"Crawl inside this body—find me where I am most ruined, love me there."

•────•°•❀•°•────•

Max's POV

"That's not what happened, that's not how it happened—" Nikolas started to speak, his voice grating, every word sharp with frustration. Bewilderment flickered across his face, his jaw tightening as if the weight of my accusations was more than he could bear.

I shook my head, unwilling to listen to excuses and explanations, "I should leave, I don't know why I even came here,"  I muttered, my pulse pounding in my ears, ready to push past him and get out. To where? I had no fucking clue, just as far as possible from him. That's how it should be, how it was always supposed to be.

Nikolas's hand grabbed my shoulder, firm enough to stop me from moving. "You're not going anywhere," He grated out, his eyes hard as they held mine. "Let me go," I shot back, my jaw ticking, angry and furious at everything in my life as I wrenched myself free from his grip.

He was fast to crowd my space again, towering over me, making it impossible to escape or take one more step further. He shook his head, "No, I won't, you're staying and you're going to listen to me for once," He said, ever so strictly, his tone leaving no place for arguments.

I held his gaze with the same hard look, our gazes merging into a war that would most probably leave me defeated, "You think that I didn't want to stay, that I didn't want to be there for every day of your life, to watch you grow up, that it didn't kill me every time I had to think of how far away from me you were, that there wasn't a single day that I didn't think about you, that it didn't suck like hell that the first time I saw you, you were already one year old," Frustration seeped into his words as he tried to explain to me something I couldn't and wouldn't understand, "You think I wanted any of that?"

"You're my kid, Max," He said, the words scratching at his throat as they seeped out, as if it was the very first time he was saying it out loud, "My kid," He shook his head, "But I can't come now and claim the title of your father because I wasn't the one who was there for you, I am not the one who stayed up when you were sick, nor the one who taught you how to walk, how to ride a bike or throw a ball, I wasn't, but Alex was, and he didn't do it because he had to, it's because he wanted to do, it's because he is your father, not me."

For a moment, the shield I'd put up faltered. I swallowed hard, but stayed silent, fists clenched at my sides, "You are not a burden, Max, you never were," He said, "I left, I stayed away because it was the only right thing I could do to your mother after everything I made her go through," He explained, "I had to do right by you and your parents, I had to be selfless for once, even though it sucked like hell, but I had to," He said.

I pressed the back of my head against the wall, wanting to push the weight of his words away. Still, they clung to me, sinking in deeper as he carried on, "It was the price that I had to pay," His voice lowered as he muttered those words, a bit of agony lurking in the corner of his eyes as he looked at me—really looked at me, as if he could see right into the deepest parts of me.

"I didn't get all of this easily, Max," He muttered, his gaze flickering around the room—around this house, this home, this life and family he'd built that I hated, "Nothing was ever easy in my life and it took a lot, hell a lot for me to be where I am here today, it took a lot for me to build this, to taste a bit of normalcy after years of never having that," He shook his head, "And I am not saying this to play the victim role, because I wasn't a victim either but I need you to know, to believe that I didn't just throw you behind and move on with my life, it wasn't like that."

"And I need you to get yourself back together and stop hurting your father like this," He added, his words had my eyelids drop down as I tried to make sense of the storm brewing within me, "He is worried about you all the time, and he loves you so much, I don't know how you could ever doubt that," He added, the deepness and rawness of his words hitting me where I am so weak, "So, if you want to keep me as the villain in your story, keep me that, hate me, but you need to stop hurting Alex over it. He didn't do anything wrong."

I clenched my teeth, trying to keep it all in—this anger, this hate that felt way too big for me, this hurt that I was not equipped to deal with. But his words shattered something in me. My eyelids glided open just as one tear slipped past the threshold and trickled down my cheek.

Nikolas's gaze dimmed as it followed that single tear, his expression softening in a way that made my chest ache. He took a breath, quieter now, and leaned in closer, "I know it's fucked up. I know it hurts, believe me, I do," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, but full of a pain I hadn't expected, "But you have something I never had. Something Alex never had. You have parents who love you selflessly, who would give anything for you."

His hand reached up, cupping the side of my neck, his touch gentle, like he was trying to ground me, to hold me steady in the storm that raged inside, "Don't take that for granted, Max."

His words pierced through the armor I had barely managed to keep intact, slipping deeper than I'd ever anticipated. Something inside me cracked, fragile, and dangerous, threatening to split wide open if I let it. I couldn't afford to break, not now. I swallowed hard, forcing the lump in my throat down with a shaky breath. Straightening myself, I pulled away, and his hand fell, leaving a coldness in its absence.

I turned my gaze away, unable to look at him, unwilling to let him see the wreckage behind my eyes. My voice came out low, "Can you please leave me alone?"

He didn't respond right away. When I finally met his gaze, his eyes held a quiet understanding, a sadness that mirrored my own. He nodded, slowly, as if reluctant to let go. "Okay," he murmured, his voice quiet, almost gentle, his concern cutting through, "But don't leave. It's late, okay?"

I nodded in return, too drained, too exhausted to do anything more.

Satisfied, he turned and left me standing there, alone. The silence wrapped around me, thick and unbearable. I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding, but it came out ragged, and uneven. My chest tightened painfully, as if my lungs couldn't expand enough to fill the emptiness inside. My back crashed into the wall, and slowly, my legs gave way. I slid down to the floor, pulling my knees up to my chest, curling into myself, trying to contain myself together.

I pulled out my phone, unlocked it, and went to my contacts. My eyes hovered over one name, one word—Dad. I stared at it, my heart aching, my thumb frozen over the name for far too long. I wanted to call him, to hear his voice, to just know that he was there. My eyes drifted to the time, it was late, too late. The thought of disturbing him at this hour gnawed at me.

With a heavy sigh, I locked the phone again and pushed it back into my pocket. I leaned my head back against the wall, eyes drifting shut, letting the silence swallow me whole.

•────•°•❀•°•────•

Next morning

Valerie's POV

I spotted him again.

Trailing behind me, blending effortlessly into the sea of faces, practically invisible if you didn't know he was there. Ever since Max casually dropped the bomb that his uncle-slash-father had assigned a bodyguard to watch over me, I'd been hyper-aware, scanning every crowd like I was in some spy movie. And finally, I found him—the same guy who saved me from that homeless man a while ago.

God, this is so weird.

Honestly, what even is my life anymore? When did things take such a bizarre turn? I'll never understand.

I veered right, ducking around the corner of a building and positioning myself in wait. As soon as I saw him getting closer, I stepped out quickly, popping up right in front of him. Even if he was startled by my abrupt movement, he didn't show it in the slightest. His face didn't even twitch. Not a flicker of surprise, no widened eyes—nothing. I grinned, trying to break the ice.

"Hey," I said, with the enthusiasm of someone extending a peace offering to a brick wall.

His face remained stoic, almost emotionless, expressionless, and without a word, he moved past me and kept walking, as if my very existence was part of the background scenery. The hell?

"Uh, excuse me, hold on!" I called after him, jogging to catch up. I skidded to a halt in front of him again, blocking his path. He stopped short, probably to avoid knocking me flat on my face.

I gave him another bright smile, undeterred. "So, um, I know who you are. I mean, Max told me," I explained, waiting for any sign of recognition. Nothing. Was his face even capable of movement? "You know, that uh...what's his name, uh yeah, that Nikolas sent you to keep an eye on me," I added quickly, before he could pull another disappearing act, "And I just wanted to say thanks—for, you know, saving me that time before."

I extended my hand toward him, my smile cranking up a notch, "I'm Valerie, by the way."

His eyes flicked to my hand for a split second, then back to my face. For just a moment, I thought I saw a tiny shift, like maybe his face was considering forming an expression. But nope—whatever micro-reaction I imagined was gone just as fast. Without acknowledging me at all, he sidestepped and resumed his silent march away.

I stood there, mouth open, arms flopping dramatically at my sides. Is this guy for real?

Huffing in exasperation, I sprinted to catch up again, falling into step beside him. "So, uhm, I work at this coffee shop, right here. Oh, but you probably already know that," I chuckled awkwardly, trying to lighten the mood—or, you know, create one. "How about you come inside, and I'll get you a coffee as a thank you? It's the least I can do."

I paused right by the shop's entrance, and naturally, he paused too, like he was programmed to stop wherever I did. Maybe he was more comfortable lurking outside because I'd never seen him step foot inside before. "Uh, what's your name?" I asked, urging him to speak. Is he mute?

His eyes met mine, steady and unblinking, and instead of offering me a simple answer like a normal person, he deadpanned, "I'm not supposed to interact with you." His voice was deep, with a hint of an accent that made him sound even more intimidating. So that's what he was going with? Mysterious bodyguard code of silence? Great.

"Oh," I mumbled, my eyes darting around like I could magically find a response in the air. I leaned in, lowering my voice like we were in on some grand conspiracy, "Well, I won't tell if you won't," I teased, flashing a mischievous grin.

Nothing. Zero reaction. Jesus Christ, does this guy even blink?

"Come on," I insisted, "just a cup of coffee? I mean, it's early, and you're stuck guarding me. That has to suck," I shifted, suddenly feeling a little bad, "I'm always on the move, dragging you all over the place. No wonder you look like you hate me."

"Just one coffee," I added again, "I promise I'll leave you alone after that. Scout's honor."

Finally, something changed. A few lines formed between his brows, almost like his face was trying to remember how to move. My eyes lit up, and I couldn't help myself, "Oh my god, your face works!"

His frown deepened, and I pointed triumphantly at his forehead, "See? Progress! Now, coffee?"

He sighed, long and deep, like he had been holding it in for hours, then, to my utter shock, he stepped forward and opened the glass door for me. Internally, I did a little fist pump, keeping my cool as I walked in, with him right behind me.

Aubrey popped out of the kitchen as soon as she heard us enter, "Morning, Val—" Her eyes immediately zeroed in on my silent companion, all six-foot-something of him. I turned to him with a bright smile, "Just sit wherever you feel comfortable. I'll be back in a second," I said as I darted over to the counter where Aubrey was waiting, her eyes still glued to him.

"Morning," I whispered, trying to act normal.

She leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a whisper, "Who the hell is that?"

"Uh, kind of my—bodyguard," I mumbled making her eyes widen, "I'll explain it later," I mumbled, shaking my head at the absurdity of it all.

"He is so very hot, though," Audrey said with a low whistle as she peeked at him from behind the counter.

I rolled my eyes, tying my apron around my waist, "Yeah, but his facial expression doesn't work, and he barely talks."

Her eyebrow shot up, intrigued, "A hot guy who doesn't talk nonsense? Sign me up. Sounds like my dream man," She shamelessly peeked around me to ogle him some more.

I snorted, shaking my head at her words. "What are you doing?" she asked as I started the espresso machine.

"Making him a coffee," I replied.

She nudged me aside with a grin, "Oh, no you're not. Let me do it. I got this," she said with a wink.

I laughed under my breath at her antics as she shooed me away, "Go hide in the back, study or do your homework or something," she said, already pulling out the coffee mugs. I took the chance presented ahead of me and sat on the nearest chair, pulling out my notebook to revise for my upcoming quiz before the shop got crowded with customers.

I watched Aubrey fuss with her hair, the few purple strands she had gleaming under the shop lights as she smoothed down her blouse, pulling it lower in an attempt to show off her neckline. I snorted, unable to help myself. She spun around, narrowing her eyes at me, "Shush," she said before grabbing the coffee mug and strutting towards the man.

I bit my lip to stifle a laugh—Aubrey never acted like this. The man's gaze flicked up from the table as she set the mug down in front of him, her voice soft and sweet as she talked. His face, however, remained as blank as ever, with no visible reaction as she flashed him her best smile. His eyes darted over to me, and I nearly cracked up at the pleading look I swear he shot my way.

I gave him a guilty smile, silently apologizing for what he was being subjected to. Aubrey, unaffected, plopped into the seat across from him. The poor guy's frown deepened as if he was trying to figure out how he ended up in this situation. His eyes scanned her face, and then drifted up to her vibrant hair, probably wondering if this was some sort of test or something.

Just as I was about to save him, the bells above the door chimed. I glanced over to see Max walking in. The moment our eyes met, his expression softened, his lips curved into a small smile, and mine mirrored his almost instinctively. I stood up, moving back toward the counter as he approached. But before he could stop in front of me, his attention shifted to Aubrey's voice. His brows knitted together in confusion as he glanced over at her.

He leaned down slightly, whispering to me, "What's Aubrey doing with Leo?"

"So that's his name," I muttered, shaking my head with amusement. "She's got a crush, apparently," I chuckled.

Max's frown deepened, and he arched an eyebrow, "Wait till Cole hears about this."

I couldn't help but smile, already imagining Cole's dramatic reaction.

Max looked back at me, his focus softening as he studied my face. My smile fell short, the exhaustion lining his eyes tugged at my heart beyond measure. Concerned, I reached out, wrapping my hand around his, "Come on, let's go sit in the back," I said softly, feeling the need for some privacy to figure out what was bothering him.

I closed the door behind us, the soft click of the latch sealing us in the quiet. Guiding Max to one of the chairs, I watched him sink into it, his body heavy with exhaustion. Before sitting down as well, I stepped closer, my gaze lingering on his face. He tilted his head up, his eyes meeting mine, the sharpness of his usual gaze now softened by weariness. Without thinking, I rested my hand against his cheek, feeling the familiar warmth of his skin.

"You look so tired," I whispered, my voice filled with concern. The last few days were clearly taking their toll on him, and I could see it etched in the lines of his face.

He leaned into my touch, his eyelids fluttering shut for a moment before he nodded slowly. "Didn't sleep," he murmured, the sound of his voice low and rough.

I brushed my thumb gently along his cheek, my brows furrowing tighter with worry. "Why don't you come and stay with me tonight?" I suggested softly, desperate to offer him any kind of comfort, any relief from the weight he was carrying.

His lips twitched into a small smile, and his eyes slowly opened, revealing the chaotic storm of green beneath his lashes, "As tempting as your offer is," he began, "and it really pains me to say no...but I should finally go home today."

I let my hand glide along his face, my other arm slipping around his neck as my fingers tangled gently in his hair, "Yeah, you should talk to them," I encouraged softly. He nodded, but there was a brief flicker of hesitation in his eyes.

"But," he added, his lips curving mischievously, "if that offer extends to tomorrow, I might just take you up on it."

A soft smile tugged at my lips. "Yeah, sure. Tomorrow."

He exhaled a long, tired sigh, before leaning forward and tugging me closer, "Come here," he mumbled, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me between his legs. His head nestled against me, his cheek pressed to my chest and I wrapped my arms around his neck as he melted into the comfort of my embrace.

I brushed my fingers through the back of his hair, feeling the strands slip between my fingers. "Whatch wong?" I said with a playful baby voice.

"I am a tired baby, love me," He murmured tiredly, his head pressing into my chest and nestling there.

I chuckled softly, continuing to stroke his hair, wishing I could do more for him, wishing I could take away the exhaustion I saw in his face. He'd done so much to protect me, to make sure I was okay, he went up and beyond, and here I was, feeling helpless in the face of his problems.

A low satisfied sigh escaped him, and he pressed his head more firmly into my chest, "God, you have the comfiest boobs ever," he muttered, his words catching me off guard.

I let out a low laugh, playfully smacking the back of his head, "Shush, you are a baby, you can't say bad words like bewbs."

He edged back just slightly, tilting his head up with that teasing tired grin still on his face, "What can I say? I'm a naughty kid."

His hair was tousled, his eyes hazy with exhaustion, but even now, they were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, a wild mix of jade and moss that never failed to captivate me.

I smiled down at him, cupping his face gently, "Uhuh, wouldn't have you any other way," I whispered before leaning down, pressing my lips to his in a slow, sweet kiss, trying to take his mind off the present, but soon that innocent kiss deepened into something more intense.

Max's hands, once resting gently at my waist, tightened their hold, pulling me closer with an urgency I hadn't expected. I could feel the tension radiating from him, his body craving something—an outlet, a release—from the heaviness that clung to him like a shadow.

Before I realized it, his hands slid down to my thighs, pulling me effortlessly into his lap. I let out a soft yelp, my fingers tangling in his hair as I fell into his lap and straddled him, our faces inches apart, breaths mingling in the quiet room.

He crashed his lips against mine again, his kiss fierce and full of need. It wasn't gentle anymore; it was raw, as if he was pouring all the pain and exhaustion he'd been carrying into this moment. His hands gripped my neck, guiding me closer to him, as if he could erase the distance between us by pulling me deeper into his embrace. I felt the strength in his arms, the way they held me so tightly, like I was his only anchor in this big wide sea.

I responded with just as much fervor, my arms winding around his neck, fingers trailing through his hair, down to his shoulders, trying to hold on as his lips moved against mine with the kind of desperation I was feeling from him for the first time.

I could feel his heartbeat pounding against mine, the rhythm fast and unsteady, matching the wild pace of our kiss. His breath hitched as I shifted in his lap, my body pressing closer to his. His chest was heaving, trying to contain himself, teetering on the edge of control and flailing.

When we broke the kiss, his lips brushed against mine, soft and warm, "Valerie," he whispered, my name escaping his lips like it was a lifeline, laced with a feeling I couldn't quite name but felt deep in my core.

I edged back just a fraction, looking at his face, cupping the side of it, "What can I do," I said, "Tell me, and I'll do anything," To make him feel better, I was ready to do anything. I hated this helpless weak feeling, that I was incapable of offering him anything to help...

His voice was softer now, almost fragile, "Can you promise me one thing?" he whispered, the vulnerability in his tone breaking something inside me.

I swallowed hard, nodding as my thumb gently brushed his cheek, "Anything."

"Promise me," he began, his voice catching just slightly, "that I won't lose you again."

His words hit me like a blow to the chest, and suddenly it felt like the air was too thick to breathe. My heart felt so heavy, and I suddenly felt like I was tied down, shackled to something, to a past, to a trauma that hindered my ability to give him such a promise. To be honest, I didn't want to lose him either. Those past weeks without him were so hard. He had occupied such a big portion of my insides, of my thoughts. I was starting to feel things for him, things I never thought I was capable of.

He brought light and colors into my life again. He made me smile, laugh, feel something other than the numbness I'd grown accustomed to. With him, I wasn't broken, not completely. He gave me pieces of myself back, if only for fleeting moments, and those moments made me believe I could be whole again.

I wanted to give him the promise he so desperately needed. I wanted to be everything he asked for and more.

Before I could make up my next thoughts, he knocked the air out of my lungs when he added, his voice a scorching whisper that shattered something within me, "I love you, Valerie," He admitted. His eyes locked onto mine, and I could see everything—the fear, the hope, the rawness of his emotions, laid bare for me to see, "I really do, and I don't know how it happened, and I can't explain these feelings inside me. All I know is that I've never felt anything like this, ever."

I felt all the blood rush to my brain. I felt the world tilt beneath me, as if someone had poured boiling water through my veins, rendering every part of me useless. My heart pounded so hard it hurt, and I sat there, frozen, every inch of my body malfunctioning under the weight of his words.

"I didn't expect this, I didn't plan it," he continued, his voice soft but intense, his hands gripping my waist as if afraid I might slip away, "But now that I've found it—now that I've found you—I can't imagine a world without you anymore."

He lifted his hand again, this time brushing his fingers along my jaw, his eyes never leaving mine, "When I am with you, life feels good, better, so much better. My inside feels lighter, like everything could be fixed, like nothing could ever break me. You make me feel alive, Valerie. And I'm terrified—terrified of what happens if I lose you."

My fingers trembled over his face, my inside shook with a force that was both foreign and familiar and I didn't—didn't know. I didn't know what to feel, what to say, what to think, or even how to breathe...

Before I could process anything, noises and footsteps echoed from outside, forcing me to abruptly tear myself away from Max just as the door burst open. I barely managed to steady myself on shaky legs, and Max straightened as well, just as Cole barged in, eyes narrowing with exaggerated anger, "You two are so going to pay for what you made me go through yesterday," he grumbled, pointing an accusatory finger between us.

I couldn't even focus on his words, my mind still spinning from what had just happened moments ago. Max's confession lingered in the air, his voice, his eyes—everything about him had rocked and crashed my world at once.

Cole's voice snapped me back to the present, "Four hours!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up dramatically. "I was stuck with her for four long hours. Do you have any idea how excruciating that was?" He shot a glare at Max, who merely rolled his eyes, casually brushing a hand through his hair like he hadn't just spilled his heart out to me moments before.

"You deserved it," Max said coolly.

Cole's eyes narrowed even further, his frustration palpable, "Yeah, my bad for trying to get you two together when you were already together this whole time," he shot out, arms crossing over his chest. He turned his glare toward me, "And if your Barbie friend ever so much as looks at me again, I'm filing a sexual harassment case!"

"Cole, shut up," Max dismissed him as he stepped closer to me. His arm slid around my waist, his hand resting on my lower back as he gently guided me toward the door. I followed, still reeling, every part of me on autopilot as Max led us out of the room, giving Cole a light shove in the process.

We stepped out into the coffee shop, and just when I thought my heart couldn't take anymore, Max leaned down, his lips brushing the side of my head, planting the softest kiss there. "Relax," he whispered, his warm breath sending shivers down my neck.

Relax? How could I possibly relax after everything he'd just said?

I looked up at him hesitantly, trying to keep my composure. His lips curved into the faintest smile, and the look in his eyes—it was filled with such reassurance, such quiet certainty, as if telling me everything would be okay. For a fleeting moment, I felt it; that things really could be okay, that I could fully trust him and surrender my heart to him with no consequences.

"I only told you that because I felt like I had to, I don't want to hide anything from you, Valerie, not even my feelings," He added, his voice reserved only for me, while Cole was rather occupied with something else, "Don't feel like you have to say anything back," He added, and his words broke my heart even more, "I just want you to know that I'll always—" His thumb brushed the corner of my lips gently, "Always be here for you, okay?"

Somehow, maybe it was his words, the warmness in them, the understanding in his eyes but I finally relaxed, my lips lifting up enough to smile, "Okay," I whispered.

His smile grew a bit, and before I could think, he leaned in, pressing the sweetest kiss to my lips. It was so tender, so heartwarming, that I felt tears prickling at the edges of my eyes.

Cole interjected on our moment again, "Hey, you two, who is that guy Aubrey with?" He blurted out, pointing across the shop. His brows furrowed in confusion as he watched Leo trying—and failing—to gracefully make his exit.

I gave him a clueless shrug before I glanced over, stifling a laugh as Aubrey stood there, still talking. Leo, on the other hand, looked like a cornered animal, "Look at how she's staring at him," Cole muttered, crossing his arms with an annoyed frown, "She never looked at me like that."

I moved closer to Cole, resting a hand on his arm, feigning sympathy, "Yeah, maybe it's a sign you should move on from your delusional age-difference crush," I teased, a hint of mockery in my tone, knowing his only goal ever was to get her in bed.

Cole turned to me, eyes narrowing in mock indignation, before flicking over to Max. "Control your girlfriend, will you?"

Max shoved him in response, trying to silence him and Cole stumbled, rubbing his arm, "Damn you, when did you become this strong," He grumbled.

Meanwhile, across the shop, Leo was clearly desperate to escape. Aubrey kept talking, her hand moved and brushed his arm. Leo's eyes flickered to the spot she touched, his frown deepening as he muttered, "I should go."

His gaze met Max's from across the room, a silent conversation passing between them. Max gave him a subtle nod, and Leo took the opportunity to leave, walking out of the coffee shop and probably planning to never come back again. I bet he's thinking of changing careers at the moment.

Aubrey returned to our side, her face flushed and her smile giddy as she approached. Cole shot her an exaggerated look of betrayal, "How could you betray me like that?" he whined, his tone dripping with melodrama.

Aubrey let out an exasperated sigh, clearly not in the mood for his antics, "Leave me alone, Cole, it's too early for me to deal with you," she muttered, heading toward the kitchen.

Cole trailed after her like a puppy, "Hey, it's okay, I'm willing to forgive you," he called after her, his voice pitiful. The kitchen door slammed shut in his face, leaving him standing there.

He turned back to us, his frown quickly replaced by an annoyed scowl, "I hate you both," he grumbled.

I leaned further into Max's embrace, "We're never hearing the end of this, are we?" I said with a small smile.

He kissed the top of my head, "Not a chance."

•────•°•❀•°•────•

Max's POV

I unlocked the door and stepped into the house, the familiar scent of home enveloping me like a long-lost embrace, though it did little to lift the weight that still sat heavily on my chest. All the unsaid words, the feelings I had pushed aside—they clung to me, dragging my exhaustion deeper into my bones. My lack of sleep, my half-hearted attempts at eating, all of it had drained me. But still, this was where I needed to be.

As I closed the door behind me, I looked around, feeling the silence settle around me like a blanket. Then I heard it—soft footsteps coming closer. I turned just in time to see my mom take a pause a few meters away from me, a bit of relief crossing her face, though her eyes still held a familiar sadness. A kind of hurt I recognized instantly—hurt for me.

"Hey," she greeted softly, her voice so gentle it tugged at my weak heart. The pain in her eyes was subtle but deep, like she had been carrying it for far too long. It made something tighten in my chest.

"Hey," I replied, a small smile tugging at my lips despite the heaviness I felt. I moved toward her, and without thinking, I pulled her into a hug, holding on like I hadn't seen her in years. A soft, shaky breath escaped her as she wrapped her arms around my neck, her fingers slipping into the back of my hair, gently pulling me closer, like she was scared I'd disappear if she didn't hold on tight enough.

"Never leave like this again," she murmured, her voice breaking just a little. I edged back slightly, just enough to see her face, but she didn't let go.

"I won't," I assured her.

She squeezed me tight before finally stepping back, though not before giving me the once-over with those laser-focused mom eyes. And just like that, her frown deepened, hands landing on her hips in classic mom mode. I knew what was coming, but there was no escape.

"You look terrible," she blurted out, her voice dripping with concern, her eyes narrowing as she examined my face, like I was a puzzle she had to solve.

I let out a tired chuckle, shaking my head. "Why, thank you," I muttered sarcastically.

She huffed, stepping even closer, peering at me like she was searching for more evidence of my neglect, "Have you even eaten anything the past few days? You're all skin and bones, Max!"

"Mom, come on," I groaned, raising an eyebrow, "I'm fine. Really."

"Fine? Fine?" She cut me off, her eyes wide with disbelief. Before I could protest, she was already fussing over me, "I am pretty sure you haven't slept, eaten, or taken your meds, even though you promised me," She pressed a hand to her forehead, as if I alone was giving her a headache, "God, you and your sister and father will drive me mad one day, I am sure," She carried on, taking the chance presented to whine and rant.

I smiled as I gazed at her and Nikolas's words echoed true in my head. Despite the ugliness of our situation, I still have this. I have her. I have parents who'd do anything for me. I should learn to never take that for granted.

She stopped mid-rant when she realized I was just standing there, gazing at her. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously, "What?"

My smile widened, "I love you so much, you know that, right," I mumbled.

Her frown melted instantly, her eyes glossing over with unshed tears as she moved toward me, cupping my face in her hands, "I love you, too," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. She kissed my cheek, her fingers brushing gently against my skin. "Oh, my beautiful boy," she murmured, shaking her head like she couldn't quite believe how much love she held for me.

And then, just like that, the moment shifted. She edged backward, grabbed my hand, tugging me toward the kitchen with sudden determination, "Now, you're going to sit down and eat," she ordered, not giving me a second to protest, her tone turning stern again, "And you'll let me take care of you. No complaints."

I let her lead me, too tired and too amused to argue, sinking into the kitchen chair with a sigh. She busied herself around the kitchen, pulling out pots and pans, and reheating whatever meal she had prepared earlier.

As she moved, I glanced around the room. The house was quiet. Too quiet. "Where's Dad?" I asked, the absence of his usual presence very noticeable.

Mom paused, letting out a deep sigh as she turned to look at me. "He went to the UK," she said, her voice a mix of frustration and resignation. "Said he had things to take care of. What things? God knows. Sometimes I think your father's more of a mystery now than he was when we first met."

She punctuated her words by aggressively stirring the soup, her movements sharp and annoyed. I could feel my mood sinking again at the thought that he wouldn't be back tonight. I had hoped to talk to him, to at least apologize for how things last ended between us.

"He won't be back today?" I asked quietly, trying to keep the disappointment from my voice.

She shook her head, "No," She mumbled, pouring me a bowl of soup before she edged closer and set it on the table. She rested her hand over my shoulder from the back, "Don't worry, you'll talk to him when he gets back," She murmured in assurance as she tapped my shoulder.

I nodded, the weight of everything settling back onto my shoulders.

•────•°•❀•°•────•

After Mom was satisfied that I had eaten enough to feed an army, she finally released me from her sight. I took a quick shower, letting the steam wash away some of the exhaustion, and then collapsed into my bed. I managed to steal a two-hour nap, enough to restore some of my energy.

When I woke up, the clock read ten p.m. The house was quiet. Mom had retreated to her room for the night, and Dad wouldn't be back until tomorrow. I was oddly energized and I had nothing but time—and I knew exactly where I wanted to spend it.

Without giving it a second thought, I got into my car and drove to Valerie's house, the pull to be near her too strong to resist. Parking a few blocks away, I made my way over, my eyes immediately finding the soft glow of her bedroom light through the curtains. That simple glow gave me a sense of relief I hadn't realized I was searching for.

Not wanting to risk waking anyone else, I climbed the familiar path to her balcony, my hands steady as I knocked—once, twice, then a pause, before a final, softer knock, the rhythm we had silently established between us. It didn't take long for me to hear the faint sound of footsteps approaching from the other side.

Valerie appeared at the curtains, her face bathed in the warm light of her room. For a split second, her expression was one of surprise before she slid the door open, allowing me inside.

"Max," she breathed, her voice soft but questioning. She knew I'd said I'd be home, but what can I do when I barely function when I am away from her?

I stepped into her room, the space was cozy and very warm. The soft glow of fairy lights strung along the walls, a throw blanket draped over the edge of her bed, and the faint scent of strawberry that always clung to her. It felt like a safe haven, like a place where nothing could touch us. I loved being here with her, sleeping on that little bed, with her in my arms. I've missed it like crazy.

As I glanced around, my eyes fell on the nightstand, where a half-full glass of something sat beside an open book. The faint scent of alcohol hit me, and I turned my gaze back to her, taken aback. She was still standing near the door, her posture slightly more relaxed than usual, the subtle sway in her stance and the faint flush on her cheeks betraying the fact that she'd had a drink—or two.

Since when does she drink?

"You've been drinking," I noted quietly.

She moved closer and looked down at the glass, as if remembering it for the first time, then back at me with a sheepish smile, "Just a little," she admitted, her voice soft, "I couldn't sleep, have so much—so much on my mind, so uh, I found this downstairs and took a glass, that's all."

I studied her for a moment. She wasn't drunk, I could see the bit of sobriety in her eyes, but there was a certain softness in her movements, a looseness in the way she blinked at me, her lips slightly parting as if she wasn't quite sure what to say next. Her usual sharpness was just a little blurred at the edges.

"What's on your mind?" I questioned, taking one step closer, diminishing the spaces between us.

She tilted her head, looking at me and her gaze softened, the tipsiness evident in the way her eyes lingered on me, more open, more vulnerable than ever.

"You," She admitted, her loosened nerves exposing her a bit.

"Me?" I echoed, my heart picking up pace. She was constantly on my mind, a permanent fixture, but I wasn't always sure how much space I occupied in hers.

She nodded, her lips curving into a small, almost frustrated smile. "Yes, you." Her finger poked my chest, landing softly against my shirt. "You and your words...and the bomb you dropped on me today."

My lips twitched, "I only told you what I feel."

Her eyes narrowed at me, "Exactly, which is why I feel like I'll go mad," She grumbled and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Why, exactly?"

"Because...because I want to tell you those same words but I know that I can't, because I am not sure if I am capable of feeling that much, or that deep," She mumbled, her furious tone melting into a sad one, "I don't think I can, you see," her throat bobbed, her tipsiness allowed her unfiltered thoughts to slip through, "there is this...broken thing in me, and I need to fix it first, before I can feel for you, I need to fix it first before I can give you what you deserve. Before I can...love you the way you love me."

Her words hit me hard, a knot forming in my chest as I watched her struggle to explain. "Valerie..." I began, but she shook her head, cutting me off gently.

"And for that, I need your help," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"My help?" I asked, my brow furrowing in confusion.

She nodded her head, "Yes, will you do it for me?"

I had no clue what she was asking me to do but I nodded nevertheless, "I'd do anything for you, Valerie."

She nodded her head and smiled softly, "Cool," She said, the flushness of her face deepened, the redness painting even her ears, and her next words were the last thing I ever thought she'd ask from me.

She nearly gave me a whiplash as she said, "I want you to have sex with me."

•──────•°•❀•°•──────•

Ah it's been a while, hope y'all are doing well ;)

See ya soon :)