“wrap me the calmness of your presence.
the butterflies can rest—”

It felt like sweat poured out of every pore in Migyung’s body. Even from the soles of her feet. Little droplets dribbled down from neck to her back. Her light shirt stuck to her body like a second skin. She had drenched through two shirts already and she didn't have the energy to change again.

Hence, she ran a cold bath, stripped out of the single shirt and her panties and sank in the water. Though it soothed her hot body, she wished she could have a hot bath for the ache. She ached all over. There was no starting point nor an ending point to the pain.

The cigarettes helped. They helped numb her mind enough to slip into darkness for a few moments. A few moments of peace as her body and mind struggled with the sudden deprivation of drugs she had become dependent on for the last three years.

She was tempted though, to pick up her phone instead of the cigarette and call her ex, the drug dealer. She could just buy a small bag of weed from him, maybe ten grams? That would be enough. More than enough. Anything to lessen this pain, the hollowness, the nausea.

But she had made a promise to herself.

Therefore, with tears and sweat drenching her face, she let the cigarette in her hand fall into the tub, relaxing her body, letting it go as she slipped more into the water. So far in, her head completely submerged, nothing made it to her ears. She saw nothing and she felt nothing except the coldness and how nice it felt. She felt a little better.

When her lungs started to burn with the lack of oxygen, she lifted herself enough, just enough to be able to take a large gasping breath. Running a hand down her face to wipe away the drops of water from her eyelashes, she leaned back, her chest rising rapidly in an effort to breathe properly.

She was playing a dangerous game, she knew. She had to meet a doctor sooner or later. Even if it was a psychiatrist, she needed help. It had only been four days since she had last drank alcohol, seven since taking any kind of drug. Three years of drug abuse, continuous drug abuse, once a week, sometimes twice or thrice. She knew her withdrawal symptoms were going to stay for a while.

She had no idea what would happen to her next, the symptoms were always unpredictable and she was afraid if things got worse, she would relapse. She already had a strong urge to go down the street and drink the night away but she had made a promise to herself.

She was suddenly brought out of her thoughts when her doorbell rang through her house. The water suddenly started stinging her skin and with a hiss, she got out of the bathtub.

The doorbell rang again as she wiped her body as best as she could, her hair still dripping wet on her back as she pulled on a dark purple silk robe. It was thin but long enough to hide her toes.

The doorbell rang again and this time she pulled the door open quickly.

“What took you so long? I thought something hap-”

Hoseok’s words got stuck in his throat when his eyes fell on her. He opened his mouth again to speak, trying to ignore her wet hair that was creating a large wet patch over the left side of her chest. He tried to ignore the fact that he could see way more of her chest than he had ever. He tried to ignore the fact that he had just seen her erect nipples.

Coughing, the man looked behind her, who seemed completely oblivious to what went through his head. Migyung tilted her head to the side, watching the colour rise from his neck to his cheeks curiously.

When he didn't speak, she took a step back, inviting him inside and said, “I’m sorry for taking so much time to open the door. I was taking a bath.”

“I can see that,” he breathed quickly, choosing to sit down on the sofa in her living room.

She smiled faintly, sitting beside him and folding her legs beneath her as she looked at him. His eyes, however, were trained on the blank tv before him. She didn't think much about it.

“When did you come back home?” she asked.

Taking another gulp, he bravely turned to look at her but quickly looked away when he saw the way she gazed at him, all drowsy eyes and drunk smile.

“This morning. I rested the whole day. After dinner, I thought I would check up on you but you weren't answering the phone.”

“Oh, I see. I’m not really feeling well.”

He turned his head with a snap when he heard that. And that's when he saw how pale she looked and how her collarbones stuck out drastically. Her eyes looked a little red too.

“What… What's wrong?” he asked, now afraid and extremely guilty for thinking the way he had when he saw her.

She rested her head against the sofa, her smile not dimming as she reached her hand out to grasp his. Without a second thought, he entwined their fingers, giving her hand a little squeeze.

“I’m going through withdrawal,” she answered, closing her eyes, and feeling his hand caressing her face. “This is normal for most people. Pain, nausea, flu-like symptoms. There is more but this is all I feel right now.”

Hoseok shifted in his seat, scooting forward till his leg touched her knees. “Did you eat dinner?”

She nodded. “I made some porridge. It didn't taste as good as my mom’s but it's the first meal since Sunday I have been able to keep inside.”

His lips pressed together, he continued running his thumb over her cheekbone, his hand cupping her jaw. “You should dry your hair or you'll get sick.”

She nodded once again but didn't make a move. “I feel so tired, Hoseok. So tired.”

He sighed, his heart squeezing in his chest seeing her suffering. All this time, she had been alone, trying to be strong while he was away. He knew it wasn't his fault, none of it was but he still felt bad. As if he had failed to fulfil his responsibility.

Shaking his head, he got up, making her look up at him weakly. She watched with heavy-lidded eyes as he bent down, and settled his right arm beneath her knees, grabbing her left thigh tightly while his left arm curved behind her back.

In the next moment, she felt the cushions disappearing from beneath her, a gasp leaving her as she wound her arms around his neck instinctively.

“Hoseok, what are you doing?” she asked, eyes wide, body flush even as she felt like she could stay in his arms forever.

He flashed her a smile, shouldering his way into her room and sat her down on her bed. Bracing his hands on either side of her on the bed, he leaned his face close to her and whispered, “You said you are tired and I can’t have you becoming sicker.”

She gulped, watching him and trying to understand his words. When she did, she expected him to move away but she watched him still studying her face. She was further surprised when he bent his head more, getting closer, his nose brushing the side of her neck.

“Hoseok…” she let out softly, her hands clutching his shoulders tightly, her thighs pressing together when she felt his lips touch her hot skin. It was light, so light she could have imagined it but his next words proved she was wide awake.

“I missed you, Migyung. So much.” His voice was low, deep and a little gruff. It made her eyes close and when he pulled away to look at her again, she didn't dare to open her eyes.

She didn't open her eyes till he freed himself from her grip and disappeared into her bathroom.

When she looked through the open door, she saw him looking through a cabinet for her hair dryer. She took that moment to collect herself and pulled her robe closer to her body, tying the knot tighter.

The spot where he had kissed her still tingled and when she saw him coming back she was reminded of how easy she had behaved. She was sure if he had wanted more, she would have given him everything without much resistance. It made her wonder just when he had gotten under her skin so deeply.

But she didn't get a chance to dwell in her mind when Hoseok started his soothing administrations on her. He dried her hair gently with a towel and then used the dryer to make sure her scalp was completely dry before working through the rest of the mass. By the time he was done, she felt lethargic, as if she could fall asleep sitting.

She didn't open her eyes again till he spoke up.

“I should get going. Looks like you are ready to crash.” There was a playful smile on his lips, his eyes twinkled as he picked up his jacket that lay beside her.

She caught his wrist before he could move away though, making him look at her questioningly.

“Stay,” she said, her voice low as if sharing a secret.

“Please,” she added when she saw the denial in his eyes and she knew she had won when he sighed and placed his jacket on her bedside table instead.

Giving him her best smile, she got up, picked up a nightgown and underwear and went into the bathroom to change. When she returned she saw his jacket now folded neatly, set atop a pair of folded blue jeans.

She caught his eyes, his lower half covered by the duvet as he took the right side of the bed.

"I hope you don't mind. Falling asleep in jeans isn't very comfortable," he explained. His eyes darted everywhere except her and it made her smirk as she sat down on the left side, her back towards him.

"It's okay, I understand. Though I don't remember saying anything about sleeping in the same bed."

She looked back with a teasing smile, extremely pleased when she saw his eyes widening and his mouth opening and closing with no sound. He moved jerkily, pushing the duvet away and stood up.

"Uh–I–I'm sorry. I didn't… I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just assumed…" he trailed off, watching her roll her eyes.

"What did we talk about assuming?" she asked with her eyebrows raised. She was now kneeling on the bed, the amber lights casting an ethereal glow around them.

Despite being flustered and fumbling with his words, Migyung thought he was the most beautiful person she had ever met.

She didn't say anything though, just listened and enjoyed him being a mess because of her.

"Right, I'm sorry. I'll take my dumbass out of here and let you sleep," he said, not meeting her eyes as he reached for his clothes. But once again, she stopped him.

"Hey, it's okay. I was joking. I was totally asking for some cuddles when I asked you to stay," she explained, watching the relief flood his face, his body relaxing as he chuckled.

"Damn, woman. You always keep me on my toes," he playfully glared at her, climbing on the bed and kneeling in front of her.

Biting her lip, she looked at him through her lashes as she got under the covers. "I'm sorry but you are so easy to mess with. I like seeing you all red and unsure because of me."

He shook his head, laughing harder as he slipped beside her. Flat on his back, he turned his face to look at her. She had her back towards him.

She wanted him to cuddle her.

Turning on his side, he watched her for a moment, seeing her reaching a hand over to the bedside table and switching off the lamps. The room was immediately shrouded in darkness, a little light filtering through the drawn blinds.

Taking a deep breath, he scooted closer to her and whispered, "Can I hold you?"

"Yes," she whispered back and bit her lip, trying not to make a sound when he put a tentative hand on her waist.

She relaxed her body, getting used to this new sensation. As if used to touching her, he moved his hand more surely, covering her belly and pulling her back till her back hit his chest.

She made a sound then, a sharp intake of breath and he halted, lifting his hand off her. Her eyes widened, knowing he misunderstood her reaction and was quick to pull his hand down, pressing it against her belly and clutching his hand tightly.

"I'm okay," she said, answering his unsaid question and she felt him relax against her back.

He adjusted his other arm beneath the pillow her head rested on. Wanting to get more comfortable, he slipped one of his leg between hers, cautious and gauging her reaction. All he got was a shaky breath and her fingers twining with his.

He smiled against her hair, placed a kiss on top of her head and said into the darkness, "Good night, Migyung."

She hummed, curving her back to fit against him better and he could hear the smile in her voice when she said,"Good night, Hoseok."

~~~~
A/N:

Word count: 2265

I went crazy with this chapter, didn't I? But I think it was about time.

Lemme know what you think of this chapter.

Thank you for reading 💜💜