The search history of younger me was a scary thing:

-How to castrate/caponize

-Katanas/blades/knives

-How to cull a capon  (Look it up and be amazed)

Mom: I found this lovely poly-cotton fabric for dressmaking on so-and-so's fabric site!  Guess how much it is!

Me: *Without missing a beat*  Three dollars.

Mom: *Stares in shock*  How'dyouknowthat?

Me: *Sudden awkward silence*  Uhhh...

Me: Whoops-!  Hahahahaha!  It's not like I'm psychic or anything!  Hehehe!  I'm just a really good guesser!  Heh.  

Me: I've got to go do somethiiing..  In the other room.  Bye!

Mom: *Yelling after me*  NO, SERIOUSLY!  HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!!

Me: IF YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT BY NOW, YOU PROBABLY NEVER WILL!!!

(Cross-posting.)

Rhea being late for ninja training for the 22 time this month.  

(Okay, so it's taking me a bit of time to post things.  Grrrrr.)

https://youtu.be/6evYvg2um2Y

https://youtu.be/aKVUTeUvpio

Imagine being the random guy in a dollar store Lloyd costume posing around Budapest, tho...

#LifeGoals

I SHALL NOW TRANSLATE FOR YOU, INCLUDING A FEW OF THE SUBTLE NUANCES OF THE LANGUAGE!!!

G: What are you doing in my office?  Leave me (and let me) work!

L: Dad, look!  They're showing our movie in Budapest, too!  And I thought-

G: -I should destroy it?  One day, you'll be an excellent supervillain!  General Number 1, bring me my supervillain pants!

L: You misunderstood me.  I think we should check out how (the city) looks together.  Look at this!  

G: Ooh!  This would be cool to destroy!

L: Nooo!  Don't do this now!

G: Ooh!  This too!

L: Listen...

G: This is marvelous!  Do you know what a bomb (hip Hungarian slang: Awesome) [this city will look like] when I rend it to bricks with my giga-mech?

L: Daaad!  Leave it alone!!!  

G: I'm going to rend it to pieces in a really rad way.  Then I can retire!

L: Don't be afraid of him.  Dad won't demolish Budapest!

G: NOW!!!  (AT THIS VERY MOMENT!!!)

L: 😑  He's joking.

G: BUT I'M COMING!!!

Random Ninjago characters in a nutshell:

Master Wu: That one old virgin uncle.  'ThErE's SoMeThInG tHaT i HaVeN't ToLd YoU yEt.'  Adopts random orphan children, (most of them orphans through his own past faults) gives them weapons of mass destruction, and trains them to become expert assassins in very obvious color-coded suits.  Traumatizes kids.

Garmadon: A much better Sensei than his younger brother.  Is better than Wu.  Might I mention he's better..?  Better looking, too.  Can't stay dead because the fandom loves him too much.

Lloyd: WAAAAY too traumatized, the writers literally can't leave him alone for a single season.  Troubled young blond dude who's the leader for some reason.  Couldn't decide on his Element. (I blame the writers for that one, as well.)  Took the green gi with him, making the others jelly until they eventually got over it.

Kai: Lego tricked us into thinking that he would be the focus character.  Literal hothead with super-stretchy hair.  Lovable (occasional) jerk with a heart of gold.  Total mommy's boy, and it's one of the most wholesome, sweetest things ever.

Nya: Is probably the most violent and lethal member of the team, surpassing even her brother in terms of aggression.  Was in love with her future husband since they first met, became Samurai X, stupidly attempted to date her love's best friend, then became Master of Water, then started doubting herself, then got over it, then became the sea, then became human again, then became Samurai X again, then-  Likes chewy cookies.  She would probably live in a tank at Waterworld or Marineland if she had the choice.

Jay: Motormouthed adopted Lightning child.  Pure bean.  Is either really dumb, or really brilliant.  Bro bro goo goo.

Zane: Robotic tin can with issues.  Committed genocide that one time, but nobody talks about it.  His gf is a better detective than him.  Legit dies just about every season, but they can do that, because he's a robo-man and can be rebuilt.

Cole: Rockhead.  Big brother material.  Was the leader in the early days, until that young upstart Lloyd got his grimy clamps into the team.  Tried to get with his best friend's girl, then was like 'Nah' a season later, but still managed to ruin their relationship for a couple more seasons.  (Okay, there was more to it than that, but I digress.)  :P

Morro: 😉😏  I could just describe him like this too, in all honesty.  ..He possessed the Green Bean, but he's hot, so he's naturally forgiven.  Most of the fandom would probably faint if he were actually real.  😳  SOPGHWOFHWODFYWQ

If you want more of these, just say the word!  ;)

Morro: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven't decided yet' is typically a good response.