Chapter One ▬▬▬ Mourning Warnings

˗ˏˋ ───── QUINN Selwyn can not handle the silence that comes from the shrouding loneliness that plagues her. It was maddening how it leeched itself into every inch of her life like a virus spreading through the body, seeping into her weak, brittle bones. It drives her insane with every second that passes like a bitter and angry child left unsatisfied. Every singular moment where the pain runs deep in the skin of her forearm is terrifying. She doesn't want this, not really, not at all, but it's much too late.

It's quickly becoming all too much in the small mind of the oldest Selwyn child. The words that only seemed to circle around her thoughts leave her numb. Perhaps she should feel terrible, ashamed even for what she's done, but she can't find it in herself to care anymore. There was no point in kicking nor screaming when there was no one to listen. There was no god to save her, as far as Quinn's concerned, her life ended the moment she took that stupid mark.

What would pride and honor accomplish for her in the end after all was said and done? A girl like Quinn never once did have such high potential for success. She existed in a purgatory of mediocrity, never exceptional in any aspect, but rather a coward who had believed herself a lion. It would be her downfall, she was sure of it. Soon enough, The Dark Lord would come to realize she served him no greater purpose, then he would see no further reason to keep her around.

For now, she had a part to play. If not for herself, for little Leo; the piece of Quinn's heart she vowed to keep alive. He was only just entering his fifth year, he didn't yet deserve to know how cruel the world could be to mere children. He would never have to known what lengths she would reach in order to protect her youngest brother. Maybe nine year old Quinn who lacked any real sense of self or of the world would've thought it a heroic thing, but to her seventeen year old self, she wasn't so sure about anything anymore.

Now that seventh year loomed over her like a threat, it seemed like a shadow that darkened her otherwise bleak existence. This year was different, that much was clear on the faces of her peers and their parents who held their children tighter and lasted longer in saying goodbye's before watching them off to the train. Everyone could feel it in the air; fear for what was to come. With the way the war was turning in and out,  the death toll rising rapidly, and death eater attacks in the streets at random. Yes, this year was different.

The countryside rushed past in a blur. If Quinn stared long enough in one particular spot it would quickly make her dizzy before refocusing her attention back to the scene. In the seat across, Nadine Aleksander sat silently toying with the pages of her book while Freya Yaxley busied herself with feeding treats to her cat. The only audible noise that could be heard was their breathing and the occasional purring of Freyas cat, Frodo.

There wasn't much to say about the girls, they were friendly and polite to each other, of course, but that's as far as any of their interactions went. They all unofficially, officially agreed on their friendship for the sake of maintaining pureblood relationships. Due to the Selwyns weak standing among the sacred twenty-eight, they needed the beneficial connections more than ever now. In turn, it left them all no more than friendly.

The sun was long gone the closer they reached the castle and in its place a cloudy blue sky reflected on the windows. A soft knock on the compartment window drew the attention of the three girls followed by the appearance of the youngest Selwyn. In one swift motion the had door slid open. A small click and in stepped leo, the epitome of cheerfulness.

"Quinn, my dearest and only sister, how are you on this fine evening?" He smiled warmly. His bright eyes scanned the compartment, but unlike usual, his posse of friends were nowhere in sight, surprisingly. It was rare for him to appear alone.

Quinn raised a brow. "What is it now that you want?" Her voice was laced with suspicion.

"Nothing, nothing, of course," Leo replied, the corners of his mouth lifting into a slight grin. "In fact, I brought you some food to eat." He held out a small collection of sweets, an offering that seemed almost absurd in the moment.

Quinn's frown deepened while she eyed the assortment, mixing them around in her palm. "I would hardly call 'sweets' food," she retorted, her tone dismissive. "Keep them. Besides, I'm not all that hungry." She went to hand the back, but with a dramatic sigh, Leo rolled his eyes and refused, even backing up against the wall to dodge her hand.

"Eat something. Please, Quinn." he insisted a bit more seriously. He picked up a sugar quill from her hand and held it out to her, practically pressing it into her face until she reluctantly took it back.

"Right then, I suppose I best be off now... goodbye!" Leo declared with a satisfied nod, clearing his throat and turning to leave. Reaching for the door, he hesitated, casting a quick glance back into the compartment.

"Freya, c-could I have a word with you outside?" his usual confidence momentarily faltering. The request was so unexpected that it took a moment for Quinn to register it. She looked between her brother and Freya, a flicker of confusion crossing her face.

Freya, who had been quietly petting Frodo, looked up, her expression a mixture of surprise and reluctance. She avoided meeting Quinn's eyes, instead focusing on the floor as she stood. She watched both with curiosity. As far as she knew, Leo and Freya had never exchanged more than a few polite words. So what could he possibly want to discuss with her?

"A word— A word about what?" Quinn's question hung in the air, unanswered just as the pair slipped out of the compartment. The door closed behind them with a soft thud, leaving Quinn and Nadine the lone persons. The silence that followed was thick, neither girl saying anything further.

Moments later, another knock came at the door. Quinn and Nadine turned, expecting Freya's return, but instead, Josie Kemper, the newly appointed Ravenclaw Head Girl appeared.

"We're due to arrive in less than half an hour. It's best if you two go change into your school robes now," Josie informed them with a polite smile. Without waiting for a response, she swiftly turned on her heel and left.

Nadine let out a soft sigh, the sound barely breaking the quietude that had settled in the air. She was the first to stand, smoothing her skirt as she rose, and with a polite nod to the Selwyn girl, she slipped out into the corridor. The stillness that followed felt almost suffocating, pressing in on Quinn as she sat. The murmur of voices and occasional laughter from other compartments seemed distant, muffled by the thick walls of her thoughts.

After a few moments of silence, Quinn reached for the neatly folded set of school robes beside her, the fabric soft under her fingertips. She stood up, her movements deliberate and controlled, as if any sudden motion might shatter the fragile calm she was clinging to.

Halfway down the corridor, a small figure stepped out from a compartment, blocking her path. Quinn's heart sank slightly as she recognized Remus Lupin. His presence was the last thing she wanted to deal with. She sighed inwardly, feeling a wave of irritation in her belly.

"Move," she said curtly, voice cold and clipped.

Remus looked up from the book he held, eyes narrowing slightly as he took in the sight of Quinn Selwyn standing before him. His jaw ticked ever so slightly, his face hardening from its usual worn out appearance. He had always tried to rise above the petty prejudices of people like Quinn, but there was something about her that grated on his nerves.

"Nice to see you too, Selwyn," he replied dryly, not making any move to step aside nor to hide his lack of manners.

Quinn's eyes narrowed as she looked at him, lips tightening into a thin line of disdain. She recognized that tone, the barely concealed spite that most people tried to hide when speaking to her. She was used to it, and on any other day, she might have let it slide. But today, the silence she had been trying to escape in her compartment, coupled with the nagging discomfort of her own thoughts, the itchy feeling of her wool sweater, had all left her on edge. The last thing she needed was a confrontation with Remus Lupin, of all people.

"Would it kill you to make way for a lady to get through?" she took a step forward, attempting to pass by but he didn't bother giving her an inch.

A mocking smile tugged at the corners of Remus's mouth. "Yes, I actually think it might. Your usual entourage not here to clear the path for you?"

"You're one to talk," she scoffed. "I certainly don't see Potter or Black coming to your defense. Let me guess, the two twats finally came to their senses and ditched you, now did they?" She raised a brow, making a show of standing on her tippy toes, head turning in search of them.

Remus's eyes flashed with irritation, the mocking smile fading. "I don't need anyone to fight my battles, least of all against someone like you," he retorted, almost laughing in her face. "But then again, you wouldn't understand that, would you? Always hiding behind your status, as if that makes you better than anyone else."

Quinn's lips twisted into a sneer, a familiar expression of superiority slipping into place. "Better? No. Just more important," she shot back, looking him up and down with a cruel smile. "At least I know where I stand. Unlike you, some poor excuse between a muggle and a wizard— trying so hard to fit in where you don't belong, never have and never will. It's almost pitiable, really." She shrugged, uncaringly.

Remus clenched his jaw, struggling to keep his temper in check. "Is that what you tell yourself at night, Selwyn?" he challenged, taking a step closer. "That your blood status makes up for being a hateful, empty person? It's pathetic, really." He mocked, "All that pureblood pride, and yet you still don't matter to anyone except yourself."

Quinn's eyes narrowed, her face hardening at his words. "It's a wonder why they even let your sort into this school in the first place." she hissed.

"Go ahead, Selwyn, insult me and anyone else as much as you'd like," he said, his voice deadly calm. "It won't change who you are—a scared little girl, desperate for approval from people who will never care about you."

Quinn's face hardened. "You think you know me? You haven't the faintest idea of me nor my life." Her words were laced with scorn. She glared at him and if eyes could kill, Remus Lupin would've been six feet under.

"I know enough," Remus replied, tilting his head down in her direction.

Quinn's jaw clenched, her teeth grinding together. Her eyes shot up to meet his, a mixture of disgust and anger pinned Remus to his spot.  "Alright then, so what is that you have? A ragtag group of friends who keep you around out of pity? You're a bloody charity case, Lupin. They tolerate you because they're too stupid to do otherwise." She spat, sparing him no apologies.

"Stupid?" he echoed, a bitter laugh escaping him. "No, Selwyn, they're my friends because they actually quite like my company, however I doubt you know the feeling."

Quinn's eyes flashed with anger, and she leaned in, lowering her voice to a venomous whisper. "If you think for a second that you can intimidate me—"

Remus cut her off, his tone suddenly serious. "Oh, I don't need to intimidate you, Selwyn. You do a fine job of isolating yourself, I bet. In fact, it must be exhausting."

"Kindly, Lupin," she started, her tone was anything but nice, "fuck off. I have better things to do with my time than stand here and argue with the likes of you." Quinns was up to her ears from her feet with irritation.

"That's funny. You could at least learn to say 'please' once in a while." He breathed, take a step back from their proximity.

Quinn's lip curled into a sneer. "And you could learn your place, Lupin," she snapped. "If I wanted manners, I wouldn't ask a filthy half-blood for them." she spat the words forcibly.

Remus rolled his eyes back in response, more of a natural reaction whenever Quinn Selwyn was around. Finally, he stepped aside, expression cold and unyielding. "Don't let me keep you from your noble pursuits," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he gestured towards the open space. "Wouldn't want to stand in the way of your self-importance," he muttered under his breath, barely loud enough for her to hear.

She opened her mouth, ready with a retort, but then she stopped herself short. Instead, she simply huffed and continued down the corridor, making sure to harshly bump her shoulder against his as she walked by. Quinn didn't turn back, her mind already returning to the endless spiral of thoughts that had plagued her all day.

Remus watched as her figure disappeared from view behind the train door, his fists curled tightly into balls. He shook his head as to push the encounter to the back of his mind. There were far more important things to worry about, and he couldn't afford to waste energy on someone like Selwyn. No, not at all. Her attitude and words were like a persistent, irritating itch that managed to even drain the life out of flowers. She was annoying, sure, but ultimately meaningless.

The encounter left a bitter taste on Quinn's tongue. Her fists clenched at her sides as she stormed down the corridor, her knuckles white from the strain. The toll summer had taken on her, the new school year, the war—it all felt like a slow march towards a cliff, and she was headed straight to it blindfolded.

She reached the bathroom quick enough and shoved the door open, letting it close behind her with a click. She leaned heavily against the porcelain sink, her eyes locking onto her reflection in the mirror. The girl staring back looked composed, so why didn't she feel like it? The tension in her shoulders, the tightness in her chest, the hollowed cheeks— all rooted from fear.

With a deep breath, she turned on the tap, splashing cold water on her face. She needed to pull herself together, get herself through seventh year. There was no room for doubt or weakness. One more year. She just had to get through only one more year. Unfortunately, it was the time after that absolutely terrified her.

ACT I.
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