Twas the best of times and the worst of times...
That's what Dickens said. 

And of course, I felt a few of those moments throughout my life, none more than what I have now. 

Peering up from the pages of my book that's basked in the warm white light of the lamp, I stare across the bedroom at the man in the bed, who is spread eagle, jaw slacked and asleep. The band of rain predicted had made its way in, and washed the Vegas streets, cleansing it of its bad sins and unsavoury habits, now it was tapping away at the large panes of glass beside me. The small almost rhythmic beats are surprisingly soothing to me, if only they were as soothing for him....

"N-no.. No." He mutters in his dream state. I watch as his fingers scratch across the bedding as he makes a fist with his hand and how his body twitches, trying to fight whatever he is seeing in his minds eye. 

I don't move from my position, not yet, because I know that whatever he is experiencing will pass. It does a couple minutes later.

Sighing gently, I keep my eyes on him, feeling the pinch of selfishness within me, knowing I should have been there to soothe him back. But I didn't. From the moment he came home, I could see he was tormented, burdened and weighed down. But there was nothing I could do, but support him until whatever was holding on had passed. 

I knew what I was getting into when I met him. He was always up front and honest about what he was, who he was and how he acted at times. He had given me fair warning in advance and had even told me that the chance of breaking my heart was there because of who he is. But I didn't listen, I couldn't, I wouldn't and I won't.

Because despite his faults, deep down, I know there is someone there waiting, wanting, desperately to be loved. The man who felt as though he had spent 99% of his life in the darkness had good inside him. I saw it, even if people chose not to. Blinded by love is what they say, but I disagree. I wasn't a believer of love at first sight, yet when I first saw him, head to toe in black clothing, I knew... I knew there was good in him. 

My fingers play the string of my bookmark aimlessly, causing me to look down and smile at it. The bookmark he made after realising I was dog earring the pages so that I wouldn't lose my place. The paper had been stained with tea and burned slightly at the edges, whilst a large drawing of a bat in pencil, flew between the Dracula quote he knew I loved, finished off with a laminator and cut down to size. 

It's not just the book mark, I saw the good in him when he gave to charities, bought food for the homeless, tended to the wounds of the animals at the shelter. The goodness was there, but it often struggled with the dark.

"G... Off." He mutters pushing his arms away from him. Slipping the bookmark into the pages, I set my book down and cross the room, perching on the side of the bed. 

A sweat covered body lays in the sheets, fighting the demons of sleep that trouble him. Every night was the same, and for the sake of the bruises I have on my legs, from his thrashing, I decided to let him go to sleep first, hoping that when I do finally get in beside him, that his night will be peaceful. 

"No... Go." He talks to himself, frowning deeply. With a gentle touch, I lay my hand on his cheek.

 "I'm here." I lull quietly. His head rolls across the pillow in the direction of my voice, almost as if his soul can sense mine. "Shh..."

A huff leaves his body as he rolls onto his side almost tucking himself closer towards me. Smiling gently, I rub his back, coaxing him into a better place, before I retreat back and stand slowly.
Creeping around the bed, I climb in behind him and settle down into the sheets, staring at the artwork across his back. Running my fingers down his spine and across the deep red scratches that found their way on his skin, he shivers, before rolling onto his back and turning to face me.

His eyes open briefly, gracing me with the beauty of his grey orbs. We don't speak, but his lips curve into a small smile as he takes my hand and brings it to his mouth, kissing my knuckles.
Then his eyes close and he is gone again, back into the dreaming realm. 

His small gesture touches deep within me, and I find myself moving closer, despite knowing that he kicks in his nightmares. Right now, I don't care, I just want to be close. 

"There are darknesses in life and there are lights, and you are one of the lights, the light of all lights." I quote to his resting face.

I never signed up to be his protector at night, to be the one that banishes the night terrors that quake his soul into despair. But that is what I have become, and it's a duty that I will not abandon.

I don't know when it happened, but I fell in love with this man and I intend on keeping all my promises. He warned me of the troubles he could bring, but deep down, I believe that was his way of trying to protect his heart as well as mine. Before I had realised it, he was willing to make sacrifices for me, ones that could potentially hurt his soul. But he did it, only showing me yet another good way within him. 

He may be shrouded in evil, he may contend with the darkness and fight whatever it may bring. But as long as I am at his side, I will always remind him that there is light within his soul and I vow never to let that light fade out..