hindi eh! Hahahaha! 

"Sige na, I love you! Kita tayo bukas!"I gave him a hand wave at tumakbo ako palabas.

"Ah! Ayan, mga girls, oh!"

"Ayon, 'yong magaling na lumapas sa curfew ng sobra-sobra!"

"Oo nga!"

"Eteri, ano'ng oras na ha! Ang aga naman ng 11 pm sa harot mo!" 

'Di ko pa rin mawala sa 'kin ang saya at tuwa na nararamdaman ko dahil sa nangyari. My cheeks are hot right now at wala akong pakialam sa dami ng tanong ni Halley sa 'kin.

"Hoy Eteri! Ano ba 'yang kinatitili mo? Aba, nag-aalala kami para sa 'yo!" Napataas na lang ang kilay ni Halley sa 'kin at sinamaan pa ako ng tingin. Psh! Minsan na nga lang ako magkajowa, kontrabida na naman 'to!

"Guys," panimula ko, at 'di mawala 'yong ngiti ko simply recalling all of the earlier events, "May jowa na'ko. I'm dating someone!"

"Powta! Ano!? Sino!? Kilala ko ba—?"

Umirap si Lovely at inilagay niya ang daliri niya sa labi ni Halley at tinulak 'to, "Kontrabida ka e! Kontrabida! Ngayon lang nagkaroon ng jowa 'yan, hadlang ka pa talaga noh Maleficent?"

"Hahaha! Ang funny mo, loves." Irap ni Halley sa kanya.

"Kaya ka walang jowa, eh!" Bulyaw ni Lovelyn

Titingin sana sa 'kin si Halley and I coughed. "May jowa ako. Labas na ako d'yan!"

"Mag-break din—" 

Tinakpan ko naman ang bibig ni Halley at sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. Tamo toh! 'Di talaga magawang maging masaya sa kaibigan mo ngayon pang nagkaroon na'ko ng boyfriend. Gusto na agad kami mag-break.

It's really different. I could consider someone to be my boyfriend. Napahawak ako sa pisngi ko and feels as though it never happened. To be more specific, I am in a relationship.

"Bad words, Halley! Bad words 'yan! Hayaan mo naman ako na kiligin, 'no!"Bulyaw ko sa kanya.

In the end, I arrived late. Tita Maeve arrived a bit earlier with her family, so Hindi pa kami nagkikita. Mas mabuti na siguro 'yon kaysa muling magkaharap at magkasagutan ng walang dahilan. Pagdating ko, agad akong sinermunan ng nanay ko when we arrived. Napamewang pa siya sa inis niya and, as usual, her steps are even more menacing.

My mother's ferocious gaze is all over the place, as though she were planning every move I made. Napalunok na lang ako, at 'di makaiwas sa mga tingin niya. Sumunod ay mas nainis pa siya sa 'kin."Eteri! Where have you gone? You lad! Pinag-aalala mo'ko. You would like me to call—"

"Ma! Tulog na po si Doc, guguluhin niyo pa!" Sigaw ko na lang.

'Yung iba nakatingin lang sa 'kin at tumawa, pinandilatan ko sila ng mata dahil sa mga ginawa nila. Traydor! At napailing na lang ako. 'Di na bago sa 'kin na ganito si Mama, for a neurosurgeon like her who has been extremely busy hindi na yata bago 'to. She's our hospital's director in addition to that.

Madalas kasi siyang busy, mapa-umaga man o gabi, dahil sa dami ng pasyente na inaasikaso niya. She may be a little strict with me as a result, lalo na't kung tungkol sa kondisyon ko, kaya't 'di talaga maiiwasan.

"Eteri..."

"I'll be all right! I swear! " Hinila ko na lang ang kaibigan ko papasok sa kwarto. Ayoko nang magulo pa ang nanay ko, 'no! Since I knew her, she would ask me a lot of questions. Buti na lang kamo nag-stay rin ako kina Steele, kasi kung nalaman pa niya na nagpaulan ako I have no idea what she will say to me. Pag-upo ko sa kama, tinabihan ako ni Halley at binunggo pa.

"Alam ko, dapat magkakasama tayong...." Despite squinting her eyes, Halley was unable to avoid it na nauna pa akong magkajowa sa kanya, "Tapos ikaw pa 'tong nauna magkaroon ng jowa!? Not fair! Pa'no naman ako?!"

Napailing na lang ako. Para siyang nagrereklamong bata. Tinawanan ko lang siya at ngumuso naman siya kaya umiwas na lang ako ng tingin. Suddenly, my phone rang kaya naman inakyat ko na ang mga paa ko sa kama and I extended my hands to grab the bag, opened it gradually, and then reached for my phone, which was ringing loudly.

I received a text. From an unidentified number.

From: 0923******

Have you safely arrived home? Here's my number.

Huminga ako nang malalim para yugyugin pa si Halley sa tabi ko, at nagtitili na lang nang 'di oras, "Halley! Halley!"

"Grabe, ang brutal! 'Yung ulo ko! Ano ba 'yan?" Tinaasan niya ako ng kilayand she chose to check my phone at umirap siya sa 'kin at tinulak niya ang kamay ko, "Kinamusta ka lang, kilig na kilig ka na! Nangangamoy paasa."

"Judger ka! Mag-jowa ka kaya. 'Di ganyan si Steele, pwe!" Bineletan ko siya at ngiting-ngiti ako habang binabasa ko 'yung text niya sa 'kin.

"Sige na, sige na! Basta't masaya ka, wala na akong say pa! Siguraduhin mong 'di ka paiiyakin niyan. Nakita mo 'to!" Umakto pang parang manununtok si Halley, at inirapan ko siya. Grabe 'tong babaeng 'to minsan!

Halley could only shake her head at my foolish behavior, but I couldn't help it; my smile grew wider, my laughter rang out louder than ever, and I wrapped my arms around her. What else could I do? I've truly fallen in love!

"Thank you Halley!"

"Thank you kamo Maleficent! Hahahaha!" Sigaw ng iba sa kanya, at nagtawanan pa ng malakas.

Mga Siraulo!

Inirapan ko sila isa-isa, at nagsitawanan pa talaga ang mga gaga! Kinuha ko ang phone ko and I began tapping on it, and a smile spread across my face as my thumb gently pressed the keys. The light illuminated my face while I hid my face into the pillow. Ngayon lang ako nakaramdam ng kilig, ano ba!

Ganyan lang talaga kami sa isa't isa, at kapag kasama ko ang mga kaibigan ko, mas ramdam ko ang pagmamahal nila sa 'kin. Parang kapatid ko na sila e.

Me:

I-save mo nga number ko! Teka lang, sa'n mo nga pala nakuha ang number ko?

Nag-pop up na ang pangalan ni Steele sa message box ko dahil iniba ko na ang pangalan niya.

Steele: 

A friend. Apparently, one of your classmates. Matulog ka na. Masama ang mapuyat, take care. I'll see you tomorrow. Love you! I still notice the green dot on your Facebook—please get some rest. I'm really worried about you.

Itinukod pa ni Halley ang mukha niya at niyugyog bigla sina Lovelyn, sabay nagtitili nang makita 'yung text ni Steele, "Ngina mga teh! May pagbawal na nagaganap. Sa 'kin kaya may magbabawal—"

"Wala! Wala ka ring engineer madadampot, do'n ka sa likod!" Tapik tapik pa nila Cana sa kanya.

"Nurse! Gising na po siya!" sigaw ni Lirisha

Umirap-irap si Halley at nagpapadyak na lang sa kanila. Talaga namang trip na trip nila si Halley 'no? Napahawak ako sa bibig ko at tawang-tawa sa mga pinagagawa nila. Now that I think about it, my room has been filled with energy because of them. Ang laki ng parte na nagawa nila para sa 'kin.

I smiled at everyone while I straightened my bed sheets. "Alright, let's get some sleep," I said. They all nodded in agreement, and together, we smoothed out the sheets until they were perfectly adjusted. After that, we arranged the pillows nicely saka kami, isa-isa, nang humiga. 

Finally, we closed our eyes and drifted off to sleep. I had never experienced such serenity in a day before; it was the first time I truly felt it. It was as if my own inner waves were settling, much like a calm deep ocean. How tranquil it felt.