Chapter Six

When I woke up the next day there was a sinister text on my phone.

530-520-1134: You better keep things to yourself

I knew it was from Paige. And I knew what she was referring to.

I decided to ignore it. It was Saturday. I had more important things to do on the weekend then to worry about what Paige may or may not do or say about me.

I got out of bed, dressed, and went down to the kitchen to grab some breakfast. My mom was already at the stove flipping pancakes expertly into the air. Two landed on the plate, and she swiveled around and set them down on the table in front of me. The syrup was already on the table waiting.

"Morning," she said.

"Morning."

I drowned the flapjacks in warm sweetness then dug in and devoured them in record time. I'd had pancakes for breakfast every weekend for the past month or so. But I didn't mind. I liked them. I could probably eat them for lunch and supper as well.

"What are you going to do today?"

"Probably hang out with Dylan. We have a science project due soon."

"That's nice." She turned around and started on the dishes.

I stared at her back. "Has Dad called?"

"No, but he will. You know how busy he gets at those conferences."

My dad was a pharmaceutical rep for a big drug company. He attended conferences at least once a month, and the rest of the time he was usually on the road doing sales calls. I didn't see much of him. Not lately anyway. Some days it was like he didn't exist at all.

I wiped my mouth, then stood. "Thanks for breakfast."

"You're welcome, have a good day." Before I could leave the kitchen though, my mom glanced over her shoulder. "Hey, do you want to go to church with me tomorrow?"

"Absolutely not."

"You used to love church."

"Yeah, like three years ago, besides that I also used to pick my nose, so there's that."

"All right, if you're sure."

"Oh I'm sure."

She smiled that sugary sweet smile of hers that didn't quite reach her usually expressive brown eyes, then turned back around to the sink to continue washing the dishes. It looked like she'd been rinsing that same dish on repeat.

I knew my mom was disappointed. Going to church had been our thing years ago. Something that just the two of us did together. Dad never bothered with church. He said he was too busy being the man of the house to waste time going to church on Sundays. Yes, my dad was still stuck in the past where men and women had assigned roles to play. Mind you, this whole town seemed stuck there some days.

Church had also been a place where I could spend time with Haven. The Mayberrys were avid church goers. Mrs. Mayberry was a fine upstanding Baptist, in which she would let a person know constantly by the withering judgmental looks she could bestow. She had kept a watchful eye on her daughter most times, but was usually too busy visiting and gossiping to know what Haven was doing during the church social. Eventually it had turned into a game for us, to see how many times we could talk to each other or touch each other without getting caught.

After grabbing my book bag and camera from my room, I headed out the door, but got stopped by a large casserole dish sitting on the stoop. I picked it up and carried it toward the kitchen. Mom was gone, so I continued on to toss it into the garbage. The note on top fluttered as I walked.

All my prayers to you, Cheryl and David. The Wendells.

I guessed Mrs. Mayberry didn't much care for potato casserole. I shook my head, feeling hurt for my mother, and kicked open the lid of the garbage can. I was going to have to bury the entire contents so my mom didn't know. It would crush her indomitable spirit.

While I held the glass dish, I remembered another day that I'd grasped the exact same one in the kitchen. It was about three years ago, and one of the last times I went to church with my mother.

"C'mon, let's go. We'll be late." I bounced from one foot to the other, I couldn't wait to get to the church.

"All right, all right. Cool your jets. Church isn't going anywhere."

"I know but we want to get a good seat."

My mom gave me a funny look. "Since when have you been so eager to go to church? The past year or so I've always had to drag you."

"Since I got Jesus in me." I raised my hand to the celling. "Praise the Lord. Hallelujah."

Mom just shook her head as I walked to the front door and slid on my shoes.

Once we arrived at New Hope, and deposited the casserole onto a table in the rectory, the pews were nearly packed. My mom went to sit near the back, but I pulled her up a few more pews and slid in.

As we got settled, I scanned the opposite pews for Haven. I found her a few rows up and over sitting with her mom and dad. A person couldn't miss Mrs. Mayberry while she wore that horrible looking hat. She always wore big horrible looking hats. This one was particularly hideous with gaudy yellow feathers. It looked like Big Bird had died on her head.

Haven's head was bent and it looked like she was reading a book. Finally, she looked up and met my gaze. A smile bloomed over her face, revealing perfect straight white teeth. She'd just gotten her braces off a few weeks earlier. It filled my belly with a warm glow. Haven's smiles always did that to me. It was like facing the sun after being in the dark for a long time. Corny, yes, but the God's honest truth. And I was in the house of the Lord, so I was compelled to tell the truth.

Pastor John walked up onto the dais, the hymn book in his hand. He set it down on the pulpit and opened it. "Let us sing. Page 215, My Jesus, I Love Thee."

Mom opened the hymn book and held it up for me to see. As I sang along with the congregation I couldn't take my eyes off Haven. And nor Haven me. It was like we were singing to each other. Although I knew God didn't have a problem with it, most of the congregation would. Just last Sunday, Pastor John gave a roaring lecture on the evils of homosexuality and the damages it was doing to heterosexual marriage and business. I didn't see the correlation, but the congregation ate it up like Sunday's potato salad.

In the middle of the song, Mrs. Mayberry glanced my way. I quickly put my attention onto the hymn book. Out of the corner of my eye, I spied her pinching the back of Haven's arm until she lowered her head. Haven didn't look at me during the rest of the service.

Later, I stood at the goodie table deciding on what I was going to devour, when Haven slid in next to me. She pointed to a plate of thick chocolatey brownies.

"You should definitely have one of those. I made them."

I took one and bit into it. Yup, chocolatey and delicious. "It's good."

Haven glanced over her shoulder to make sure her mother was still talking to Pastor John. She was. It looked like an intense conversation, as there were a lot of hand gestures. Haven looked back at me, then slid her hand along the table so it bumped into mine. Her index finger stroked the back of hand. It sent shivers down my body.

"I wish I could eat you up."

My cheeks flamed. I glanced around to make sure no one was paying attention to us. "Me too."

I had fallen in love with Haven the moment I met her, but I didn't know if she could ever feel the same. For the first six months of knowing her, we spent a lot of time together, goofing around like friends do. It wasn't until about a month ago, when she turned fifteen, that I knew Haven's feelings for me had changed. She touched me more. Light gentle touches on my hands and arms. She gained a habit of tucking stray hairs of mine behind my ears. And she'd been saying things, just like she did at the table, with that sly mischievous look of hers.

Our relationship was blossoming and I couldn't have been happier.

Then Jenna bounced into the picture, breaking the spell weaving around us. We snatched back our hands.

"Hi Haven."

"Hey Jenna."

Jenna scowled at me. Not sure what I ever did to her, but Jenna had always disliked me, even before Haven moved to our town.

"Do you want to come over later?" Jenna asked Haven.

"I don't know, maybe."

"I'll ask my dad."

She turned and bounced over to her father, Pastor John, who was still in deep conversation with Mrs. Mayberry.

Haven looked at me and said under her breath. "Save me."

I giggled and fell in love with her all over again.

An hour later, people were gathering up their dishes and punch bowls. My mom handed me the empty casserole dish and we made our way to the exit. When we walked out, I spotted Haven talking to her mom. I overheard them as well.

"I saw you talking to that Daisy earlier at the snack table."

"We weren't talking."

"She's a bad influence on you, Haven. Nothing good will come of you if you keep hanging around that sort of girl. I heard she's...that she's not a lady in any real sense."

"I don't talk to her, okay? Yeesh, quit worrying."

Mrs. Mayberry adjusted her ghastly hat. "Good."

My mom nudged me in the side. "Are you all right? You look pale."
"I'm fine." I looked down at the partially eaten casserole.

That was the last time I'd gone to church willfully.

I looked down now at the same glass dish, and dropped it into the garbage can. I pulled off some paper towels and covered it up. My mom would never know.