Chapter Seventeen

Rose was awake with the sunrise the next morning. She had tossed and turned the entire night and had barely slept a wink.

She was ashamed at the way she had reacted to hearing of Marston's betrayal last night. She should have discussed things with him rationally but she had been so hurt to know that she had trusted him and he had looked at her body without her consent.

So many men had done things to her so many times even though she had begged them not to.

Rose was embarrassed to know that Marston knew what she looked like beneath her clothes. There was nothing beautiful about scars.

The scent of frying bacon reached her nose and Rose felt her stomach growl. Marston must already have breakfast cooking which meant he probably hadn't slept well either. Rose groaned as she got to her feet.

She had to face him.

Rose changed into her black wool skirt and white long necked and long sleeved blouse. The only visible skin was her face and her hands. She also pulled all her hair up tight on her head so not a single long red curl dangled down her neck. Her lungs were burning by the time she finished and so she took a moment to rest.

Grease popped in the kitchen and Marston mumbled something just before a skillet slammed and Langley's laughter filled the air. Rose knew she needed to get out there quick before Marston hog tied the boy.

Marston's gaze instantly fell on her as she stepped from her room. "Good morning, Rose," he greeted cautiously.

Rose gave him a tight smile. "Good morning, Marston."

"Well, I guess I better go out and feed the critters before I feed myself," Langley announced, clearly wanting to escape the tension in the tiny cabin.

He stood from his chair, hugged Rose tight and then darted outside.

"Did you hurt yourself?" Rose asked, when she saw Marston rubbing at his arm.

"I'll be fine," he assured her. "It's just a little bacon grease."

"Do you want some help with breakfast?"

"No, I can take care it. You're supposed to be resting," he replied, never once looking her way.

"If I rest much more, I'll be stuck to the sofa," she grumbled.

The hint of a smile tugged at the corners of Marston's mouth. He carried three empty plates to the table before laying out a platter of eggs, bacon and homemade biscuits.

"Where did you learn to cook like this?" Rose asked, hating the awkwardness between them.

Marston shrugged. "When there's no one around to cook for you, you learn to do it on your own."

Rose nodded and silence fell over the cabin.

"Rose, I'm sorry...."

"About last night...."

They both spoke in unison and quickly stopped speaking. Marston held up his hand as if he were a student seeking permission to speak in class.

"Go ahead," Rose urged before crossing her arms and chewing her bottom lip.

Marston leaned back against the counter. "I'm sorry I looked at you...." He began but then he stopped and shook his head. "No, you know what? I'm not sorry. I'm a red blooded man and you were a naked woman so of course I looked. But looking is all that I did. What I wanted to do was make love to right there under the spray of water, but I didn't."

"You couldn't have!" Rose quickly countered, feeling her panic rise. "I wouldn't have let you! There will never be another man to touch me against my will."

Marston fought back the rising rage within him. He'd suspected that Rose had been taken against her will in the past but to hear it spoken with such fear and pain from her own lips, caused his blood to freeze and boil red hot all at once.

"Rose..." Marston swallowed hard, working desperately to control his temper. "Rose, I would never, never, force you to do anything. You are the only person in this whole world who ever saw me as something other than a bad man. You told me you didn't think I was all bad and I want to believe you... but then you go and say something like that and leave me to wonder if all your pretty talk is nothing but horseshit. It leaves me to wonder if you really trust me at all."

Rose felt her heart fall at the pain she could hear in his gruff voice. He was so strong, so confident and so tough that it was easy to forget how sensitive he was—at least when it came to his newfound goodness. Rose closed the distance between them quickly and stood on her toes so she could throw her arms around his neck and hold him tight.

"I trust you, Marston. I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry!"

Marston was quick to throw his arms around her in return and hold her fiercely. He kissed her hair. "I'm sorry for what you went through," he whispered against her tightly pulled back curls.

Rose pulled away and slowly smoothed out the black wool of her skirt. "I'm sorry I stormed away from you the way I did last night. That was terribly childish..."

Marston shrugged. "I understand why you did."

"I just.. I was ashamed and embarrassed to know that you saw my scars." Rose stared at his feet, unwilling to look up at his face. "I know how ugly they are."

Marston simply stared at her with disbelief. "You're brain addled," he stated bluntly.

Rose rolled her eyes. "No, I'm not."

Marston nodded. "You must be because that was the most brain addled comment I've ever heard and that's saying something seeing as how I've been around quite a few men suffering sun stroke."

Rose nearly laughed before catching herself. "Marston, I'm serious..."

Marston sighed and took her hands, wishing she would let her blue eyes gaze up at him. "Rose, you are a beautiful woman. I wish you could see for one second what I see when I look at you. You're soft, warm, caring, gentle—all the things that I've never known before. I feel like the luckiest man alive just to know that, for some reason, you want to keep me around."

Rose shook her head and she tilted her head up toward him. A tear rolled down her full cheek and Marston kissed it away, causing her to gasp. "I still wish you hadn't seen them," she whispered. "I wish they were gone."

"Duke said something to me once and now I'm gonna say it to you. Don't you ever be ashamed of your scars. Each one of those damn things made you stronger and helped you become the person you are. Now, granted, the person I was back then wasn't exactly something to be proud of, but the person you are is. Look how damn strong you are and what a great kid you've raised. You did that, Rose." Marston stroked her wrist with his thumb. "If my opinion counts, I think that you are a beautiful and desirable woman."

Rose was unable to speak as she stared up at him. What had happened to that cold callous man he'd been just a few short months before? "Are you sure there aren't two men living in that head?" she asked, remembering that he had asked her a similar question all those months ago.

Marston smiled. "There might be," he admitted. "One for you and Langley and one for the rest of the world. Are you okay with that?"

"I'm fine with that," Rose replied, drying her face on her shirt sleeves.

Marston pressed a tender kiss to her brow before taking her arm and leading her to the table. "Now sit," he ordered. "You're supposed to be resting." Rose did as he commanded simply because her legs were protesting the fact that she'd been standing on them for so long.

Marston chuckled and his voice raised. "I'll go tell sir-talks-a-lot that he can stop trying to listen through the door."

Stifled laughter sounded from outside and Rose shook her head. "You knew he was out there?"

Marston sat down across from her, those line around his mouth deepening as his smile grew. "The boy thinks he's slick but you've gotta get up real damn early to pull one over on Marston Jacobs."

***

"Marston there's something we need to talk about," Rose announced the next morning after Langley had eaten his breakfast and gone outside for the day.

Marston nodded, dried his hands on a towel and took a seat across from her at the table. "It sounds serious."

Rose blew out a long breath. "It is."

Marston reached across the table and took her hand. "Tell me about it and I'll fix whatever it is."

"I'm not sure it can be fixed," Rose countered. "If it could I would have done so. Money has been a constant issue since Langston was taken away. I have had to scrimp and save just to keep food on the table and clothes on our back. I couldn't find much work since most people around here assume the worst of an outlaw's wife...I was forced to take a loan from the bank in Millerton and used the home and property as collateral."

Marston snorted as he glanced around. "This place?"

"Yes, this place. It might not be much but it's our home and now the banker who approved the loan, Winston Meade, is demanding his money in full. He's been very patient over the years but it seems his patience has run out. He'll be back any day and if I don't have his money he let me know he'll take our home from us and toss us out in the cold."

"How much do you owe the bank?"

"He says it's three hundred dollars once they add the interest," Rose admitted shamefully.

Marston let out a whistle. "That's a lot of money."

"I know... I didn't know much about money or loans or interest... I feel quite foolish for accepting the terms that I did but I was uneducated and desperate."

Marston growled. "And he took advantage."

Marston didn't even know Winston Meade and he hated him already. Marston thought about the money in his saddlebags. He had three-hundred dollars that belonged to Langley and Rose. Not to mention all the money had had stashed away from his life of thieving and looting. It might not have been an honest way of life but it had kept his pockets lined nicely. He had enough money to keep Rose and Langley fed, warm and clothes for years to come without lifting a finger to make more.

"Langley and I will hook up the cart and go to town. I'll send a payment to that bank and pay off what you owe."

"Marston, I couldn't ask you to do that! I wasn't telling you so you'd pay the loan. I was telling you so you wouldn't be caught by surprise when we end up homeless."

Marston shook his head and released his hold on her hand. "No woman of mine will ever be homeless. Don't you worry about money, I have plenty. You and Langley are my responsibility now and I'll see that you're taken care of."

"Marston..."

"Stop arguing." Marston got to his feet. He came around the table and stooped low to kiss the top of her head. "You don't have to be the rock solid Rose who does everything for herself any longer. You've got me now so let me help."

Rose swallowed hard and nodded. "Okay."

Marston headed toward the door. "Do you need anything from town?"

"No.. Marston, where did the money you're using come from?"

Marston's jaw tightened as he turned his gaze away from her. "Does it matter?"

Rose stared down at her dirty fingernails and shook her head. "No, I don't suppose it does."

"Glad that's settled," Marston grumbled. "You stay and rest. Langley and I will be back after awhile."

Rose watched him shoulder his rifle and scoop up his saddlebags. Rose had tried talking him into unpacking those saddlebags but he said that would feel like he'd cut off his arm. He said he'd been packing them around for most of his life and couldn't see himself not packing them around.

As she heard him call for Langley, Rose sent up a silent prayer of thanks for Marston. She truly had no idea what would have become of her and Langley if Marston hadn't come around when he had.