Dismal eyes that belonged to a lifeless face and a worn-out body that was tossed on a bench stared at an empty spot in the air hazily.

The crisp breeze brushed against the boy’s skin, and maybe it was the sole thing he could feel at that moment as every inch of him was overrun by a wrenching void.

Another sunken soul peeped out under the starry sky, slouching towards the boy he spotted after a few seconds. There were no words he could say as he caught a closer glimpse of the older boy’s hollowed look that pricked his heart even more.

They sat beside each other in painful silence as Taehyung didn’t know what to do with his life anymore, and Jeongguk didn’t know what to do to help the boy he was so fond of.

Why was Taehyung suffering? Why was he sad? Why was he caged to himself? Jeongguk didn’t have an answer to any of these questions, but to be honest, he didn’t need one. He only needed to bring that boy’s smile back, to make him laugh again, and help him forget, even for just a few minutes.

“Can I take you somewhere?”

Taehyung’s agonizing trance was shattered by his delicate, chock-full of care tone, but he didn’t have a physical reaction to his question. “It’s late, Jeongguk.”

“I know.” He had to contend with himself to repress his desperate need to swathe that boy in a tender hug. “Come with me, anyway. One hour. Give me only one hour. I promise to not ask you anything you don’t want me to. I just want to take you somewhere.”

Taehyung pondered over his request for a while and eventually chose to trust his words that he wouldn’t ask him anything. “Okay.”

The younger rose from his seat and extended his hand towards him, pleading him with his eyes to grab it. And the relief that scattered across his chest when Taehyung timidly held his hand was like no other.

He pulled him to his feet with absolute gentleness and reined back his desire to smother him in his hug once more as they trudged to his car with linked hands.

Jeongguk opened the door for him and held his hand even after Taehyung got inside the car. He caressed it with his thumb, gazing at him with sparkling eyes and a fond smile on his lips.

Taehyung returned the smile, feeling his stomach tighten at his utterly delicate caress. He missed his warmth the moment Jeongguk dragged his hand away, and he uttered a quiet ‘thank youʼ before he closed the door.

Both inside the car now, Jeongguk started the engine and drove away. Although he wanted to ask him a myriad of things about what happened, he pushed his questions aside and decided to mention something else that was bothering him.

“You know, what Namjoon said about me before, that I’m getting emotional when I lose a match and blame myself, I didn’t want you to know that,” he started in a mild tone, glancing at him a few times.

“Why?”

“I think the image I’ve shown you until now is that of a strong guy who can handle things well and can be a support for others. I didn’t want you to think less of me or see me differently because of that. I want you to feel like you can lean on me if you ever need that.”

“Jeongguk...” he whispered as he twisted to look at him. “You’re indeed a strong guy who can handle things well, and you’re more than capable of supporting others, but you’re allowed to break down sometimes as well. You’re a human after all. I would never think less of you because of that or anything, to be honest. And now that you mentioned it, will you tell me the real reason you react this way when you lose? I mean, I get that you don’t like to lose. No one likes that. But I believe there’s another reason behind it.”

A sigh left Jeongguk's lips, and he stayed silent for a short while, trying to find the courage to answer his question.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me,” Taehyung uttered as he was able to discern his hesitation.

“It’s not that, it’s just... I’ve never said that to anyone before.” He drew in a mouthful of air and deflated his chest with a slow exhalation. “I hate disappointing others. My friends and family have this perception about me that I’m good in everything I do, and every time I lose, I prove them wrong. I hate that, Taehyung. I hate myself for that.”

To say that Taehyung wasn’t taken aback by his profound confession and bitterness he individuated in his tone would be a sheer lie.

“Jeongguk, they would never be disappointed in you because of that. You don’t lose because you’re bad at what you do, you lose because you can’t always win. You can’t always be the first in everything, you can’t always make the best coffee, you can’t always do everything right, you can’t always be the champion, no one can.

“Losing a match doesn’t mean you let them down. I’m sure if you said that to your friends and family, they would beat your ass for thinking something like this.” A smile stretched on his lips with a hint of fondness when Jeongguk’s melodic chuckle traveled through the car and infiltrated his ears, sending warmth in his torn-apart heart.

“Please understand that it’s okay to lose sometimes and that your friends and family don’t care as long as you try your best. Because that’s what matters, to try your best. And please understand that losing isn’t pointless and it doesn’t mean you suck. It means progress because when you lose, you learn so many things.”

Hearing his comforting and wise words, Jeongguk could only smile at all times. “You know so many things, Taebear. You always have the right words.”

Taehyung broke into giggles at his jaunty tone, reaching out to nudge his shoulder. “I’m serious, and you’re mocking me!”

Jeongguk joined the outburst of laughter, feeling ripples of alleviation since he managed to bring back his smile and make him laugh. “I’m serious too. Thank you for listening and for the amazing advice. I really needed that.”

“Just because you heard what I said doesn’t mean you’ll do it right away. You’re used to dealing with defeat like that, so it will be difficult to change it. Just have it in mind after your next match, okay?”

“Okay. Do you wanna come this Sunday?”

“Honestly? I don’t like watching people beat each other.”

“Please?”

“We’ll see,” he said below his breath, but he really didn’t want to go. Whatever had to do with physical fight or violence was connected in Taehyung’s head with his hyung, and there was no escaping that.

  
It took them a while to arrive at their destination, but it was one hundred percent worth it.

The moment they got out of the car, Taehyung’s jaw dropped open and his enlarged eyes flared in awe.

 
 
    
 
An array of colors brightened the whole place as the water moved in patterns, creating magical waves, and making it even more breathtaking than it already was.

He wriggled his hands in utter excitement, an enormous grin bursting onto his face as he darted his gaze at Jeongguk, who was already peering at him with soft eyes. “It’s so beautiful, Kookie!” he said in a high-pitched tone that was filled with content.

Jeongguk felt as if he were in heaven. Seeing the boy so happy over a few colors was so heartwarming and sweet — his heart had already melted, and the only thing Taehyung did was smile at him.

“I’m glad you like it, Taecute,” he answered with a mild chuckle, another surge of something soothing undulating through him. “You wanna sit somewhere here and enjoy it?”

“Yes! It’s so freaking beautiful!”

“I agree.”

Taehyung peeped at him and chuckled as he shoved his shoulder. “Have you even glanced at it? You’re only looking at me!”

He hummed without tearing his gaze away in the slightest, his warm smile unyielding. “This should tell you something.”

Jeongguk had a few scenarios in mind about Taehyung’s reaction to his remark: to blush, to lose his smile, to avoid his gaze, to become fidgety. But he could never imagine Taehyung stepping towards him with his boxy smile and throwing his arms around his nape.

“Thank you,” Taehyung whispered against the slope of his neck. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

Nothing could describe Jeongguk’s astonishment, but nothing could describe his elation either. In a split second, he had ringed his slim waist with his arms, his hold secure, firm, but gentle, as if he were made of crystal and could break at any moment.

“You seem like a person who would find these things spectacular to see, and I’m so happy I was right.” He beamed when the older untucked his head and looked at him with his glimmering eyes. He slowly raised his hand and ran his fingers through his wavy hair, letting it rest on his nape at last. “I want you to know that you can tell me anything when or if you ever want to. I want to make sure you know that I care, but I won’t ask anything because I said I won’t, and I know you don’t want me to. But if you wanna say literally anything, I’m here to listen.”

The eye contact didn’t falter at all. Something engulfed both, but they had no idea what it was — they could only feel their hearts dance at a rapid rhythm. Taehyung nibbled his lower lip the moment he felt small circles of red surface on his cheeks.

“Come on.” Taehyung took his hand into his and led him a little further away from the car. They sat away from the few people who were there as well, facing the colorful waters. Their fingers remained interlaced and their sides lightly pressed against each other as Taehyung observed the view, and Jeongguk didn’t seem able to peel his gaze away from him.

“I’m sorry for reacting this way at the cafe when you touched me. My hyung was there, and he’s a little strict.”

“Your hyung? The guy who grabbed you like that was your hyung?”

Taehyung’s body twitched at the memory, suddenly feeling restless to the bone, but the calming sight in front of him and Jeongguk’s warmth eased his agitation a tad. “Yes. He’s homophobic, and he would be mad if h-he saw you t-touch me like that. I did it to protect you.”

“Protect me?” Jeongguk didn’t know what to think about the new information. The only thing he knew was that he felt disgust towards Taehyung’s hyung.

“He gets mad easily, and I don’t want to even think how he would react if he saw that. Anyway, don’t worry about it. I got it. I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“How can I not worry? He made you cry, Taehyung. Does he... Is he violent with you?”

“No,” the lie flew off his lips with ease, but his heart stung since lying to that kindhearted boy didn’t seem right. “Everything is okay. Let’s not talk about it more.”

Even though Jeongguk was unsure about his answer and wanted to know more things, he chose to respect his wish.

And they sat there with their hands interlocked, stealing glances of each other and smiling nonstop, as they conversed about other things, anything but themselves.

 
Time seemed to race when they were together, and just like that, an hour rolled by without even realizing it. They returned to the car, and Jeongguk drove him to his house — the small talk, the laughter and glances were unending until they got closer to Taehyung’s house.

“You know,” the fluffy-haired boy said as he gazed out the window. “There’s a saying that says we always have the life we strive for. Do you agree?”

“Hmm, first of all, let me say that I love those questions of yours. They always make me think about stuff.” A heap of giggles ripped through the car from both. “I think, yes? I mean, if you want something and you don’t do anything about it, you’ll never get it, right?”

“It’s true, yeah. And what do you strive for, Jeongguk?”

The said boy hummed and stayed silent for a few seconds as it was something he hadn’t thought before. “I think to do my best in boxing and get better every day and win a lot of matches. Boxing is a big part of my life, and I guess I strive to become the best I can in that. What do you strive for?”

He received silence in response and couldn’t help but furrow his brows. He gave him some more time as he stopped outside of his house and set his gaze on him.

Taehyung softly bit his lower lip. An almost imperceptible, sad smile was engraved on his face as he finally locked eyes with him. “I strive to stand on my feet every day and get through each day that comes.”

“Taehyung...” he breathed out in a state of confusion, sorrow, and worry blended all together — this mix of stinging emotions was painted over his features. “What does that mean?”

“I really can’t thank you enough for today. Thank you for making me laugh and for everything you did. Goodnight.” He opened the door, but a desperate grasp on his hand immobilized him.

“Taehyung. I’m here for you.”

Taehyung cracked a smile as his eyes brimmed with tears. He was so messed up, so shattered, so lost, and sure about only one thing: there was no salvation for his scarred soul, and the least he could do was keep Jeongguk away from it for his own good.

So he cupped his hand, holding it as gently as possible and caressing it with his thumb while he smiled through his tears and spoke in a whisper, “Goodnight, Kookie.”

⚜✳⚜
 
 
Another update because why not? 💜
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