chapter eleven

YOU WOULD THINK THAT THE WEEKEND is a time to get out, have fun and to loosen up. However, it hasn't even been a full week into my grounding and I was forced to stay home all day and finish my homework.

     Who does all of their homework on Saturday morning? I always save it for Sunday night. Sometimes even Monday morning. But never, ever Saturday.

     "Goodnight, honey." My mom smiled as she held onto the doorknob. "Love you."

     "Night mom." I smiled. She turned the lights off and closed the door, leaving me alone in the dark.

     I was supposed to be at Olivia's party an hour ago, but my parents are night owls. There's no way I can sneak out when they're awake. However, today they wanted to go to bed at nine-thirty, so I gladly changed into my pajamas and got in bed around the same time as them.

     Twenty minutes later, when I knew they were asleep, I climbed out of bed and changed into an outfit I had planned a few hours earlier.

     I slipped on a knit white crop top with high waisted denim shorts that stopped just above my mid thigh. I tip toed into my bathroom and put half of my hair up into a top knot and left the rest of it down. I didn't have time to curl or straighten it, so I just let it be. I did my makeup in a nano-second and took a quick glance in the mirror.

     Given a short amount of time to get ready, I actually looked and felt pretty good (for once).

     Five minutes later (after placing pillows under my blanket to make some sort of human-shaped object), I opened up the window in my room. I tossed my shoes outside and then climbed out, rather clumsily, as I quietly shut the window behind me.

     143 Rosebud Drive.

     I knew that street was a couple blocks away, so I began to walk towards it. I didn't even have to look at the numbers on the houses because the house at the end of the street had its lights on and music blaring. I saw faint images of people out front dancing like goons, so I knew that must be Olivia's house.

     Once I got inside, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I mean, this was crazier than the party with Julia. Does Olivia really know all these people?

     People were on tables, laying on the floor, puking on the stairs, grinding... and it was only ten o'clock.

     Well, I guess I was a little late.

     "Ashley, oh, my God!" Someone exclaimed. I looked over to see Olivia and I immediately smiled. "You look bomb!"

     "Thanks." I smiled. "Happy birthday!" I said and gave her a hug. It was a little awkward, only because we've talked one time, but she seemed too drunk to care.

     "Aw, thank you." She grinned as we pulled away. "Did you come alone?" Her eyebrows raised and her drink spilled a little as she flew her hand around.

     "No, well, sort of." I laughed. "May wanted me to come with her but I'm grounded so..."

     "Oh, I get it." She wiggled her eyebrows and chuckled.

     "Olivia, you've gotta come see this!" Someone yelled. She turned around and nodded her head before looking back at me and grabbing my hands.

     "Last time I saw May, she was in the basement." She said. "The door is next to the kitchen."

     "Okay, thanks." I nodded my head.

     "Have fun!" She patted my hand and danced away. I just shook my head and chuckled before walking around the house to find the kitchen.

     I opened a few doors to find a closet and a bathroom, but eventually I found one with stairs leading down.

     Once I got to the bottom, I looked around and saw that there were a lot less people down here but they were still just as drunk. The lights were dim and there was a keg of beer and a pile of solo cups right nearby. There were a few couches with people scattered here and there and the floor was concrete, but there were some parts that a thin sheet of carpet covered.

     As I scanned the area, I found May sitting next to the pool table staring at the wall. I made my way over to her and looked at what she was looking at, but I couldn't seem to find anything. It was just a white wall with a tiny crack.

     "Hey." I said and stepped in front of her.

     She smiled and put down her drink before she stood up and hugged me. I was taken back, but eventually I wrapped my arms around her just as tight and took a deep breath. I happened to catch a whiff of her shampoo - lavender... with a hint of honey.

     "You scared me." She spoke so soft I almost couldn't hear her over the music. "I thought you weren't coming."

     "It's okay, I came." I smiled as we pulled away from the hug.

     "You're a good person." She said. Her arms were still around my neck and I couldn't help but feel tingles where our skin was touching.

     "You say that a lot." I noted as I looked right into her stupid, big brown eyes.

     "And you doubt yourself a lot." She pursed her lips. I smirked as I chuckled softly. She laughed and finally released her grasp as she bent down to pick up her cup. Suddenly, my body was craving for her to come back again.

     "Sorry I came so late." I apologized. "It's kind of hard to sneak out of the house when your parents are night owls."

     "Oh, jeez, I forgot that you were grounded." She furrowed her eyebrows and stared at me as she took a long swig of her drink. "I'm glad you came, though." She said.

     "Yeah, me too." I smiled. "How's it been with your ex so far?"

     "Oh, my God." She gasped and rolled her eyes. "It's been horrible. I haven't even said anything to her yet but she's been looking at me all night and I don't know what to do!"

     Wait.

     "Her?" I furrowed my eyebrows together. It felt like I couldn't breath anymore; my throat was blocked by something and I couldn't stop it.

     She looked at me for a few seconds and opened her mouth, but we were interrupted by some girl with short red hair.

     "May!" The girl exclaimed before pulling her into a tight hug. "Oh, my God. You look fantastic tonight!"

     I gulped and stepped back as I let the two of them talk and had my mind wander. Her? May Parker's ex is a she?

     "Hey, Ashley." I inhaled a sharp breath as I looked over at May and the red headed girl. "This is my ex, Brooke." May introduced me. I smiled and shook her hand.

"Nice to meet you." She smiled. I said the same in return and forced myself to smile.

     "Sorry, would you excuse me for a second?" I said softly. Brooke nodded her head and smiled while May just looked at me with a broken face. I tore myself from the situation and walked upstairs as I searched for some sort of drink. Any drink. I didn't care what, but I need it now.

I found myself in the kitchen just picking up a random cup - it may have belonged to someone but at this moment I couldn't care less - and brought it to my lips as I chugged it down. It was cheap beer and it tasted like crap, but it made me feel a little bit better.

Why is my body tingly all over? Why am I starting to think about May in ways I've promised myself never to think about someone? Oh, my God, her ex is a she for crying out loud!

May Parker likes girls and I don't know who or what I like anymore and that's what freaks me out the most. I'm a freak! Julia was right all along!

I chugged another round of cheap beer and began to forget about the horrible taste.

"I'm a freak." I said as I felt tears come to my eyes. I knew no one was around to hear me, so I let myself say it one more time. "I'm a freak."

"You're freaky, too?" Someone asked from behind me as they grabbed my butt. I turned around and ran away as fast as I could into the backyard.

To think that things couldn't get worse.

I hate parties. I hate everything about parties. Every time I go to one I never end up okay in the end and it sucks. It absolutely sucks and I haven't even been here longer than ten minutes.

"Ashley?" Someone spoke from behind me. I wiped my tears and turned around to come face to face with Fernando. Well, Grant.

"Oh, hi." I attempted to smile.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he took a step forward. I took a deep breath and nodded my head. "You sure?"

I wanted to nod my head again and pretend like everything was okay, but tears began to rush out of my eyes.

"Oh, my God." He stepped forward and pulled me into a hug. "What's wrong?" He asked. "I mean, you don't have to tell me. I know we barely know each other, so it's okay."

I cried some more into his shoulder and sniffed my nose a couple of times.

I pulled away and looked up at him. "I'm scared, Grant."

"Scared of what?" He asked. He didn't seem at all surprised that I didn't call him Fernando.

"A crazy monster that's following me around." I sobbed. He took a deep breath and pulled me back into his chest as he allowed me to cry.

"I know the feeling." He said softly as he patted the top of my head.

"Ashley?" Someone called. I pulled away from Grant and looked into the eyes of Mackenzie, the girl who sits across from me in Literature. "Oh, hey! It is you!"

"Yeah, hi." I attempted to sound cheerful as I wiped my eyes and stepped away from Grant.

"Are you okay?" She asked. I chuckled and nodded my head. It seemed like I was getting asked that daily now. "Oh, God." She pouted and grabbed my arms. "Who made you cry? I'm sure your boyfriend will beat them up for you."

"You have a boyfriend?" Grant asked from behind me. I looked at him and nodded my head before turning back to Mackenzie.

"Don't worry," I giggled half heartedly, "no one made me cry."

"Oh, good." Mackenzie smiled as she dropped her grip on my arms. "Because then this party wouldn't of been fun." She smiled. "So how do you know Olivia?"

"Oh, I met her a couple weeks ago." I explained as I took a deep breath. My voice was getting stronger now. "Through a mutual friend."

"Oh, that's cool." She nodded her head and smiled. "I've been her next door neighbor since I was, like, two years old." She said.

"Wow." My eyes widened. "So you guys must be really good friends then?"

"Eh," Mackenzie clicked her tongue, "not really. But we're close enough to come to each other's birthday parties, so I guess that counts for something."

     "Yeah, I guess it does." I smiled and wiped my eyes one more time. I wanted to make sure that I didn't have mascara smeared across my face.

     "Hey, wanna come hang out with me and some other people?" She asked. "We're all sitting over there," she pointed further back into the backyard, "at that picnic table next to the tree."

     "Um, okay, sure." I smiled. "I'll be over in a second."

     "Okay." She nodded her head and began to walk over to the picnic table as I turned back around to face Grant. I noticed he had a wet mark on his shoulder and I chuckled softly. "Sorry for crying on you and ruining your shirt."

He glanced down and smiled.

"It'll go away, don't worry." He looked up at me.

I noticed that his eyes sparkled in the dark and he had a small scruff on his chin. His hair was messy - not necessarily in an attractive way - and his lips were nice and plump. I just wanted to see if I was normal - if there was some sort of spark. I know there never is with Mason.

"Um - I, uh... sorry... in advance." I said as I stepped closer. He raised his eyebrows and parted his lips to say something, but just as he did I leaned in and closed the gap between us.

I want to feel a spark, I want to be normal-

"Ashley, I want to tell you- Oh, my God! Fernando?"

*****

Longer chapter for you guys because I know I was mean in the last chapter. Also, how do you like that cliffhanger? Hmm?

Who do you think it was at the end?? *wiggles eyebrows*

Um also like what the heck is this "10k" thing?? THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! I love y'all, like, a lot.

***Who wants a dedication in the next chapter? All you have to do is guess what my favorite color is. Whoever guesses it right first will win! (Hint: it's not a basic color like 'green' or 'blue', think more like 'Honeydew' or something beyond the box).***

Love y'all!

(What do you guys think about two updates every week instead of one?)