chapter twenty

WE HAD MANAGED TO find our way to the zoo because it was one of Lulu's favorite places, or something? Honestly, I think this is all just a little outrageous for a C. She must be having a birthday soon or some kind of amazing event coming up.

"Aw, look at the little meerkats!" Olivia stood on the rail and leaned into the exhibit. I took a sip of my ICEE and looked at where she was pointing. I mean, yeah, the meerkats were incredibly cute.

"Look at the one picking at his butt." I laughed and pointed in the direction of that one meerkat. By the time she finally looked, it had stopped. "Aw, you missed it."

"Fuck." She practically yelled. I shushed her immediately and looked around at all the little kids around us, but she really didn't seem to care. "I wanted to see that one!"

"It's okay!" I laughed and started dragging her inside the tunnel where everyone else was. Apparently there were spiders and snakes inside there and I wasn't too keen on checking it out. As soon as I looked into the glass box to my left, I closed my eyes and crossed my arms across my chest. I hate spiders.

"Ashley, you okay?" Olivia chuckled beside me. I kept my eyes squeezed shut as I shook my head and smiled. "Okay, good, because I'm scared of spiders, too."

I peeked through my eyelashes and saw her standing right in front of me.

"Really?"

"Yep, really, I don't want to see any of this. So we can be losers together." She smiled. I dropped my shoulders away from my ears and smiled at her. She linked arms with me and led me through the tunnel at a very fast pace as I laughed at May Parker's confused face when we passed her.

     We finally left the tunnel with everyone else quick on our tail. First it was Kyle, then May, and so on.

     "What were you guys doing?" May tried to catch her breath and I just smiled at her. She was just so funny and I don't really know why I saw it as amusing.

     "We hate spiders." Olivia spoke up for the two of us. I nodded my head and laughed at everyone who looked at us like we were crazy. Are we the only ones scared of spiders and snakes? Is that so illegal?

     "Y'all are losers." Chase chuckled. Everyone joined in and we began to walk to a new exhibit. Olivia still had her arm linked with mine, even though I didn't ask for it, but I didn't mind. We passed by families, staff members, teenagers, a couple people from my school, and more. It was like a giant place for a reunion.

     "Can we go see the elephants?" Lulu whined. We all said yes to her, only because today is all about her (Olivia whispered that in my ear), but I also wanted to see them, too. I love elephants. I actually love all animals, except spiders and snakes, of course. They don't even count as animals, really.

"Hello." May slide to my left side and linked her arm with mine. Now I have Olivia to my right and May on my left. We were taking up quite a lot of space as we walked, but I tried not to pay much attention to the people who had to move for us. I felt so bad, though.

"Hi." Olivia and I said at the same time. May smiled at me and then leaned forward to do the same to Olivia.

"Do you guys want to go see the sea animals and shit like that?" May asked. My eyebrows perked up immediately as I found my mouth settling into a smirk. May remembers what I want to be when I grow up.

"I thought we were going to see the elephants?" Olivia pouted. "I love elephants."

"Yeah, me too, but I mean afterwards." May clarified. "I know Ashley loves sea animals, so let's do it! I wanna see some seals!"

"Are there even any seals at this zoo?" I furrowed my eyebrows together. I'm not sure that there are. I don't even think that they have sea animals; it's not an aquarium.

"I don't know, but we can find out." May smiled. I smiled as well and nodded my head before turning to look at Olivia.

"It'll be fun." I smiled. "Sea animals are the best."

"Yeah, yeah." Olivia rolled her eyes into a chuckle. "Whatever you say."

     We finally made our way to the elephant exhibit, so we all broke apart from one another and stood on the railing as we leaned in. There was a zookeeper inside that was putting food into a little ditch and I couldn't help but be so jealous of that man. I don't know, I just think it would be amazing to work here.

     The elephants were large and gorgeous and their ears complimented one with a little birthmark. There was a baby and two adults in the exhibit but I couldn't help but only stare at the baby.

     "That baby is so cute." I pouted and titled my head to the side. If I could choose any animal in the world to have, it would be a baby elephant. No doubt about it.

     "Yeah." May smiled beside me and looked over at the baby. "If only it didn't smell like shit, though." I chuckled and looked over at her as I smirked. I knew I wanted to say something, I just knew it, but I completely forgot what it was. We were stuck looking at each other - as if we were on another planet and everyone else was still down on earth.

"Wanna look at a map to find some sea animals?" She managed to break the silence between us. I quickly nodded my head and was dragged by the wrist over to a sign in the middle of the concrete pathway.

You are here. It said next to the elephant exhibit. I scanned and scanned to try and find any sort of sea animal exhibit, but I couldn't find any. I guess that's what the aquarium is for; you know, specifically.

"There's nothing." May pouted beside me. I turned my body to her and shrugged my shoulders as I cocked my head to the side.

"That's okay." I smiled as she turned her body to face mine as well. "We can always go to the aquarium sometime."

"Yeah." Her entire face lit up as she held a smile. "That sounds amazing."

"C'mon, we're going to see the giraffes now! And then I want to ride the Merry-go-Round!" Kyle yelled as he sped walked past us. We laughed and quickly managed to catch up with him as we pushed our way through the crowd. Everyone else was laughing, too, and my heart felt happy.

I've barely even talked to all these people yet, but I feel like I have found a hint of happiness. Not completely - just... a hint. Enough to make the smile on my face real.

"What're you thinking about, Ashley James?" May smiled beside me. We all slowed down our pace because we were getting a little tired from the crazy fast speed walking.

"I'm just thinking that I'm happy." I answered honestly and looked down at the floor as fast as I could. I didn't want her to make me blush or anything, so I just avoided her all together.

"Oh, good." May practically whispered the next part, "That makes me incredibly happy."

     I looked at her and smiled through my red face. Why does my happiness make her happy? Is it because she's already the happiest she can be?

     "Oh, good." I finally managed to speak as I repeated the words she said before. She grinned, nice and big - so big her dimple was almost lost in the action - before she linked her arm with mine again. The butterflies inside of me danced around my heart as it pounded against my ribcage.

We stopped walking so Lulu and Georgia Rae could go to the bathroom, and that's when May shushed everyone and started telling us the plan. She broke away from my arm and stood in front of all of us, leaving me to miss her touch.

"So, after the zoo, we're all gonna go to-"

     "That hill? The one that Lulu always goes to?" Chase interrupted her. May didn't seem bothered, though, she just smiled and nodded her head.

     "Yeah, so we're going to drive about ten minutes out of the city and go to that hill that overlooks it, and then we'll surprise Lulu. Fernando, you brought cupcakes right?"

     "Yep." He shoved his hands into his pockets and nodded his head. "They're in my car. With the weed, too."

     "Oh, shut up." April, one of the twins, said. "We're not smoking on Lulu's special day."

     "Okay." Fernando pouted and slumped his shoulders forward. I laughed at his sign of defeat before turning back to look at May.

     She gave me a smirk, only me, before turning back to look at everyone else. I suddenly let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. 

     "It's gonna be fun," she smiled at everyone, "so don't screw this up." -pause- "I'm looking at you, Fernando." She lowered her eyebrows and gave him a hairy eyeball.

     We all laughed and got the hint to stop talking about this because Lulu and Georgia Rae both emerged from the bathrooms. The bathrooms were pretty nice looking for it being in the middle of the zoo - which, I don't even know why I seem to care.

     "Let's go have lunch!" May pumped her fists in the air and started walking towards a Tiki sort of decoration all around a restaurant. Fernando seemed to find his way to me as he pulled me backwards from the crowd, causing me to stumble a little bit.

     "Woah, hi." I balanced myself on the ground and faced him. He looked like he wanted to tell me something, so I kept quiet and examined his face.

     "Ashley," he began, "I need to ask you something."

     "Okay." I nodded my head and motioned for him to continue. Everyone had already made it inside the restaurant and I was really hungry - I wanted to be with the group.

     "Do you like anyone?"

     "Uh-"

     "You know, like, do you think anyone is cute or do you get butterflies and shit? You can tell me, it's okay."

     "Uh-" I felt my face drain of all its color. The butterflies that I get around May all the time - does that mean I like her? No, no, I can't like her. I mean, she's a girl. I know I'm gay, I guess, but May? If I ever did like her, it would seem like she wouldn't feel the same back. She doesn't want to like someone who doesn't even truly know who they are, I'm sure. "No, I don't like anyone." I gulped and shrugged my shoulders as my eyes made their ways to his.

     "Really?" His eyebrows furrowed as he towered above me in height. I gulped, again, and nodded my head as I stopped looking at him. He was making me nervous. "Well, okay." He finally quit asking and took a deep breath. "I know someone that likes-"

     The ringing of my phone interrupted him, so I quickly pulled it out of my pocket and saw that it was my father. That's weird; I thought he was at work?

     "Sorry, Fernando." I apologized and brought the phone to my ear. "Hello? Dad?"

     "I heard that you're gay, Ashley." He spoke strongly. My mouth dropped open and my eyes widened - did mom tell him? I wanted to tell him myself. "That's not okay."

     I inhaled a sharp breath and covered my mouth with my hand. I didn't know what to say, I mean, this is my father telling me I'm not okay.

     "You're my only kid, you know that?" He spoke with anger. "How is my only child messed up? Why did you fail your family, Ashley?"

     Tears came to my eyes as my lower lip quivered.

     "Are you okay?" Fernando came in front of me and looked at me with concern. I couldn't even look at him, I was just shocked at my dads reaction.

     "I don't understand how your mother has known for a week. And that she accepts you. Please, try and help me understand. Why aren't you normal?"

     "I-" I cleared my throat and took a deep breath as I tried to talk, "I am normal." I gulped.

     "No, no you aren't." He said. "Bye, Ashley." He hung up the phone and left me standing in shock. Fernando seemed to know what the call seemed to be about, due to my response, so he immediately engulfed me into his arms as I buried my face into his chest.

     We didn't even have to talk to one another, we just knew. Fernando's love and support for me made me want to show my dad what he should be doing instead of hating me. I broke down into Fernando's hug and started crying onto his clothes - which he must be used to - as he placed his head down on my shoulder and stroked my hair.

     "It'll be okay, Ashley." He whispered into my ear. The tears stopped as I took a deep breath in and smiled.

     I have people who care and that's all that should matter.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Freaking dad. Get outta here. No one asked for your opinion.

Anyway, I love you guys so much. I always read all your comments (I never miss one) and your reactions and support just brings the biggest smile to my face!

I'm not sure how many chapters are left in this book (AHHHH, crazy, I know), but I will let you know as soon as I do!

You guys are incredible and I hope you know that because of you, I will be completing my very first book on Wattpad. It's a big moment for me - especially because I've written many books before but took them all down before chapter ten - and I'm glad I get to share it with you guys.

Currently I'm already working on another book to be posted after this (which, sadly does not include as much LGBT as this book), which I am very excited to share with you guys! I will let you know when it's up. (Probably more towards the end of this book).

I love you guys! See you on Thursday (or, more likely, Sunday).