Artemis flitted in and out of consciousness. She could never be sure what was real and what was a dream; everything was a terrifying, confusing drone that she couldn't escape.

There was a hole in her memory, which Artemis deducted to be her being knocked out after hitting her head on the hard floor. And when her brain, pounding groggily in her skull, had allowed her to wake, Artemis felt hands on her body.

A scream rose and died in her throat. It was Henry Grisham. She was a First Year, everything else had been a dream, and she was going to wake up to a mouth inside her own, a stranger on top of her—

"...is she awake?" a worried female voice asked.

Artemis's eyes were heavy, too heavy to open.

"It doesn't look like it," a boy's voice responded at the same time Artemis felt something hard collide with her arm. "Hey! Be careful, Abel! That's the third wall you've run her into."

"Sorry," Abel muttered. "Shit, there's McGonagall. She's going to be pissed we left detention."

"Obviously she won't be," hissed Marlene. "Can you not see the situation we're in?" Then, her voice changed to something louder and nicer. "Professor!"

And then, Artemis was not able to hang on, and she fell back into the water-filled cell that had become her mind.

And though her eyes were closed, she could see three people surrounding her, each one keeping her levitated off the ground, with the use of both magic and their hands. Marlene McKinnon was holding her shoulders, sending down worried glances to Artemis's face. And Regulus Black was supporting her torso, his strong hands pressed against her spine. Abel Grisham was using magic to keep her legs from dragging on the floor, but his direction was often poorly aimed.

There was someone at the end of the corridor. Artemis frowned; it wasn't the straight-backed silhouette of McGonagall. It was someone younger and male.

Artemis's mouth dried. Her heart stopped. Her lungs released the small puff of oxygen that she had been holding.

Henry Grisham was walking towards them, a cruel glint in his beautiful, dead eyes. A smirk was etched onto his handsome, sadistic face.

It was impossible. Artemis knew that. Henry had graduated years ago. But there he was, walking towards them with a purposeful stride.

"What have you got there?" Henry asked, his mouth widening into a shark grin.

Artemis couldn't breathe; her lungs were folding in on themselves.

"She fainted," Marlene explained, but her voice was murky and far away, as if she were speaking from underwater. "We were bringing her to Madam Pomfrey's. She won't wake up."

Henry locked his eyes on Artemis's body, looking wherever he liked. She tried to pull herself away from the three students holding her up, but their grips were like iron. They were holding her down, making it impossible for her to escape.

The lights had gone impossibly dim; white teeth and the whites of eyes shone in the green-tinted air. Henry Grisham was a mouth of shark teeth as he leered down at Artemis.

"I can take her from here," Henry said, acid dripping from his words.

But there was something different. Had there always been stalactites dripping from the ceiling? And had the ceiling always been made out of black rock?

Henry took another step towards Artemis, his pupils dilated so much that no white remained. But there was something around his neck, wrapped around it like a noose. It glowed green in the near-darkness.

Henry seemed to be unaware of the small chain that was crushing his windpipe. It writhed and curled like it was alive, like a snake. Artemis could only hope that it was as venomous as one.

"You can scream this time Artemis," Henry whispered darkly. "No one here cares about you. No one will hear."

His hands were on her arms, slowly making their way up her body. Marlene, Abel, and Regulus stood there, emotionless.

And Artemis screamed.

She flailed, her hands touching something smooth and soft. Artemis grabbed on to it, and twisted with all her strength.

"Why is she screaming?"

"Someone stop her —she's ripping at the sheets!"

"What's wrong with her? Why won't she wake up?"

"Get out of my way! Everyone back away from the bed!"

Henry was on top of her, his mouth hot against Artemis's. But his tongue was cold like metal, and it was forcefully pushing past her closed lips.

She struggled to escape, to stop Henry unlike the night all those years ago. Artemis pushed against his strong grasp.

"She's spitting it out, Madam Pomfrey! Whatever you just gave her."

"Artemis, it'll be okay. You're okay; we're trying to help you."

"She can't hear you. Now, move aside."

There was a loud screaming, and in the back of her mind, Artemis knew that it was her. But her mouth wasn't moving and she couldn't breathe.

Henry disappeared suddenly, as did Marlene, Abel, and Regulus. But the cave remained.

Stalactites pointed to the ground like accusatory fingers, all of them pointing at Artemis. A dark lake surrounded a small, rocky island that Artemis was standing on.

She looked around, confused at the change of scenery. Where was she? Artemis had never seen this place before.

But she wasn't alone. There was a male figure standing with his back turned towards her, facing a large basin. And there was a girl, too, with white-blonde hair, clutching at the boy's arms. It looked like she was pleading with him.

"It's the only way," the boy said to the girl. "You have to trust me."

"But we had a plan!" the girl shouted insistently. "This isn't the plan, Regulus! Let me drink it! Kreacher survived it; I can too."

"The plan changed. This is the new plan."

"Don't do this," the girl said, tears streaming down her face. "Don't you dare do this to me. I love you, please don't leave me."

The boy pulled the girl closer to him, and he kissed her softly. "I love you, too. But I have to, don't you see? It's the only way to stop the Dark Lord from gaining power."

"Not if I do it," the girl pleaded stubbornly.

"You're pregnant with our child. I want to give our child a future where no one even knows the Dark Lord's name. And that won't happen if you drink the poison. Even if you don't die, the poison will still affect the baby. This is our only chance, Artemis."

"Don't do this," she begged. "Don't you die on me."

The boy smiled sadly. "I love you, Artemis. I love you more than you know."

Then, a half-decomposed body staggered out of the water, it's destroyed fingers reaching out for the embraced couple. The boy shoved the girl away.

"Fight them," he said to her. "With fire. Incendio, just like we practiced."

The girl turned, and a tongue of fire lashed out of her wand. It collided with the body, and it fell back into the lake. But three more had already taken its place. And the boy was standing next to a basin, drinking something out of it.

Then, everything changed again.

It was nighttime, and the warm air was lit only by fire. There was a large crowd, and Artemis found herself standing near a tall hedge in front of the throng of people, some of which were carrying half-forgotten banners.

Then, there was a noise as two people popped into existence. Instruments struck up suddenly, as if the players had been waiting for someone to show up. The crowd started to cheer excitedly.

But something was wrong. Artemis could see it in the way one of the boys was sobbing and holding onto the other boy too tight.

The crying boy raised his head and Artemis's heart nearly stopped; James Potter, of all people, was laying on the ground. But his glasses, which were round circles instead of rectangles, framed jarring green eyes.

There was a devastating cry. A name, piercing the starry sky.

"Cassius!" the voice cried.

Artemis turned and found a girl around her age sprinting through the crowd, brown hair flying behind her. The girl continued screaming as she pushed through the crowd.

"He's back," the boy who looked like James Potter managed to get out. "Voldemort is back."

But the girl didn't care. She collapsed by the side of the fallen boy, screaming and crying out that name.

"Cassius!" the girl sobbed. The instruments had fallen silent, and the crowd seemed more confused than anything as the weeping boy and girl held the dead boy in their arms.

Artemis, feeling tears prick behind her eyes, knelt down beside the boy. He was handsome in an unconventional way, and he was wearing Slytherin colors. His hair was dark and curly but short. His face was peaceful, and he could be asleep. But his eyes were opened, and they were far too blank to belong to anything living. The dead boy's light-colored eyes stared without seeing at the star-filled sky.

"Don't you die on me," the brown-hair girl shouted through her wracking sobs. "You promised me! Cass, you promised!"

But the girl's protesting did not bring the dead boy to life. Not even as she leaned down and kissed him on the lips.

"You promised," the girl whispered.

And then, Artemis woke up.

•••

-OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY-
[ good mourning / halsey ]