*BOFURS POV*

Bofur was slowly rousing from his deep serene sleep he had fallen in several hours ago from the intense love making Kili and him had shared together. He could feel the warm body pressed up against his and he speculated if he was imagining things in his sleep. He heard a low groan and realized that he wasn't dreaming this...Kili really was here in his bed...naked. Bofur cracked open his eyes briefly and smiled as he reached out tenderly to draw that sturdy body closer to his ...lightly pressing his erection that had arose in his sleep, up against Kili's rounded globes and nuzzled his nose into those dark tendrils along Kili's nape...breathing in his own unique scent that was intermingled with smell of sex, into his lungs. Bofur was about to try and take things a step further when he felt Kili leaning into his touches when suddenly he felt Kili stiffen slightly and slowly began to ease away from him. Bofur let him move away while pretending he was still asleep...feeling the bed become cooler at the loss of Kili's heat. Bofur could not contain the whimper that slipped out , nor the tear that fell down his face at the sound of the door closing behind Kili as he left Bofur in bed, alone.

Bofur let his tears fall in the seclusion of his room as his heart clenched in his despondency of Kili's rejection of him, even though he knew it was only one night...he still had dreamed it would have been more. He knew he was to blame for this pain inside for Kili had made it clear it was just one night, never promising more than that, but Bofur still took what was offered. He wanted one night to hold close to his heart as the countless bleak nights loomed before him...it was his own fault he had hoped for more than what Kili wanted or could give to someone as common as a toy maker. After a while of wallowing in his regrets at the loss of his fantasy, he got up and headed for the bathing room where he cleaned himself of any remnants of the night they had shared. He slowly got dressed, noticing the bruises upon his hips from Kili's gripping of them in the throes of his orgasm as he became lost to everything else...Bofur softly , tenderly ran his fingers along them as a smile of bittersweet fondness touched his lips at the memory. He wished they would forever mar his skin as a reminder of that night...but he knew like all good things they would fade all to soon. With a deep sigh Bofur left his quarters and headed for his shop...not caring if he had a slight limp in his gait that spoke of how vigorous his experience in the princes arms it had been....trying to not show how broken inside he was feeling at this time to all who saw him.

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1 MONTH LATER

It had been nearly 4 weeks since that night of exquisite bliss that Bofur and Kili had shared together and parted...both feeling lost inside. It seems no matter how either felt, life was determined to go on around them...flowing along a path that both wished would consume them and ease their anguish or just let them go from it's grasp...neither getting their wish until one fateful day their lives took a turn no one saw coming.

Bofur woke with a groan from his restless sleep he had been enduring for the last few weeks...his dreams always filled with the memory of Kili and that one night that left him in tears..aching for more. Take last night for example...his nightly vision had been filled with the remembrance of how good those hands had felt sliding across his sensitive skin...igniting a fire in their wake as they traveled through the lush hairs on his body until reaching a spot that made him keen with pleasure...his over sensitized nipples that laid hidden in their silky covering. One touch upon those responsive nubs had him almost arching off the bed as his rock hard shaft pulsed with his impending orgasm that sat right there at the cusp...moments from tipping him over that edge. Looking up seconds before falling into that delicious ecstasy , he saw Kili's face but it was almost gaunt looking as if he was hallow...as if he was dying and with a scream Bofur jerked awake as his erection wilted from the terrible vision he had. The moment Bofur jolted up from the bed a wave of nausea rolled up his throat, making him tear off the bed and race for the bathroom where he proceeded to retch himself into a shaking mess there. It took him awhile to push down the waves rolling in his stomach as he shakily gasped next to the bowl...praying this sickness will pass by the next morning. Slowly easing his way up, he heard a knock on his door and his cousin, Bifur's, voice resounding through it, drawing Bofur towards the portal of his room. Dragging the door open he saw the signature skunk striped dark hair of his beloved cousin's head..hand poised to knock once again.

"Aye...I'm up Bifur. Uhmm...can you open the shop today for me? I'm not feeling well...enough...to...Oh Mahal!" Bofur gasped out as another wave of nausea crawled up his throat as he gave the man a panicked look and covered his mouth with his hand to hold it in...racing for the bathroom again where he dry heaved intensely since he had emptied everything out of his stomach earlier. Bofur was to busy trying to control his heaves that he didn't realize Bifur had followed him in until he felt the gruff man rubbing his back with sure strokes to help ease his suffering...it eventually did.

"Easy there Bo...I understand. I'll open it for you today. It will be fine." Bifur kept rubbing Bofur's back as he handed him a wet cloth to wipe his mouth and face...then helped the sick man up and back into bed. Bofur crawled back under the covers with a ~Thank You~ and got comfortable ..praying that by the next morning he would be feeling better as he watched Bifur begin to walk away. "I'll let Bombur know your not feeling well. He will probably bring you soup. Everything will be taken care of, so rest well cousin." then Bifur was gone out the door leaving a weary Bofur behind to seek his rest.

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It had been two days since Bofur woke up on that dreadful morning and he was still having problems in the mornings...but only in the mornings, for by lunch time he was feeling chipper and refreshed...even hungry, which confused him. That first day it seemed great by the afternoon he felt good and an appetite ...he was looking forward to going back into the shop in the morning, even telling Bombur and Bifur at dinner that he would, but when morning came Bofur was once again worshiping that porcelain bowl...barely able to move 10 feet from it before losing his stomach. It wasn't till the third day that he began to have a shadow of an idea of what was the cause of his mysterious illness. Bofur had just come out of the bedroom feeling fine...once again...around the lunching hour, his stomach growled in hunger from its empty state when a horrendous smell struck him and almost sent him back into the bathroom. He covered his nose as he went to investigate for the source and found Bombur stirring something upon the stove...humming in enjoyment while he cooked.

"Blimey! What is that smell Bom?" his voice was nasally as he kept his nose pinched to block that awful smell...noticing his brother jump in alarm at Bofur's sudden appearance.

"EEEK! Bofur! Don't sneak up on me! You almost killed my heart with that fright." Bombur clutched his chest for a moment...gasping for breath, before calming himself and chuckling at his brothers apologetic face. "Well, if you must know...dear brother...it's Lamb Stew, your favorite. I figure since you've been sick lately, that you needed something hearty to restock what your body lost and since lamb is your favorite meat...well..here you go." Bombur ladled up a nice bowl full, complete with a hunk of buttered bread on the side for Bofur and handed it to him with a pleased smile on his face that quickly disappeared at the sight of Bofur turning green around the edges, as the smell of the lamb wafted into his nose. Bofur recoiled a step from the noxious smell of the lamb as he attempted to keep from losing the contents of his stomach..unable to ignore hearing Bombur's growl of vexation at his attitude. "Bofur...What's wrong with you? You love my lamb stew." Bombur turned away to set the bowl onto the counter as he groused at his peculiar acting brother. "You know, if i didn't know better I would swear your acting like a pregnant woman...but I know that's not true , because you have not been with any man and you never will because you don't want to jeopardize this family...ever. So what's wrong with my food? Huh?" at Bombur's words, Bofur's face paled as he froze in distress..his mind raced as everything from the last few days began to add up.

The sickness that occurs only in the mornings but is gone by the afternoon...the feeling of tiredness that overcomes him later in the afternoons...and then there was the sensation of his nipples that had recently been tender and sore that was only typical for him once a month. All of this added up to only one thing, but that couldn't have happened to him...could it? Bofur had only ever pleasured himself in the privacy of his room...alone, always alone with nothing but his toys and hands....except there was that one time...with Kili. That night was the first time Bofur had ever slept with another and it seems he had forgotten several very big details...it seems in his haste to spend one night with Kili , he had forgotten it was his fertile time of the month and not using protection to prevent himself from becoming pregnant, which would expose his secret his family had kept for the last 100 years, he was a one of those rare creatures...Bofur was a bearer. As he stood there his legs began to tremble under him and he slowly sank to the ground, not hearing Bombur's voice changing from irritation to one of concern for his quaking brother.

"Bofur? Brother, what's wrong?" Bombur quickly knelt down next to the dark haired man and placed a hand onto his shoulder which snatched the stunned man back to the present. Those hazel eyes peered into Bombur's blues and tears began to form, then fall down his scruffy bearded cheeks...a look of fear and remorse filled that hazel gaze. "Bofur....please tell me what's wrong...please brother." Bombur's eyes reflected his fear even though he had no idea why, he still felt a sliver of fear course down his spine as he saw Bofur's mouth opening and closing rapidly...then finally he found his voice and Bombur wished he hadn't.

"I...I'm pregnant...I think." that one statement had Bombur falling flat onto his backside in shock as he gaped at his brother.

"How? Bofur, how can you be? You've never been intimate with anyone, ever. Have you?" it was those hazel eyes lowering down in shame that made Bombur realize he didn't know everything going on in his brothers life like he believed. "Oh Mahal Bofur. Please say you didn't. Please, brother, say your joking and you really were being careful." there was a pleading sound in Bombur's voice that made Bofur feel humiliation deep inside and he whimpered as tears fell down his cheeks, knowing how much this was going to hurt his family if this secret got out. Bombur didn't hear it as he began to rage in their kitchen...throwing the dish towel onto the counter that instantly slithered to the floor...kicking at a chair as he stormed around in hysterics. Bofur's watery gaze followed his brother around the kitchen until he couldn't witness anymore and buried his face into his hands as he began to sob in them. As he wept on the floor he suddenly felt Bombur there by his side...kneeling upon those kitchen stones as he calmed himself down and tried to comfort the overwrought man. Bombur felt his brother thrown himself into those large arms with a gut wrenching wail of despair. "Shhh...I'm sorry, I lost my temper. It's going to be alright...I'm here for you brother...I'm here." Bombur began to rock Bofur in his arms as he rubbed his back until finally Bofur calmed down into pitiful hiccups. He leaned away as he grabbed the dish towel upon the floor and began to mop up the mess upon his brother's face...giving him a tense half smile.

"I'm sorry Bom. I wasn't thinking. He came to me...I just wanted one night...I'm so, so sorry Bommm.." Bofur wept brokenly as his body began to shake once more...Bombur quickly pulled him back into his arms, crooning words of consolation once more. As they sat there upon those stones, Bombur's mind went back to the day that Bofur came out of his bedroom of their home ,down in the southern Mountain range ,with tears on his face and eyes filled with dread. Bombur rushed to his brother's side to find out what was wrong and that was when everything in their life changed drastically. To the families surprise, Bofur had "presented" as one of those rare group of men called "bearers" that occur very scarcely in dwarven society. Normally a dwarf that can bear children was treated as a treasure since few women were born.....but to the Broadbeam family it was a curse not a gift. In the past bearers were treated as gifts but somewhere down the line it changed into something else ...something darker...now ,being a bearer , was a life condemned to being considered nothing but chattel and property to whomever paid the highest price for the bearers womb...all under the disguise of being called a dowry. In the last 200 years bearers had become scarcer and scarcer, making them sought after and hunted for vehemently..making the poor individuals feel like an animal...to the point that whenever one "presented" he hid from his own family..letting them believe that he had died or something final, so that he could remain free instead of being forced into legal enslavement calling it "marriage". Whenever Bofur had begun bleeding unexpectedly , he thought his life was over, but to his surprise Bombur...then Bifur...both aided him in concealing his condition instead of snitching on him to everyone. Yes, it would have brought the Broadbeam family out of poverty that they were living in, but they knew the cost was to steep for any of them. A life of luxury for them but a life of servitude for Bofur...neither could live with themselves if they let that happen. So that night the three of them left their home and traveled away for awhile ...finding jobs where they could until eventually they settled in the lower part of the Blue Mountains near Ered Luin where Thorin had established his home after his families forced exile from Erebor long ago. To everyone there, the Broadbeam family was a group of refugees themselves just like the royal family..the Durins....none knowing of the secret they shielded from view the entire time. They had become such masters of subterfuge at hiding Bofur's condition that they were even able to fool everyone on the road to Erebor for months...which in many ways was a miracle, but that can happen whenever everyone smelled just as bad as the next person as the road masked his scent from all noses. It also helped that in their travels, before settling in the Blue Mountains, they had discovered some herbs that staved off his monthly cycles, so very little to no bleeding occurred.

Finally Bofur's hiccuping cries eased off and only sniffling could be heard coming from him...Bombur gave Bofur a squeeze and eased away to peer into those hazel eyes as he formulated a course of action for them.

"We need to go see Oin." Bofur's eyes went wide in panic as he shook his head in denial...afraid to speak of their family secret to someone...Bombur spoke softly. "Hey. We need to see him...for the baby's sake. We're going to have to trust in him to keep this secret...we have no choice. It will be alright brother...there is no amount of money that can entice either Bifur or I to accept in payment for you. You are my brother ..my most precious treasure in all of Middle Earth and no amount of gold can equal that....understand that? Nothing is worth the price of your freedom." the sincerity in Bombur's eyes made Bofur believe and with a whimpering sigh he finally agreed to allow Bombur to help him stand. Bombur quickly turned off the stove and began to drag Bofur out the door...knowing if they didn't do it now then Bofur would have found some excuse to put it off till later. It did not take them long to make their way to where Oin was just finishing up with his latest patient...a young blacksmith who thought he was fireproof, which so was not the case despite what he wanted to believe. Bombur deposited Bofur into a chair far enough away in a corner for privacy against prying eyes as Oin lumbered his way towards them.

"Hello. What can I do for you both today?" his dark intelligent eyes peered at the duo there...both obviously nervous for some reason. It was Bombur who spoke up because Bofur seemed to be in some kind of state of shock...still. After a bit disbelieving looks from Oin at what he was being told...those grey eyes seeing Bofur's shock slowly wearing off while Bombur's somber tone painted a gloomy picture of the life they had lived..Oin finally checked Bofur over and confirmed their worst fears...Bofur was pregnant. With deep sighs from all three it was agreed upon by all to try and keep it a secret...but Oin had a few conditions if he was going to do this...Bofur had to swear to see him weekly , not missing a single check-up and do everything Oin told him to do from this point out...otherwise the deal was off. A pair of agreeing nods later and Bofur was sent back home with vitamins, a strict diet regime, and nausea medicine where he promise to do everything he could to protect his child as he lovingly stroked where his child rested safely inside...unsure how he was going to tell Kili about this and not sure if he should.

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~Kili POV~

Kili was sitting down at the breakfast table with his Uncle Thorin and brother Fili...trying to mentally gather his strength to deal with the day. It had been a month since Kili had spent the night wrapped in Bofur's arms and since that day he was miserable. He felt like each day he woke up to face was filled with nothing but darkness and despair..as if each moment he breathed was like there was a snowstorm swirling around him...devoid of light within his soul. Since that day...that moment he left Bofur's bed a cold emptiness settled inside of him, stealing his warmth and his smiles that used to come readily...now being replaced with hollowed indifference and sternness that was foreign to the young archers character. It had become so noticeable that some of his companions, Fili and Dwalin mostly, began to worry for him...never had they seen Kili like this...a scowl upon his lips and glittering brown ice chilling all who looked into them. Both men became so concerned that they went to Thorin to voice their concerns, but he rejected their observations, calling ~A sullen boy having a temper tantrum and causing nothing but drama as he pouted...not to worry, if everyone ignored it then this behavior will pass eventually once he realizes he wasn't getting his way.~ Neither man believed that was the case, but neither was going to be able to refute the King's claim, so both just watched the young man and prayed to Mahal for their beloved Kili to come back to them soon. As Kili sat there eating his breakfast solemnly with a grim look on his face, his Uncle Thorin laid down his fork and folded his fingers before him as he gazed upon his dark haired nephew...clearing his throat briefly then his rich dark velvety voice spoke into the morning quiet.

"Kili." the young man stopped eating and turned his attention to his uncle as the man carried on. "I received a letter last night about your intended. She id heading this way now and will be here in three months. The wedding will commence in four months time...so you need to start preparing your courting gift for her and making the family bead to braid into her hair for the ceremony." as Thorin spoke Kili's face went pale at the implications of his uncle's words. Thorin saw how ashen he went and was about to question if he was alright, but Fili stole his attention with inquiry to get the focus off of his younger brother...knowing something was wrong with his sweet brother and he needed a moment to think.

"Uncle? Why is she coming here and not Kili going to the Blue Mountains instead?" those blue eyes focused on the younger man, thus stalling Thorin's concern for Kili.

"She demanded that she wanted Kili to be comfortable and less stressed out about this arrangement. She feels it would be best to him to make him feel more comfortable if he is surrounded by his family before having to leave us all behind." there was smiles around the table at the young woman's thoughtfulness and concern for Kili's welfare.

"Nadad, you are truly blessed by Mahal to have such a considerate betrothed...caring of your feelings." Fili smiled but it began to fade as he gazed at Kili's face...that dark shadowed jaw clenched even though he was trying to smile at his brother...those brown eyes that normally were warm was hollow looking, chilling Fili with how dead they had become. Fili went to speak of his uneasiness, but Kili quickly stood up with barely a bow and left the room quietly...Fili went to stand to give chase but Thorin stopped him with a hand and a shake of his head.

"Let him go. He needs to get to work on his gifts for the Princess." Fili gave him a incredulous look but sat down...his heart went out to his pained brother wherever he ran off to...knowing as soon as he could sneak away from their uncle he would search out Kili.

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Kili raced for his and Fili's secret spot that no one else knew about...it was a terraced walkway that overlooked the Gray Mountains in the distance with snow upon the ground...his mind was in turmoil as he screamed inside at his uncle's words earlier.

~It's to soon...I'm not ready...Oh Mahal, I'm not ready to handle this yet~

As Kili stood there gasping for breath as anxiety swarmed his body and mind...his legs collapsed under him and a sob ripped from his throat. He didn't know how long he kneeled there, but judging from the build up of snow upon his shoulders it must have been awhile before Fili found him...startling him out of his internal hysteria.

"Nadad. I some how knew I would find you here." Fili leaned down and helped his stunned brother stand up from the ground...gently sweeping the accumulated snow off of him as his crystal blue eyes filled with worry for Kili. "Why are you out here? What is going on with you lately?" he saw Kili look away briefly ..he had to know, he couldn't let him stay silent anymore. "Please Kili...talk to me We always confided in each other...it feels like your shutting me out. Please, Nadad, let me in...especially before you leave me forever." Fili pleaded with him and was shocked when suddenly Kili collapsed into his chest bawling like a child...he quickly wrapped his arms around his distraught brothers quaking body to hold him close.

It was the sound of~ forever~ that tore down Kili's walls he had built up inside and allowed him to finally release his heartbreak from inside to his older brother...letting him comfort him like when they were children long ago. He confessed everything to his brother...that night with Bofur...his love for the dark haired man...the talk he had with Thorin...everything, not leaving a single thing out. Fili listened to his brothers heart shattering and he became outraged at it all...at how stubborn and foolish their uncle was being. He knew, though, there was nothing either could do about this except for him to be there with his shoulder ready for Kili to cry on and try to support him the only way a brother could in this kind of situation...giving Kili his love and understanding he would desperately need for these trials ahead of him.