IDINA

I chop down on my waffles and ruffle Auggie's hair as Maya runs into the Matthews apartment.

"Thanks again for feeding me Topanga, my mom really appreciates it," I reply with a mouthful of waffles.

"No problem Idina. We love having you here. And tell Nicole I say hi, hopefully, we can get together soon."

"I think she'd like that very much," I smile. Maya is pacing

"All right, weirdos. Listen up and listen up good. I got like a minute before he walks through the door."

"Who's coming through the door, Maya?" Riley asks from next to Maya, and both of them sit across from me.

"Your Uncle Boing!"

"Oh, Maya, you've got to get off of this," Riley rolls her eyes.

"I think it's nice to have feelings for someone," I contradict.

"Yeah, and the reason he's not interested is because I've been playing it all wrong. See, my strategy of turning into a total nut job at the mere sight of him ain't working out as planned."

"Maya, it's nothing you're doing. It's the age difference," Riley replies.

"Three years older. Your dad married your mom. He's like 20 years older."

"We're exactly the same age," Cory says.

"What?" Riley screams.

"I just need to be casual. How's this?" She puts her feet up on the table and leans back.

"Yeah, how's this?" Topanga pushes them off as Josh walks in through the unlocked door.

"Hey, family, and friends of the family."

"Josh," I reply, and we do our handshake, a high five that turns into a hug.

"Yeah, hi. I don't care," Maya twirls her hair.

"My brother!" Josh screams.

"My brother!" Cory shouts as they hug each other. Josh sits down next to me.

"So, Riley, Idina, shouldn't we be like heading to school now, since there's nothing here for me of any interest?" Maya asks.

"Sure. Let's go Peaches," I reply standing and adjusting my maroon jacket over my pastel dress, I mess up Josh's hair, "Bye Josh," I say with a chuckle. He laughs.

"Think she'll make it out the door?" I whisper to Riley as we walk a little behind Maya. Josh stands in the middle of the living room.

"I give her 10 seconds before she jumps on his head."

"I came up here because I wanted to do this in front of all of you. I hold in my hand an envelope from New York University," Josh says. Maya abruptly stops, making Riley run into her, and I run into Riley.

"Ahh. Are we stopping?" Riley asks.

"I'm not stopping. I'm resting."

"What's in this envelope tells me where I'm gonna be for the next four years," Josh continues.

"Ohh. Are we stopping again?" I ask.

"I'm not as young as I used to be."

"Good luck, Josh," Riley says.

"I hope it goes your way," I add.

"Yeah, hi. I don't care," Maya says as we walk out the door.

"And in five, four, three, two-" I point to Maya as she pushes the door back open and she jumps on Josh's back as Riley and I run back in after her.

"Where will you be?!" She screams riding him like a bull.

"Hold on to your dignity, woman!" Riley shouts.

"Too late for that," I reply through my laughter.

"Get off me, you little ferret!" Josh yells failing at attempting to throw Maya off his back.

"Give it!"

"It's my life!"

"It affects me, too!" she grabs the envelope and takes out the letter, reading it, "Dear Applicant Boing."

"It doesn't say that!"

"This year we are only accepting married applicants."

"Maya! It doesn't say that!"

"So... we regret to inform you that..."

"Regret to inform me?"

"We regret to inform you that you will be spending the next four years in New York with Maya!"

"I got in? I got in!"

"Congratulations!" we all shout attacking Josh in a bear hug, "Yay!"

"That's so great!" I add.

"Congratulations, Buddy. I'm so proud of you," Cory pats his brother on the back after we release from our hug.

"It means a lot, Cory."

"All very exciting, I'm sure. But we have our own educations to which to attend," Maya says.

"This is so great. And my buddy who goes there invited me to his dorm tonight to meet some college friends if I got in!" Josh adds.

"Ohh. Are we stopping?" Riley and I ask.

"Nope. We're doing something else now," Maya walks over to Josh, "When is this little party? Yeah, whatever, hi, I don't care."

"Uh, 10:00 Tonight?"

"Where's this little party? Yeah, whatever, hi, I don't care."

"Greenwich Hall," Maya smiles.

"Are we smiling? I'll smile. I'll smile anytime," Riley says.

"What are we smiling about?" I ask.

"Bay window. Bay window right now!" she grabs our arms and tries to pull us to the bay window.

"We're gonna be late to school!" I say, and Riley and I push Maya out the door, "Talk on the subway!" We rush to the subway and catch it just before the doors close. We sit as Maya has a look of scheming on her face.

"Can Idina and I sleep over at your house Tonight?"

"Yay!"

"But not really?"

"Aww."

"I'm going to that party."

"Ooh, you're going to sneak out?" I ask.

"But he said it could go till 10:00," Riley asks. I roll my eyes.

"No, it starts at 10:00," I say.

"It starts at 10:00? Who even heard of such a thing?"

"That bothers you, huh?" Maya says.

"It starts at 10:00?" she reasks.

"There are going to be college girls there. And they're pretty, and they're smart, and they're witches."

"I don't like witches."

"We can't let Josh fall under their spell, Riley. I'm sneaking out."

"You will be grounded forever, and I will lose my best friend. Don't do this."

"No. I'm not gonna look back and regret the things I didn't do. I want to look back and regret the things I did do."

"You can't do this. Your conscience will always bother you," Riley says.

"Yeah, that's gonna be me," I raise my hand, "Right here baby."

"I don't have a conscience."

"Everybody does. And until yours shows up, I'm going with you."

"Me too!" Riley adds.

"Oh, really? You two ready to sneak out this window and crash a 10:00 college party with me?"

"I am so ready. But it starts at 10:00?" I sigh and walk between both of them as we walk up the stairs of school.

"See what you two should understand is that I have traits of Maya and Riley in me, but I also have unique original traits of myself, Idina, in me. I don't care about sneaking out, but I'm not a very party person. Back in Texas, I'd always skip them, well except for seventh grade. That was bar and bat mitzvah year?"

"Ba-what now?" Riley asks.

"It's a special ceremony and party at the age of thirteen in Judaism. I'm Jewish,"

"Did you have one?"

"Yup, May 28th. Anyways that was basically the only year I went to parties." We sit down and Cory walks in.

"Okay, how are we pulling this caper off?"

"Riley, if we snuck out for an adventure, I know you'd tell your parents," Maya says and I shrug.

"My mom probably wouldn't care if I snuck out, she's too busy always at the clinic,"

"I promise I won't."

"Who's talking?" Mr. Matthews asks since we are supposed to be reading our textbooks.

"We are. It's us," Riley raises her hand pointing to the three of us. We're all on the same line since Sarah asked to switch seats with me so she could be in front of her best friend, a blonde girl named Darby.

"You ain't going," Maya whispers.

"Alright, close your books. Lesson time," The class groans while Farkle says yay, and I smile. He writes something on the board, The Tell-Tale Heart.

"What is a lie? What are the effects of a lie on the human soul?"

"Why are you looking at me?" Riley asks out of nowhere

"The man who summed up the price of a lie was Edgar Allan Poe in "The Tell-Tale Heart." He points at Zay who starts to elaborate.

"So... this guy chops somebody up, hides him in the floor. He's cool for awhile, but all of a sudden, Boom, boom. Boom, boom. Boom, boom! His guilty conscience made him hear the heartbeat under the floorboards. So, he gave himself up. Some people just ain't cut out for this."

"The point of the story is that the conscience is more powerful than we realize," I summarize then stare at Maya and Riley, "Just as the truth comes out, so too will a lie."

"How will you live your lives?" Matthews asks, "How strong is your conscience?"

TWO HOURS TO 10 PM

"Before you give up on me completely, you've gotta give me a trial run at least. You gotta, Maya. You've just gotta," Riley whispers to Maya at the dinner table. I sit next to them while Topanga and Auggie sit across from us and Cory sits at the head of the table next to Maya, who groans.

"Yay. If I succeed.."

"I take you with us."

"Us?" Riley asks.

"Hey, since it's you two on the line here I'm gonna be there to support my friends. Someone's gotta be the conscience, and tonight that's me," I answer.

"And if you fail Riley..."I'm out, and out like a light."

"Okay," I see Cory checking his plate for something.

"What's he doing?"

"He loves his tots."

"Eight. Nine. 10? 10 tots. Auggie. How many you got?" Matthews asks.

"12."

"Gimme."

"Do I have to?" He replies glumly giving a tot to his father.

"He counts the tots on everybody's plate to make sure nobody gets more than him."

"That's not what I do. I know one thing for sure about life. 10 tots are one tot too little, and 12 tots are one tot too much."

"Watch this, Riley," Maya says, "Mr. Matthews, you're looking good. You wearing your hair different?"

"How would that even be possible?" I mutter.

"Thank you, Maya. A lot of work. This doesn't just happen." Maya sneaks one of his tots away and places it on Riley's plate.

"What's the matter with Riley?" Auggie asks.

"I don't know, Auggie. Riley, is there something wrong?"

"Yeah-huh. You know what? I'm not really hungry. Does anybody else want this?"

"No, Riley. It's yours. Eat it. Eat it." "What happens if I eat you?" she weirdly asks the tot.

"Riley, are you going to eat this? Or are you not going?" I ask.

"I'm going." Maya shoves the tot in Riley's mouth forcing her to chew and swallow it.

After dinner we head back to Riley room to get ready for the party. I decide to wear what I've been wearing the whole day because I'm wearing a cute pastel dress with a sweetheart neckline covered by a maroon jacket along with black wedged boots. Once the girls get ready we sit in the bay window.

"So I'm in, right?" Riley asks.

"Yes. The first thing we're gonna need is another Riley.

"Why?"

"Your parents are going to open the door to check on you, and it needs to look like you're in here."

"Maya, how could it possibly happen where anyone would ever believe that was actually Riley under the covers? I mean, who would be dumb enough to fall for-" I'm cut off by Riley when she sees Maya's fake Riley.

"How did I get over there?"

"Cause I'm the best there is at what I do," Maya replies.

"Night, night, Fake Riley. I was once as innocent as you. But now all I have to do is climb out that window and then I am just like this wicked woman over here."

"Riley, if you just let it happen, there's a chance we can actually get away with this. But I'm still debating whether I'll let that happen," they stare at me after my remarks, "Hey I won't tell, but you can bet I'm gonna make y'all feel not great about doing this."

"Right. Sure. I'm letting it happen too. First time I ever try something like this, and I am going to get away with it. You know why? Because I, like you, have no conscience."

"Right here, guys. Call me Conscience for the night." I turn out the lights.

"Great. Whatever let's go." As we crawl doing the fire escape and head towards the subway with our arms linked Riley mutters something.

"Okay, this is going to be an interesting night."

NEW YORK UNIVERSITY

"I can't believe we snuck out the window. I've never been to a college before. They're going to know I don't belong here," Riley worriedly spits out.

"Don't talk. Just act like you fit in."

"But, I want to talk so bad."

"You don't know what to say. You've never been to a college before Riles," I laugh.

"Oh yeah? Gamma Nu!" Riley shouts and she is then carried away by pink girly-girls.

"Give her back," I talk-sing to the prissy pink girls who took Riley. She returns.

"I just pledged. I don't want to wait for college to be real. I'm staying." Maya glumly stares at the floor, and I look towards the direction she had previously been scouring, and I look at her sadly once I peek into a yellow colored dorm room plastered with posters.

"We're leaving," I say rubbing Maya's back.

"Why?"

"We got here too late," she turns to see what we saw, and we move closer to the door to hear Josh's conversation with two girls, a brunette with olive skin, and a black haired girl with vampire paleness as he sits next to an African-American guy.

"So how long did it take for you guys to get comfortable around here?" he asks the girls.

"It's about the people you meet, really?" the brunette replies.

"It's nice to meet you, Jasmine," he addresses the brunette, who smiles.

"You too." Maya turns her back towards the wall and presses it against it.

"How did I think I could ever compete with them?"

"Maya... A Gamma girl does not let her sister give up at the first sign of trouble,"

"We're leaving," I reply, "now's not the time. Whatever Maya wants is what we'll do. Her decisions about Josh are her's to make, not ours."

"How do I even begin to compete with those girls in there?"

"See, Josh? Nothing to worry about at all. You're going to fit right in here," the dark-skinned guy says to Josh.

"Yeah, you've got new friends already, and a new life waiting as soon as you get here."

"Yeah, he's gone. Please take me home," Maya begs.

"Bold women make bold choices,"

"What does that even mean?" I ask.

"It's a Gamma thing. It's what we say right before we shove a sister into a bold choice," she looks at me, and I nod realizing what to do, then shove Maya through the open doorway. I see Josh's eyes widen, and then once Riley and I walk in behind her he stands.

"Maya, Riley, Idina? Why aren't you at home?" he asks coming a little closer.

"Hi Josh," I say awkwardly waving.

"You know these girls, Josh?" The guys asked.

"Yeah Andrew," so I guess the other guy's name is Andrew. He looks at me then nods his head.

"How you doing?" he flirts. I fake gag.

"We're in middle school," I reply grossed out, "And I have a boyfriend."

"Oh! They can't be here, Josh!" he shouts.

"No kidding. Riley, what are you thinking? You have to go."

"You're right, Josh. We're sorry. This was a bad idea," Maya says starting to leave. Jasmine stands and pushes Josh aside.

"Wait. Intrigued. Maya? What was your bad idea?"

"He's her Uncle Josh. I call him Uncle Boing, because look at him."

"She made me sneak out a window to come here."

"I'm here because someone's gotta be these two's conscience."

"And we snuck out because that's how much she likes him. Because she was afraid that you guys were witches, and that you would steal him from her."

"They're not witches, Riley. They're girls who don't live at home anymore and know a lot more than we do," Josh hangs his head down, I hope he realizes how much he's hurt, Maya.

"Sorry, we interrupted your evening," I add.

"Oh, I think our evening has just begun," the other girl replies.

"I think your right Charlotte," Jasmine says to the other girl, named Charlotte. Just then the leader of the pink sorority girls runs in and grabs Riley.

"Initiation!" She screams, then Riley screams as she is pulled away by the other girls.

"All right. Bring her back," Josh shouts running after them with Andrew. Jasmine pulls Maya to one side of the bed they sit on while Charlotte pulls me to the other.

"So, this boyfriend of yours tell me about him," Charlotte says.

"He's a geeky little weirdo like me, he accepts me with all my problems, he's gone through some of the hardest times of my life with me, he's saved me, he's always loved me since we met, flaws and all."

"But don't alike forces repel?"

"We aren't alike, I mean sure, maybe our personalities are sorta, but we are not alike, I promise you that. He's perfect. I'm a screw-up."

"Idina, no one is a screw-up, why do you think that?" I feel small tears.

"Because it's what my father always told me. He told me he hated me, and that he wished I was never born. He tried to get my mom to have an abortion but she refused-," I stop, and look up at her as she pulls me into a hug, "I-I don't know why I'm telling you all this."

"Because, sometimes we all need somebody to lean on," She pulls my cellphone out of my pocket, hands it to me, I unlock it for her, and she types in a few things, then hands it back, "You need anything, just wanna talk, hang out, whatever, you call or text me okay?"

"Okay," I sit up and nod my head smiling.

"Please, call me Char. I like you Idina, I see something in you that I really like."

"Thanks, Char," we then listen to Maya and Jasmine's conversation.

"So, Maya, what do you see in this guy? How long have you had a crush on him?" Jasmine asks.

"It's not a crush! It isn't. Maybe I'm not as old as you guys, but I know what I feel."

"Hey, I've never done anything like what you're doing, it makes you pretty grown-up to me."

"I just thought if I did something like this, then he might take me seriously and then maybe we could come to some kind of understanding." Josh walks through the door with Riley and Andrew. Riley sits down between Maya and I while Andrew sits on the other bed.

"We have an understanding. I stay here, you go home," he replies.

"Sit down," the college girls command. Josh abides plopping down next to Andrew, and the older girls stand along with Maya as Riley and I still sit on the other bed.

"I'm just stupid, right?"

"Hey. I would love if somebody did something stupid for me," Andrew pipes in.

"Yeah, it's not the big gestures that we do for other people that help us grow up but the small choices you make for yourself."

"Ohh. Maya told you guys about her crush," Riley concludes.

"It's not a crush!"

"Maya, can you name one thing you know about him that you love?"

"He's part of your family, Riley. I love your family."

"And we love you. What about Josh in particular?" Josh sits up a little straighter.

"Yeah, Maya, you don't- you don't even really know me," Maya looks down, then smiles looking up at him.

"Yeah. You're right. I don't pay attention to anything you do. I don't know that you drive from Philadelphia to New York, not even looking if you got into NYU just so you could open your acceptance letter in front of your older brother because you love him, and you want him to be proud of you. And I see the way you are with Auggie. A little kid who looks up to you who you always have time for. And I know that even though you'd rather stay here with these girls, you're going to walk Riley and me home. Because that's just the kind of guy you are," she walks closer to him, "I like you."

"Dude, what is wrong with you?" Andrew slaps Josh's side.

"She's three years younger than me!" He shouts trying to stand up. The girls stare at him.

"No! No, because I sat down the first time, and I feel like if I sit down, this time, it won't reflect well on me."

"Yeah? How's this reflect on you? If you don't sit down, I'm gonna tell every girl on campus that you belong to the bravest girl that I have ever met. I'll make sure that no one goes out with you the whole time you're here," Jasmine says with an ultimatum.

"Okay. I'll sit down. But only because I want to," he sits trying to seem confident.

"Maya, he's 17 and you're 14?" the blonde nods to the older girl, "That might seem like a really big age difference now, but here in college, we learn a really difficult math. And when you get here, you'll be 18 and he'll be 21. And the good news is that he'll be smarter because he'll be in college. And he just may be smart enough to look at you differently." there's silence for a moment before Josh stands.

"Okay. Thank you guys for figuring out my entire life for me. But this has been the worst party of my life," he looks at us, "Come on. Let's go."

"Oh, you're leaving?" Jasmine asks with fake surprise in her tone.

"Yeah," he smiles at us, "I'm gonna walk them home." He pushes us out the door. While in the hall, I pull Riley to the side for a moment. She huffs at me.

"Don't you start with me. I feel great, and there is nothing that you can say-"

"Oh, and you feel great because you had the best night of your life?" I inquire.

"Yeah," she smiles goofily.

"And you can't wait to tell your parents?"

"Yeah,"

"If only you hadn't lied to them and snuck out the window," I put my hand on her shoulder, "Because now you can't ever tell them." I move my shoulders up and down in an 'oh well' movement, then walk after Maya and Josh.

"Oh, yeah," Riley frowns, I hear her behind me.

THE NEXT DAY

Maya finishes braiding my hair to the side in the hallway as we sit on the bench before we stand up to get to class. She ties it with a dark blue ponytail that matches my dark blue leggings that mold to my legs under my floral skirt. Purple ballet flats warm my feet and a black shirt covers my upper body with neon rainbow words that read DJ Got Us Falling In Love Again. Riley walks out of the bathroom, nervously cracking her knuckles. As we sit at our desks Riley asks a question.

"This is just how you live? You just do bad stuff and you get away with it?"

"Is something bothering you, Darling?" Maya asks back.

"Can I step in now?" I raise my hand addressing Riley.

"Okay. Go ahead," she sighs.

"Your father trusts you. Your mother trusts you. Your brother lied for you. And did you once stop to think about how your actions have affected other?" Riley looks down ashamed as Cory enters. She raises her hand.

"What happened to the guy? The Tell-Tale Heart guy? What happened when his conscience got the better of him?

"Oh, the 'boom, boom' guy. Yeah, he went crazy," Zay answers.

"Crazy? What do you mean went crazy?"

"He freaked out from a guilty conscience. Classic case," I finish.

"How do you get your conscience to stop making you feel guilty?

"Well, the best way is to not do the things you shouldn't do, but if you do something wrong...You have to understand, that's just your conscience trying to get you to take responsibility for it," Cory says.

"Why?"

"Because Riley, when you take responsibility for the things you do, that's when you finally begin to grow. No one can do that for you, only you can. And no matter how hard someone may push you to do it, at the end of the day only you can," I profess.

"So, listening to your conscience helps you grow?"

"Yeah. You might want to try it sometimes," our teacher ends. I tap Maya on the shoulder and she turns to me. I wave my hand.

"Well, hello, Maya. It's been a long time. You ready for me?"

"I think I finally am."

AFTER SCHOOL

"I want to tell my parents what I did."

"Good choice. I'm proud of you Riles. Mature thing to do," I pat her on the back as we sit in the bay window.

"Too late," Maya says.

"I want to tell them how much I'm looking forward to going to college someday." Topanga and Cory enter.

"Because you loved those college girls you met there?"

"They were so great...What?"

"Because one day you hope to be those kinds of girls yourselves?"

"You knew. They knew. Parents know everything," Riley smiles.

"No. Someone told us." Josh enters and lingers by the doorway.

"I just wanted to say goodbye. Very interesting visit."

"Josh, you told them," Riley concludes. Josh sits down on the bench at the end of Riley's bed.

"Told them what, Riley? That nothing happened? Why would I tell them nothing happened if nothing happened? Why would I tell them that?"

"It's okay, Josh," Riley looks at me. I put my hands up surrendering.

"Hey, this was a choice you two needed to make," I point at Riley and Maya, "I already texted my mom when we were on the subway there. She knows I'm a good kid and would only do stuff to protect my friends. She promised she wouldn't tell your parents because she knew I would get you to. 

"Idina you are a great conscience to these two."

"Thank you, Mr. Matthews. Means a lot to me,"

"Maya told us. Maya told us everything."

"Why?" Riley asks. Josh looks at us and smiles.

"I wouldn't rat you out, Riley. Sorry, Cory. Guess I'm still your little brother, huh?"

"No, Josh. You were so looking forward to making new friends at that party. But you left. Just to make sure that Riley, Maya, and Idina got home safely. You're not so little anymore, Josh. I guess I have to stop looking at you that way."

"Thanks. Mean a lot to me."

"So, Maya, why did you tell them?" I ask.

"It was a choice I made for myself. I thought it was the grown-up thing to do."

"Good choice Maya. I'm glad I had some affect on you."

"It was the grown-up thing to do. You're not so little anymore, Maya. I guess I have to stop looking at you like that."

"Thanks. Means a lot to me." Maya smiles. The Matthews look at their daughter.

"Riley, are you ever going to pull something like this again?"

"No. Even though it may have been a great night, it isn't worth how terrible I feel for not telling you."

"Riley, we're happy that you liked your college experience," Topanga smiles.

"And we're sad to give you a grounding experience. Two weeks," Cory ends. Riley looks down, but then nods understanding. Auggie runs into the room and jumps onto his teen uncle's lap.

"Auggie. You are grounded for one week for not telling us your sister snuck out of the house," Topanga adds.

"How's that a bad thing? I was protecting her."

"No 'buts' Bubba," Cory says. Maya and I stand.

"Well, Maya I had think you've got a conscience of your own to listen to now," I say smiling at her.

"Yeah, okay," she looks at her shoulder, "See you guys in a year!" she takes a deep breath, and walks out the door.

My Day In The Life Of A Conscience

People have it easy, they don't always have to listen to their consciences. They get to make the decisions while the conscience just stays a guiding hand that has their best interest at heart, and the truth. I'm proud of Maya, she finally grew back her conscience. She's a little firecracker who's burning, but now she's being lit by the right forces. You know at this rate, maybe some people  will finally realize that age is just a number, what's more, important is the age of your heart.