It felt strange to be back home after being on vacation for three entire weeks and spending every second with company. Thankfully, he had the day off at the restaurant and only had somewhere to be later in the day. A slow start to get back into the rhythm of reality was exactly what he needed. So, right now he was driving his two daughters over to his mother's house. She was dying to see them.

Coming inside for a quick chat, Louis followed his mother into the kitchen while Maeva and Evelina ran upstairs to greet Zoey. "The three of you look good. Tan and rested and happy".

"We are. This vacation was badly needed. We had such a great time. It feels weird to be back" Louis leaned against the counter.

"I bet. It's always such an odd feeling to come back home and get back to work. Almost like the vacation was only a dream" Jasmine could relate to his feelings.

"But it wasn't. Zayn's sunburn proves that" Louis chuckled freely.

"Aye, will he ever learn to use sun creme?" Jasmine chortled.

"I don't think so".

"You have to tell me everything".

So, he told her about the ocean and the cities and villages they had visited. He told her about all the sights they have seen and all the different kinds of food they had tried out. He told her about the birthday dinner and Rose and Dominik. He told her about all the shared laughter and showed her dozens of pictures and videos.

"Wow look at them. They're so grown up" Jasmine marvelled at a picture of Maeva and Evelina in Hamburg.

"And evil. They are demons" Louis added fondly, thinking back about the dinner. "It's like I blinked and they're almost teenagers".

"It always feels like time is slipping through your fingers like sand and there is nothing you can do about it. You can only enjoy every moment for as long as possible and make memories" Jasmine stroked her hands through his hair affectionately.

"Yeah, time and memories are priceless" Louis enjoyed her touch.

"Wise words" Jasmine smiled at him. "So, how's everyone else?".

"Good. Àmbar texted me earlier that Aria and she arrived safely in Greece and Sean and Niall are in Spain for a week".

"Now I wanna fly away too. Wanderlust is kicking in" Jasmine noted longingly. "With Sean in Spain, does that mean Harry is running the doctor's office alone? Oris it closed?".

"I don't know, to be honest" Louis bit the inside of his cheek.

"Oh, have you not talked to him yet?" Jasmine sounded genuinely surprised and Louis didn't know how to escape this.

"We talked two days ago on the phone. His sister is pregnant" Louis let her know tensely.

"That's amazing" Jasmine's face lit up in excitement. "He must be so excited and happy for her".

"I guess".

"What do you mean you guess? Didn't you say you talked about this? What's the matter, Honey?" Jasmine lifted his chin up.

"I ... it's ... Apparently, he is still with Josh after he caught him with someone else and I don't understand why but I fear Josh tricked his way back into his life. He's pretty good at gaslighting people and making them feel like they are the problem" Louis opened up to her because he needed to get this off his chest.

"He caught him with someone else? What happened?" Jasmine frowned concernedly.

"Josh came into the restaurant before we went on vacation and he was with another guy. It was pretty obvious that it was a date but he claimed it wasn't. I texted Harry that day and asked him to come over to see for himself and he did. It ended kinda messy and Josh got kicked out and didn't even pay and I ... Harry was really down and I thought they had broken up but on the phone, he told me they were in London together for a weekend trip, so ...".

"All of that sounds kinda fishy to me" Jasmine marked carefully. "I told you I heard some fishy things about him around the hospital and I fear Harry fell into his trap. He's two-faced".

"By now, that second face is his only face and Harry doesn't seem to care" Louis pointed out bitterly.

"Buttercup" Jasmine caressed his face, sighing heavily. "Are we still pretending that you don't like him and you're not jealous?".

"I don't like him, Mum. I think I ...".

"Louis, come on" Jasmine groaned frustratedly. "Just admit it".

"Mum, I ...".

"Don't say you don't like him" She cut him off. "It's so obvious. It's written on your face and reflected in your eyes every time someone says his name. It's not a crime to like him ...".

"Mum, you didn't let me finish" Louis took a hold of her hand. "I do not like Harry and that isn't a lie because I liked him two years ago. When we met, I was instantly attracted to him and felt drawn to him. I was intrigued and curious. I wanted to get to know him and learn everything there is to know about him and even more but I didn't let myself have that and by now, I think it might have been the biggest mistake of my life. I was stupid to think I would ever get over him. I ... Right here at this moment, I'm afraid I might actually love him, Mum. And I lost him without ever having him".

"Oh, my baby" she pulled him into her arms, hugging him tightly.

"It's fine. I'm fine, most of the time" Louis assured her with a heavy heart. "It only hurts when I see him with Josh because Josh really isn't what I wanted for him when I pushed him away".

"I'm one hundred per cent certain that Harry does not love Josh and that it won't last. From what you and the girls told me about him, he deserves so much more. He deserves someone like you, Sweetheart. And I'm pretty sure he still likes you" Jasmine stroked over his jawline gently. "He'd be stupid not to".

"I don't think so, Mum. And even if, he deserves the best and that isn't me. I don't fit into his world. He's so out of my league a ...".

"Louis William Tomlinson, I don't ever wanna hear that again" her expression turned deadly serious, making Louis swallow in fear. "You are a wonderful human being and he'd be lucky to have you in his life. Money and status don't matter when it comes to love".

"But why would he choose me if he could have anyone? I can't offer him anything. I will never make as much money as him and I will never be able to afford the things he can buy in his sleep and ... the people around him would look down on me and through me, on him as well. I don't want that for him" Louis felt the need to cry.

"This might sound tough but it's not your decision to make, Love. He has a say in this as much as you and if he wanted to be with you and face all of those obstacles then ...".

"But he doesn't" Louis stopped her right there. "He is with Josh, who fits into his world. He's a highly-regarded charge nurse and knows his way around that society. They're not even but still".

"He's also a shady bastard, who apparently cheats on Harry" Jasmine looked pointedly at him, making him groan. "I'm just saying if they break up and there might be the chance for the two of you to give this a try ... don't throw it away only because you think you're not enough for him. He might think otherwise".

"I'll keep that in mind if that ever happens" Louis promised her.

Feeling like the conversation was over, he said goodbye to her and got going, drowning in the feeling of finally admitting his love for Harry out loud to someone, even though he didn't plan on ever acting on it. No, that would only hurt him even more. Josh was still Harry's boyfriend and that spoke volumes. No more words needed. Harry obviously wasn't into him and that was fine.

Still, Louis cared too much about him to let him get played by Josh and that's why he took out his phone and dialled Harry's number when he was safely seated in his car. For a few seconds, it was ringing and Louis thought he wouldn't pick up but then a clicking sound was heard but no words. "Haz? Hi, it's me. I wanted to ...".

"Fuck off, Lewis" Josh's voice sounded through the phone angrily. "Stop calling my boyfriend, you twat. He's with me. Get that in your thick scull, bastard! Piss off and stay away, okay?! He doesn't ...".

Suddenly, he was cut off and Louis heard some murmuring in the back before Harry's strained voice was coming through the phone. "Sorry, Louis. I talk to you later, okay?".

And just like that, the line went dead and Louis was left staring at his silent phone. Befuddled, he let go of it and started the car to drive over to the hospital and meet Kayla. This overly strange moment was pushed to the back of his mind for now. It wasn't worth freaking out over. Hopefully, Harry put Josh in his place.

Parking the car in the hospital's parking lot, he got out and made his way inside. On his way to the locker room, he greeted some people he knew but was mostly ignored by the usual professions. All of this strengthened his decision to never act on his feelings.

Inside the locker room, Kayla was already changed into her costume. "You're late. You're never late. Are you alright?".

"I'm good. Just a weird phone call. Give me a minute" Louis started undressing while simultaneously opening his back.

"You wanna talk about it?" Kayla offered an open ear.

"Not really. It's not worth it" Louis waved the matter off.

In record time, he got changed into his clown costume and left the locker room with Kayla to get to work. Today, they were on to pose as clowns at the children's clinic in the hospital. For them, that meant making injured and sick kids laugh at their stupid jokes and creating different shapes and animals with balloons to make them smile and forget about their pain for a few moments. It filled Louis' heart with warmth and love every time and sharing this with Kayla made it even better. Like this, they had bonded on their own and not just through mutual friends. They had something in common.

Visiting every single child took them almost three hours today. Sometimes they were done in under two hours but other times, it took them even longer than today. It depended on sheer luck. When they made their rounds, some kids weren't in their rooms because of check-ups or surgeries or because they were taking a walk around the building to jump-start their immune systems. That always meant they had to come back to that room when the child was back, which could take forever. But they didn't have forever.

After they changed back into their normal clothes, they talked for quite some time about everything and nothing until Maribel showed up to pick Kayla up and drive them home. Waving goodbye to both of them, Louis also made his way home. His mother would bring the girls over after dinner, so he didn't have to drive back and forth so much and like this, he had a bit of time for himself.

But life seemed to hate him because in the entrance area of the building he ran into Harry and Josh, who were just about to leave. "Oh. Hi, Louis".

"Hey" Louis didn't know how to act because he wasn't sure on what terms all three of them were. "Um ... I should go".

"Okay" Harry seemed unsure of what to do as well. "Is that a clown costume in your bag?".

Glancing down at where part of his costume was peaking out of his bag, Louis shut his eyes in annoyance. Of course, this was happening to him right now. "Um ... yes, it is".

"Why the fuck are you running around with a clown costume? It's not carnival time, Lewis" Josh snorted at him degradingly.

"Oh, you don't say?!" Louis gasped faux-shocked, making Josh glare at him. "I just came from the hospital actually".

"What the fuck were you doing at the hospital? Got lost?".

Ignoring Josh completely, Louis dared to look up at Harry, who was staring at him in something like wonder and disbelief and maybe even fond, which made Louis' cheeks heat up. "Kayla and I were up this week. We're on clown duty twice a month".

"Clown duty? That sounds dumb" Josh spat ignorantly.

"So, in your free time, you come to the hospital to dress up as a clown and visit the children?" Harry asked in awe, causing Josh to look back and forth between them furiously.

"Yeah, I ...".

"Does your waiter job not get paid enough to survive or why would you willingly make extra money by looking like an idiot?" Josh cut him off harshly. "I mean, I knew you didn't make much but ...".

"It's honorary" Louis was so done with him. "I do this voluntarily and unsalaried, Josh. Some people do that".

"Why would you do that?" Josh grimaced in disgust.

"To put a smile on a child's face" Louis mumbled insecurely.

"I think I'm gonna be sick" Josh gagged over-dramatically.

"They are sick, you know" Louis would lovingly kill him.

"Yeah, whatever" Josh waved him off, taking Harry by the hand. "Have fun with that. H and I were about to head to ...".

"Don't let me stop you" Louis didn't even glance at them anymore when he walked over to the elevator. He was done with them.

"You could never" Josh hissed unnecessarily.

"Lou, I ..." Harry looked torn when Louis faced him grudgingly. "What you do is amazing. I'm sure the kids love it".

"They do" Louis tried to make sense of him but came out empty.

"Well, we're gonna go now. Have a nice evening" Harry got dragged away by Josh, who glared at Louis threateningly.

"Yeah, whatever".

Thankfully, the elevator doors opened and he could flee inside. He had been so close to murdering Josh. That guy was unbelievable. He lacked everything Louis had thought Harry wanted from a man. Empathy, for example. A social streak, love for children. Kindness in general and warmth but then again, it didn't matter. At the end of the day, Louis really didn't know Harry at all.

Inside the safe walls of his flat, Louis decided to call Luke for advice. He needed something. "Luke, hey. Can you talk?".

"Sure. What's wrong, Louis?" Luke sounded immediately worried.

"Josh. He is ... Is he ... I mean ... Do you think he is so mean to me because he is jealous? Or worried Harry might leave him for me? Or is he just mean in general? I've reached my limit".

"From what I've seen, Josh seems to be a very unpleasant person in general, Louis. He isn't only mean to you but ..." Luke trailed off.

"What is it?" Louis hooked when Luke fell silent.

"I saw the way Harry looks at you, even when Josh is right next to him. There might be some jealousy in the mix" Luke told him.

"But there is nothing between Harry and me. There is nothing going on" Louis reminded him puzzled, ignoring his own love for the man. "Besides, Josh surely doesn't love him, only his money".

"I'm afraid you're right about that. He loves to show off Harry's money, mh? That rubbed me the wrong at Aria's birthday" Luke didn't make him feel any better about this situation.

"It was odd" Louis had to agree with his friend. "And just a few minutes ago, he was the worst and Harry was just standing by. I don't know what to think. Maybe he's okay with Josh being that way and maybe even likes it ... somehow".

"You don't actually think that, right? That's bullshit. He's too nice to be okay with that behaviour. I don't understand why they're still a thing but only Harry knows that. You could ask him, Louis" Luke suggested idiotically.

"You want me to ask him why he's still with his dick of a boyfriend, who is mean and horrible to me and his friends? Sure, that's a great idea. He won't hate me at all after that. It's not like he chose Josh again after he cheated on him. Maybe his dick is so b ...".

"Wait, Josh cheated on him?" Luke exclaimed in horror. "I didn't know that. That changes everything".

"Obviously not, Luke. They're on a date right now although Josh was being mean to me right in front of him. He didn't care" Louis had to disappoint him, trying to sound unaffected.

"I'm sorry, Louis. I wish I knew how to make you feel better" Luke sighed heavily. "I know he means a lot to you".

"He's a good friend, yeah" Louis cleared his throat, knowing he wasn't convincing anyone. "But if he chooses Josh over that good friendship, then that's it. I can't force him to keep me in his life but I won't stay around if Josh stays".

"Are you sure about this?" Luke checked concerned.

"Yes," Louis confirmed surely. "I won't let Josh put me down every time we run into each other. I don't want him in my life but he is part of Harry's life. I ... I guess if Harry stays with him I have to let go of him, at the end of the day. I don't need that negativity".

"You deserve better, yeah" Luke was sold. "I only want what's best for you, Louis".

"Banning that snake from my life is what's best for me. I don't want his mind games and lies and digs and taunts anymore. I deserve better than that and Harry ... he hasn't been in my life for that long. If I have to cut him off to feel better, then that's it" Louis felt like crying because he didn't want to push Harry away again.

"Whatever you want, Louis".

"I'd love for him to stay around but I don't want Josh near me or the girls. He looks down on me and doesn't keep it a secret. The girls shouldn't be close to him, which means Harry can't look after them anymore. I can't trust him to keep Josh away" Louis had to face reality, no matter how much it hurt. "Not that Josh would allow him to still babysit them anyway".

"What if he gets rid of Josh right now for treating you like shit?" Luke asked surprisingly, making Louis' heart hurt with the truth.

"He isn't".

Zayn's POV

When Liam had told them that he wanted to do something totally different for his birthday this year, Zayn had expected everything but not to end up in a karaoke bar with their closest friends. Today felt like a fever dream and it had barely even started. Right now, he was sitting next to Liam and opposite of Louis in a corner booth that was facing the stage, where Maribel and Kayla were belting their hearts out to a song called Addicted To You.

The drug that I need is the time that we spend

And I know you will always be more than just a friend,

No matter how many times we call it an end

My friends say I should leave you but I can't

Cause I'm addicted to you, Baby

While they were still singing, Niall walked into the bar with Sean and Harry in tow and Zayn could hear his incredulous voice when they approached their table. "But why a Mercedes? What happened to your Audi?".

"Nothing" Harry replied simply, causing all of them to look up and listen t otheir conversation in pure curiosity.

Sean and Niall exchanged an odd glance behind Harry's back before walking passed him over to the table. "Did you know that he bought a Mercedes? Like today? Out of nowhere?".

"How could we have known that, Nialler?" Zayn asked him in sheer disbelief, not being able to process these shocking news.

"What do I know? Maybe you saw his car earlier or something ...".

"And I should have magically known that it was his?" Zayn tilted his head to the side crookedly.

"Give me a break, Zayno" Niall groaned over-dramatically. "So, can anyone let us in now?".

"Help yourself, Nialler" Louis stood up with Aria and let them slide into the booth just as Maribel and Kayla were coming back.

"Girls, that was amazing. Absolute madness. Freaking sick" Aria complimented them impressed.

"Thank you. We tried our best but singing is not our thing at ...".

"Bullshit, Kay" Louis waved her off. "That was a bloody brilliant performance. No one wants to hear people be able to actually sing like Beyoncé at karaoke".

"Which doesn't mean you sounded bad" Aria added quickly.

"Of course not. I never said that" Louis frowned in fear that he might have insulted them by accident without meaning to do so.

"We know, Tommo. It's all fine" Maribel reassured him undulating.

"Are you gonna sing tonight, Tommy?" Zayn rubbed his foot against Louis' leg under the table to get his attention.

"Maybe. Are you?" Louis reciprocated the question curiously.

"I might. Let's see who else is ready to embarrass themselves first and then I decide" Zayn swallowed at the thought of actually going o nstage in front of all these people. His anxiety was shaking.

"For that, we need more drinks".

Ordering drinks for everyone took quite some time but somehow they managed. When all of them were one drink richer, they started chatting loudly and all mixed up with each other. It was a mess but Liam was smiling blissfully and that was enough for Zayn to just let it all happen naturally without worrying about anything anymore.

The only thing that did worry him was whatever the hell was going on between Louis and Harry because they were strictly ignoring each other and not once acknowledged each other's presence. But Zayn could see Louis glancing over at Harry over and over and over again in such a wistful and longing way that it was breaking Zayn's heart. Harry, on the other hand, didn't look at Louis once. Whatever was going on had to be massive and drastic.

Tracing his toes up and down Louis' ankles, he somehow managed to make him look over in question. Relying heavily on their platonic soulmate connection as a way of communication, he only threw Louis a questioning look and he could see on Louis' face that he immediately knew what Zayn was asking him. Catching Zayn's foot underneath the table with both of his feet, Louis just shrugged and made an exaggerated gesture with his eyes that ended in him rolling them in annoyance but sadness was definitely swimming in his eyes. Wordlessly, Zayn reached across the table and took a hold of Louis' right hand, caressing it in silent comfort. In return, Louis offered him a brave smile and that had to be enough for now but then Liam noticed their interaction confusedly.

"Is everything alright?" he asked them worriedly, gaining literally everyone's attention around the table including Harry.

"Of course. Can we not be cute together without something being wrong?" Zayn intertwined his and Louis' fingers showily.

"No, of course, you can" Liam blushed embarrassed.

"But why are you being cute? Is that just a Zouis thing or is there a reason? A little love affair?" Niall hooked mockingly.

"Been there, done that" Zayn shrugged nonchalantly.

"Why?Jealous?" Louis shot back at Niall skilfully.

"Duh, obviously. I want you to myself. Why do you think Maya isn't here?" Niall retorted equally as teasingly.

"Because she's visiting her parents?" Louis pursed his lips smugly.

"Uh, busted" Zayn cackled idiotically.

"I get it, okay?! Nothing comes between Zouis. I'll stop trying, lads" Niall threw his hands in the air in surrender.

"But stop the cuteness or he might die" Sean sniggered nastily.

"Oh, piss off!".

"Why don't you try to surpass us? Be cuter than us, lads" Louis challenged them provokingly.

"That mission would be doomed to fail and you know it" Niall snorted unimpressed. "We can never be cuter than you two".

"You might if you sing together. Joey and I won't do that" Louis grinned innocently at them with mischief sparkling in his eyes.

"You won't?" Sean checked genuinely surprised.

"Nope. No serenading on our side today" Louis shook his head.

"Not to each other at least" Zayn muttered under his breath.

"Mh, that might be our chance. What do you think, Niall?" Sean considered that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

For a split second, Niall seemed very absent-minded but then he came back and nodded eagerly. "Let's do this, O'Kelly".

"This is gonna be fun".

With Sean and Niall busy choosing a song for them, Zayn was able to catch Harry staring at Louis with an unreadable look on his face. The first time he had seen this look tonight was when Niall had mentioned the two of them being cute together. Could it be jealousy? That wouldn't make any sense. He was the one with the rude boyfriend. He was the one acting like Louis didn't exist.

So, why was he staring at him now without blinking once? Why could he not keep his eyes off of beautiful Louis out of the sudden? And why did his entire face turn crimson when Louis caught him?

Giving up on trying to understand his reasons, Zayn focused on Aria, who was talking to Bailey across the table. Without Maya and Àmbar being here they both seemed kinda lost at points, so it was nice to see them getting along on their own. But with Bailey here, Zayn's doubts were coming back. She was sitting next to Liam and they seemed to be getting along really great when they weren't talking to other people. And he knew Liam had said his crush was gone but spending so much time with her could undo that erasure.

Thankfully the clapping of the other people in the bar tore him out of his depressing thoughts and averted his attention onto the stage, where Sean and Niall had started to sing Holiday Love Affair. Their performance was funny and goofy and all over the top but there was something else. Something Zayn couldn't place yet.

It's over. The summer was our time and you have been mine

But now winter is coming back and our love is frozen

It feels like a hangover and what we had is broken

It's not like I don't care, I hope you're aware

But what we had was only a holiday love affair

"Can you top this?" Sean challenged Louis as soon as they were off the stage.

"You can bet on it" Louis was out of his seat in a heartbeat.

For all it was worth, Louis definitely had Harry's attention now. He was full-on staring at him, following every single movement as if he'd miss something if he blinked. When Louis stepped on stage and the music started playing, Harry stopped breathing and Zayn was just so confused, angry and worried at the same time. Especially with Louis choosing this song for his performance.

Please, don't look at me this way

Or your hurt-filled eyes will make me wanna stay

If you told me to, my heart wouldn't hesitate to obey

But to save my sanity, I need to leave you standing in the hallway

I always thought meeting you was fate

But I was so wrong and ended up writing this song

Cause I'm tired of being strong

Tired of pretending I'm fine

And brokenly sipping on a glass of wine

For years, I wanted you to be mine

Wished that you stayed

Now you come around and say you love me too

And I'm sorry if I'm now the one hurting yourselves

But it's too late, I can't love you a second time

Now you're here, asking for a second chance

Trying to make me crack by mentioning our prom dance

Should I remind you of what really happened, my dear?

That you ended up in your past boyfriend's bed without your pants

Not even sparing me a single glance when you left

leaving behind an aching feeling in my chest

And now I should feel blessed

And pretend with you I was at my best?

No, thanks. I was only depressed

Looks like you failed the test

I'm with somebody else now and he is perfect

I shouldn't even allow this conflict in my heart

But you still have that effect on me

I really wanna be finally free

I feel like a drug addict, losing all my self-respect

Because I won't be able to ever fully reject you

Why couldn't you love me from the start?

Was it really that hard? Was are you so hard to forget?

Sometimes I wish we'd never met

But it's a wish I always regret

It's still too late but I wish I could love you a second time

Zayn could hardly look away from his best friend and just knew he wasn't the only one but no one else knew Louis' connection to this song. It was from a TV show they all loved called the Fake-Dating thing. Two childhood best friends and a big mistake. A chance at love and a ruined friendship. Crossed lines, betrayals, hurt feelings, bravery and love declarations. Louis had always felt oddly connected to the one main character and it pained Zayn more than he had ever admitted out loud because Lucas was insecure and felt not good enough and got hurt time and time again by someone who was supposed to love him. It scared Zayn.

"Louis, that was out of this world" Niall whistled starstruck. "Is there anything you can't do? You sound like an angel".

"Thanks" Louis blushed shyly, sitting back down next to Aria.

"No one will ever be able to top that" Niall was in love now.

"Maybe Harry can top him" Sean marked thoughtlessly.

"What?!" Harry shrieked horrified while Louis' eyes grew huge and his entire face paled at Sean's words. Zayn and Aria choked on their drinks and Niall started laughing like a maniac. Liam looked panicked while Bailey seemed a bit lost on why Maribel and Kayla looked almost a bit angry. What a mess. Poor Sean.

"No!" Sean realised what he had done. "No! Oh, God. That's not what I meant. Fuck, I'm sorry. I was only trying to say that um ... Harry could sing and might be able to ... Fuck, sorry".

"It's alright, Sean. It was an honest mistake" Louis was again being the best person, who ever walked this earth, signalling everyone to calm the fuck down with his eyes. "And not a real suggestion or anything".

"Of course not" Sean looked straight out horrified.

"Good because if, then I'd have to let you down. Sorry, Sean. No one tops me" Louis winked at him jokingly to ease the tension.

"I figured" the tension left Sean's body slowly.

"I'm gonna sing a song now, lads" Zayn stood up from the table abruptly as he saw Harry eyeing Louis weirdly. It was too much.

Bracing himself to face his anxiety, Zayn walked over to the stage and talked to the responsible people, choosing his song. It was another song from the same TV show. There were two songs with the same title but different lyrics. A sad and a happy one. He chose the sad one. It suited his feelings better.

"Here we go".

When I look back, all I see is you

Are you ready for a flashback?

I've been the one to hold you and cherish your

I cared for you but I guess I always knew

That you never wanted me too

I love you unconditionally but your heart was never meant for me

I always put you first, hoped you could love me back

But I was getting completely offtrack

Being the only one to fall is the worst

But I can't blame you. There's nothing you could ever do

In the end, you'll always be just my best friend

Every time I see you with them it breaks my heart

I was the one who dried all of your tears

And fought with you against all of your hidden fears

I always thought in my arms is where you belong

But I guess I was totally wrong

I love you endlessly but I have to set you free, Baby

My whole life I wanted to be your person

Turned out I was more of a pathetic burden

You never spared my broken heart a single thought

Never thought about us in this way till this very day

I wanna go back to the start

And stop myself from getting the feelings I've caught

I wanna go back to being your strong shoulder

Without feeling the need to pull you closer

Can it be over?

"The birthday boy should be next" Louis announced suddenly.

Exchanging places with Liam, Zayn threw Louis a questioning look but Louis only shrugged with a sheepish smile on his face. He was definitely up to something and Zayn was terrified now. He was about to faint when he heard the opening cords of Liam's song. It was the answer to his song, reassuring the other person that they were not just the best friend. That they were more.

Can you remember when we started?

Years ago on the playground

Since then, you've always been around

Held me when I was broken-hearted, dried my tears when I cried

And took away all of the fears I was trying to hide

Now we are older and our words are getting bolder

How could I have been so blind? How did I never notice you've always been the only one on my mind?

You are the one I always wanted to find

It has always been just you and me until the end

While other people get lost in their everyday strife

You keep me at bay, Baby

You are the light of my day, the love of my life

You are my very best friend

You've always been my shoulder to lean on

Cherished me and loved me unconditionally

And I was close to ruining it completely by doing everything wrong

Almost losing you made me realise your arms are the place where I belong and you make me feel strong

And all I want now is for you to come closer

Baby, you could never be a burden cause you're my person

You are my partner, you are my lover, you are my forever

You're the reason for my laughter, You're my happy ever after

"Fucking hell" Niall swore under his breath at the end.

Zayn could only agree but he wasn't able to do anything. He was openly gaping at Liam and trying to process what just happened to him. This couldn't be real. Something like this never happened to him. To others maybe but never to him. He wasn't one to receive big love declarations in form of songs in a karaoke bar. Nope.

"Budge up, Love" Liam placed his hand on Zayn's shoulder.

Making room for him in a trance, Zayn couldn't stop looking at him, which caused Liam to face him with soft eyes. Zayn's brain short-circuited. "I loved it, Li. I mean, you were amazing".

"So were you, Z" Liam smiled tenderly at him.

"I love karaoke" Aria broke the silence around their table.

"It's definitely something" Kayla noted tentatively.

"It brings out the truth" Bailey pointed out observantly.

"Cheers to that" Louis toasted with her, a tilt to his head.

"Is this how you pictured this go down, Lima?" Maribel asked him.

"Not really, to be honest. But I love to be wrong and get surprised with something even better" Liam softly wrapped an arm around Zayn'swaist, sending Zayn's heart into a frenzy. "I'm really glad you're all here. It makes me forget how sad my birthday normally is and how much I hate celebrating it".

"Why is it normally sad for you?" Bailey frowned deeply.

"My family and I are not that close after I dropped out of uni in my last year. I broke off any contact and mostly, that's alright but on this day it's always kinda hard. Even after all these years" Liam opened up to those who didn't know that already. "My mother did send me a short text today. Just a happy birthday. Nothing else".

"That's horrible" Bailey gasped in horror. "You are still their son. It shouldn't matter if you finished uni or not. It was your decision and not theirs. Uni doesn't define people".

"I know that but they don't. My family is pretty wealthy, so when I decided to not finish my business studies, they freaked out. I was practically disowned and I couldn't care less but some days are harder than others" Liam sighed out shakily, so Zayn pulled him closer into his side for comfort.

"I'm sorry, Liam" Sean voiced his sympathy.

"I have you now and that's more than enough. I found a better family on my own" Liam smiled at Zayn and Louis lovingly.

"And you'll always have us" Louis assured him emotionally.

"Always and forever" Zayn squeezed his waist. "No matter what".

"No matter what" Liam repeated his words dreamily.

"You won't get rid of us either, Liam" Niall let him know honestly. "You're stuck with us now. We're the weird cousins".

"I never had those before" Liam laughed tearfully.

"Now you do" Niall smiled at him.

"And Peaches and I are the crazy aunts but you knew that already" Aria cracked a joke, knowing Liam was close to crying.

"I wouldn't want it any other way, Ari".

"How about a group song for our birthday boy? In his honour" Sean suggested high-spirited. "From his family".

"Your brain comes up with the best ideas, Seanie" Niall ruffled Sean's hair as if he were a child or a cute dog.

"I'm in".

"I think we all are, Kay".

"Um ... could you excuse me for a second?" Harry cleared his throat awkwardly, phone in hand. "I have to pass. I need to take this. Outside. I'll be quick".

Because they were all already standing up anyway, it was easy for Harry to slip past them and flee outside to take his call. Zayn just knew that was Josh and it annoyed him endlessly. Not even one evening could pass without Josh inserting himself in some way and no one was saying anything but they were all thinking the same. Harry needed to put him in his place or leave.

Instead of letting that ruin their mood, they all went on stage together to sing a song for Liam, who was beaming as bright as never before and Zayn couldn't look away. With all of his friends, he sang at the top of his lungs and hopped around on stage. People were cheering for them or screaming along and it was perfect.

"Thank you, guys. I love you a lot" Liam thanked them tearfully when they were done, pulling Zayn into his side as the only one.

"And we love you, Liam".

"Wanna sing another song with me?" Maribel nudged Kayla's side promptly and over eagerly. "I'm too drunk to sit still".

"Let's just do this" Kayla gave in with a long sigh.

"He's back" Sean rested his chin on Niall's shoulder.

"Sorry, guys. That was Josh. He stopped by our place and was confused why I'm not home because I forgot to mention this party, so he isn't really h ... It doesn't matter. You don't care anyway. I um ..." Harry rambled unthinkingly. "I better go, guys. You don't need me here anyway, right? You're about to leave soon?".

"Probably" Sean clicked with his tongue spitefully.

"Great. Um ...".

"Just go, Harry. Go and reassure your boyfriend that we're not stealing you" Niall huffed annoyed. "God forbid you have friends".

"Niall, that's not ...".

"It looks like it to me" Niall didn't let him speak. "But whatever. Like you said, we don't need you here anyway. Go, have fun".

"Niall" Sean tried to reach for him but Niall just headed for the toilets. "I better go after him. Bye, Harry".

Harry looked like he was on the verge of crying but right now, Zayn didn't care. This was on him. It was his decision to ditch them yet again for Josh, who obviously wanted to separate him from anything and anyone who wasn't connected to the hospital. For what reason, he didn't know and didn't care. But he cared about Louis, who looked right out miserable, trying to hide it.

"Sorry, Liam. I didn't mean to ruin your day. I ... Happy birthday again" Harry apologised before he left with a hanging head.

"I need air" Louis brought out and disappeared, sneaking out the back door alone.

"I ...".

"I know. Follow him" Liam just knew. "I'll be alright".

"You're the best" Zayn cupped Liam's face, kissing his cheek.

Trying to keep his cool, Zayn followed Louis' steps and was met with him leaning against the wall of the bar with his eyes closed. Mindfully, Zayn settled in by his side and felt the need to smoke because it would suit the situation but none of them was smoking.

"I saw you trying to ignore him but you did a shitty job at it, Tommy" Zayn came straight to the point bluntly.

"I know" Louis shuddered out, looking up at the starry sky. "I just can't help myself. It would be better for me to stay away and keep him out of my life as much as possible but ... I can't stop loving him and it's killing me because I don't know him like that and ...".

"You love him?" Zayn blinked at him in shock. "I mean, I knew you were absolutely gone for him but ... Wow, you never said you loved anyone. None of your boyfriends except for me but that's ...".

"Different, yeah" Louis finished his thought. "But yes. It feels like love to me but I don't want it. Especially with him acting the way he does lately. I shouldn't love him, Joey. There is no use".

"You can't control your feelings, Tommy. Even when he acts like a brainless idiot, who is completely controlled by his scum of a shitty boyfriend. And as mad as I am at him for hurting you, even if it's not always on purpose, I'm also worried about him. He is my friend, in a way at least, and I want him to be alright but I don't think he is" Zayn bit the inside of his cheek, hoping he didn't overstep like he sometimes did when he was too overprotective of Louis.

"Me neither, Joey. I think Josh is gaslighting him big time but what if he isn't? What if we only want to see that because ... What if he really loves Josh and prefers him over us? What if he's willingly pulling away from his friends to spend more time with ...".

"For that, he looked way too depressed and heartbroken over Niall being so mad at him" Zayn interrupted his rambling. "He does not look completely happy to me and not just because I'd love for him to choose you and for you to let him choose you".

"But he's never gonna do that, Joey" Louis sounded so sure of it.

"We'll see" Zayn shrugged, his mind drifting back to Liam. "Do you think I should risk it?".

"Definitely. I think you already did and got the perfect response, don't you think?" Louis grinned happily at him.

"Maybe" Zayn averted his gaze to the ground.

"Stay here. I send him out to you, Joey" Louis pushed himself away from the wall, reaching for the backdoor. "Tell him. Risk it".

In those two minutes he was standing alone outside, his heartbeat picked up and made him feel like he was about to die. He was thirty-two years old but his feelings for Liam turned him back into an anxious teenager with their first crush. He thought as an adult it would be different to fall in love. Less nerve-wracking and more relaxed but that was definitely not the case here. It was worse.

"Zayn?" Liam's head peaked out of the door, startling Zayn. "Oh, hey. Louis said you're still out here. Are you okay?".

"I am now. You're here" Zayn felt so sappy and cheesy right now.

Stepping fully outside, Liam eyed him warily. "Is this about ...?".

"Your song, Li" Zayn had to speak now or he would never say it out loud. "Your song up there really affected me. It was ...".

"Your song as well, Z" Liam reached for both of his hands. "I've known you for a long time and I think I know why you chose that song. I know you're bad at expressing your feelings and I struggle with that as well but I hoped with that song you might understand what I'm incapable of saying in my own words".

"Are you saying...?".

"That for me, you will always be one of my two best friends and that will never change?" Liam tilted his head aside with a timid smile, making Zayn's heart race. "Yes, but also that I ... I wish that you'd be more than just my best friend, Zayn. So much more".

"I'd love that, Li" Zayn felt himself starting to smile so hard. "I want you to be my everything, if you have me".

"That sounds marvellous, Z. I want to be your everything because you are everything to me" Liam stepped closer to him.

"You already are".

And when their lips finally touched for their first kiss, Zayn felt like he was dreaming. This morning, he wouldn't have dared to even dream of this and now he was kissing his best friend and it felt so right. This right here was the real deal and it was worth the risk.

"Make my day and be my boyfriend, Z" Liam mumbled against his lips, his breathing heavy and laboured.

"Only if you'll be mine, Li" Zayn could die happily now.

"Of course" Liam kissed him again, making the world around them disappear. "Best birthday ever".

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Is Josh gaslighting Harry?

Louis loves him but doesn't want to act on it. Understandable, right?

But hey, at least Ziam is happy now ;)