Our elf on the shelf brought these for me this morning. I want to eat chocolate now but if I eat the chocolate coin I'll cry because I haven't had one in so long and it reminds me of my childhood and just reminds me of everything I knew being snatched away and I want to go home, I want to be little and safe and warm again, I want to wake up in the mornings to the sound of little children pouring through the front door downstairs again, I want the living room filled with toys and I want babies sat on my knee who don't have a care in the world and just giggle and grab my face and look at me like I'm the best thing in the world.

Yeah the only way I can rock myself to sleep sometimes is by tricking myself into thinking there will be children there to wake me up in the morning.

I'm proud of my mum for becoming an accountant now, but it meant leaving everything behind and I.. I miss them, I miss myself, I just want to go home.

So yeah I'm not gonna wat that chocolate coin ;-;