Getting to know my dad was real nice. We talked about anything under the sun, he told me he could play guitar pretty good and I told him I'd learned to fight. He gave me a pocketknife of his, a real nice one. It wasn't like the new one Two-Bit just got (his was shiny silver and sharp as hell), but it sure was something I was proud to wield. I figured that, now that I had something to defend myself with if I ever got jumped again, I wouldn't be too bad walking by myself anymore.

The soc's never really jumped girls, just if they was pissed off and couldn't find anyone better to jump. It was usually the greaser girls. They didn't bother with Dally's girl too much or the broads the Shepard's was going with, but after that jumping they'd done to me and Johnny just a few months before, and the fact I'd punched one of the socy girls, they'd give me hell any time they saw me. I hadn't gotten jumped again, but I sure was scared I would. Now that I had a knife, I wasn't so worried.

Arnie told me how to hold it like I was threatening. Keep in mind, I'm not a real big person, so seeing a girl trying to scare someone off probably seemed more like a bluff than a real threat. This man was a real good guy. It made me mad my mom had cheated on him.

Of course I did tell him all about the guys. I told him I didn't like girls because they was always trying to get me to paint my nails and I didn't like that. I told them they were good to me, they were like my brothers. He asked for all their names and I told him: Ponyboy, the youngest; Johnny, the second youngest; Soda, who was older than me; Steve, who was next oldest, right behind Dally; Two-Bit, the second oldest; and Darry, the oldest of us all.

I told him how I'd met Sodapop and Steve when we were real little, in grade school. They played with me for awhile, until they got that idea of cooties. I punched the both of them and they said I was tuff and said I could hang out with them. After that, we just grew up together. He said they sounded like good guys and I told him they were.

Next, I told him about Ryan and how we were together, but we hadn't been talking much recently. I told him Ryan was just as good to me as the gang were because if he wasn't, all those guys would have his ass skinned in a minute. Arnie said he'd quite like to meet Ryan since he was dating me. It was alright. I told him fine.

During those weeks, my mom didn't seem to be getting worse. The only thing was, now that I knew she was sick, it was evident she was. I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it before.

The little kids didn't know. Mom did end up telling them they'd be going somewhere else to live. She had to explain it in a way that a seven year old would understand. It didn't mean they did. I wouldn't have, either. This strange man is here and they're getting shipped off? I mean, I'd be confused, too.

I told Sodapop all about how I was in a real situation and followed up with the whole story. He didn't look like he knew what to do, but he sat there with me, especially when it sounded like I was about to cry. I hated crying.

"You know it's alright to cry sometimes," he said as I told him about my mama being sick. "You need it."

"I can't just cry."

"You can't just not cry. You stay strong too long, you break down in ways you didn't think you could."

I nodded. "Yeah, maybe you're right."

"If you ever wanna cry, don't be afraid to come cry on me. I don't care. I mean, I do care that you're crying because I hate seeing you upset, but I don't care why you're crying: you're hurt, you're scared, you lost your left shoe, I really truly don't care. I'm always here for you and I'm always gonna be here for you."

"Yeah, I know," I said. I smiled at him.

"You're stronger than you think," he said, returning the smile. "When you cry, it's not over one thing, it's because you've held in a lot of things for too long. I think it takes a helluva girl to be as strong as you. Sometimes you remind me of Darry. Except you know how to laugh at some banter every now and then."

My grin grew wider. "What would I do without you?" I asked, although I hadn't meant to.

"Mmmm, you'd probably have gone crazy years ago."

I had to laugh. "Jeez, Soda. We're just kids. Why does shit like this always happen to people? I know I'm no little angel, but I don't think I deserved this. Having to mother my siblings and watch my mom slowly die...and soon I'll be getting hauled the hell out of Tulsa."

Soda sighed a real sad sigh. "Sometimes, even the best people have to feel pain. I guess if there wasn't pain, there'd be no reason to look forward to happiness. You'd have nothing really to look forward to. When you're sad, you can be sad, but you can look at the bright side. Two sides of the same coin, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah. That makes sense."

"Hey, do you remember homecoming?" he asked. I laughed.

"Yeah. We were a riot. I think we were the life of the party."

"Yeah, we were. Don't think anyone could out-dance Two, though." I laughed again, a real hearty laugh. Nothing was funnier than drunk Two-Bit dancing. After a few seconds of silence, I fell into my own thoughts. To think about having to leave my friends behind was really heartbreaking. Sure, I'd always thought about what it was like to be far away from this place, to not have to worry about feuds between the greasers and the socs anymore. A place with no social totem pole, no one to look at me and turn me away because I had a bandana around my head and leather jacket instead of a poodle skirt and those godforsaken heeled shoes. Maybe I could find a way down to the Keys, spend the rest of my days on the beach.

"Hey, about your mom...I know this is gonna be hard. Losing a parent...it's indescribable. I know how it feels. And I'm not trying to be that kind of person that, you know, tries to make it seem less painful just because I've been through it. But, because I've been through it, I do, unfortunately, know how painful it is and hopefully I can be of some help to ease you through it."

I nodded. It was good to hear. I didn't know what it was like to lose a parent, let alone two, like when his had died in that car accident. I never wanted to imagine. And now, unfortunately, I had to sit by and watch my mama die.

"The best thing I can do is to be there for her. I know she wasn't always there for me when I was going through a rough patch, but I can't just let her lay there and suffer by herself. No one deserves to have to die alone."

"Yeah," he agreed with a reassuring smile on his face.

*

"It's good to finally catch up. I feel like we haven't talked in years," Ryan said as we walked hand in hand down the sidewalk.

"I know," I said, swinging our arms. "Sorry about that. With everything that's been going on and, you know, since I got that new job..."

"Understandable."

"How's your dad been?"

"Good, good," Ryan said. "He's discovered a long lost love for pistachio ice cream now, so we've got several things of it in the freezer."

"Pistachio's not bad. I prefer--"

"Soda! Darry! Agh! Anyone! Help!"

"What the hell--?" Ryan gasped out.

"Come on!" I dropped Ryan's hand and ran toward whoever was yelling.

"Candy, stop! It could be dangerous!"

"I gotta go help! It sounded like Ponyboy!"

"You heard it, too?" someone said from behind us. I turned and saw Dally.

"Yeah, we heard it!" Ryan said, breaking out into a nervous jog.

"Well, let's go!" We ran toward the shouts.

As if a warning siren had gone off, the whole Curtis gang appeared out of nowhere to see what was going on. When we rounded the corner, we saw what the ruckus was: a couple socs were jumping Ponyboy.

"Hey! Get off 'im!" Ryan shouted. We all ran after the socs, ready to starting knocking them silly. I got a real surge of adrenaline, chasing those guys off. We picked up rocks and chucked them at their cars as they sped on outta there. Cowards. I spat at the ground, but turned to Steve and Ryan to high-five them.

We turned around and headed off back to where Darry and Sodapop were comforting Ponyboy on the ground.

"Didya catch 'em?" he asked as we all crouched around him.

"Nup," Two-Bit said. "They got away this time, the dirty sumbitches. Man, those bastards woulda been ours..." He went on and on in a tone like he was telling someone about his love for his new switchblade.

"The kid's okay?" asked Steve.

"I'm okay," Ponyboy said. "I didn't know you were out of the cooler yet, Dally." I turned to Dallas. I hadn't even thought about it when I saw him come running up behind us a minute before.

"Good behavior. Got off early," Dally said, lighting a cigarette and handing it to Johnny. We all lit one. It felt good.

"Nice-lookin' bruise you got there," said Two-Bit brightly.

"Really?"

"Nice cut, too," I added.

"Makes you look tough."

"What were you doin', walkin' by your lonesome?" asked Steve, flicking his cig.

"I was comin' home from the movies. I didn't think--"

"You don't ever think," Darry huffed. "Not at home or anywhere when it counts. You must think at school, with all those good grades you bring home, and you've always got your nose in a book, but do you ever use your head for common sense? No sirree, bub. And if you did have to go by yourself, you should have carried a blade."

Ponyboy frowned. I wrinkled my nose in a funny sort of glare.

"Leave my kid brother alone, you hear?" said Soda. "It ain't his fault he likes to go to the movies, and it ain't his fault the socs like to jump us, and if he had been carrying a blade it would have been a good excuse to cut him to ribbons."

"When I want my kid brother to tell me what to do with my other kid brother, I'll ask you, kid brother."

"Next time, get one of us to go with you, Ponyboy," Two-Bit said. "Any of us will." I nodded in confirmation, as did most of the others.

"Speakin' of movies," said Dally, yawning like he was bored. He tossed his cigarette butt and stomped on it with the heel of his boot. "I'm walkin' over to the Nightly Double tomorrow night. "Anybody want to come and hunt some action?"

"Me and Soda are pickin' up Evie and Sandy for the game," said Steve.

"I'm working tomorrow night," said Darry.

"Yeah, I'm going to the races tomorrow with my old man," said Ryan, scratching the back of his neck. He was always a little apprehensive about Dally. He really wasn't a bad kid. He just did a lot of stupid shit and had a punk attitude.

"How about y'all?" said Dally, turning to the rest of us. "Two-Bit, Johnny you and Pony wanna come? How about you, Candy Cane?"

"Me and Johnny'll come," said Pony. "Okay, Darry?"

"Yeah, since it ain't a school night," Darry replied.

"I was planning on getting boozed up tomorrow night," Two-Bit said. "If I don't, I'll walk over and find y'all."

"What about you, Roxy Road?" said Dally. "C'mon, kid."

"Yeah, I'll see," I said. "I don't have work, but I still got two kids I gotta look after."

He shrugged. I tossed my cigarette butt.

"You break up with Sylvia again?" Steve asked suddenly. I looked at him and then at Dallas; I noticed his ring was back on.

"Yeah, and this time for good. That little broad was two timin' me while I was in jail." I mentally scoffed. Typical. Never liked that. Of course I already mentioned I'd always had a problem with her.

"It's gettin' late. Candy Cane, you want me to walk you home, doll?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah," I said. "See you guys." We waved to them and they returned the gesture.

"So, listen," he said as we stopped on my front porch.

"What's up?" I asked. He led me back down to the steps and we took a seat. I pulled my sweatshirt sleeves down over my hands and looked to him expectantly.

"Well, I got accepted into a really good college on a scholarship," he said.

"No shit," I said. "That's awesome!"

"Yeah," he said. He frowned slightly, looking down at the ground.

"What's wrong? You were so excited when you were applying to places--"

"Candice...I'll be going Ole Miss."

Oh. "Mississippi. You'll be moving," I stated the obvious, moving to look down at the toes of my converse.

"Yeah. It's, uh, quite a distant. Not clear across the country."

"Still."

"So, I had a question to ask you. And I know it's, uh, not really appropriate...but, Candice I don't want to be away from you. I was wondering if you'd, you now, move with me?"

I looked up at him in shock. Moving all the way to Mississippi? I was in this predicament already with my dad.

"Ryan..." I said.

"I know. It's a lot."

"It is. Where would we stay? I'm sixteen. I'm not even of age. I'm not even in school anymore..."

"What if you enrolled in high school there?"

"Ryan, I really don't know. This is hard. I'm trying to patch things with my dad, my mom, my brother and sister--"

"Hey, don't worry about it, alright? It's only April. We've still got time."

I nodded. "Okay," I said. "I need to go in." I stood up and ascended the stairs toward the door. Ryan followed.

"Hey, doll, just think about it, okay?"

"Alright," I said, nodding again.

"I love you." He leaned in and kissed my cheek before turning and walking off down the street.

I'd never felt more guilty in my life.  

Omg I apologize. I feel like this chapter was all over the place. Hope you're enjoying it, anyway. :) Thanks so much for voting! ♥