Harry's POV

At first, Harry couldn't believe this was actually real. When he slowly woke up on the first morning after the fire, he was hit with an unfamiliar warmth and a beautiful scent. Blinking his eyes open, he realised he had scooted right into Louis' chest during the night. For a moment, Harry was confused why they were even in his bed together but then he remembered their conversation from last night and everything came back to him, still feeling like a dream.

"It's pretty cold up here. Are you sure you wanna sleep here? You could take the guest room for tonight and I'll sleep on the couch or something" Harry offered him when the cold attic air was settling deep in his bones, completely ignoring the fact that Evelina's room was empty for the night and he could sleep there instead.

"I won't let you sleep on the couch, Haz" Louis replied absent-mindedly, sending the usual shiver down Harry's spine at the use of that special nickname. No one else called him that.

"And I won't let you sleep up here until it's warm enough when I know you get cold easily. I can't do that. It's not r ...".

"How do you even know that?" Louis crinkled his nose puzzled.

"I pay attention to you sometimes, obviously" Harry tried to play it off as a joke instead of admitting his unhealthy obsession.

For a long moment, Louis was only looking at him and it made him feel uneasy because he couldn't read him, he never could. Louis was really hard to read most of the time but Harry was getting better at it because Louis was letting him in surprisingly.

"What if we both sleep in the guest room? We could share the bed for one night, don't you think? It's big enough for two and ..." Louis shocked him with his words but mostly with the lovely colour of his cheeks. Was he really blushing right now? Damn it, he really was absolutely beautiful all of the time.

"I'd like that, Lou" Harry rushed out before Louis could feel embarrassed for suggesting this. Harry knew this was another big step for Louis towards him and he wouldn't ruin it this time.

"Really?" Louis sounded so surprised that it hurt him.

"Yes, really. I'd really like that" Harry assured him softly, never wanting Louis to doubt himself or Harry's intentions ever again. He wouldn't let Louis regret his bravery by being an idiot.

"Okay".

"Okay".

For another selfish moment, Harry nuzzled his nose deeper into Louis' chest and inhaled his wonderful scent. God, he really was gone beyond salvation. It was getting creepy now and he knew that but he wasn't strong enough to resist just yet. He wasn't strong enough to pull away and wake up from this dream. Not yet.

But he should do it right now because he could feel Louis waking up and he wouldn't want him to freak out first thing in the morning. They had fallen asleep on different sides of the bed and by now, he was entirely buried in Louis' chest like a total weirdo. That would definitely scare him off and Harry couldn't have that.

"Haz?" Louis' sleepy voice rasped out and Harry was fucked. He had taken too long in fantasy land. "Good morning".

To his big surprise, Louis actually tightened his grip on Harry's waist for a moment before he opened his eyes and glanced down at him still curled up into his arms like a freak. Feeling humiliated, Harry recoiled out of his touch and onto his own side, his eyes wide open and his face one hundred per cent flaming red.

"God, I'm so sorry. I must have moved in my sleep and sought you out because ...".

"Hey, it's alright, Haz" Louis reached out for him, grabbing for his left hand, still absolutely sleepy. "I don't mind".

"You don't?" Harry's hand was tingling from this simple touch but his mind was going crazy. Memories of himself and Josh in bed were coming back up. Of Josh insisting on Harry being the big spoon because he was taller and a doctor and other reasons. Of Josh mocking him when he had snuggled up to him once.

"No? Why would I?" Louis squinted at him slightly alarmed at his tone of voice. "It was warm but now you're gone. Come back".

Blaming Louis' still sleeping brain for this request, he hesitantly crawled back into his arms, not knowing what to do when Louis wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer. "Like this?".

"Exactly like this. Now hush" Louis murmured drowsily, tucking him under his chin and right into his chest. "Five more minutes".

These five minutes turned into thirty minutes and felt like an entire eternity to Harry. In this position, he could hear Louis' steady heartbeat and it lulled him back into a dream-like state. His own heart was racing like crazy, losing control over his actions. Almost asleep again, Harry fisted Louis' t-shirt with both of his hands, wanting to hold on for as long as possible. As a response, Louis buried his nose in Harry's hair, tightening his grip even more.

With Louis this close, Harry's brain felt like mush and all of his insides like goo but at the same time, every part of him was on fire. With Josh, he hadn't felt like this. He had felt almost empty and emotionless at points but he had pushed those realisations away for as long as he could. Just like that bad feeling and wise voice inside of him on their first date, that had warned him to not go through with it and run for the hills, run back to Louis and ask him why he was keeping him at a distance.

By now, he knew the answer and wanted to punch himself. He should have known there had been a reason. He should have tried harder and not given up. He shouldn't have agreed to date the next-best person available only because Louis didn't jump him the first night. He should have tried to become his friend first and earn his trust and get to know the person behind that perfect face. He should have made him feel safe enough to trust him with all of his fears and worries. He should have done everything he was doing now months ago. Maybe that would have spared him a broken heart. Maybe they could have been a thing then. Now he wasn't sure anymore what was in the cards for them. He wasn't sure if Louis could even like him like that after everything or if he would be doomed to stay in the friendzone forever, which was still better than not being in Louis' life. That one month without him has been hell.

"What are you thinking about so early in the morning, Haz?" Louis stirred a bit, his voice cutting through Harry's crazy-going mind.

" I wasn't ...".

"None of that. This is your cute little thinking face, don't even try to lie to me" Louis brought a little bit of space between them, so that they could look at each other but he kept a hand on Harry's waist because he wanted to kill him. "So, you wanna tell me?".

"I ..." Harry felt himself blush again, his hands still gripping Louis' t-shirt like a lifeline. "I was thinking about this one month without you and how much of an idiot I was for letting him get in between us. It was hell without you, Lou".

"Oh, Haz" Louis stroked with his free hand gently over Harry's jawline but then seemed to realise what he was doing and instantly retreated his hand, making Harry shudder at the loss of contact. "Didn't we agree to leave this in the past and move on?".

"We did but I can't stop myself from feeling bad about it, about how he treated you. Especially now with knowing ...".

"My fucked up mind is not your concern, Haz" Louis placed his hand back on his face, making him fall silent. "Everyone keeps telling me to think better about myself and accept my worth and I'm trying but it's not always working. It depends on the situation and I admit that Josh didn't help but this isn't on you. None of it".

"But I could have made you feel better instead of worse" Harry insisted stubbornly, regretting never stopping Josh's escapades.

"With me being unable to look past the money imbalance between us, I don't think you could have done anything" Louis blurted out and his eyes grew big and he paled. "Um ... I mean ...".

"So, that's what you're most worried about?" Harry's mind was rattling, trying to find the right words for this fragile moment.

"Wasn't that painfully obvious last night?" Louis backed away from him a little bit, retreating into himself in plain sight and no. No.

"I've been thinking about what you said last night and I have some questions for you". Something like fear flashed through his eyes and Harry couldn't have that. "Do you hate being a waiter?".

At first, clear confusion was visible on Louis' face but then his expression turned into something more neutral but vulnerable at the same time before he answered his question. "No".

"Do you think all waiters should get paid more?".

"Hell, yes. Definitely but that's not ...".

"Do you normally care about other people's opinions?".

"No, they can mind their own damn business".

"Then why do you care so much about what others think about your job, Louis?".

"Um ...".

"Why does it matter how much money someone makes? Why do you care about some of your friends making more money than you if it's not an issue? If they don't make it an issue, why are you making it one?".

"I don't know" Louis furrowed his forehead in concentration but then something seemed to click and fall into place in his incredible mind. "I shouldn't, right?".

"You shouldn't need to worry about it when none of us cares. If someone really cares more about a person's income, your income, then they don't deserve to get to know the real you, Louis" Harry was now the one hesitantly touching Louis' cheek. "And I'm not saying that you're poor or anything. You make good money at the restaurant but I know you think that you don't ...".

"I get it, Haz" Louis silenced him with a finger on his lips.

"Yeah?" Harry checked hopefully.

"I think I do. Money isn't important. Did I get that right? It doesn't matter what your profession is because we're all valuable and if some asshole doesn't get that, they're not worthy to be in my life, right? It's about loving what you do and being happy with your life and being lucky enough to meet the right people, who think the same and make you a better person" Louis' words made him wanna cry right here in this bed on a Sunday morning.

"You're gonna make me cry, Lou" Harry smiled proudly at him.

"That wasn't my intention. I was just trying to let your words sink in and take over because I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm less only because I'm not getting paid millions" Louis told him strongly but then his expression faltered a little. "I'm trying to let reason, logic and even common sense be stronger than my mind. My doubts and insecurities. Let's see how that works out in the long run".

"I'm sure it will be fine because you are amazing and not worth less than some stupid big-headed surgeon or something. Those can be the dumbest people alive actually" Harry wanted to be closer to him again but he tried to resist whining like a baby.

"Are you saying this because you think your sister's doctors were the dumbest people alive?" Louis hooked curiously.

"Maybe not the dumbest but we could have found out about her sickness earlier if it weren't for a stupid doctor. She um ... she has lupus and we've only found out when she was twenty-five ...".

"So late?" Louis checked absolutely horrified. "But isn't lupus really dangerous? How come they didn't see that earlier?".

"I really don't know. He could have seen it earlier but he didn't take her symptoms seriously. I had to do my own research and hint at him what it could be. Around that time, it wasn't too bad yet but her treatments are very expensive. I wasn't done with medical school yet obviously and my parents were struggling to pay for them on their own, which didn't make it better. That's why I'm so thankful for my job. I can help people and I'm able to provide for my sister's treatments if she lets me. She can be quite stubborn" Harry told him more about his sister's sickness and struggles.

"Oh, no. I wonder why?!" Louis gasped in faux-ignorance.

"Piss off" Harry pushed him against the shoulder but cracked up laughing with Louis. "Now with her pregnancy, we have to be careful and watchful. Once, she already had an emergency kidney transplantation that saved her life and we can't risk that again. We won't be that lucky twice. Finding a suitable donor is almost ...".

"Impossible, I know" Louis seemed a bit tenser than a few minutes ago but maybe he was only getting restless. "I'm very happy that your sister is fine and I'm sure her pregnancy will go smoothly. She definitely has a great guardian angel up there".

"You're right about that. During the Corona pandemic, she never got infected luckily. This could've been too much for her body to handle and I was so scared the entire time" Harry thought back to those stressful years full of fear and panic.

"I can relate to that. I was scared my mum would get it. After her fight against cancer, her body was weakened and Corona would have given her the rest but she was lucky too" Louis shared more of his memories and feelings with him.

"We both got lucky then" Harry felt like that statement meant so much more to him and he hoped to Louis as well.

"Guess we did" Louis smiled crookedly at him. "I don't know about you but I could devour an entire junket. I'm starving, Haz".

Bursting into laughter at his choice of words, Harry felt happier than in a long time. "Me too, Lou".

Still a bit tired, the two of them stood up, got dressed and headed into the kitchen, where they were met with Louis' mother. "Good morning, you two. Had a good night?".

Harry dared to glance at Louis and caught him already looking at him with a soft look in his eyes. "Really good night actually but where are the girls? I swear I heard them earlier".

"They're outside. Ate an hour ago with Zoey" Jasmine pointed towards the garden at them running around like crazy.

"And they didn't wake me up?" Louis gasped scandalized, totally forgetting that they wouldn't have found him in his own room. "I think I need to have a word with them. Excuse me".

With fast steps, Louis headed outside and made his presence known with a funny display of feigned madness. The girls squealed and ran away from him but Louis caught up to them, grabbed them around the waist and twirled them around until they were laughing like crazy, looking so adorably happy. Harry couldn't look away.

"If you want some, you should take it now" Jasmine looked at him with a slight smirk playing on her lips.

"What?" Harry squeaked out, feeling caught and embarrassed.

"Scrambled eggs. If you want some, you should be fast" Jasmine showed the pan to him, obviously holding in some laughter.

"Oh. Um ... sure. I'd like some" Harry's face turned crimson.

"I figured" Jasmine was full-on smirking by now, filling some eggs on a plate for him. "Bacon?".

Not trusting his own mouth, Harry only nodded and accepted the full plate. Frozen, he watched Jasmine walk into the living room and sit down on the couch. Feeling highly awkward, he decided to try and make her like him. This was Louis' mother, after all. He needed her to like him. Otherwise, he'd want to die.

"Can I?" Harry cleared his throat when he reached the couch.

"Of course, Darling. You don't have to ask. You live here now. You are supposed to make yourself feel at home" Jasmine patted the spot next to her on the couch, her tone gentle.

"I'm trying but I don't wanna bother anyone or ...".

"You're not bothering me, Harry" Jasmine saw right through him with that typical mum power. It was cursed. "And Louis neither".

"Well ..." Harry trailed off, stuffing the eggs into his mouth.

"I'm not sure where you two stand as off now but you should know that my son has a hard time letting people in because he has been hurt one too many times over the years," Jasmine told him casually.

"Yeah, I ... I noticed that but we're working on it" Harry replied clumsily. "I mean on letting each other in ... mentally ... um ...".

"I can see that" Jasmine had mercy on him luckily. "I can see that he wants you to stay in his life, he wants to let you in completely but it won't be that easy. I'm sure he told you mostly everything by now because I know my son but just because he got it off his chest and you know, it doesn't mean all of his fears, doubts and worries and insecurities will go away. They've been there for ages and I'm afraid you have to work with them and accept that they won't disappear".

"You mean he will never see that he is enough just the way he is? That money doesn't matter and doesn't define his worth? I thought he got it somehow, that he understood this morning what I was trying to tell him" Harry frowned at her words, doubtful now.

"I can't tell you if he understood whatever you were trying to make him see but I'm just trying to tell you that insecurities that run this deep won't ever fully go away. He might be able to handle them better one day and I really hope so. It's just like you said. He is enough the way he is and he needs to see that. I'm glad you see it. That might help" Jasmine's entire face showed pure gratitude.

"All that because he dropped out of uni and isn't some highly-regarded lawyer or something? I wish he knew that it doesn't really matter. He has everything a man could want and shouldn't feel like he is less because of some stupid invention like money or so ...".

"I fully agree with you but some of those very successful and very sophisticated people treat someone like us like utter shit and that leaves its mark, a permanent mark. Sadly, not everyone is like you. I met many arrogant doctors and surgeons in my time and I don't wanna know how many he met that are more like ...".

"Josh" Harry muttered bitterly.

"Or even worse than him" Jasmine sighed heavily. "What I'm really trying to tell you is that money isn't an issue that will go away. It's the most common reason for people to fall out. Keep that in mind".

"I will but I won't give up on him over something as insignificant as money. He's too important to me to let him go a second time. I will not lose him again" Harry stated determinedly, glancing outside at Louis laughing with his daughters. "I can't".

"That's what I wanted to hear" Jasmine smiled emotionally, his heart beating faster at that. "Welcome to the family, Harry".

Preening at that, Harry felt like he could jump out of his skin in the most positive way possible. He wanted to scream out of joy and happiness but he contained himself. Letting out a long shuddering breath, Harry beamed at her. "I promise I won't hurt him if he might actually decides to let me in and be a part of his life".

"I think he already did that" Jasmine tilted her head to the side.

"I will do everything in my power to make him see that he is enough. I won't let other people ruin this" Harry promised her like he was some stupid main character in some dumb novel. "Or us".

"What are you two talking about all alone? Don't scare him off just yet, Mum" Louis came back inside joyfully with both girls running after him. "The girls would never forgive you".

"Sure, the girls would never" Jasmine snorted at him amusedly.

"Whatever. So, what are you talking about?" Louis asked again but was attacked by Maeva and Evelina again, falling to the floor.

And right then it hit Harry. This scene playing out in front of him was everything he wanted in life. That family, that love, that joy and happiness. That man with all of his flaws and insecurities. Not just for a while, hoping for the best. No, he wanted that forever. He wanted that to be his future and realised that right there and then.

Like the magician Jasmine was, she could definitely read that kind of realisation in his eyes because she only smiled but had unshed tears in her eyes when she looked up at her son. "Oh, nothing at all, Buttercup. Nothing important. Just some bonding over someone we love. Right, Harry?".

Locking eyes with Louis for a second, Harry felt like melting and his brain was useless. "Yeah, exactly".

Five days later, the next emotionally-loaded day in the Tomlinson family household was heading his way with full might. Nikki's birthday. That Friday morning, Louis had offered the girls to stay home with him and his mother but they had insisted on going to school. The whole morning, the mood had been sullen and dark but they had managed to make the best out of it. For Harry, it had been interesting to watch this from the sidelines but he also didn't know how to act because he hasn't been around for Violetta's birthday earlier this year. He felt totally useless and out of place.

Right now, he was in his place, his doctor's office, and had just dismissed a little girl with a fever. The whole time he has been distracted, his thoughts somewhere else. Luckily, he had his break coming up now. Hopefully, it would help clear his mind and give him his focus back. He couldn't risk overlooking something crucial or doing something wrong only because Louis and the girls were at the top of his mind. He desperately needed other thoughts. Right now.

Ruffling his hands through his kinda short hair, Harry glanced at his reflection in the mirror on the wall. Seeing himself like this was still unusual and he didn't like it. He missed his longer hair but it has been his own fault that it was gone. He could still remember how long his hair has been when he had moved into the penthouse and how he had cut it after working at the hospital for one month. He had always felt like other people, other doctors, had judged him for his unconventional appearance and behaviour, so he had tried to bend to society's norms but he had felt like he had lost himself.

So, when he had quit his job there, he had let his hair grow out again after some time but not without hesitation and second thoughts and big doubts. He could still remember how Josh had commented on it in a very mean way, covering it up as a joke or a bit of advice to better fit in. It had led to him cutting his hair again and never even thinking about letting it grow out again but right now, he was missing it. He wanted his hair back but was too afraid.

"Are you alright, H?" Sean's voice startled him, making him jump and spin around to him. He was leaning in the open door.

"Yeah, just a lot on my mind today. Can't seem to focus" Harry dropped into his desk chair with a defeated sigh.

"Did something happen with Louis?" Sean came over to him, hopping up onto the table and letting his feet dangle down.

"Yes? No? Not really? I have no idea, to be honest," Harry felt so helpless and lost when it came to Louis. "I thought we were getting somewhere but then his mother kinda warned me that I might get ahead of myself too fast and too soon. She told me that money will always be an issue with Louis and his strong opin ...".

"Is that really surprising to you"? Sean cocked an eyebrow at him. "I talked to Louis about his work at the hospital once and that was enough for me to grasp the extent of his doubts when it comes to people like us. He has good reasons to expect the worst".

"He didn't tell me much about that and his mother only hinted at how bad people can treat them. And I only saw Josh doing it, which I thought was different but maybe it wasn't" Harry racked his brain for everything Louis had let him know about this. "He did tell me about his struggles, which was a big step for him. I know that. He doesn't talk about money, not with me at least until now. He explained his entire situation to me and admitted some of his insecurities and I feel honoured that he let me in but I don't know what to do next".

"Have you let him know about all of your insecurities?" Sean questioned knowingly, so Harry shook his head meekly. "You have to if you wanna get anywhere. Louis might think he is the only one with mental barriers but he isn't, isn't he?".

"No" Harry gnawed on his bottom lip guiltily. "I just feel like my issues are nothing compared to his. He thinks he isn't enough".

"Do you think you're enough just the way you are?" Sean hooked intensively. "The way you truly are inside, H".

"I ..." Harry hesitated to answer that question, fighting with himself and his brain for dominance. He won. "I sometimes think if I had chosen a different career path, then maybe I would feel like I can be who I really am all the time. But in here or at the hospital or around people who only see me as Doctor Styles ... Not really".

"So, you kinda know how he feels. Does he know that? Does he know what you're dealing with? Do you really know why he feels he is not enough?" Sean checked intelligently, always the smart one.

"I guess not" Harry had to admit. "He told me he feels like he is less because of his income and place in society and because money is always ...".

"I get that. People can be cruel" Sean talked over him. "But I think there is more. This money and status thing explains why he is so hesitant to let people in, mixed with obvious trust issues. But ...".

"Trust issues? How did you get that?" Harry blinked at him.

"Are you serious? It's quite obvious to me. Whereby, thinking about it, I guess abandonment issues might hit it straight on the head. You are the one with trust issues, which is a given after ...".

"But I don't have an issue with trusting him" Harry cleared up as fast as he could. "I don't think he would ever stab me in the back".

"But you're still not letting him see the real you. Only parts of it because you are scared to get judged again" Sean just knew.

"Help me, Sean. What am I supposed to do? How can I open up to him without backing out at the last second? How can I make him feel safe enough to tell me everything? How can we work all of this out?" Harry put his head in Sean's lap.

"There is only one way. By being honest and brave" Sean stroked through his hair soothingly. "Fear is holding you back".

"You're right but he's been so brave lately. It overwhelms me at times. I wanna show him that I appreciate it and that I don't want him to stop. I don't want him to give up on me just yet" Harry confessed sheepishly, mumbling against Sean's knee.

"But he can't do everything alone, can he? I know you never make a move but I think in this case, both of you need to do something. Don't wait on him only approaching you. You have to get your ass up and fight for what you want. You're not a damsel in distress or some useless Disney princess like Snow White or ...".

"I am a princess though" Harry pointed out poutily. "At least, in private sometimes. I wanna find my prince charming".

"Then let Louis see your inner princess, H. But don't wait on Prince Charming when he is already right there. If it's him for you, then do something about it. A princess can do more than let herself be courted. She can do the courting herself. Independent woman and everything. A real warrior, just like you" Sean lifted his chin up, wanting to burn his words into Harry's skull.

"But warriors are fearless and fierce and ...".

"Even warriors are scared sometimes but they face their fears and beat them" Sean told him insistently.

"Like Louis" Harry immediately thought about him.

"Like you. You can do it" Sean tapped his nose lightly.

"Do you really think so?" Harry felt hope rise inside of him.

"I know so. Listen to your fairy godmother and go after what you want, H" Sean smiled encouragingly at him. "Fate gave you the perfect opportunity with this living situation. It's a gift. Use it. You're practically forced to do something and face him before it's too late".

"You think I could be too late?" Harry frowned terrified.

"If you bring around another Josh instead of womaning up and ...".

"There won't be another Josh" Harry stated indignantly. "That was a once-in-a-lifetime mistake. Never to be done again".

"I hope so. I don't think he could endure ...".

Sean's voice faded into the background when his phone vibrated. He had received a new text message. Taking his phone out, he read the text and froze right where he was. "Shit, shit, shit".

"What's wrong?".

"Mae and Eve are both sick. The school called and Louis is on his way to pick them up" Harry clutched his phone tightly.

"Then what are you still doing here? Go and be with them. They could need you there" Sean pulled him out of his chair and onto his feet, pushing him towards the office door. "Get out".

"Thank you, Sean. I owe you" Harry hugged him briefly.

"You do. Now go" Sean pushed him again. "And look on the bright side. Louis texted you about this instantly. Is a good sign to me".

"Um ... Actually, Louis didn't text me. It was his mother" Harry cleared his throat, his cheeks bright red.

"Oh my god. Go home to your family, for fuck's sake".

"I'm going. Piss off" Harry rushed down the hall towards their reception. "Tiffany, could you please transfer all of my remaining appointments to Sean? I have a family emergency and need to go".

"Sure, whatever you want, Doctor Styles" Tiffany got to work. "I hope it isn't too bad. Is it your sister again?".

"Nah, don't worry. His boy needs him" Sean leaned against the wall next to her, smirking maliciously.

"I hate you" Harry glared at him before he left the office.

Jumping into his Audi, he drove to Jasmine's house as fast as humanly possible. Louis' car was already there, which could only mean they were back and inside and Harry was going crazy. He didn't even know if Louis wanted him here or if he would get mad at his mother for letting him know and angry with Harry for coming home like he was part of this family and had any business here.

"Don't you wanna come inside?" Jasmine scared the living shit out of him when she opened the front door, that he was staring at.

"I um ...".

"He'll be happy to see you. Trust me" Jasmine patted his shoulder, grounding him somehow. "See you tonight, Harry".

Still scared but slightly less terrified, Harry stepped inside when Jasmine left for work. He couldn't hear anything. "Lou?".

In the distance, he heard a clacking sound and the next second, Louis' head popped out of the kitchen. "Haz? What are you doing here so early? Shouldn't you be at work?".

"Your mother texted me that the girls are sick and I thought ... I'm not really sure what I thought but I wanted to be here, so ... um ... Sean sent me home to ... I don't know" Harry stuttered out.

"You came home early for us?" Louis sounded shocked.

"Yes? Are you mad? I can leave" Harry still didn't move away from the front door, too scared to blink and upset Louis any further.

"No" Louis brought out, his face unmoving. "I'm just ... I didn't expect this and I ... The girls are upstairs and hopefully sleeping".

"That's good. They need a lot of rest" Harry cringed at his own words, sounding too much like a doctor to his own ears. "Sorry. I didn't mean to ... I know you know that already. I wasn't ...".

"I know, Haz" Louis cut his awkward rambling off, letting a beat pass before speaking again. "You wanna stay there?".

"Huh?" Harry felt utterly stupid right now. "Um ... no, I was only ... I wasn't sure if you wanted me here, so I kept my distance".

"Maybe better because I'm currently trying to make soup and we both know this might end in an explosion, so ..." Louis trailed off, a smirk prominent on his beautiful face. He was trying with him. He was actually trying.

"I don't think it's possible ...".

"You'd be surprised".

"But you said you make an ace pasta dish" Harry remembered how Louis had bragged about it and insisted on cooking it for him someday.

"And since when is pasta soup?" Louis cocked an eyebrow up.

"Pasta is technically more complicated than soup, Lou" Harry pointed out hopelessly endeared. "Whereas complicated isn't ...".

"Are you trying to insult my non-existent cooking skills, Harold?" Louis gasped exaggeratedly, a hand placed dramatically over his heart. "I thought you were raised better than that".

"I'd never do something like that. I was raised a true gentleman" Harry flashed him the peace sign with a shit-eating grin.

"You're unbelievable" Louis rolled his eyes, covering up a smile.

"I'm very believable because I'm gonna save this soup of yours" Harry marched into the kitchen now. "Better believe it, Lewis".

"You really don't have to" Louis dropped the playful act.

"But I want to. I came home to offer my help. Will you accept it?" Harry knew his eyes were literally pleading by now.

"Okay" Louis accepted his help a bit hesitant but not reluctant, which was a win. Or was it disbelief in his eyes? He couldn't tell.

Feeling good about himself, Harry claimed his spot at the stove and started to prepare some simple chicken soup for the sick girls. According to Louis, they both had a fever and maybe even a cold. Just like his last patient today. Had that been foreshadowing? Was fate actually trying to tell him something? Or was he going insane?

"You make it look so easy. I don't know how you do that" Louis commented on his cooking skills while sitting on the counter.

"Years and years of practise. Not necessarily for soup but in general. I've always loved cooking, especially with my Mum. It relaxes me when I'm stressed and I really love to cook for someone when I can. Sometimes it's my way of showing ..." Harry cut himself off, not ready to expose himself like that just yet. "I know it probably doesn't fit my image of the ...".

"Who cares about an image? You love cooking and nothing is wrong with that, Haz" Louis interrupted his belittling. "Somehow people always expect me to be able to cook, even before I had kids and I never fully understood why. Maybe because of my role in my sisters' lives or because they think I'm ... But I can't".

"People's expectations are something I will never understand. It only ruins everything, just like assumptions" Harry tried not to sound too bitter. "Just like everyone else, Josh assumed an awful lot about me and let me tell you, he was wrong with everything. I just don't think he knows that because I was playing into that role he had given me from the start, not even actively noticing that".

"I'm sorry, Haz. That's awful. I'm pretty sure I assumed some things when we met and now I feel even worse than back then ...".

"You mean like thinking I'm so much better than you because I make tons of useless money?" Harry turned around to face him. "That isn't a bad assumption, only a wrong one and I'm sure you know that by now. I'm still only a silly boy, who wants to be loved for who he is and gets fucked over time and time again".

"Come here, Haz" Louis opened his arms for him, his eyes sad. Powerlessly, Harry slumped into his arms, burying his nose in Louis' neck. "You are loved for who you are".

"No one knows who I really am. Not fully. I kept parts of my heart and soul hidden for as long as I can remember" Harry mumbled into his neck, not sure if he heard him or if he cared for real.

"That's very sad to hear. I hope one day you'll feel safe enough with me to let me see those parts. I'd love to see them. All of them in bright daylight. I'm sure those parts are beautiful" Louis thumbed along his spine tenderly. "Maybe this isn't the right thing to say but I noticed that you cut your hair again while we weren't talking. Why? I thought you might ...".

"It was the right thing to do" Harry stiffened in his arms.

"For whom? I know you cut it when you were still working at the hospital and that maybe made sense but I thought ...".

"What did you think?" Harry shuffled back a bit to look at Louis' face, needing to see his eyes and their expression.

"That you'd like to grow it out again. It looked like it to me" Louis still held onto Harry's waist, making him go weak in the knees. "Was I wrong? Was this another wrong assumption? If so, then I'm really s ...".

"No, I ... I get why you were thinking this" Harry couldn't let him doubt himself over this. "But I cut my hair on my own. Willingly".

"That's too bad. I really liked it longer. It suited you" Louis didn't look like he was believing him. "It looks good now too though".

"You think so?" Harry hated how desperate he sounded right now. Nothing about him represented confidence although that was what people expected of him. To be a confident and dominant doctor in and outside of work. He wasn't. "I hate it".

"I figured" Louis carded his hands through Harry's hair. "Why?".

"They judged me for it. He did" Harry murmured quietly.

"Screw them and screw him. He was freaking toxic and you didn't deserve that. Why the fuck does it matter if you have long hair or short hair? He shouldn't care about that. He had the privilege to date you. He should feel honoured that you even ...".

"Lou, sh" Harry cupped his face when Louis was getting worked up to soothe him. Still, it made him smile dumbly. "It's fine".

"Sorry, I just get so angry when I think about him. He mistreated you and it's not fine. It left its mark on you and your beautiful soul, Haz. That will never be fine" Louis looked about ready to jump up and kill Josh but Harry kept him in place with gentle hands on his face. "You should be treated like a princess every day, Haz".

And fuck. How was that man real? How did he know everything Harry longed for without ever admitting it out loud? How could he sit here frowning over his toxic ex and be absolutely and utterly gorgeous? How could he not see how wonderful he was? How could this man think he wasn't enough? He was everything.

"Only if you'd want that, of course. Maybe you're more the one treating someone else like ..." Louis backtracked when Harry stayed silent for too long, breaking his heart with his worries.

"A little bit of both, maybe" Harry stepped closer to him again, hovering in between Louis' legs and resting his hands on Louis' thighs, feeling and hearing him draw in a sharp breath. "I'd love to have someone treat me like a princess but I also love to spoil the people I love. Not because I wanna throw around my money. Only because I wanna make them smile. I wanna make them happy".

"I don't think you need your money for that, Haz. You are enough" Louis gulped, licking his lips and locking eyes with Harry.

"So are you, Lou" Harry retorted barely above a whisper, the tension and anticipation between them killing him inside.

"What the hell is that smell?" the sound of Zoey's voice made both of them jump and back away from each other.

A bit delayed, Harry realised what smell she was referring to. "Fuck, the soup. Shit, shit, shit. Fucking hell".

"Language" Louis cackled at his panicked cursing.

"As if you're any better" Harry found the strength to look at him and immediately wanted to swoon over Louis laughing so freely with red cheeks and crinkles by his eyes. He really was a sight.

"What is happening in here?" Zoey joined them in the kitchen.

"Nothing".

"Haz burned soup".

"Part of me wants to ask, the other says I shouldn't do it because I really don't wanna know. I leave you to it" Zoey eyed them warily.

"Letting soup get burned. I'm disappointed. Aren't you supposed to be a good cook?" Louis was taking the piss now but two could play that game and Harry was ready to go for what he wanted now.

"You can be quite distracting" Harry countered flirtily, taking Louis by surprise and making him blush slightly. "So, stop being cute for a second and let me start over. The girls need soup".

"Can't promise anything" Louis shot back weakly but Harry was dying over his cuteness inwardly. "Now cook my soup".

"Yes, Sir" Harry winked at him funnily, not missing Louis' visible reaction to it. Huh, interesting. He stored that information for later.

"Good" Louis cleared his throat and fiddled with his fingers. "And thank you, Haz".

Looking up for a second, Harry smiled softly at him. "Any time".

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They are talking!!!!!!

What do you think they need to do to make it work?

I was trying to showcase Harry's insecurities a bit more in here. I hope it worked out fine