Have you ever been on one of those dates, when you wish you had the superpower of freezing time and disappearing?

No, you're lucky. Me however, I'm currently going through it.

My so called friends set me up on a blind date, after the trip to single-town was growing longer and longer. Personally, I thought I was onto a good thing. No wet towels on the floor, always have food in the fridge and I can starfish the bed every night.

But apparently it was only showcases my desperation to ending up with a house full of cats. Which is how I've ended up here, on a date. With Ed, who for the two hours been talking about his ex girlfriend who he is clearly still hung up on.

"She used to do this thing...."

I drone out his voice in favour of looking the spinach he has stuck in his teeth. I can't help it, it's right at the front, hard to miss if I'm honest.

From there I think about my own appearance, to the weather, to plans at the weekend and if I can evaporate from the table.

"She said that I have...."

Gone again.

I knew it was too good to be true, the moment he showed up wearing a baby blue shirt with blue eyes to match. He was a good looking guy, if only he could move on from Gemma the Gym Bunny.

If this was to go further, then I would be a rebound, and those are always doomed from the start. It's the pitstop after having your heart shattered. You're usually angry at the world and think you can move on, when you can't because no matter what, you're still hurting and subsequently, hurt the person you're dragging along for the fuckfest you've got yourself in.

"Do you like cats?" Ed asks. I almost go to answer when he continues "Gemma loves cats. We were planning to rehome...."

Maybe his obsession has something to do with the vast amount of glasses he has on the table. It seems he has quiet a thirst on tonight, no doubt from the endless chattering.

I picked a salad and one drink, mainly for the sake of it being a quick meal, especially when he started talking about Gemma and her fantastic abs. Ed had a steak the size of Texas and every side you could see.

He must have been quiet whilst he ate right? Wrong, he chewed and spoke with his mouth open.

Major. Turn. Off.

"You know, if you lost 20 pounds, you'd be a lot prettier." He says.

The comment almost wipes me off my seat, mainly because it wasn't Gemma- based. But then I get angry..

My brow cocks up one side as he then proceeds to pick up the bill and give a low whistle.

"We're going halves right?" He asks looking at me.

"Wrong." I answer slapping down twenty dollars before getting up from the table. "It's been painful, Ed. Good luck with your next victim."

I don't miss panic in his voice as I leave him with his whopper of a bill, but that's what happens when you presume and then body shame. No thank you.

As I get out into the warm Vegas evening, I take a breath, feeling relief and peace creep in from the endless stream of bullshit coming from Ed's lips.

Gemma the Gym Bunny has a lot to answer for!

I'm making my way across the parking lot when I hear it... Hear him.

"Wait! Come back!"

Looking over my shoulder, I find Ed, running after me, waving the bill at me as if I had more than an eight dollar salad and one drink.

"Yikes, no thanks." I say to myself speeding up.

My heels are killing my feet and I chide myself for parking so far away. So consumed on escaping, I miss the car that's coming towards me until it slams on its horn and almost knocks me down.

"Are you kidding?!" I shout hitting the hood with my hands before scarpering as Ed gets closer.

Rounding a sprinter van at speed, I don't see the guy until we hit into each other.

He grunts as I groan and the phone he has in his hand slips causing me to lunge. My hand grabs the phone just as his head smashes into mine.

"Owh!" We both hiss pulling back to glare at each other.

"Watch where you're going dammit!" He snaps rubbing his forehead and looking at his hand.

"Oh you're not bleeding, drama queen." I bite.

"Surprised with your steel head. Jesus, you got a plate in there?!"

"Actually, yes I do." I lie causing his face to pale and jaw to drop.

"I- I am so sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm sorry for my rudeness please don't be offended. I mean no harm-"

"I'm busting your balls." I tell him.

He looks at me before giving an uneasy laugh "Now I don't know if you're joking... This is getting awkward."

I'm about to reply when I hear Ed calling me.

"Oh no..." I whisper looking for a way out, when I look at the man in front of me. "You'll do."

"I'll do? Do for what?" He asks as I shoot towards him and hug him.

I can tell he is startled at first, his body is ridge and it's almost as if he's afraid of human contact but the tighter I hug and demand that he relaxes, the more he eases and hugs me back.

"It's so good to see you!" I beam, pulling back.

"Eh?"

"Play along or I'll break your phone." I whisper just as Ed rounds the van.

"Elenor?! Couldn't you hear me calling for you?" He asks out of breath.

My jaw clenches at my name, having told him over dinner that I prefer Elle or L, never Elenor. My mother has a lot to answer for too..

"No I didn't. Sorry, I just bumped into an old flame." I answer faking a smile and gesturing to poor man in front of me.

The stranger coughs in shock before nodding "Y-yeah, yeah that's me. Old flame."

"Oh, hi. I'm Ed."

"Zak." The stranger answers before looking at me.

"So you dated Elenor then?" Ed asks.

"Elle." Zak replies "She prefers Elle."

Ed nods almost as if his suspicions have been confirmed about something. "How did you meet?"

"Mutual friend.." I jump in. "Was there something wrong, Ed?"

Looking between Zak and myself, he shakes his head.

"Nothing wrong, I was wondering if you'd like to do this again sometime? Perhaps we could eat somewhere different? There's a health bar down town, we could do some cardio at the gym and go there after?"

Lord have mercy...

I'm trying to conjure up an answer from the pit of my soul, when Zak answers. "She'd love to. She will call you."

This time, I choke in surprise and watch as Zak, the devilishly handsome stranger smiles at Awkward hung up Ed.

"Okay, cool. Well I'll wait for your call." Ed grins before toddling off leaving me to glare at Zak.

"Why did you do that?!" I demand.

"I don't know. Seemed like fun." He answers taking his phone out of my hand and putting it away in his pocket. "Before you storm off with it."

"Do you have any idea what you've just done? What you've just subjected me too?!"

"Nope and don't care either. Nobody said you had to ring him."

I splutter. "You said I would!"

"Well forget then?" He shrugs stepping forward to get past.

I block his path "Oh no. Not so fast Mr...."

"Zak."

"Not so fast Mr Zak."

He laughs, momentarily stealing my air at the sight of him. Whoever he is, he is a hunk...

"Look, I need to get a drink. So why don't you come with me and tell me what exactly I've done? If not, please move out the way." He says.

I calculate my options and step aside.

"Good.." He says, but soon groans when I fall into step with him.

"Allow me to tell you all about Gemma the Gym Bunny and Steve the Steroid head....."