Arnie came back in later on like he promised. It was getting late by that point and I knew the rumble would be starting soon. I told him I was tired and he said okay and left shortly thereafter. He took my book and my clothes with him. Soon after he left, Dally came running into my room.

"You coming?" he said.

"To the rumble? Hell yes," I said, quickly tying my hair up in a bun to keep it out of the way.

"Well, let's go then. It'll be starting soon. If we run, we can make it." I hurriedly slipped my sweatshirt back on and we ran out the hospital, nurses and doctors alike telling us not to run down the hallways. I didn't look too tuff, but I didn't care. My adrenaline was racing and I was ready to fight. I figured I still looked twice as tuff as those socs did.

Dallas drove us to the Curtis' house and then we ran the rest of the way to the vacant lot, stopping only twice and very briefly to catch our breaths. When we got to the lot, we could see all the socs and the greasers getting ready to fight.

"Hold up!" Dally hollered.

"Hold it!" I screamed, too, hoping they'd wait a second before starting so we could get in there, too. Just then, the rumble started and Dally and I basically dove right in. I found one soc just about my size and swung a good punch right at his jaw. He whirled around, bewildered. When he saw who'd punched him, he took a step back and I took the advantage. My fist collided with the side of his face again and I beat him till his cheek was blue and his bottom lip was swollen. Once that guy was down, I moved to help Sodapop.

"I thought we toldja not to join the rumble!" he hollered.

"I thought I toldja I could fight just fine," I said. I felt someone punch the back of my head and I fell forward, Sodapop catching me before I could hit the ground. He pushed me up to my feet and I moved out of the way quicker than what I could even process.

"Nice of you to bring your little girlfriend along, greaser," said one of the socs.

"She can pack a punch better'n you can," Sodapop said.

I got my advantage on another soc, too. Just as Ponyboy jumped on his back to try and take him down, I came up from underneath and kicked him in the shin. I jumped to my feet quickly and punched him right under his chin.

My hand was searing in pain, but I was still having a huge adrenaline rush, so it was easy to ignore it for the most part. One soc didn't mind the idea of hitting a girl and grabbed me from behind, slamming me to the ground and pinning me down. I screamed and kicked and punched at him until Steve came to my rescue and knocked him outta the way.

"Jesus Christ, kid," he said. I about shoved him in a playful manner, but realized we were still in the rumble and we both turned to take down another soc together.

I took to Ponyboy's idea and saddled on Soc and grabbed him around the neck in a tight choke hold. He tried punching at me, but I wasn't letting go. Another soc punched me in the side, knocking the wind out of me, but I held on for dear life. The soc tripped and we both tumbled to the ground and I sat on him and punch him in the side of his face. One other soc football tackled me off his buddy and we both fell to the ground. I was quick to my feet, a lot faster than him, and started slugging him in the face, then. When he was as good as knocked out, I rolled off him and dodged around Darry and a soc rolling in the dirt and helped Dally take one down.

Once he was down, I noticed the socs start to run.

"They're running!" Two-Bit yelled in delight. "Look at the dirty sons of bitches run!"

I grinned as I saw the socs running to get into their fancy cars and drive off like the cowards they are. When I looked around at all my friends, my smile faded. Steve was laying on the ground in the fetal position, Soda talking quietly to him. Two-Bit had blood running down the side of his face. I felt something sticky and warm on the side of my face and knew immediately that it was blood. My right fist was caked in it, but I didn't know what was mine and what wasn't.

"We won," said Darry. "We beat the socs."

Once we were all certain we were okay to leave, our gang made our way to the hospital to get cleaned up. We all helped Steve walk there. I was sure his ribs were busted. We found out three of them were broken and he got all fixed up. Two-Bit had to get four stitches on the side of his face. The rest of us were alright to leave. The doctors tried to keep me there, since I technically wasn't supposed to leave until the next day, but I didn't care and walked out the front door with the guys.

"Hey, kid," a voice called after me. I turned to him with a scowl on my face.

"I'm not staying overnight. I told you guys that. I'm fine to go home."

"It's not that. I've got some paperwork for your mom."

"Paperwork?" I asked.

"Yeah. Just some stuff she needs to sign and return back when she can. It's just a synopsis of all the dates she's been in."

"I didn't think she'd been in that many times."

He shrugged and I took the papers from him. I folded them up and shoved them into my back pocket and I ran to catch up with the guys.

When we all finally arrived at the house awhile later, I saw that Buck's T-Bird was gone. I hadn't even noticed that Ponyboy and Dallas weren't with us, although I really should have. I was sure they'd gone to see Johnny. I suddenly felt guilty about not seeing him today, but figured I couldn't get into his room even if I wanted to.

Soda helped Steve lay down on the couch.

"Hey, buddy. You need some water?" He grunted in reply. I left to the kitchen to get him a glass of water. When I returned, Soda had Steve's shirt unbuttoned and his eyes were closed.

Darry turned to me when I entered the room. "You still got some blood on you, Candy Cane," he said.

"I do?" I asked dumbly. I hadn't figured I'd needed fixed up too bad, considering the doctors weren't too worried about me when we were there, but when I went into the bathroom to look in the mirror, I couldn't figure out who was staring back at me for a few whole seconds. "Jesus," I gasped, touching my black eye. I winced in pain. "Shit."

I wetted a washcloth and moved back into the living room and dabbed at the blood on my right hand. The blood was both mine and of an unknown soc's. With the wound on my hand now raw and clean, I moved to cleaning whatever else needed cleaning.

I dabbed at the side of my face where it itched. I had blood in my hair and running down to the middle of my cheek. I might have hit a rock when that soc and I fell to the ground, but I couldn't be sure. My chest was hurting bad again and so was my other hand where the burn was. I figured the bandage on that hand needed changing and I should put some aloe or lotion or something on the burn to help soothe it.

"Here, let me help," said Darry. He took the washcloth from me and dabbed at the blood on the side of my face.

I don't know why I thought of it all of a sudden, but I realized Ryan hadn't come to see me in the hospital at all and I didn't see him at the rumble.

"Where's Ryan?" I asked no one in particular.

"Thought you knew?" said Sodapop.

I looked over at him, eyebrows raised.

"Dammit, Candice, hold still a second, would ya?"

"Sorry, Darry," I said.

"He left today for Mississippi."

"What?" I asked. "But he wasn't gonna leave until May. He didn't even finish school."

Sodapop shrugged. "He really didn't say too much other than he was leaving. He said he was going to go by and say goodbye to you."

"Nope," I said, pursing my lips and furrowing my eyebrows. "Whatever." Darry finished cleaning the blood off my face. He moved to the kitchen, presumably to get something to drink but I wasn't sure and I didn't really care.

I suddenly remembered the papers in my back pocket and I took them out.

"What's that?" asked Two-Bit.

"Some paper work for my mom."

"Should you be looking at it?" Darry asked from the kitchen.

I ignored him and unfolded the papers. As I looked at the dates, I saw that her hospital visits had gone back months, even years, before she'd even told me she was sick. I remembered how she'd said that she'd just found out that day she told me. My mom had lied to me. I felt like a giant storm cloud. I lit a cigarette and so did Two-Bit and even Sodapop. Sodapop rarely ever smoked. I chewed on my lip and smoked my cigarette, angry and confused and hurting all over, both mentally and physically.

Darry kept pacing around, wondering where Ponyboy was.

"Darry, for God's sake, sit down. You're making me anxious," I told him. He narrowed his eyes at me but nodded and sat down at the kitchen table.

We all looked up at the door when we heard it slam closed again. Ponyboy.

Darry jumped up in a heartbeat. "Where have you been?" he asked. When I looked to Ponyboy, I saw just how miserable he looked. Not like he'd just been beat up in a rumble kind of miserable; more like, he'd seen someone die. Right away, my heart fell.

"Ponyboy, what's the matter?"

"Johnny...he's dead," Pony said. And that confirmed what I already knew. "We told him about beatin' the socs and...I don't know, he just died." We all fell into an eerily calm silence. Johnny Cade was dead. Soda, who had sat down beside me, made a noise and I leaned against him, closing my eyes. I could feel the tears beginning to well up.

I clenched my fists tight, wanting to punch something. I shoulda pushed Johnny out before I let Dallas pull me out. I coulda helped him, too.

"Dallas is gone," Ponyboy said suddenly. "He ran out like the devil was after him. He's gonna blow up. He couldn't take it."

"So he finally broke," said Two-Bit. I mentally nodded. "So even Dally has a breaking point."

"Ponyboy," said Sodapop and I sat up. "You look sick. Sit down." He did look sick.

He backed up a little bit. "I'm okay." He shook his head again. "I don't want to sit down."

When Darry took a step toward Pony, he shook his head once more. "Don't touch me."

The phone rang then and, reluctantly, Darry turned his attention away from Ponyboy.

"Hello?" he said lowly. It was barely a two-minute phone call. "It was Dally," he said quickly. "He phoned from a booth. He's just robbed a grocery store and the cops are after him. We gotta hide him. He'll be at the lot in a minute."

My heart nearly leaped out of my chest. None of us wasted anytime. We burst out the front door and sprinted in the direction of the lot. Even Steve was quick out the door. I don't think I've ever run so fast in my life.

We got to the lot right as Dally did, his feet pounding hard against the black street. Behind him, I could hear the police sirens wailing in warning and hot on his trail. A cop car pulled up across the street from the lot and all I could hear after that was doors slamming and people shouting. Suddenly, just like he'd thought of a brilliant plan, he came to a dead stop under a street light and withdrew something from the waistband of his jeans. I remembered the heater. Oh shit. He raised the gun and, with an instant, the sound of gunfire rang in my ears. I had to wince backward in fear. I was scared of the sound that guns made.

In a crippling slow motion kind of way, Dallas Winston crumpled to the ground.

I wanted to scream, but I don't think I actually did. I fell to my knees in a dramatic way, my body wracking with violent sobs. I saw Steve stumble forward, letting out a sob, too. Sodapop caught him.

"Easy, buddy, easy. There's nothing we can do now," he said. I don't know who kneeled down next to me, but I think it might have been Two-Bit. I looked to see where Ponyboy was in time to hear Steve wail out, "Glory, look at the kid!" right before he collapsed to the ground, too.

"Shit," I gasped, forgetting that I was just crying a second ago.

"Shit, Ponyboy!" Darry cried a little louder. He ran forward and picked him up in his arms like he weighed nothing.

I was heavy getting to my feet. Darry and Soda headed off pretty quick toward the house again.

Two-Bit let me ride on his back the whole way there.

"What's gonna happen now?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said as Steve walked beside us.

"It's sure as hell never gonna be the same," said Steve and I nodded. We got back to the Curtis place and Steve sat down on the couch. When Darry and Sodapop came back out a little while later, they looked a bit more calm that when they'd taken him home.

"What's wrong with him?" I asked. "Is he gonna be alright?"

"We think so," said Darry. "Might have a concussion or something. I'm gonna call the doctor over tomorrow to look at him."

We nodded grimly.

"I don't quite know what to do," said Two-Bit. "I think I'm gonna hop on home. Call me if you need anything, Darry." Darry nodded and Two-bit walked out.

"I think I'll go home, too. It's been a long couple days. I'll be over tomorrow to help if you need it. Call me, too. If you need me."

"Thanks, Candice," Darry said.

I nodded and walked out the door. It was nice to know I could safely walk home without getting jumped.

I made it home just after eleven-thirty. I went straight to my room where I found Claire and Greg both asleep in my bed. I don't think I'd ever seen them crawl into my bed before. I grabbed some sweatpants out of my drawer and changed in the bathroom. When I crawled into bed, Clair wrapped her arm across my middle.

"I missed you," she said.

"Go to sleep, kiddo," I said and she cuddled closer to me.

"I wanna sleep next to Candice," Greg complained.

"Then come around this side and lay next to me," I said. "I'll sleep in the middle." Me and Claire scooched over and Greg crawled into bed on the other side so he could hang onto me, too. Both kids fell asleep in a matter of five minutes while I just laid there, both uncomfortable and mind racing with thoughts. This past week had been absolute chaos.

Finally, at around four in the morning, I managed to fall asleep.

When I woke up again, someone was knocking on my door.

"Hello," I called out tiredly.

Arnie walked in. "Hey. Sorry to wake you, kiddo. Someone called for you. Sodapop, I think."

"Oh," I said, yawning and rubbing my eyes. "What'd he say?"

"He said Ponyboy's alright and just has a concussion."

"Okay. Thanks for letting me know."

"Also, your boss called. I told them you were still in the hospital and couldn't come in to work."

"Shit," I grumbled. I'm gonna lose that job.

"Hey, it's okay. He said he probably didn't need you in today, anyway."

"Okay. I should get up soon and get ready to go work at the store, though."

Arnie left my room and I got up to get dressed.

When I walked out into the kitchen, Mama was sitting at the table, holding some papers.

"What's that?" I asked.

"You should know. Found them in your jeans pocket," she replied and I remembered the paperwork the doctor had given me.

"Well, you're the one that lied to me. I don't see why you're so sour with me."

"I'm not sour with you. I'm sour at myself."

"Why? 'Cause you lied?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I demanded. "Why didn't you tell me years ago?"

She shook her head. "I don't wanna talk about this right now."

"I do."

"Candice, not right now."

"Yes, right now."

"Candice Roxanne Marshall, I swear to god." She slammed her mug down so hard, it cracked.

I rolled my eyes and disappeared back into my room, where I pouted until it was time for me to get ready for work. Yeah, maybe I was being ridiculous, but you'd be mad, too, right?

When I left my room, my mom stopped me.

"I did it because I didn't want you to be heartbroken when I left."

"What?" I said.

"I thought that if I made it so you guys hated me, you wouldn't be so heartbroken when I died. You guys would be able to move on with your lives and... I don't know."

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, Mom," I said.

"I know," she replied.

So, the whole time my mom had been sick and treating her children like shit, it was because she thought we'd be better off. She gave up living her life and raising her children as long as she could like a normal parent would just so she could make her own kids not be heartbroken when he died. Jesus Christ, my mom really was sick.