⚠️Trigger warning ⚠️
As I've mentioned before, this book is heavily loaded with triggering content dealing with anxiety, depression, self harm, eating disorders, addiction and many more. Please read with caution.

“nothing is as it ever looks like —”

"Have you ever wondered what death feels like? What would happen after you die?"

"People mourn, that's what happens. Now get down for fuck’s sake!" Hoseok shouted, his hands clutching his hair in frustration as Migyung stayed on the railing. One leg hovering in the air. She chuckled, turning her head around just slightly. "Why? Are you scared I will jump? Or are you scared of the drama that would follow after I jump?"

Both, he wanted to say but instead said, "I don't want you to give your life away in vain. Things might look bleak now but they won't be forever."

Migyung scoffed. "You can't even admit the truth and tell me to be positive about my future. I hate people like you," she said, her eyes glaring daggers at the man nervously eyeing her. In a swift, graceful motion she pivoted on point, her back now facing the water down below. "You think you are so upright, the model human who prevents someone from suicide. You think it makes you a hero but you know what you truly are? You are nothing but a lying piece of shit who thinks he can tell me what to do with my life without knowing what my life is even like."

Hoseok closed his eyes, taking in her words, piercing through his heart like a poisonous barb that seemed to tell him that's exactly what he was. A lying piece of shit who thought every action of his was good for others, for their benefit when he had no idea what the other person was going through. His words were completely empty.

"You are right," he conceded, "I don't have any right to tell you what to do. Go ahead then, jump. I’ll deal with the aftermath."

"Another flaw of yours among many others," she let out softly, tilting her head to the side, swaying as if to a melody only she could hear. "You are so quick to reach a conclusion, my dear friend. Nothing is as it ever looks like. Never."

She raised her arms this time, moving them, gliding them through the air as if caressing her lover. Her eyes glazed over as if she were somewhere else and not there, on the bridge, on the railing, just a step away from death. But she knew who her audience was, the impulsive, soft-hearted man standing before her who always smiled brightly when he looked at her. He almost reminded her of her sister whom she had lost years ago.

"When I was training with the other kids, we used to play a game," she began just as her feet moved on the railing, never losing balance. "We used to stand on the railing, two facing each other and we would dance." At that moment she raised her arms above her head, her toes coming together as she performed a pirouette, making her audience gasp. It was a delightful sound to her ears, it had been long since she performed for anyone.

"We would show off our best moves, trying to keep our balance," she continued, "until one of us fell down. But no one ever fell in the water, we always had someone to grab on to. We almost got expelled for doing this but you know what the challenges I took against them did?" She stopped then, a little out of breath as she looked Hoseok in the eye.

She spread both of her arms forward, asking help to get off and as if stuck in a spell, Hoseok moved towards her, his hands grabbing hold of her waist as her’s settled on his shoulders. He effortlessly picked her up, holding her close to his body as he set her down on her feet.

"What did it do?" he asked in a whisper as he looked down at her, his brows furrowed.

She brought her face close to his and said simply, "I was the prima, Hoseok."

He let the fact soak in, willing his mind to comprehend the gravity of her reality. It was almost like falling from heaven, for something that wasn't even her fault and yet, she had to get burned because of her fall. She must be living in hell, he suddenly realised but as soon as that thought entered his mind, something else occurred to him as well.

"You lied to me, didn't you?" he let out, his voice expressing the feeling of betrayal he felt. "You said you can’t dance anymore."

She simply smiled as she pulled his cap lower just as a bike rode by them. “Nothing is as it ever looks like, Hoseok.” She pulled back then, breaking the spell, a world of their own they had created in that short time. Hoseok shuddered as he felt a sudden chill travel through him, making him focus on the world around him again.

"I’m hungry," she said nonchalantly, as if the whole conversation, the accusations had never happened. He continued to look at her dumbfounded, still unable to shake previous events, as she spoke, "Do you know a place that might be open this late?"

He just nodded, asking her to follow him to his car. A few steps away, his eyes fell on the bag he had abandoned when he saw Migyung earlier. Picking it up, he checked inside to see the pot was quite alright. With a satisfied smile, he turned to the woman gazing at him curiously.

With his megawatts smile on his face, he gave her the bag which she took with narrowed eyes. "You know, I usually don't accept gifts from guys because most just want to get in my pants. You should feel honoured that I'm accepting this. Don't get any wrong ideas."

Hoseok simply chuckled, raising his hands in the air as a sign of surrender but there was a mischievous glint in his eyes as he said, "It wasn't my intention to get in your pants but if you want, anything is possible. I'm pretty sure my gift will make you shake in your boots."

Migyung made gagging noises, laughing soon after as the man beside her joined in. The mood light and comfortable, she pulled out a small pot, painted in a cheerful yellow and a red ribbon bow decorated with white dots attached to it.

"This is interesting," she noted, examining the pot from this and that angle. "What is it though? Is it a plant?" she inquired, frowning up at him. The man nodded happily and started walking now that he had completed his mission.

"You will have to water it every day," he told her as they walked the short distance to his car. "You will have to take care of it, keep it in sunlight for just enough time and talk to it for its good growth. Think you can manage it?"

Regarding the pot with a narrowed gaze, her lips pressed in seriousness, she nodded. "I think I can manage it. It's me after all. The one and only Kim Migyung," she announced, flipping her dark hair over her shoulder for good measure. It made the man laugh once more as he opened the door of his car for the lady and got in the driver's seat.

"Where are we going?" she asked curiously as they started towards the busier part of the city. Hoseok winked at her, a secretive smile on his pink lips. "It's the safest place for people like me to dine at, especially when I'm with a woman. Wouldn't want to flare up a piece of scandalous news about Jung Hoseok of BTS dining with a former ballerina, Kim Migyung."

Migyung giggled at his antics, shaking her head as she looked out the window. Hoseok was a really nice guy, despite their opposite personalities and vibes. He was easy going and he made her laugh more than anyone in the past few years. It was quite refreshing.

Refreshing enough that she didn't crave any type of drug nor alcohol to feel the euphoria in the past hour.

A/N:

I wrote half the chapter on my laptop and half on my phone. It was after I copy-pasted it here that I realised, my laptop and mobile have different font settings for quotation marks.
I had to edit the whole thing all over again ಥ‿ಥ✌️

Hope you liked this chapter!
Thank you for reading 💓