Alright! It's Mercy... by @Precious182021

LINK: https://www.wattpad.com/story/303475778-alright-it%27s-mercy

GENRE FILED AS:

TEEN FICTION⭐

𝚃𝙸𝚃𝙻𝙴(suitable title, relates to the story, defines the story): 5

⭐FIRST THOUGHTS:

I feel like the title is good. Just on the cover not so good because it merges with the hand. Because of that I suggest turning it more lighter like a gray. Or even red to make it stand out against the white and black.

⭐READING DESCRIPTION:

I LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. The description. Defiantly would try to dramatize the cover though by changing text or adding a possible quote number that allures even more.

⭐READ THE BOOK:

𝙲𝙾𝚅𝙴𝚁: (portrays the story, pulls the reader in, makes the reader excited!, well made): 3

⭐Yes the cover is well made. Although it does not pull me/ looks botch in for the reasons expressed in the category: title.

𝙱𝙻𝚄𝚁𝙱/𝙳𝙴𝚂𝙲𝚁𝙸𝙿𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽(Will it attract readers to click the read button, tells what the book is about and matches what is read, captivating): 3

⭐FIRST THOUGHTS:

Before I read yes I'm already excited to read this. I MEAN HOW COULD YOU NOT BE EXCITED BY THE WORDS "The questions of being a true follower of Christ" EXSCUE ME PRECIOUS182021 I KNOW REWRITING THIS BUT DAMN. PLEASE UPDATE ME WHEN YOU GOT MORE CHAPTERS. You're starting with a three currently just for the bio of this book.

Although I feel like it could be expanded a tad bit more in another paragraph adding more mystery to the book while explaining this character's background. You know the information to really picture this in your brain.

Personally I would not pick this up if it wasn't for the description. (That my dear writer IS SO GOOD. Just need that character definition like what does she look like, hair, her race yk.) Currently I will put you at a 3.

⭐FIRST CHAPTER:

I consider the first chapter apart of the "blurb/description" because when I pick up a book I want something straight to the point and something that will claw at my throat. Does anyone really just "read the description". Not really unless you're a gen x.

N o t e s

I don't like the first paragraph. It doesn't excite me and really would this "excite" anyone. Sure love god but if you take out this religious parts of an actual storyline... I hate to say that the disappointment is showing. 

You could add more depth to the character. Why are they choosing god? What forced this decrepit little soul to take "just a special" day. Is the mention of her birthday really that relevant? 

As a Judge I may be a little hard but for a starting paragraph you're meant to hook the reader. What is the reason of choosing Christianity for this character.

And why was the mention that "I hate water." Are they afraid and how come?

How was it a mind-blowing experience? 

𝙾𝚁𝙸𝙶𝙸𝙽𝙰𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚈/𝙲𝚁𝙴𝙰𝚃𝙸𝚅𝙸𝚃𝚈(How creative the scenes are, are they well explained,unique, special, not cliche, not remade): 1

⭐BEFORE READING

The church idea is not so original let's get that out of the way. And to be honest eight minutes on wattpad? You're killing me softly. Starting high you get an 8 until further notice.

⭐HALFWAY

No. I'm just telling you it's a no. 

⭐END

There's not even a 'story' to go off of. I asked my friend eclipse to maybe hope I'm finally going crazy coo coo banana worthy. BUT NO. They didn't even read the full thing.

𝙶𝚁𝙰𝙼𝙼𝙰𝚁/𝙿𝚄𝙽𝙲𝚃𝚄𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽(Good use of grammar and punctuations where needed, overall Readability): 6

A lot of random capitalization 😢 and also not good transitions very cut off. 

𝙿𝙻𝙾𝚃(the whole purpose of the book, alignment, direct and true, matches what is being read): 4

⭐DUDE. There is no plot no purpose and no alignment for a climax of feeling this sudden "FREER AND HAPPIER." Literally call the Mary Sue hotline.

𝚆𝚁𝙸𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝚃𝚈𝙻𝙴(Execution of the plot, is it fast paced or too slow paced. The choice of words): 3

⭐There's legitimately no plot for the 4 minutes I spent reading this flavorful book. I want "Dear Cho Sohee" dead already. Way too fast and nothing to really pick up on for there is only mentioned of the dunking of water.

𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙳𝙴𝚅𝙴𝙻𝙾𝙿𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃(the one everyone loves,the changes they undergo to achieve the aim of the story. How interesting are the characters): 2

⭐There's no character development due to only being one chapter. Along with the only chapter existing there's not depth or mystique to anything. There's not a single climax or something to slowly overcome.

There's only "freer and happier."

This 'character' does not feel real.

𝙾𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙰𝙻𝙻 𝙴𝙽𝙹𝙾𝚈𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃(Did it attract you to read further(page turner),was the story worth it): 1

⭐ BEFORE READING:

I am liking the outside of it even though I haven't touched a page yet. 

⭐FIRST CHAPTER

Absolutely hate it. If I even touched the first sentence I would've chuck this book into hell lmao.

𝚃𝙾𝚃𝙰𝙻: 28/100%