Loki sighed and hesitated before he spoke. "This is not a fun tale, darling," he started, pain in his voice. You nodded, expecting as much. Loki wouldn't have been gone for a year otherwise. You reached across the table and took his hand in yours, offering him what comfort you could for him to tell you the painful tale. you held his hand across the table. He gave you a small smile, more of thanking you for your reassurance than an actual smile. He rubbed his thumb over your hand, over the ring he had given you that you had never taken off. You could tell that he was reassuring himself that you were here as much as reassuring you.

"I know," you told him gently when he paused in his words. "And I know it must've been major for you to leave like that, but I need to know. I need to know why you left for a year. Why you took all evidence of the portal spell with you. Why you didn't call or visit, or send a message that you were ok. I only knew you were even still alive because I was still alive," you told him with more emotion in your voice than you had intended. You had intended to be calm about this discussion. You knew there had to be a good reason why Loki had left, but it had hurt so much. It had hurt so very, very much.

Loki took a breath, another, as he gathered his words. He nodded when he was ready to speak. "Asgard was attacked," he started simply, though the words themselves were horrifying. "There were rogues with allies from one of the lesser realms, who wanted to free Balder. They thought he should be the next ruler and they tried to assassinate the rest of our family," Loki told you. His voice was heavy and he fought to get the words out. His eyes were dull, vacant, as he spoke. He was staring past you, remembering something he had seen, not really seeing you. "They were put down, but not before...not before Torun..." his eyes filled with tears at the memory.

"Torun?" you asked, horrified. She was just a toddler, the daughter of Thor and Sif, Loki's older brother and sister-in-law. Balder was the eldest, but hadn't been chosen as heir to the throne. That lead to all of the strife, but to hurt Torun...

Loki nodded, a couple of tears falling as he squeezed your hand. "Torun had found out her uncle Balder was down in the dungeon. She didn't understand that the dungeon was jail. She was just a baby," he paused to compose himself. "She had taken a bunch of toys down to the dungeon so they could play with him. The assassins killed her. They slaughtered that poor baby just because she was before Balder in the line to the throne." You stood then and went to Loki to wrap your arms around him.

"I'm so sorry, Loki," you told him softly, not caring that the kitchen staff was watching you. You barely noticed that you were crying too. Torun was such a sweet baby. You couldn't fathom that she was gone.

"Balder is gone. They broke him out while all of the guards were distracted protecting our family.  Mother called me home after the attack. The people needed to see that the royal family was united and strong, even when we were not. They needed to see that the line of succession was still intact. Thor and Sif also needed to be given the traditional year of grieving away from the spotlight of their duties as heirs to the throne. I had to remain and act as Heir until Thor was able to take up his responsibilities again." You just held on to Loki while he spoke. What happened was terrible and you didn't have any words to comfort him with. No words would be good enough. "I could not bring you with me. I would not risk your safety after an assassination attempt and I could not drag you away from your life for a year or longer. I knew if you left any trace of the portal spell, you would come after me and stay, forsaking your own dreams in the process. It took months to settle the country enough that it would have even been safe, and by then... I was afraid that you would have moved on with your life. I would not have blamed you. I'm sorry I could not return before now," he finally told you, though it pained him. "I know those words are not enough, but someday, I hope I will be able to make it up to you,"

"Can we go visit soon?" you asked him as you finally let him go when he seemed stable again. You still held his hand across the table after you had taken your seat again. "I would like to pay my respects,"

He nodded, looking relieved that that had been your reaction and response. You hadn't changed as much as he feared. "We will visit soon," he promised. "Once you are up to it. If I take you there in this shape, Mother will have both of our hides," he added with a bit of his usual teasing and friendship.

"How's Thor doing? And Sif?"

"They are devastated and they mourn. That will not end soon. Though Sif announced right before you returned that she is with child." Loki gave a small smile at that. She and Thor had been trying for a second child. Apparently, they had succeeded.

"So you can stay?" you asked him, adding some excitement to your voice, trying to lighten the mood. You wanted desperately for him to stay on Midgard with you. You didn't want to lose him again.

"I can stay. Though Mother did request that we visit more often," he replied with an all too familiar glint in his eyes. You gave him a smile. You were all hurting right now, but you'd be ok. Thor and Sif would be ok too, though they would always mourn their loss.

"They didn't ask where I was?"

"I told them I left you here for your safety," he replied. You rolled your eyes, but that's exactly what they would have expected him to do. "Had I known how poorly you were looked after..."

"I'm fine, Loki," you replied sourly. He just gave you a look. You sighed, easily defeated on that particular point.. "Really, I'm fine,"

"Sure you are, darling," he replied, with disbelief in his voice. It was quite rude of him not to believe you. Luckily for him, he was saved from your tart reply by your dinners arriving. "So what have you been doing, besides working yourself to death?" he asked as you were eating.

"Let's see... I graduated from high school, top of the class. I've started a really ambitions extremely accelerated PhD program at Metropolis University. Thanks for that by the way, since it's purely because of the knowledge I stole from you through the soulbond that I can do this program," you touched the lines of power that ran up his left arm and he smiled. They were identical to the marks on your own left arm. "I should graduate in a year or so. I told Fury that I wouldn't work for the Avengers full time until I'd earned my PhD and gotten to be a real doctor. That's what I'd always thought I'd be when I didn't have powers. I didn't want to give that up just because I finally got my powers," you explained. He nodded, of course he remembered your conversation about your future from before you had gotten your powers.

"So you have done nothing but work?" he asked, disapproving.

You shrugged. "Pretty much. I did spend some time with the actors when they came to shoot the next Avengers movie, but most of my life is boring right now, school, work in the infirmary, patrol. I wasn't going to be Bella Swan and just waste away in depression because my boyfriend left. I needed to do something with my life." You pulled up a picture on your phone to show him, though. It was of you carrying all of the actors' weapon props as they chased you around the set. You showed it to him and he started laughing. "I did have some fun," you told him as you laughed too.

"My apologies, lady. It seems I was mistaken," he replied still laughing as you pulled up more pictures from that day to show him.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, I don't live in the compound anymore. I mean, I still have your suite there, but I live in an apartment near campus." That would be important information when he went to take you home later.

A huge dessert appeared in front of you after you'd finished your meals, catching up the entire time. Your eyes lit up at the delicious chocolaty creation. You and Loki devoured the entire thing like small children left alone with an entire cake. Which was, in retrospect, a fairly accurate description of the two of you at times.

Loki escorted you from the restaurant once you had finished eating and stopped right outside. "So, are we returning to the compound or your apartment?" he asked when he stopped.

"My apartment," you replied. You gave him the address and somehow that was enough information for him to teleport you there. You thought it was impressive since he'd never been there, or really on this end of town very often.

"Darling, when was the last time you slept?" he asked when you were alone. You were so full of food that you were leaning too much on him, halfway to a food coma. It was getting harder to stay awake through stubbornness and caffeine when there wasn't an emergency every few seconds.

"I slept Wednesday," you told him sleepily, wrapping your arms around his slim waist.

"And how long did you sleep on Wednesday?" he asked gently as he ran his fingers through your hair.

You shrugged, not moving your head from his chest. "A couple hours?"

"Love, it's Tuesday now. That is nearly a week. Even I cannot go that long without sleep. Come on, off to bed with you," he swept you up into his arms. Another flash of his magic and you were in your pajamas. He was soon trying to tuck you into bed.

You would grudgingly admit to being difficult.

Grudgingly.

"I can't sleep," you protested, though exhaustion fogged your brain and you were sure it made your words really easy to understand. Or completely unintelligible.

"Yes, you can darling. No one will be calling you for an emergency. There are no responsibilities right now except to rest. You are taking a break," he reminded you, overly patient as usual when you were being stubborn.

"If I sleep then this really will all be a dream and it'll be tomorrow and you'll be gone," you told him quite logically. Or at least your sleep deprived brain thought it was logical. You didn't want this to be a dream. You didn't want Loki to be gone when you woke.

"What if I lie in the bed beside you? Then will you believe that this is not a dream?" he asked gently, acknowledging your fear. He was trying to fight against your sleep deprived logic. It didn't resemble normal human logic, though, so he was at a severe disadvantage. You thought about that, but finally nodded. If you could hold on to him then he wouldn't disappear and be a dream. He magicked himself some pajamas and climbed into the other side of the bed. You curled up against him, laying your head on his cool chest and falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. A sound you had grown too accustomed to hearing in the year you had been dating, and a sound you had missed too desperately in the year he had been away.