[Dream]

I opened my eyes abruptly. I was standing on the shore of a lake, surrounded by smoke, screams and cries. I looked to the water. It was murky with debris. Then I realised where I was. I was on the shore of the Long Lake, after Smaug had destroyed Laketown.

"Tauriel." 

I looked around and saw Kili, standing there, smiling at me. That cute, heartwarming, slightly mischievous smile that told me everything was going to be ok. 

I tried to walk towards him but my feet seemed to be stuck to the ground. People bustled past me and I tried to shove them aside but my hands seemed to swipe straight through them. I struggled but my feet still wouldn't budge. "Kili!" I screamed.

The scene started to change.

Snow was falling around me and a realisation of horror dawned on me. I was at the top of Ravenhill. I looked with wide eyes in front of me and gasped. Bolg was standing there with Kili in his hand, mace at the ready. I tried to rip my legs out of their frozen state but nothing was working. "KILI!!" I screamed. "Tauriel," he said, looking at me. "Tauriel, please! Help-"

The back of Bolg's staff pierced his stomach before he could finish.

"NO!!" I screamed, tears streaming down my cheeks as his eyes began to drift shut. "Kili! Kili no!" I cried, trying to force my legs. They still wouldn't budge.

I felt a shadow wash over me and looked up to see Bolg standing there with an evil grin on his face. He brought his mace up, then everything went black.

I woke up with a scream. "Kili!" I yelled, startling a dove that was sitting on my windowsill. I looked around me and realised I was still in my cottage in Mirkwood, all in one piece. I ran my hands down my legs and moved them around. My breathing slowed. It was just a dream.

The initial shock of the dream gone, I put my face in my hands and started to weep. I let all my sobs out of me that I had been suppressing all these months. Kili. Dead. Me. Alive.

Why was I alive? Why couldn't I have died and Kili have lived? I was no one special. I was a Mirkwood commoner. Kili was an heir to the throne of Durin. He should have lived. 

I was no one. Thranduil had said so himself. Kili was.

I will never look at anyone the same way I looked at Kili. I know that. I could never hold that same love for anyone ever again.

I changed out of my nightgown and hastily grabbed my bow and daggers. I opened the door, letting the cool midnight air brush against my face. I shut the door and walked as far away from my house as I could. 

I walked rather statically, always on edge. Whenever I heard the slightest rustle I was in a battle stance with my bow aimed. 

I was half-running, half-walking, looking behind me, not looking where I was going. I swear someone was following me. I was so paranoid that when I bumped into someone I screamed.

"Tauriel, Tauriel! Easy," a calm voice said. I looked up to see Thranduil standing there, concern evident in his expression. "My King," I stuttered, bowing hastily. "I am so sorry, I-"

"I don't want to hear it," he said flatly, cutting me off. I heard a rustle and looked behind me again. There was no one there.

"Why do you weep, child?" Thranduil said, turning me to face him. I brought a finger to my cheek and it was wet. I didn't even realise the tears that had escaped.

"No reason at all, my lord," I stammered, roughly wiping them away with my sleeve. "I must be headed back home now. Farewell," I said, bowing slightly. I turned without waiting for a reply and managed about five steps before I heard him call my name.

"Tauriel," he said gently. I felt a pang in my heart. I didn't even need to look at his face. The concern and pity laced in his tone was enough. I fell to the floor in a pile of tears. 

But swiftly he caught me, wrapping his big arms around me. I cried harder and curled up against him. The similarity of his embrace and a father's made me cry even more. Just another thing I had lost. 

"Hush, child," he said, stroking my hair. "I miss him," I sobbed. "I want him back. I want him back! Bring him back to me!"

I cried even harder and put my face in my hand. I just wanted it to stop. The pain, the heartwrenching stabbing feeling that twisted its knife deeper into my heart each day. It's been ten months and I still can't get over it. I will never be able to get over it.

"Let it all out, child," I heard Thranduil say. "You have been holding it in for far too long."

And so I did. I let it all out, then and there. I let the dam down and let everything flood out. I loved him. I will never love anyone in the same way ever again.

Because true love only comes once in a lifetime.

I FEEL SO SAD RIGHT NOW

DX

I wanna cry

I hope I didn't make you cry

Hope you enjoyed?

residenthobbit49 :) <3

If I ruined your life (thecityofbooknerds) I'm sorry