chapter twenty one

     FERNANDO WAS THE ONLY ONE who knew about the phone call I had with my dad. I didn't have time to tell May in the restaurant and, honestly, I didn't really want to tell her. I'm sick of crying all the time around her. I have to be stronger; even if my dad hates me out of nowhere.

Fernando kept a close eye on me as we sat with everyone in the restaurant about an hour ago. I could tell May was curious, but she didn't push it which I was incredibly thankful for.

"So," Peyton started up a conversation as we stared at our empty plates, "Lulu."

"Yes?" She looked up from her lap and smiled at the blonde girl in front of her. May sat up in her seat beside me, so I did too. I glanced over at Fernando and furrowed my eyebrows together - wondering why there's a sudden change in the air between the table - but he simply shrugged and shook his head.

"How has school been? Are you getting any A's?" Peyton smirked. Everyone started bursting out into laughter at Peyton's serious tone except for me.

I couldn't stop thinking about my dad. Why would he call me like that? Why couldn't he have waited until we were face to face? Would I even be able to handle that?

Fernando seemed to notice my dizzy mind because he reached his arm around me and comforted me with a simple hug. I took a deep breath and embraced it for a split second before I pulled away and smiled at him.

"Thanks." I mouthed. He pulled his arm away and nodded his head at me as if he was saying it's no problem. But, the thing is, I don't want a no problem, I want a you're welcome.

     "Any B's, C's or even D's?" Peyton smiled.

     "Oh, we all know she's been getting some D's." Kyle snarled. Everyone roared into laughter, including May and Fernando.

I really wanted to smile and laugh with the rest of the group, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. My heart was heavy and it wept for my dad's love. It seems absolutely ridiculous to me that my very own father, the one that loves me so much, doesn't even accept me anymore? I don't get how that works?

I gulped into a dry throat and that's when I knew I could cry anytime soon. That can't happen.

"Fernando." I leaned over to my right and whispered into his ear. "I don't feel good." I gulped again. I don't think I can be around all these people anymore; I just want to be alone and go for a walk or something.

"Are you okay?" He furrowed his eyebrows and pouted his lips. "I can drive you home if you want."

"No." I quickly shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest. "I don't want to go back home."

"Oh."

I looked up from the floor and stared at the boy beside me. His face looked the same way Mason's did. It was filled with concern and sympathy - the exact look that I never wanted nor asked for.

"I-" I stopped talking and took a deep breath. "I don't..." pause, "Never mind." I looked away from him so fast that he couldn't fit in another sentence if he tried because everyone was going off about something.

"I'm a child of God!" Lulu exclaimed as she leaned forward in Peyton's face and scrunched her entire forehead and nose up.

"Let's not start lying here." Chase commented.

"Oh, shut up." Lulu smiled and rolled her eyes at Chase as de sat back in her seat. "I don't even know why I'm friends with you guys."

I took a deep breath and tried to get my mind off of my dad. Did my mom tell him? Why would she do such a thing? I mean, I can tell him it's a lie. You know, I could go back to Mason and... Oh, my God. Why on earth would I go back to that?

The entire table was filled with a silence and I started to wonder if it was my fault. I looked up from my lap and looked around at everyone, but none of them seemed too intrigued by me. I don't know why I'm thinking that they'd all drop everything to see if I'm okay.

"Do you guys want to head out now?" Georgia Rae directed her question towards everyone. I nodded my head, eager to get out of here and to get my mind off of my dad somehow.

We all shuffled out of the booth and gathered our things before heading out of the door. I didn't speak a word as I stayed close to Fernando on the way to our cars.

"Hey, Ashley." Olivia came up beside me and smiled at me. I smiled back, too, but it was one of those fake smiles that I always practiced after the incident with Julia happened. "You didn't talk the whole time... Are you okay?"

I smiled and simply nodded my head at her.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I lied through a smile. She nodded her head at this, hopefully believing the words I said, before looking back at me.

"Alright, just know that we can talk whenever you want. I'm a really good person to talk to, you know." She smirked. I chuckled at this, actually chuckled, and smiled at her.

"Says who?" Fernando butted into the conversation.

"Says everyone." Olivia shot back and rolled her eyes. "I'm a good talking-to person!" She argued as she laughed.

"Alright, whatever you say." Fernando scoffed at his friend as she retorted back with a childish gesture by sticking her tongue out at him.

     We finally made our way to the cars in the parking lot and that's when I could finally take a deep breath. We're going to Lulu's stake-out point (whatever that means), and it's going to be fun. I mean, it has to be fun. Right?

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

"Surprise!" Everyone screamed a not-so-well rehearsed surprise as we all made it to Lulu's stake-out point.

It was beautiful, really. We all stood at the top of a hill (which was absolutely excruciating to climb up, if you ask me) that overlooked the whole city. It's no wonder that Lulu loves to spend her time out here - I don't blame her. If I knew about this place, I would definitely claim it as my own.

"Surprise?" Lulu took a few steps back and stared at us with a confused face. "What's going on?"

"We heard you got a C and we wanted to celebrate it with you!" Peyton elaborated. Everyone started laughing at Lulu's face; her eyebrows were furrowed and her jaw was hanging open.

"A party for a C?"

"That's what I said." I mumbled under my breath but everyone was able to catch it. A few people chuckled and sent smirks my way.

"Yeah!" Olivia cheered and stepped towards Lulu. "We wanted to motivate you to always do better."

"You guys are assholes." Lulu crossed her arms over her chest and pouted her face at all of us. "I thought this was a birthday surprise."

Everyone froze. I brought my hand to my mouth to keep from laughing, but it was too late. I had already let out a few chuckles.

"Uh, yeah." Kyle said nervously. "That too."

"Does anyone here even know when my birthday is?" Lulu perked an eyebrow up at all of us. I knew I wasn't a part of this, but I still felt nervous. How do you not know your own friend's birthday?

The silence gave Lulu her answer.

"April?" Georgia Rae guessed.

"What?" April looked over at her twin - I can finally match their names with their similar faces - and furrowed her eyebrows together.

"No, not you, April." Georgia Rae rolled her eyes.

"You guys are lost causes." Lulu rolled her eyes and dropped her arms. She slumped her shoulders forward and walked over to a tiny tree that happened to be at the top of the hill as she sat down against it.

"Shit, when's her birthday?" Chase whispered to the group. Everyone shrugged and shook their heads; obviously without any clue at all.

It was May who stepped forward and followed after Lulu, quietly sitting down beside her at the tree. I couldn't help but tilt my head and smile at the girl whom I call my close friend. My heart pounded quite rapidly as I watched her talk to Lulu to help her feel better.

May Luna Parker sure is something else.

"Anyway," Fernando cleared his throat beside me, "how about let's get this party started?"

"Sounds good." April nodded her head and jogged down the hill to get things. Georgia Rae turned to talk to Chase with her lovey-dovey eyes, Kyle kicked a few rocks around, and Fernando and I just stood close together. The sun was going down, rather slowly, and we were just simply making ourselves warm by each other's company.

"Who was that - on the phone?" Fernando's low voice asked from behind me. I took a deep breath and turned around to face him.

His curly hair was getting longer by the day as I noticed how it stuck out in all kinds of crazy directions. His eyes reminded me too much of Mason and I don't think I'll ever be able to get past that.

"My dad." I spoke through a groggy voice. I cleared my throat before gulping down some saliva and turning to look over at May again. She said something that made Lulu laugh, which made me smile as I turned back to Fernando.

He gave me a sad half smile before he took a deep breath and looked down at his shoes and then back up at me.

"Dad's suck." He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "It's not just you."

"Yeah?" I gulped and sniffed my nose. "What'd your dad do?"

"He didn't do anything, that's the thing." Fernando pursed his lips. "He's never done anything."

"Oh." I crossed my arms in front of my chest and awkwardly nodded my head. I didn't know what to say.

"I got the music!" Olivia held a speaker into the air as she sprinted back up the hill. We all laughed at her, including the sad boy in front of me, and shook our heads. By now Lulu and May were away from the tree and back with the group.

     In about seven minutes, it seemed that the conversation I had with Fernando happened hours ago. We were all laughing, dancing, yelling, and partying on top of a public hill that is ten minutes away from downtown. It seemed outrageous, but in a very good way, of course.

     When they brought the keg of beer out, that's when the atmosphere changed. People started getting a little crazier, a bit sloppier, and, all in all, nobody had any idea what they were talking about.

     I was only on my second cup of beer when May waltzed over to me. We happened to be about twenty feet away from everyone else, which only made my heart flutter for a few seconds. It seemed as if we were alone and we haven't even spoken to each other yet.

     "Hello, Ashley James." She sung. I smirked and brought the red solo cup to my lips for a brief second as I took another sip of beer.

     I felt comfortable around this group of people. I know that if anything crazy happens they'll take care of me, and that's all that should matter. I don't have to worry about their judgements because there won't be any.

     I took the cup away from my mouth and smiled at the pretty girl in front of me. The rollercoaster in my body decided it was time for another ride from my head all the way down to my toes.

     "Hello, May Parker." I responded.

     Her blonde hair was tussled around like she had run her hand through it too much and her brown eyes were clouded with some sort of grey color. They were still incredibly pretty, though.

     "I don't want anyone to be sad tonight." She stumbled on her words a little as her mouth found its way into a smile. My heart fluttered when I glanced down at her lips, but I knew I couldn't do that. I immediately looked back up to her eyes as the butterflies kept flying around in my stomach and in my throat.

     "Okay." I responded, "I'm not sad."

     "Okay." She blinked slowly. "Neither am I."

     "That's good." I smiled and couldn't help but look at her stupid dimple on her right cheek. She threw her hand over it to cover it up, obviously knowing that I was staring. "What?" I chuckled.

     "Don't look at my dimple." She pouted as her hand remained on her cheek. "I hate it when you do that."

     My heart almost burst.

     "Well," I cleared my throat, "I hate it when you do that." I teased, referring to the craziness happening in my stomach and heart and neck. I could even feel tingling in my toes and knees.

     "When I do what?" She smiled.

     "Just..." I smiled, "everything."

     "Oh." She laughed and raised her eyebrows. "So if you hate everything about me, why are we even here right now?" She slurred.

     "Because you spilled milk all over me." I pouted and furrowed my eyebrows at her. She took a step closer to me, causing my breath to hitch in my throat, as she slowly made her way to my ear.

     "That wasn't fully on accident." She whispered. My entire body shivered under her breath, almost as if she was putting me under a spell, as my lips curved upwards into a smile.

     Finally, she pulled away from my ear, as she brought her face incredibly close to mine. My entire body went stiff when I realized how close we were - my knees were the only part of me that felt weak.

     "Ashley James..." She smirked and flicked her eyes up to look into mine. My heart pounded as fast as it could possibly go as I prepared myself for what's to happen next. I really want it to happen, I really, really, want it-

     "Guys, there's brownies!" Someone yelled, I'm guessing Kyle, as I shot my eyes open and saw May turn around to look over at the scene.

     "Brownies!" May cheered before turning back around to look at me. "Come on." She smiled and grabbed my hand, my entire hand, intertwined our fingers, and pulled me over towards where everyone else was. "I know, I'm excited, too." May smiled at me, probably regarding my smile, as she reached for a brownie.

     Little does she know, though, I wasn't smiling about the brownies. I was smiling at our intertwined hands.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

NFKDKEPDPWIDJFFKK.

What the heck is going on? I'M SCREAMING!!!

It's funny how some of you guys are like "why are you surprised, you're the one who wrote it", but, in all honesty, my fingers just type and type and take the story wherever it wants to go. I don't plan this ahead of time, I swear. So, yes, I'm allowed to be excited too, okay!!! thx friends.

Yesterday I went through this whole book so far and read it and sometimes I forgot that it's my story. It was kind of crazy, really. I was feeling all the feels.

I KNOW I LEFT YOU IN THE DUST ON THIS CHAPTER SO I'M GOING TO UPDATE ON THURSDAY! I PROMISE WITH ALL MY HEART!

I love you guys! Thank you so much for over 100k reads!!

Oh, also, that's May Parker in the multimedia. Isn't she pretty?