AN: requested. John is teaching French and Alex is on break, so he comes to the class to 'help' coz he's a lil bitch. WARNING coz it's smutty.

Laurens waited for the last of the class to filter in, then cleared his throat and began. "Good morning, class, today we-"

Hamilton threw open the door and raised his fist. "What up my homies?"

The students looked at Laurens for an indication of how to react. Laurens shook his head. "Mr Hamilton, what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to help," Hamilton blew a bubble in his gum and popped it loudly.

Laurens' first clenched as he imagined wringing Hamilton's neck. "You should go as far away as possible if you mean to aid the children's educations,"

Hamilton placed his hand over his chest in mock offense. "Well! I'll just have to make you appreciate my talents," he walked over to Laurens' desk and took his seat.

Laurens drew a deep breath and tried to smile again. "As I was saying, we'll be learning a few classic French phrases today,"

Hamilton rolled his eyes. "I'm fluent in French, did y'all know that?"

Laurens glared. "Did you just say you were fluent in French and follow it with 'y'all'?"

Hamilton nodded innocently.

Laurens sighed deeply. "Okay kids, well start with je t'aime."

They repeated it in a monotone and a few students raised their hands to give the meaning. They all looked bored.

Hamilton stood. "Aw, I love you too, kids!"

They stared blankly forward.

Hamilton laughed at his own joke like the dumbass he is.

John looked like he was going to cut his head off.

"Theodosia?"

"The phrase means 'I love you'. It's commonly used in marketing as a hipster trend," she turned sideways to glare at the bitch towards the back of the class with a fucking hipster t-shirt.

"Theodosia, pick up that shade you just threw across my classroom,"

Theodosia rolled her eyes and stood up, walking back to the girl and patting her shoulder gently. "Aw, that's a great shirt, sweetie,"

She glared but John was satisfied. Until Alexander came up behind him and started grinding deftly.

John turned and slapped him. "What the hell,"

Alex held his face, smiling like a dope. "You didn't even hit me very hard, you must really love me,"

"Son of a bitch," Laurens muttered. "Okay, kids, listen. Hamilton and I are not in an abusive relationship. I am allowed I defend myself appropriately from unwarranted sexual advances, such as the one that Hamilton is trying to make while I teach a gotdamn class. So it was not inappropriate for me to hit him this time. He knows what he's supposed to do,"

Samuel raised his hand and Laurens called on him. "But you do admit to being in a relationship with him?"

John face palmed but nodded.

Alexander laid across John's desk like a pin-up girl. "I forgive you baby, now come do me right,"

John bit his lip and screamed internally. "I will end you,"

"How? With your hand or your mouth or your-"

"OKAY, class dismissed!"

Theodosia cocked her head. "Mr. Laurens, we have 25 minutes left,"

"I don't care, this man is endangering your final shred of innocence. Get out,"

AN: honestly? no