Chapter 43 - "To the year ahead."

Two days after Hayley was discharged from hospital, we had a visit from the police. Student Services had knocked on our door, causing Jack to immediately turn down his music due to the assumption that they were investigating a noise complaint.

"Can we have a chat with you in the kitchen?" the two members of staff asked.

As we were congregating in the kitchen, two male police officers had arrived, accompanied by a spaniel.

"We're following up on a drugs tip-off," one officer announced.

"A tip-off?" Jack scoffed. "A girl overdosed and you're investigating a tip-off? I think you're a little late."

Silence consumed the room, but the police barely flinched at Jack's outburst. Student Services glared at his clear lack of respect, but the biggest shock came from the next sentence uttered.

"We're here with a warrant to search your rooms with reason to believe you all possess Class A drugs."

"I suggest you all co-operate," the Student Services woman said, her eyes on Jack. "A girl almost died in here because of your recreational activities."

"Nobody else in this flat takes drugs," Jack said. "It was only ever Hayley and Gemma."

"We've reason to believe otherwise," the officer said. "If you all remain in here and we'll return once we're done."

The police left with the dog, leaving us in the kitchen with the company of Student Services.

"I mean, are they having a fucking laugh?" Jack spluttered, his eyes wide as he tried to gauge everyone else's opinion on the matter.

"I don't understand." Shaun frowned. "Why has this tip-off come after Hayley's overdose?"

"Well, none of us have drugs so it should be fine," I said.

"Yeah, if anything it'll just prove that Hayley and Gemma were the only ones involved," Shaun added.

"She probably made the tip-off herself." Bitterness consumed Jack's tone. "She's not even here and she's still managing to be a bitch."

"Jack, come on, mate," Phil said. "She could have died."

"Through her own fault! She chose to take the drugs. She was probably showing off by mixing Class A, Class B and Class whatever-fucking-else that night. It's about time people realised that drugs aren't always fun and cool. I really hope she's humiliated."

Student Services said nothing but looked on with disapproval at Jack's callousness. On the night of the fourteenth, Jack had persuaded Shaun and Phil to go to a house party and they'd all ended up crashing there. Even though Jack clearly believed that Hayley deserved to experience the true danger of drugs, he probably felt a bit guilty that his desire to go to the house party was the reason nobody else was in the flat that evening to help her.

What exactly had happened was still a mystery; the toxicology report had found a combination of drugs in Hayley's system, but the flat had been deserted when Nathan and I had returned. Gemma was nowhere to be seen, and she'd since dropped out due to trauma.

The police conducted a thorough search of our rooms but found nothing to implicate the rest of us. They left shortly after, as did Student Services. Jack had calmed down slightly, and I wondered if paranoia had gotten the better of him. Maybe he assumed Hayley had sneaked something in there in a bitter attempt to incriminate him.  

"I just can't wait for things to get back to normal," he said quietly, and I think we all silently agreed.  

*

A week later, Hayley's parents turned up at the flat to empty out her room. With both Hayley and Gemma no longer around, the whole flat dynamic was a lot more relaxed and we'd taken to using the kitchen as our communal area. It was in the kitchen that Hayley's parents found us.

"I hope you're all proud of yourselves," her mother said, and her icy tony instantly silenced the conversation we'd been having. "My little girl has been in hospital and you're all sitting around laughing!" 

"With all due respect," Jack began calmly. "Hayley was the one who decided to take the drugs." 

"Due to peer pressure from all of you, no doubt!" the woman snapped. "She's told us what it was like living here! I'm absolutely disgusted. You should all be ashamed of yourselves." 

Before any of us could respond, the kitchen door opened again and Hayley slid through it, standing in between her parents.  

"Can we just get my stuff and go, please?" she asked her parents quietly, perfecting the role of the innocent victim. "I can't bear to be in here any longer." 

"Of course, darling." Her mum ran a soothing hand through her daughter's hair. "I know it must be difficult for you."

As Hayley turned to leave, Jack called after her. "Aren't you going to thank Izzy?"

Tension crackled through the silent air. We all waited to see if Hayley would swallow her pride, but her mother got there first. 

"Thank her?" she all but spat. "Thank her for what? For getting her involved with drugs? For nearly killing her?" 

I narrowed my eyes, offended but not confident enough to speak up and confront this woman. She was clearly in denial, so nothing I said was going to convince her otherwise. Jack, however, wouldn't let it drop.

"For saving her life. Izzy found her and if she hadn't, then your 'little girl' probably wouldn't be standing here today."

"How dare you?" Her outrage bounced off the tiled walls. "Get some goddamn respect!" 

"Just take no notice of him, Mum," Hayley said quietly, tugging on her mother's hand. "He's the guy I was telling you about...the one who tried to force himself on me that time..." 

That silenced Jack. It silenced all of us, apart from Shaun, who spoke up in a rare display of bravery.  

"You fucking bitch," he snapped. "We listened to you bring guys back time and time again. You led Jack on and then dropped him when you got bored. So don't make such serious allegations. You're rude, heartless and selfish. You took those drugs thinking only of yourself, and then have the cheek to accuse us of pressuring you. You never once thought about the implications, or how much it would worry your parents if you, say, I don't know, overdosed. You're lucky Izzy was there that morning otherwise you might not be standing here today, so why don't you swallow your pride and express your gratitude?" 

Hayley's eyes flickered over me but she said nothing. I was hurt, but not surprised. At the end of the day, Nathan and I were never going to just leave Hayley on that floor, no matter how horrible of a person she was.  

"I hope you're proud of your daughter," Jack told the woman. "You've brought her up really well."  

The father, who'd said nothing for the entire conversation, pulled at his wife's arm to show that they should now leave. It appeared that Jack had had the last word as the whole family exited the kitchen.

"Well, at least now we know where Hayley gets it from," Jack said casually, breaking the awkward tension radiating around the kitchen. "Excuse me, I need to go and release some anger."

Without any further ado, Jack swept through the kitchen door and took off down the corridor. A few seconds later, his bedroom door slammed shut.

"Do you think I should check he's okay?" I asked the others.

"Probably a good idea." Shaun nodded.

"Yeah, we don't want any more visits from the police," Phil added light-heartedly.

As I made my way up to Jack's room, Phil's words ringing in my head, I thought about what Jack had previously said about the tip-off. I was so busy exploring this potentially new revelation, that I let myself into Jack's room without knocking. He jumped in surprise at my entrance and quickly closed down Facebook.

"What are you hiding?" I frowned.

"Nothing," he answered casually. "You just made me jump and so closing down the webpage was my automatic reaction."

"You okay?" I asked him, perching on his bed and crossing one leg over the other as I leaned against his wardrobe.

He sighed and closed his laptop lid before slowly rubbing the bridge of his nose. Jack didn't get stressed very often but, when he did, he always rubbed at the bridge of his nose, like it was a calming mechanism for him.  

"Yeah," he said. "There's no point getting upset over people like that. They're not worth my time or effort."

I smiled. "Exactly. I just thought, actually, it was probably them who made the tip-off."

Jack cast his eyes to the side as he considered this. "Well, now you mention it...it'd make perfect sense. Hayley obviously told them that we were the ones who got her into drugs..."

He trailed off and then sighed, head bowed down. I hated seeing Jack upset; he was usually such an upbeat, jokey person.

"What's up?" I reached to squeeze his shoulder.

"I dunno. I guess part of me can't wait for this year to be over, and part of me doesn't want to start second year."

"Hayley's gone now. Second year will be much smoother, I'm sure." 

"Hayley will be gone yeah, but so will you." 

A pang of guilt stabbed at my heart. Maybe he was just emotional and, come second year, the boys would have a great time in their lads' house.

"You can come visit," I told him.

"It's not quite the same as just popping into your room whenever I feel like it," he replied, offering me a small smile.

"Well, just as long as you know you're always welcome," I said. "I'm sure Nathan would be grateful for the male company, too."

"Of course I'll come and see you, but you and Nath are starting a new life together and I have to respect that and give you some privacy. I'll visit regularly but I'll never turn up unannounced."

I pursed my lips, contemplating his words. "Yeah, it's crazy to think that I'm moving in with my boyfriend at twenty, isn't it?"

Jack shrugged. "I don't think so. You're ready for it, and that's more than most couples can say. I'm pretty envious, to be honest, Izzy."

"Envious?" I frowned. "Of what?"

"Honestly, I came to uni thinking that I'd be getting with girl after girl. I boasted to my friends about how I wouldn't get into a relationship during first year because first year is for going out, getting drunk and getting with girls..."

"Well, I mean, it sort of is," I agreed with a shrug. 

"I just want a nice girl," he sighed. "But all the nice girls are taken."  

"You know, girls say the same thing about guys," I smirked. "There are no good guys left, all the nice ones are gay or have girlfriends..." 

"But that's what's annoying! Girls choose to go out with dickheads, and then they complain about there not being any nice guys. Maybe if one of them gave me a chance then they'd realise that there are, in fact, decent guys out there."

"Good things come to those who wait," I told him, raising my eyebrows to reinforce my wise remark.

"That better be true."

I stood up from his bed and reached across to hug him. He squeezed me back and then ruffled my hair.

"Shall we go out for a bite to eat?" he suggested.

"Sure," I agreed eagerly. "Let's do that." 

*

As I sat in my room, staring blankly at the Spanish grammar book in front of me, I found myself reflecting on my first year at university. Exams were rapidly approaching, and whilst our first-year grades didn't count towards our degree, we still needed to pass the exams.

Without Hayley and Gemma, the flat was a much calmer — and emptier — place to be. It made studying much easier, but it also made life in general much easier. When I'd imagined being at university, I had of course considered the fact I'd be mixing with lots of different people. Perhaps it was naïve of me to think that everyone would be civil with each other, though, despite their differences. To me, university was a mature place. Sure, people could still act immaturely to let their hair down, but I'd never anticipated girls being blatantly cruel towards other girls; that was petty high school behaviour.

I was a strong believer in things happening for a reason. Matt cheating on me was one of the hardest things I'd had to go through, but it opened the door to a relationship with Nathan, and now I couldn't be happier.

Similarly, this year at university had really tested me and there'd been some tough moments — both with friendships and with my relationship with Nathan — but I'd overcome the obstacles and it had made me a stronger person. I was no longer insecure and worried all the time. I'd learnt to trust my boyfriend, and it was refreshing not to have those extra worries hanging over me. Both mentally and sexually, I'd progressed into a more confident individual.

There was a soft knock at my door and Nathan stuck his head around it. "Want to grab some lunch?"

"Sure. Let me just finish these exercises."

"No problem. What are they on?" He cocked an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Oh, uh..." I stuttered, quickly casting my eyes back onto the page. What had I been working on? Was it the subjunctive or had I finished those?

"You're not fooling anyone, Bella." Nathan winked. "If you're not revising, you might as well come for lunch and then continue with a fresh mind afterwards."

Accepting that he was right, I placed my pen down onto the page I'd been working on and then shut the book. Lunch suddenly sounded like a great idea, and my rumbling stomach clearly agreed with me.

As we passed his room, Nathan asked if Jack wanted to join us, but he politely declined.

"What?" I gasped in shock. "You're turning down an invitation for food?"

"I have plans," he replied pointedly, rolling his eyes. "Sorry that I don't keep my diary empty in case of any impromptu lunches."

"Plans like what?"  

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he shot back. "It's a Skype date if you must know!" 

"A Skype date?" I smirked. "I guess it's with the same mystery girl you've been talking to for the past couple of months?" 

"No, not a romantic date. I just meant a Skype appointment. A conversation. Taking place today."

"Should have been clearer about that, then..." I tossed him a playful smile.

"Have a nice lunch," he muttered, turning his eyes back to his laptop screen to demonstrate that he was done with our conversation.

Giggling to myself, I took Nathan's hand and we headed out of the flat and descended the stairs.

"So, Jack's got a mystery girl?" Nathan asked me as we strolled through the car park.

"You tell me. I'm sure he talks to you about it more than he talks to me, what with you both being guys and all..."

Nathan shook his head and squeezed my hand. "He's genuinely not mentioned any potential girlfriend to me. We don't really talk about girls; it's awkward, you know, since he's close to both of us..."

"Yeah but surely you talk about his romances?"

"As far as I'm aware, he doesn't have any girls on the go." Nathan shrugged. "Maybe it's early days and he's trying to keep it quiet. People can be superstitious like that."

I sighed. "Yeah, I guess. I mean, I don't even know if there is a girl, but he's been acting mighty strange recently. Whenever I go into his room, he closes down Facebook. He's always having secret calls, and he never lets me near his phone anymore. Now there's mysterious Skype conversations?"

Nathan chuckled. "Oh, Bella, you're far too suspicious. There could be a million reasons for all those things. I mean, are you seriously upset by the fact he won't let you near his phone? That's just general privacy."

"No, I know," I said quickly. "And if it had always been like that then I wouldn't think anything of it. But, if he was busy studying, he used to ask me to send a quick message to someone or to Google something for him... He never had anything to hide and if he was texting girls, then I'd been the first person he'd show the message to because he wanted advice."

"Maybe that's why those relationships didn't work out," Nathan teased, smirking down at me.

I jabbed an elbow into his side. "I'll have you know that my advice is second to none."

Releasing my hand, Nathan swung his arm around my shoulder instead. "I'm sure it is."

Over lunch, the banter continued. There was something so easy and natural about our relationship, and it just reminded me of how things really do work out for the best.

"Do you believe in fate?" I asked him.

His eyes flickered with surprise; up to this point, our conversation had been relatively light-hearted.

"In what context?"

"You know, like everyone's life is going to turn out a certain way regardless of the choices we make?"

He shrugged. "I'd like to think that you and I would still have ended up together if we hadn't met at that bar."

I wanted to think that, too. How would it have happened? At school, surely. We'd always have bumped into each other, in one way or another.

"Yeah," I agreed. "I think I've just been looking back over this year and wondering how it differs to what I'd have expected."

Nathan lifted his drink to his lips and took a small sip. "And how does it differ?"

"Well, I never expected to meet someone like Hayley," I replied. "But in turn, that's made me a more confident person because it forced me to stand up for myself. I used to hate that kind of thing in school. I was too passive."

Nathan nodded, understanding this. "That'll help you in the work environment, too. See, even if university isn't what you expected, it's still taught you a whole range of things that aren't necessarily to do with your degree."

"I'm sure there's still plenty more to learn."

"Indeed. Life is one big learning curve."

"And I'm ready for the next chapter now."

"I can't wait for the next chapter." Nathan grinned. "Waking up next to you and falling asleep next to you..."

"Me too." My smile faded. "I still think our biggest challenge is yet to come, though."

"Your year abroad?" Nathan raised an eyebrow before taking another sip of his beer.

I nodded. "Yeah, and to think we worried about this year."

"I know it seems silly in hindsight," Nathan replied slowly, "but it was still going to be a change from what we were used to, and change can be frightening. We've got a year before that, though. Let's concentrate on the year ahead."

I raised my glass in toast. "That sounds good. To the year ahead."

He smiled and once again I saw that look of pure happiness cross his face as he knocked his glass against mine.

"To the year ahead."

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