chapter twenty three
(not edited)

     I WOKE UP TO THE SOUND OF laughter, talking, and silverware banging against itself. I slowly sat up and looked around me to find that I was still in the same place in the middle of the couch. I smiled over to my left as my heart sped up - recalling what happened between May and I earlier - but slightly frowned at the sight of emptiness beside me. Kyle wasn't next to me, either, so I reluctantly got out of bed and followed the noises. It seemed to be coming from upstairs.

     When I exited the basement and walked into the kitchen I was blinded by all the light. I hissed at the pain in my head and shut my eyes as I attempted to rub it away.

     "Good morning, star shine!" I heard May say. I couldn't even smile - the pain was too much. But the throbbing in my head didn't affect the butterflies in my stomach, though.

     "Hey, Ashley!" I heard Kyle say. A few more voices greeted me and I finally opened my eyes to look at everyone in front of me. They were all gathered around the kitchen as Kyle stood at the stove and moved some hash browns around. Everyone from the party was here.

     "Hi." I groaned. Was I the last one awake? "You can cook?" I looked at Kyle and titled my head to the side as I stared at the hash browns. My stomach grumbled.

    "Yeah." He laughed and so did a few others. "I can." He looked over at me and smirked.

     "Perfect dad material." Fernando coughed, grabbing my attention as I looked at him sitting at the table, and picked up a mug to drink. I smiled at him. When I went to look back over at Kyle, I happened to look at May beforehand. We caught eyes and I quickly looked away as I couldn't stop myself from smiling or blushing.

     "Shut up, Grant." Kyle spat. Everyone laughed and sipped some drinks as I awkwardly stood there.

     Somehow I just realized - how in the world was I able to sleep in jeans?

     I furrowed my eyebrows and made my way over to sit next to Fernando. I pulled the chair out and sat in it, not helping myself from glancing over at what was on his phone.

     "Whatcha doing there, Fernando?" I laughed when I looked between the photos of dogs on his screen and his face. He smiled.

     "I like dogs, okay?" He defended himself and continued to scroll through dog photos. I couldn't help myself but to laugh even harder.

     Fernando, the guy who offered me weed when we first met, was looking at pictures of dogs on his phone that weren't even his.

     "What?" Olivia smiled and came over to see what I was laughing about. She gasped. "Dude, did you adopt a dog?" She exclaimed.

"I wanna see!"

"Fernando got a dog?"

"What kind?"

"Is it a puppy?"

Everyone rushed over and crowded around Fernando - I felt crowded, too - and looked at the picture Fernando had on his phone.

"It's not my dog, calm down." He groaned and locked his phone. "I just really like dogs."

I unattractively laughed as my mouth was closed, so it came out somewhat like an elephant sound. I blushed and prayed no one heard me. Thankfully, no one glanced my way or pointed it out.

     I decided I should probably get my phone out, too, so I took it out of my back pocket and looked at the home screen. 12 Missed Calls from Mom. 8 Missed Calls from Dad.

     My heart sped up as I unlocked my phone and went to the phone app immediately. I felt extremely guilty for not letting them know where I was throughout the day. They were probably mostly worried that I didn't even come home last night.

     I gulped and dialed my mom's number before standing up and exiting the room. The living room was much more quiet.

     "Ashley!" My mom picked up on the second ring. "Where are you; we're worried sick!"

     "Don't worry, mom." I answered as smoothly as I could. "I ended up spending the night at Kyle's house." I lied; I still don't know who's house this is.

     "And this Kyle is a boy?" Pause. "Oh, wait, yeah, sorry sweetie, I forgot. But you know you shouldn't be spending the night with guys. Are you okay? Your father and I were so worried."

     "Dad was worried?" I gulped and looked at the floor. The carpet in the living room wasn't really taken care of and I was a little grossed out.

     "Of course, honey, why wouldn't he be?" She asked.

     I shrugged and shook my head. I couldn't think of a response quickly enough.

     "Okay, just tell me where you are and I'll come pick you up. I'm glad you're okay, but you know you have to deal with consequences later, right?"

     "Yeah." I sighed, still thinking about my dad's words. "I'm actually about to have some breakfast, so I'll just tell you when I'm done."

     "Ashley..."

     "Sorry, mom, but Kyle made hash browns. I'll call you back later." I thought about hanging up, but I knew that if I did that she'd be mad that I cut her off.

     My mom groaned.

     "Thirty minutes. You text me the address."

     "Okay, thanks mom!" I smiled even though I couldn't stop pondering on what my dad said to me yesterday.

     We hung up and I ended up staring at the phone screen for a while. I started messing with my case as the words kept repeating again and again in my head - you're a failure, Ashley. I heard you're gay and that's not okay.

     I sighed and decided to ignore it as best as I could at the breakfast table, but when I turned to go back into the kitchen May was standing right at the doorway. My heart sped up just at the sight of her.

     "I was thinking..." She pursed her lips and tilted her head to the side, "that we should get some sort of revenge on your dad and my mom." She smiled. I did, too, but that doesn't mean I agree.

     "I have to talk to my dad when I get home." I nervously took a deep breath in. "I want to change his mind."

     May gave me a look that told me it wasn't worth the shot, but she didn't express that with words and I was very thankful for that. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me as she rested her head on my shoulder and really grabbed me. My heart fluttered at this action as I hugged back and also rested my head on her other shoulder. I closed my eyes and smiled.

     "You're really brave, Ashley James." She whispered.

     "How?" I immediately asked and furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. She pulled away from the hug and stood incredibly close to me as she stared into my eyes.

     "Because I was too scared to talk to my mom about her feelings and now it's one of the biggest things I regret."

     My heart wept for her.

     "If I had talked to her, maybe we still would've been close. But when she told me she was against gay people, that's when I gave up. I broke down and I couldn't go any farther." She slowly smiled as her eyes were watery.

     Instinctively, I ran my hands from her elbows, down her forearms, and ended with my palms against hers. She smiled down at them before she tightly intertwined our fingers. As I was looking at her, all I wanted to do was kiss her. I didn't care that there was a room full of friends in the other room who could see us. I didn't care that we're both girls. I just want to kiss her so, so bad. I wanted to share a kiss with May that wasn't messy at four in the morning and ended with bloody lips.

     When she finally looked back up, I gathered up the courage and leaned forward. Our lips met and I almost smiled at how plump hers felt - it's like a whole new experience at different times of the day. Our lips moved with each other, almost as if they'd done this before, and the butterflies in my stomach multiplied to thousands and thousands of them.

     I have a massive crush on May Parker.

     We pulled away and rested our foreheads on each other's. She smiled and I did, too, as she pulled her hands away from mine and brought them to my hair as she took her forehead off mine and began to play with my hair. It sent shivers down my spine as I bit my lip and smiled.

     "Fuck, Ashley James." She revealed her dimple. "We're going to need to do that more often."

     I blushed, smiled, laughed, fluttered, all at once before nodding my head.

     "Okay." I said meekly and smiled.

*****

When I walked into my house, my mom came rushing to the door and my dad was nowhere to be found. It hurt a little, but I slightly shrugged it off as my mom embraced me into a hug.

"Never do that again, Ashley." She said into my ear. "I didn't know where you were for the whole day."

My heart hammered against my ribcage as we pulled away. I opened my mouth to say something about my dad to her - maybe ask her if she slipped and confessed my sexual orientation to him - but nothing came out. I shyly followed her into the kitchen as I took a deep breath.

My dad was sitting on the couch, watching television, when I saw him over the kitchen counter. He paid no attention to me.

"Hey, Ashley's home." My mom called to him. He didn't turn around, so my mom opened her mouth again, "Hey, Ashley's home." She repeated. I watched the television screen as he simply turned up the volume on the remote.

My heart was shot by the cruelest gunman alive - the pain began in my heart and then rapidly sparked throughout my entire body. I pressed my lips together to stop myself from crying.

"What's going on?" My mom scolded him. She left the kitchen and stood in front of my dad as she blocked the entire television. I didn't want to stay in the room, I really didn't, but my feet were somehow glued to the floor. I couldn't move even if I tried.

My dad simply shrugged.

"Can you move out of the way?" He told her. I gulped and flared my nostrils - I have never been more angry in my entire life.

"Ty." My mom spoke his name like knives were shoved down her throat. "Your daughter is home - safe - and that's all you have to say? What's wrong with you?"

I gulped.

"What's wrong with me?" My father raised his voice. I exhaled a deep breath and brought my fingertips to my head as I closed my eyes. My hangover wasn't completely over yet. "How about you ask your sixteen year old daughter what's wrong with her."

"Ty, what the hell are you talking about?" My mom yelled before looking up at me. I had tears in my eyes but they didn't seem to want to fall out.

My dad finally turned around, and, for the first time he told me he practically despises me, he looked at me with the same loving features I always grew up with. I gulped, only to find that my throat was dry, and tried my best to stare at him without breaking down.

"Mom." My voice was groggy but I didn't really care. "Dad wants me to let you know, I'm assuming," I stared at him, "that I'm gay. And, also, I just want to let you know that dad did check up on me yesterday." I breathed in as a few years fell down my face. "And he told me I'm a failure."

"Ty!" My mom yelled and looked over at the man she married. He looked up at her. "She's your daughter god dammit!" Tears started to stream down her face, too, and that's when I realized this is the first time I've ever seen my mother cry. "How could you ever say that to her?"

"She's gay!" He yelled. "She's not normal!"

"Oh, shut up." My mom spat. "You're the one that's not normal. How could you not love your own child?"

"Did I ever say I didn't love her?" He argued.

Tears rushed down my face as I looked around to find some sort of source of what to do. I had absolutely no clue and I don't know if anything can help us in this situation.

"If you loved me," I yelled through tears and a dry throat, "then you would support me in anything." I sniffed.

My dad sighed and stood up from the couch. I thought he was going to apologize or say that this whole thing was a joke, but he just grabbed his car keys off the living room table and walked past my mother and I as he went out the front door. I stared at the front door in disbelief, shock, hatred.

"It'll be okay, Ashley." My mom sobbed and came in front of me to hug me.

We were a crying fit, my mom and I.

*****

Ah. I'm dead. Absolutely dead and speechless and just... everything in between.

I'm so sorry for this horrible chapter (plot wise and written wise + I didn't re-read it for grammatical mistakes or what not) but I believe that Ashley can get through this. Anyone wth me?

Also, on a lighter note, is there anyone out there who would read another book of mine once this one is finished? If yes, would you want to read about a road trip or a celebrity (that's narrowing them both down quite a lot)?

Also, I didn't win the Watty's, but that's A-OK because no matter what, the support and love I get for this story tops an award by far.

See you guys next week <3