Audrey brought a familiarity to me. She was my neighbor, so she reminded me of home. She reminded me of my warm bed and the worn red couch in my living room. I didn't know what home was to Audrey. I liked to believe her body was her own home for her. She was much bigger than a location.

Happiness is figurative. A metaphor. Happiness cannot be found on a beach, or in the mountains. It can only be found inside yourself. Only you can make yourself smile. Only you can think positive thoughts. Your own energy is in your hands. 

Audrey radiated depth. Intelligence. Sophistication at an early age. She was well spoken. She could tediously pick apart a piece of a literature and amaze you with her findings. I didn't tell her I thought poems and books were boring. Her speaking about them was a good source of entertainment, though. I liked being there for the show.

The last time I was on a soccer field, I was seven. I distinctly remember lying down on the prickly grass to cry over the tooth that got knocked out of my mouth from a ball to the face. Blood was leaking from the hole in my gum and onto my white jersey. My mom never did get that stain out.

It was me, Audrey, and a stack of her strange books. I was comfortably laid out on my side, my hand supporting my head. Audrey sat up straight and stretched her legs out and rested them over mine. Her stack of books sat tall and jagged, like the near end of a Jenga game.

One was in her hands. Audrey had long and thin fingers. She deemed them "alien fingers", but I liked them. They wrapped around the spine elegantly. She was on a reincarnation kick. I learned more and more everyday from her.

"Your face now resembles the person you loved in a past life." She peaked at me through the top of the beige pages, over the rim of her glasses. The glare from the setting sun took up most of the space of the lens. Her eyes fell back to her book. "It's just a myth, but I like to think it's poetic and beautiful."

"They must have been a good looking person." I ripped out pieces of grass and threw them at her. Admittedly, I was bored. But golden hour looked good on her. 

"At least they had beautiful eyes." Audrey kept her nose in her book, not a glance up at me. She flipped a page an continued reading.

"Oh, so you think my eyes are beautiful?" I playfully asked her. Again, she only glanced up at me for a moment. 

"Yes," she softly replied. 

I sat up, making sure not to block the sun. I plucked the book from her hands and set it pages down so she wouldn't lose her spot. Audrey would scold me later for doing that, but that was alright. I removed her glasses, her eyes softening as I gazed into them.

"I think yours are too." 

Her eyes trailed to the grass beneath my knees and back up to me. Indents were on either side of her nose from her thin frames. They were round and complimented her face shape well. She didn't wear them often, I wish she wore them more.

"Thank you," she murmured. Audrey kept glancing down at my lips, and I couldn't help but do the same. She tugged at them often when she read, making them more pink and plump.

I subconsciously leaned forward just a few inches, holding my gaze with her. My fingers shook as I reached out and tucked the loose strand of hair on her forehead behind her ear. Being close with Audrey made me nervous. To me, she was like a museum full of Monet paintings I wasn't allowed to touch. Only admire from afar. I wanted to break the glass casing. Shatter it and never piece it back together. 

"You're welcome," I whispered. I laid back down on the grass and she picked up her book.

I never kissed her that evening.

-

"Don't meddle, Luke." Michael ran his hands through his long hair. I walked down the grocery store aisle with him while he was on the clock and I wasn't. I gave Michael a visit here because he couldn't answer my texts quickly enough. 

"She hasn't talked about him to me in a couple weeks. Maybe they're not a thing anymore." I sighed, thinking about Audrey and Ashton. Michael glared over at me, stocking messily. 

"That doesn't mean anything. If you like her, then just tell her."

"I can't tell her if she has a boyfriend, Michael," I groaned.

"Okay, then don't tell her," he shot back.

"But I like her." I finally admitted to him. I hadn't really admitted it to myself either.

Michael turned to me, "You're an idiot. I don't even want to talk to you anymore."

The whole conversation had been one big circle. I liked her, wanted to spend more time with her, but Ashton. And God knows what would happen if he got his hands on me. I could be pulp in a second. I gave up the conversation with Michael and decided to move onto a new one.

I stared at the wrinkled navy vest covering his back. I folded my arms, "So Kennedy?"

He quickly looked over his shoulder at me, narrowing his eyes at me, then went back to his shelf. "We're great. She's great."

I raised an eyebrow, nodding. "Is she?" 

"Yeah, Luke, she is." He aggressively responded. Michael got extremely defensive over his choice of a partner, only because we spent months joking about her. Which I now feel extremely bad for.

"Hey." A chipper voice came from behind me and I quickly turned around. There stood Audrey and Ashton. Both dressed head to toe in black with matching leather jackets. 

"Hey, Audrey." I smiled down at her and met Ashton eye to eye. 

"This is Ashton, I know you guys haven't officially met yet," she said, letting go of his hand. He extended it out to me and I warily reached out.

"Good to finally meet you, man," I hesitantly said. I wondered if they had heard any of our conversation. I hope to God not. Maybe I was about to die right here in this aisle.

Ashton smiled back, but I could pick up on the weird glare he was giving me.

"Have you guys been busy?" Audrey asked to Michael. His expression showed all of the emotions he was feeling. I reminded myself to tell him to work on that later.

"No. The fair is in town for the next week and a half so we're always slow," he explained.

"Right." Audrey cleared her throat, looking between me and Michael. "We're going next week." She started up at Ashton then back to us. "Do you guys want to come? Ashton's roommate Calum is coming too."

Last I heard, Ashton didn't want to take her. It was supposed to be me taking her, not him. I guess he jumped in whenever it was convenient for him. Whenever it was convenient for him to make her happy. 

"Sure, yeah." Michael responded for the both of us. Which I hated. I hated Michael sometimes. But I guess that's what happens when you're near brothers. 

"Bring Kennedy. She'll love it." Audrey smiled at the mention of her best friend from her own mouth. They were such a strange pair, just like her and Ashton. Audrey was kind and caring, and it seemed that he wasn't.

Maybe I was just bad at first impressions. Maybe Ashton wasn't actually a douche like the vibe I got from him. I could be wrong about everything. I could be wrong about Audrey's feelings about me. Her holding my hand could be purely innocent, or her resting her legs on me, or being amazed by my shade of eyes and the shape of my lips. 

But when I thought about those things and Audrey, it was because I wanted to be more than friends.

-

My first kiss was when I was 13. Her name was Searcy. It was on the back of our middle school bus. I was the last stop and she was the second to last stop. When I bid her goodbye on the last day of school, I left a peck on her unsuspecting lips. Searcy then left for summer camp for a majority of the break and I didn't see her until high school began. Her hair was longer and much more blonde. She moved away the next year to another state. 

I've been grateful enough to avoid the mass destruction that follows a breakup. Relationships were something I never found myself in and I wasn't bothered by that. I think a lot of people perceive relationships and marriage as the best thing in the world, but I prefer to find love and happiness in other things that are much more attainable. 

I watched from my dining room window Ashton pull Audrey close on her front porch. My parents sat with me, unbeknownst of what was happening. They didn't pay much attention to the Hart's. I don't see how they didn't. 

My plate sat empty on the table. Ashton grabbed the back of Audrey's neck and pulled her into a long kiss. My arms crossed and I leaned back in my church turning away form the scene. I heard his car rev loudly, then it soon quieted as he left the neighborhood. 

I thought to myself that I should've jumped on my opportunity when I had it. Washing her car in her driveway, on the piano bench, in the middle of that soccer field. Maybe I was oblivious and in denial about not having a chance at all. She did say I had pretty eyes, though. Typically when you flatter people it's intentional. I also thought many people have eyes full of galaxies and crystal clear beaches. 

It seems that I've been wrong about her this whole time.

-

A/N:

luke is so soft i want to marry him

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