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The extent of my guilt

Two years ago, I was at a summer camp for artists

The person who sat next to me in graphic design was an amazing digital artist

But I had no idea what their gender was

I didn't know their name either

I just referred to them by "them/they"

I still have to this day and done the same with people I meet that I don't know the gender of because that person made me feel so awful that I didn't know their name

This was also about the same time I learned about trans, non-bianary, and gender fluid stuff

I've felt guilty about hat for two years

At the same camp, I met a wonderful friend of mine that I'll just call E

We became close friends and had a small group with this other girl.

On the last day, E got kinda pissed at us for having lunch with some other people

I never got to say goodbye

I never got to apologize









Until this year when she transferred to my school

It was amazing, getting to see her again

She said "I'm sorry I was a bit of a jerk last time you saw me"

And I wanted to say "You? I thought I was the jerk!"

But I didn't

And she'll never know how much I missed her and how guilty I felt that she thought we had abandoned her

Because I'm never gonna tell her

Because how freaking pathetic would that be of me

To tell her she was on the long list of people I'm not friends with anymore because I didn't show that I cared enough

But I got to take her name off that list

And I'm glad

But it's still a long list

I guess if there's any moral to this, it's that you need to communicate how much you care about your friends and family

And be sure that you know someone's name or at least their pronouns after you've sat next to them for 5 weeks straight

Like Jeeze I didn't even give them a nickname in this chapter

I guess I'll just call them X cause x is a cool letter and they were a pretty awesome artist

I also met a good friend who was an awesome sketcher

And one that loved Halsey and is now a furry and does some lit art commissions

And one who loved anime and was obsessed with Assassination Classroom




So yeah

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