Artemis' head pounded in agony as she squinted her eyes open, wincing at the harsh sunlight that poured through the window. Blurred memories from the night before swam uncertainly in the back of Artemis' head, but the raging hangover soon took over, the pain stronger than her capability of remembering.

She closed her eyes again, but even that was not enough to block the pain. Artemis groaned loudly while pressing a pillow against her face.

And, slowly, painfully, memories from the night before began to resurface.

There had been a plan; that much she remembered. Two bottles of firewhiskey and a hopeless heart. She was going to drink them until she couldn't drink anymore. Of all the ways to die, Artemis had been sure that this would be the most painless.

But she had been wrong. Artemis didn't die. There had been something, some reason for her plan not to work. There had been an interference...

Marlene.

Artemis had sat up suddenly, ignoring the stabbing daggers of pain in her skull. Marlene had found her last night.

The memories slowly became clearer as Artemis frowned at the ground. They had fought, Marlene and her.

Do you even care about anything?

Marlene had tried to stop her, of course. Artemis doubted that Marlene was capable of letting things like this go. Merlin, her head hurt.

I care about you, dammit!

Lies. You couldn't care about something you didn't even know. Artemis was far past knowing, past understanding. She was so royally fucked up that she doubted anyone would ever understand the entirety of her.

Life is just a big fucking game for you, isn't it?

Marlene didn't understand. No one did. It would have been so much easier if Marlene had just let Artemis kill herself. Then, she wouldn't be lying on the floor, hungover and hopeless, with no one with her except her half-forgotten, painful memories.

Don't tell me I don't care!

Marlene didn't care.

Don't tell me how I feel!

Marlene hated her. How could she not? Artemis was a bitch to her, a bitch to everyone. How would it be possible to not hate her?

I love you, dammit!

No.

I'm in love with you, you stupid bitch!

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Artemis muttered in panic, staggering to her feet. "No, no, no, no. Fuck no."

It couldn't be true. Marlene didn't love her. Marlene didn't even know her.

The pain in Artemis' head suddenly disappeared as if it had never been there. Panic had erased it, leaving nothing but anxiety behind.

"Dammit," Artemis muttered, leaning heavily against the wall as her vision exploded with color, the blood rushing from her head. "Dammit, Marlene."

Her hand clumsily found the doorknob and Artemis yanked it open, stumbling into the hallway. The house was quiet, the only sound coming from downstairs. Slowly, Artemis walked towards the source of the sound, her footsteps painstakingly quiet on the wooden steps.

"Morning, Artie," greeted Apollo from the table in the kitchen. Harper, sitting directly beside him, offered her a small smile.

Artemis ignored them. Because Marlene was sitting there, her long legs resting on the chair next to her. She was eating a piece of toast, directing all her attention on it. Ignoring Artemis.

I was raped, Marlene.

Fuck. Artemis hadn't told her; she couldn't have. But the memory remained, Marlene's wide, horrified eyes staring at her as Artemis told her biggest secret.

Of all things to fall apart on this holiday, Artemis never thought it would be her.

"Morning," said Marlene cheerfully, as if just now noticing that Artemis was standing there. "Care for some toast? I burned the edges a bit, but it still tastes good."

In that moment, there was no one Artemis hated more than Marlene. Her stupid, friendly smile as she held out a piece of half-burnt toast out at Artemis, shifting her legs off the chair as if to offer it to Artemis. As if nothing had happened.

As if Artemis' world hadn't fallen apart.

But then, her dark, ugly hatred cleared. Along with the piece of toast, Marlene was offering Artemis a chance to erase everything that had happened. A role that they would both play without ever acknowledging what had happened.

With the carefully structured smirk on her face, Marlene raised one eyebrow, asking a nonverbal question: What will it be, Avery?

Returning with an identical smirk, Artemis plucked the toast from Marlene's hand, sinking into the chair next to her.

And just like that, the two girls formed an unspoken deal.

•••

"This isn't what I thought France would be."

Regulus was frowning up at the Eiffel Tower as if it offended him.

"What did you think it would be?" asked Artemis, leaning against a black metal fence. Her breath puffed into visible clouds as she breathed out in the cold air. She shivered under her layers of coats and scarves that did little to block the cold.

Regulus shrugged. "It's just one of those places, you know? Places that you make up in your mind that you know will never live up to your expectations, but you just can't stop yourself from fantasizing about. Places that reek of disappointment."

"Do they look disappointed?" asked Artemis, pointing to a young Muggle couple that was kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower.

Regulus grinned at Artemis. "I can't really see their faces. Too much blockage."

Artemis couldn't help herself; she released a loud laugh. "Is that what you call snogging? Blockage?"

Regulus shrugged, but he was smiling, too. "Is that what you call blockage? Snogging?" he countered.

"That is not what I would call snogging," Artemis said, looking at Regulus from the corner of her eye.

He was painstakingly handsome, especially in France. The white of the snow and sky juxtaposed the darkness of his hair, bringing out lighter shades of gray in his dark eyes.

"What would you call snogging?" asked Regulus.

Artemis wanted nothing more than to kiss him. She wanted to wrap her arms around his neck, the same way that the Muggle girl was doing, and push up on her toes and kiss him.

"You have snow in your hair," Regulus blurted suddenly, Artemis' daydream fading away.

"What?" she asked stupidly, hating herself the second the word left her mouth.

"You have snow in your hair," Regulus repeated. Artemis raised her hand to brush it off. "No, wait!" he exclaimed.

Artemis froze, her confused gaze locking on Regulus.

"Don't move," he commanded, taking something out of his pocket. A small pad of paper and a pencil in hand, Regulus looked at her, his hand moving without even looking at what he was drawing.

"Are you drawing me?" Artemis asked, feeling vulnerable and exposed.

Regulus released a sound of annoyance. "Yes. You're a pretty girl with snow in her hair standing in front of the Eiffel tower during Christmas. Of course I'm drawing you."

His lips turned up into a smirk. "You're blushing, Avery."

Artemis attempted to force the flushed redness from her face. "It's cold outside, Black, you can't blame me for getting chilly."

"Did I just make Artemis Avery blush?" Regulus asked, ignoring her excuse."

"Shut up," she said, but she was smiling.

"I didn't know you were capable of being embarrassed," continued Regulus, the pencil making gentle strokes on the paper. Artemis itched to see the drawing, to see how he saw her.

"I didn't know you were capable of being so annoying. I guess we're both surprised," retorted Artemis.

"Done," announced Regulus, tucking the pencil back into his pocket. "Do you want to see?"

"If I look bad, I won't hesitate to rip it to pieces," earned Artemis, accepting the notepad from his hand.

"You ruin the drawing and I'll hex you, Avery."

Artemis stuck out her tongue at him as she turned over the notebook, revealing her portrait.

"Merlin, Regulus," she murmured breathlessly.

The drawing was beautiful. Each stroke was thoughtful and realistic, the Tower appearing the same on the paper as it did in the sky behind her. The snow fell gracefully on the page, as if it were moving.

And the drawn version of Artemis was laughing, an undiluted joy shining in her happy eyes. She looked normal and beautiful and happy.

"Wow," Artemis managed to say. "It's beautiful. You have talent, Black."

"Only when my model is beautiful. You should the drawings I have of Abel; they're atrocious."

"That's the second time you've called me beautiful," Artemis pointed out, handing Regulus his notepad back. "Someone may say you're flirting with me, Black."

There was a secret, a challenge, a question in his beautiful eyes. He was asking her if she felt it, too, the unexplainable happiness that Artemis felt when she was with him.

There was nothing that could explain the terrible pain Artemis felt when she wasn't near him, and the blissful relief that came when she was. There was nothing that could explain the easiness she felt when she was with him.

"France isn't what I expected, but neither are you, Artemis Avery," said Regulus, almost wistfully.

Before her head could tell her differently, Artemis wrapped her arms around her neck and pushed up on her toes and she kissed Regulus. He tasted sweet and hopeful, like pomegranates, like the winter, like a half-solved mystery.

Regulus kissed her back, his hands pressing on the base of her back. As if supporting her, as if ensuring that she wouldn't fall.

The snow fell around them, the Eiffel Tower piercing the sky in the distance. It was like a snow globe after it was shaken. The chaos was gone, and all that remained was a peaceful serenity. And at the center of the snow globe was Regulus and Artemis.

As if Regulus and Artemis were the only two people who existed.

•••

-IF I SCREAM A LITTLE LOUDER
I KNOW YOU WOULD HAVE HEARD-
[ everything that helps you sleep / julien baker ]