(TW: brief mention of nausea)
————

"Iskall, what did you do to him?!"

Stress' voice was practically seething with anger and worry, and Iskall was terrified.

Well, maybe less scared of Stress, and more scared of themself.

Because they had hurt Tango.

But it wasn't their fault. It was its fault. And if they stuck around any longer, It would hurt them all again. It had said it would. So, with no other feasible option, Iskall ran.

~~~ 9 hours ago ~~~

Today was going to be boring, Iskall could feel it in their bones.

There were no major events happening today that they knew of, and they'd seen no signs of anything exciting in chat. Mumbo wasn't doing another hermit challenges, Stress hadn't invited them over. Nothing. Nada. Zip.

And nothing going on meant they should probably spend that time working on their Omega Tree of Doom. (Yes it must be capitalized and properly addressed, why shouldn't it be?) And it wasn't like Iskall didn't want to work on it, they just didn't want to get caught up in case exciting things did happen. They were totally hard working when they needed to be.

I can smell your sarcasm from a mile away, jeez.

Maybe that thought should've worried Iskall. But it was right though, they were just making sarcastic excuses for being lazy. Plus, they knew their subconscious could be a weird place when it wanted to be.

Notch, they just needed to work on the tree already. Those branches wouldn't build themselves.

Iskall slowly and begrudgingly headed to their storage area, ready to collect some shulkers of wood and leaves so they could continue the monotonous task of tree construction. But when they opened their chests, their eyes widened at the severe lack of oak wood. How they'd exhausted their supply this fast they hadn't a clue.

But they needed more, several stacks, and they had plenty of diamonds so...

To the cowmercial district it is.

At least they didn't have to continue building just yet, and hey, maybe they'd encounter a wild hermit in the shopping district.

They decided to walk. Not because of procrastination, no no no, because they very much enjoyed walking and today was boring anyways. Once Iskall reached the coast, they hopped in a stray boat and began the paddle over to the island that the shopping district sat on.

They were about halfway across when it happened again.

Just fly over, this is such a waste of energy, a waste of power.

Iskall stopped paddling.

'Excuse me?'

You heard me right numbskull. You. Have. Powers. Use them.

While it was indeed true that Iskall had powers, just like everyone else, they didn't need to use them. Goddam disagreeing subconscious.

Power was a plentiful thing in this world. So abundant that, Iskall, in fact, only knew one person without powers. That was VintageBeef. And because, though insanely rare, there were people like Beef, who didn't have powers (or, Iskall's theory: didn't show them off to anyone), Iskall always thought they should use their own more. Appreciate it, if you will.

Iskall had telekinesis, a pretty basic power, no big weaknesses or strings attached either. And they were happy with that. But sometimes they wondered if not using it often was akin to taking it for granted.

So of course they didn't think much of the voice in their head, as they knew insecurities easily took precedence and liked to twist up thoughts. Make them seem against you.

They simply gripped their oars a little tighter and continued on.

Best not to think to hard about it, their brain just might pop—

I thought I told you to stop rowing

'row row row ur boat, gently down  the—'

Shut up and stop wasting your time and energy!

Okay, last Iskall checked your own subconscious was not supposed to tell you to shut up. It wasn't that they didn't deserve that, but it was pretty rude if they did say so themselves.

'You shut up annoying-face' Iskall shot back, paddling faster with a pout taking over their face. Their subconscious didn't retort back, which they'd expected.

Maybe this was getting a bit odd. But at the same time, there wasn't really anything they could do about it. Just funky thoughts after all, right? They still couldn't help feeling a tad paranoid that it wasn't themselves though.

Before they knew it, Iskall had reached the shore of the cowmerical district. They hadn't been paying much attention to anything, since apparently their new friend, intrusive-self-hatred-thought-thingy, had decided to take over for the day.

When they hopped onto shore, they found themselves walking a bit faster, suddenly hoping that maybe they wouldn't run into anyone after all.

Not a moment later, Iskall turned a corner and found themselves practically crashing head on into none other than BdoubleO. Thankfully they only startled one another, Bdubs dropping a shulker box, which he quickly recollected.

"Sorry Bdubs! Didn't see you there!" Iskall chuckled a little nervously. It didn't take long before they started walking through the shopping district together, chatting casually.

Sure, Iskall had just noted that perhaps they might prefer less interaction after all and yet, they knew it was all just paranoia talking. And plus, Bdubs, though he could be loud at times, was really fun to hang out with. Iskall didn't see any consequences in doing what they were doing.

Bdubs started dragging out a long retelling of something Jellie had done the other day. Or, in short, he was rambling. Iskall didn't mind, they didn't have anything to say anyways.

"And so then, Jellie just jumps right onto Scar's face, and he got all coated in fluff—" Bdubs cut off into laughter.

Annoying. Annoying annoying annoying.

Iskall smiled warmly back, the story was a good one.

"There was still so much fluff and leaves in his hair though, he was walking around like that all day! Didn't even notice, can you believe it?"

Yes, duh. Scar's an idiot just like you are. Can't you ever shut up?

Iskall laughed, a perfect image of Scar just not even noticing the mess, walking around like normal next to a pissed Jellie, in their head.

Endlessly chattering with no end in sight, it'd be easier just to end him.

"So anyways, I was teasin' him and all, maybe I shouldn't have but— Iskall? You good? You went a little pale in the face there."

Just kill him just kill him just kill him just kill him

Iskall hesitated to answer the question, too preoccupied in ignoring their stupid voice.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm fine. Continue!" Iskall hoped that convinced Bdubs. They sucked in a quick breath and stuffed their hands in their pockets.

"If you're sure, I mean, it's okay to say that you're not okay ya know."

Iskall nodded, and Bdubs continued his story. Their hand closed around a small item, their pocket knife. They carried it on them at all times, along with an abundant supply of—

KILL HIM ISKALL DO IT NOW!

"NO!" Iskall protested loudly, stopping in their tracks. No, no no no, notch dammit no, they would not do that. They would never do that.

"Iskall?" Bdubs' voice was nervous. Iskall gripped their pocketknife harder, it felt instinctual and automatic and they didn't know why.

"Erm- no...! All of these mayoral posters are ruining the view!" Iskall almost said it more like a question, and Bdubs expression read 'I don't buy it'

"Iskall, somethin's up. You're all tense and shaky, and then just shout NO at me? Was it somethin' I said?" Bdubs reached a hand up to Iskall's shoulder, consoling them. Iskall felt themself fidgeting under his touch.

Idiot.

The pocket knife flicked open.

And Iskall knew that it was not natural. It felt- controlled.

"I-I- You see—"

Stop talking, kill him

The knife began to draw from their pocket, so much so that it's base glinted in the sun. No. Iskall used as much force as they could to shove their hand back into their pocket, what the hell were they doing???

Kill. Him.

What the actual living nether?!

"Hey it's okay—"

KILL!

"No, I- I'm sorry, just- nevermind, I have to go." Iskall turned and fled, shoes digging into mycelium as they weaved between shops. Bdubs shouted something after them.

The second they had turned away they felt their hand unclench, and realized just how tightly they'd been holding that knife.

Killkillkillkill DEATH

"Stop- Stop please!" Iskall blubbered out, still sprinting away. It felt like they were fighting themself to run, as if a part of them wanted to stay and do what the voice said.

Hah, knew you couldn't do it. Chicken. But you want to.

"No! No I don't!"

Iskall skidded to a stop as they reached the coast of the mooshroom island. Bdubs hadn't followed them.

Screw getting the oak wood, they needed help.

But they'd hurt someone if they tried to get the help they needed. Maybe though— Iskall had an idea.

They whipped out their communicator, opening their messages. All they had to do was tell Xisuma, tell Xisuma. He would know what to do, right?

Well well, what are we doing with this now?

As their hands hovered over the keys to type, something froze. It was like they couldn't even twitch their fingers. Iskall tried once more, twice more, but their hands just wouldn't budge, and it was like something was holding them in place. Iskall huffed and threw the communicator back into their pocket, the solution deemed useless.

They were terrified, but also angry. Angry at themselves, or whatever the heck that voice wanted.

Iskall started the journey home, figuring they could think things out there. They opted to fly this time rather than boat. Their levitation plus rockets made for a fast... get away.

The voice had maybe left, but Iskall knew it wouldn't be gone for long. They were certain now, that if it was themselves, they'd gone crazy, and if it wasn't, then something was seriously, seriously wrong.

The travel back home took barely any time at all. Iskall landed clumsily, and started pacing back and forth in the yard around their omega tree.

Hypothetically, if they were going crazy, they could leave the server. Leave and keep everyone safe. But also, that would mean subjecting all of their friends outside of Hermitcraft to the danger that was themselves. And not to mention all the citizens in the Hub if the voice in their head got really crazy.

But also hypothetically, the voice wouldn't go out of control. In theory, it could just be some nasty intrusive thoughts. Iskall could be going through a phase. Yeah, that's it, a phase.

But at the same time, it didn't feel like a phase.

It felt like something else.

Something out of their control.

But Iskall was suddenly pulled out of their thoughts by a rustling nearby. A snap of a twig. There was someone else here.

They weren't sure if it was out of curiosity, or another involuntary movement, but they started walking into the jungle towards the sound. When they got closer to the sound, they peeked around a tree, silently observing.

Ah, Tango. Your little Nether friend.

You again.

You don't have to sound so mad about it. It's about time we terminated some threats, eh?

Whoa whoa whoa, Iskall would not be doing any of that whatsoever! They tried to back up, but they couldn't. They were frozen again, like before.

"Who's there?"

Iskall stepped out from behind the tree, but it wasn't themselves. It was the voice. It felt like Iskall's regular conscious had been shoved to the back of their brain, and they were just watching a scene unfold through their eyes. They couldn't move a muscle either, couldn't even control their facial expressions.

"Iskall!" Tango chuckled a bit nervously. "You almost gave me a heart attack... I- Iskall?"

Iskall tried to speak. They needed to tell Tango to run, to get out of here. They screamed at the top of their lungs but no sound came out.

Voice Iskall just slowly approached Tango, menacingly, mockingly, and levitating slightly.

Great. It could use their powers now.

The voice wasn't speaking in their head, instead focusing its attention on Tango. Iskall felt their face pull into a sneer, a devious smile.

"W-what's goin' on?" Tango stammered out, eyes filling with confusion and fear. Tango lit his hand ablaze, fire dancing at his fingertips. He held it out in front of him as a warning or precaution. The voice paid that no mind.

Instead, it did something that made Iskall feel sick.

In one, nausea inducing moment, the voice tore itself up and out of them, using Iskall as a vessel to speak through.

"Just terminating a threat"

It felt like a hot mucus coating his throat, and he wanted to gag, to get it out. The voice didn't say anything more though.

Iskall's vocal cords burned. If they were in control they'd be choking and gasping but they couldn't be in control. They'd cry out to Tango for help, but right now, Tango was the one in danger.

In the same moment that the voice had spoken, it had levitated Tango several feet off the ground.

Everything was starting to feel distant, but Iskall could make out Tango's shouts. They started angry, but grew gradually more panicked as the voice walked with him hovering in front. They were getting close to the small river that winded through the jungle.

...

. . .

Iskall could feel themselves drifting, drifting, the voice having taken its toll on them. They heard Tango shriek. It was followed by a loud splash.

And suddenly it was over. Iskall simply blinked and the voice was gone.

They clenched their fists, and unclenched, wiggling their fingers. They were in control again, or maybe they had been the whole time and hadn't realized.

Fever dream fever dream fever dream

This was all just a fever dream wasn't it?

Iskall's eyes had been open but for the first time in a while, they looked. Tango was no longer in front of them, and it took Iskall a good minute to realize what happened.

But it still didn't quite register in their head as they started to step forward. Iskall felt weirdly weak, and knowing that that voice would come back at any moment wasn't helping.

With a long breath out a small squeak, Iskall collapsed into the grass below them. They could help Tango in a moment.

There was a dull thud to one side, and a mini feather flurry. Iskall was about to pay no attention to it, but there was a Grian face hovering over them all of a sudden.

Grian was lightly shaking their shoulders. "Iskall?! What's going on? Iskall!"

And suddenly, as if Grian's voice alone had been magic, Iskall snapped to attention. It was the same feeling as when you swallow and your ears pop, and suddenly everything becomes so, so clear. Because it all made sense now. And Iskall realized just what they had done.

They bolted up, the fuzziness from before receding.

"Hhhhhholy notch." Iskall murmured. They had to save Tango, they had to help him now. And Grian was still there, talking to him, concerned and a bit angry.

They ignored Grian for a moment, instead jumping to their feet and searching the water's surface for any sign that Tango was okay.

A stream of 'no's' left Iskall as they didn't catch sight of a single bubble rising to the surface. And if they knew anything, it was that there was one person who could help.

And so, distantly once more, they heard themself tell Grian to get Stress. She could save Tango even if he couldn't. But as Grian flew off, Iskall jumped into action before there wasn't any time left.

Tango was in the river, and that was Iskall's fault. But they didn't mean to, or they assumed they didn't mean to at least. And so Iskall made a last ditch effort, running the last couple of feet, and diving into the gurgling river.

Iskall had always been a relatively okay swimmer. As their eyes, moreso their robotic one than their natural one, adjusted to the murky waters, they found Tango. He was hanging limply in the water, sapped of energy and life and everything that made Tango, Tango. He looked like a dead man already.

Iskall swam faster because Tango's life depended on it, and wrapped their arms around him.

The surface was far. Tango was as heavy as cinder blocks, because he was both limp and soggy. But Tango wouldn't die today, Iskall wouldn't be a murderer today.

They kicked against the water harder. There was barely a current but they were so far under. Iskall's lungs pleaded for air, and their head for safety.

Just... one... more...

stroke.....

Iskall broke the surface of the water, Tango on their back, head lolling.

And they were close to the riverbank.

And before Iskall knew it they were rolling Tango out of the water and waiting for help to arrive.

————
(A/N)

I feel like a lot of these chapters are just going through the same moments in different perspectives. Which they are.

I'm pretty proud of how long this one is! And now that all of the more finicky rewrites are done, I can get back on track with the regular ones.

Song for this chapter: The Monster - Eminem & Rihanna (it fits so perfect u have no idea :D)

See you later my guys, gals, nonbinary pals, neo amigos, and genderfluid peeps!

<3 SoE sILvEr
aNd liLy CLocKwoRk

:>