Chapter 40 - "Drugs are for mugs."

Jess threw her arms around me as we greeted each other on the platform at the train station. Any sign of her previous sadness was no longer visible and had been completely replaced with excitement instead.

"It's so good to see you!" she gushed, once we'd released each other from the hug.

"You too! Your hair looks nice — have you had it done?"

She nodded and ran a hand through her thick, brown locks. It was significantly shorter now but still oozed a volume and waviness of which I was envious.

We began our walk towards my halls of residence. It wasn't too much of a trek and luckily it wasn't raining, either. I'd asked Jess if she'd prefer to get a taxi, but she'd said she wanted some fresh air after the train journey.

"I'm so excited for a night out," she told me.

"Yeah, what do you want to do?" I asked. "We can go to a club, or if you fancy something a little quieter then there are some nice cocktail bars."

"Honestly, I really don't mind," she said. "My flat at uni never goes out and people spend all their time in their rooms...my social life is non-existent."

"Well, my flat's a bit weird at the moment," I warned her. "There's a definite split forming, anyway."

"Hayley and Gemma?"

"Yeah." I sighed. "I mean, the boys are still alright, I guess... Jack's as great as ever."

As we approached the block of flats, I punched in the security number to open the door. Jess was panting by the time we made it to the top floor.

"How do you do that every day?"

"You get used to it," I assured her with a smile. "It's great for your fitness. Means you don't have to feel guilty about not doing any exercise."

"I never feel guilty about not doing exercise."

"Me neither." I smirked.

Unsurprisingly, Jack was lurking when I let Jess into the flat. He casually strolled into my bedroom and interrupted a conversation about alcohol that Jess and I were having.

"Afternoon, ladies," he greeted smoothly.

Jess straightened up from where she'd been leaning over her suitcase to unpack. Despite Jack addressing both of us, I might as well have been invisible as his eyes focused entirely on my friend.

"I can only apologize on Izzy's behalf for her clear lack of hosting skills," he said to Jess, holding out his hand. "I'm Jack."

I rolled my eyes. "Jack, she's only just arrived."

"Izzy, it's fine; you don't want to share me and I get that," he said with a casual shrug. "But I can already sense some real chemistry between Jess and me."

"Jack, you pig." I snorted. "That's exactly the same line you used on me when we first met."

A sheepish smile formed on his face. "Well, second time lucky." He released Jess' hand from their handshake.

"In your dreams..." I said, hanging one of Jess' dresses up in my wardrobe.

"Anyway," Jack said to her. "If you need anything, then my room is at the end of the corridor. It's the one on the right, the same side as the kitchen. You don't want to be going into the room opposite mine. Well, unless you want MDMA, of course."

"MDMA?" Jess repeated.

"Yeah, it's like Ecstasy," Jack clarified.

"I know what it is," Jess said.

"Izzy didn't. She had to go on Talk to Frank's website to read about it."

I scowled at him but wasn't really surprised that Jess was more streetwise than me about these things. After all, she was studying Chemistry at Oxford.

"I was going to get round to telling you about the drugs," I said. "Jack and I only found out last night."

"No, it's fine." She waved off my concern. "You said they don't come on nights out with you anymore anyway, so I doubt it'll end up affecting us."

"So, what's your stance on recreational drug use?" Jack asked her casually, as though he was asking for her opinion on the weather or something else equally mundane.

Jess shrugged. "Drugs are for mugs."

"Love that." Jack grinned.

"Hayley seems to think it's completely normal," I explained to her.

Jess laughed at that. "Such a typical student. Taking Class A drugs isn't 'normal'."

"Yeah, well, she's always been an idiot," Jack said. "Fuck knows how she got into uni."

"Jack sometimes has quite strong views," I quickly explained to Jess.

As she was someone who didn't openly slate people, I was worried that she'd disapprove of Jack's outspokenness.

"I'll be interested to hear more of them," she said with a smile.

"So, what are we doing tonight?" Jack asked with a grin, sitting down on my bed.

"We?" I repeated, raising my eyebrows. "This is a girls' weekend, Jack."

He pouted, giving me sad puppy dog eyes. I didn't fall for it; Jess, however, being the kind-hearted soul that she was, did.

"Oh, it's fine! He can come along. It's fine with me."

"I mean, I won't come along to all the stuff you do," he quickly amended, glancing at me. "Just to, you know, the fun stuff."

With that apparently settled, Jack left us in peace to continue unpacking. Since I was unsure about whether Jess would be comfortable discussing her relationship in front of a guy she'd only just met, I decided to bring up the subject of Alex whilst Jack wasn't around.

"I mean, we've not really discussed it," she was saying as we sat opposite each other on my bed.

"Does he know you're spending the weekend here?" I asked.

She nodded. "I told him we wouldn't be able to talk as much because I was busy with you." She gave me a smile that was both calculating and yet guilty.

I couldn't withhold my own smile. "Well, he had his chance."

She forced a more genuine smile. "I know. I just wish I knew what was going on inside his head, you know? How can things be so perfect when we're together, and yet fall apart when we're at uni?"

"They're not falling apart, Jess. He just has some evident issues that you need to address."

"I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong," she mumbled.

"Hey," I said firmly, reaching for her hand on top of the duvet. "You're not doing anything wrong. Until you discuss it, however, you're not going to know what's bothering him. It's clearly something. It could be anything from laziness to some deep-rooted psychological problem."

"Maybe we could ask Hayley to diagnose him," she said, attempting humour. "She does psychology, right?"

I grinned. "Maybe. Although I wouldn't recommend it. She has a tendency to hit on every man she comes into contact with."

Jess then sighed. "I know he's not cheated."

"Oh, that wasn't what I meant!" I quickly said. "I didn't mean, you know—"

"No, I know," she interrupted. "But that was my immediate thought, you know? What if he's met someone else that he'd rather spend his time around?"

I shook my head. "No. Alex adores you. Everyone could see that."

She nodded. "I know. And Christmas proved that. If he'd cheated, there's no way he'd have been able to hide his guilt. Some guys just aren't wired to be cheaters."

I thought about Nathan; despite my initial insecurities and our many arguments, I knew he would never cheat on me. He cared too much, and he'd never want to inflict pain upon me. Throughout our whole relationship, before we were even a couple, he'd spent day after day just trying to make me happy. Jess was right; some guys aren't wired to be cheaters. They care too much.

"Anyway," she said brightly. "Discussing Alex won't solve the problem. That's something him and I need to work through together. So... what are we doing tonight?"

"Up to you. You're the guest. What are you feeling?"

"This is going to sound so boring," she warned me. "But I really fancy watching a movie. I never have anyone to watch films with anymore. We can go out tomorrow night once I'm re-energised."

"Sounds good to me," I said.

*

The film we chose was a romantic comedy, easy to follow and allowing us plenty of time to chat without losing the gist of what was going on. Despite claiming that it was a stupid film, Jack joined us.

I was telling Jess about what had gone down when Nathan and I met up for drinks with Pedro and Louisa.

"I've never seen that side of Nathan," I was saying. "He was so cold and... I don't know...possessive."

"Of course he was." Jack scoffed. "Some other dude kissed his girl. He wasn't going to be all fine and dandy about it, was he?"

"Well, I realise that now," I retorted. "I'm just saying it's a side I've never seen from him before."

"The guy worships the ground you walk on, Izzy," Jack said. "I'm surprised he didn't punch Pedro."

"So what happened with Louisa and Pedro then?" Jess asked.

"Well, nothing according to Pedro," I said. "Apparently she invited him back, but he slept on the sofa and they didn't even kiss."

"Do you think she was doing it to make Nathan jealous?" Jess asked. "You know, flirting so blatantly with Pedro in front of him, and then cooling right off once Nathan was gone?"

I shrugged. "Who knows? Pedro says they text loads."

"Can we just watch the film now?" Jack asked.

"I thought you said it was a stupid film?" I reminded him.

"Well, it's not as stupid as discussing Nathan and Louisa," he shot back.

I sighed. "Jack..."

"I'm sorry; it just makes me feel really uncomfortable," he murmured, shifting in his seat and looking down. "I feel so bad on Nathan."

"We know Nathan's a good guy," Jess assured Jack. "We know he wouldn't do anything."

"Exactly," Jack said. "He loves you so much, Izzy. He's told me himself that there's nothing going on with Louisa. I just think we should move on from it all."

"I trust him," I told Jack. "I've come a long way since last year. It still makes me feel weird, though."

"I just feel so sorry for him. The poor guy is doing everything he can to reassure you—"

"Yeah, but that's sort of the point," I interrupted. "Why does he feel the need to constantly reassure me? Why does he feel like he has to be a dick to Louisa in front of me?"

"Think about it from his point of view. He knows how you feel about his past, and in a moment of desperation he hired his ex because he knew she'd be good at the job and she'd prevent him from getting fired. He probably feels so guilty about that, knowing that you've worried about it and got upset about it. He's now trying everything he can to prove to you that you don't need to worry."

"I get why he's doing it," I insisted. "I just wish I could assure him that he doesn't need to."

"To be honest, Izzy, if anyone needs to be making an effort then it's you," Jack said bluntly. "And I don't mean that in a bad way. Louisa has never tried anything with Nathan, whereas Pedro has made a move with you. You've got no reason not to trust Louisa, but Nathan has one very good reason not to trust Pedro."

"As much as I understand where you're coming from," I told Jack slowly and carefully. "Pedro knows where we stand on that. He's not going to try it again."

"It's not about that, though," Jack replied. The film was now forgotten about as the topic that Jack originally wanted to avoid was quickly becoming a debate. "You don't know if Louisa likes Nathan or not. For all you know, she might not have the slightest bit of interest in him. But we all know that Pedro likes you. Nathan is probably worried that you'll start to like Pedro too."

I sighed. It would never happen, of course, but I could see where Jack was coming from. He was making a valid point; just because Nathan didn't ever explicitly state his insecurities, it didn't necessarily mean that they didn't exist.

"Well, I think this is something that'll blow over," Jess said. "As long as you both trust each other, that's all that matters."

She had the final word and nobody else spoke up for the duration of the film. Jack squeezed my hand, though, to assure me that he hadn't meant any harm with his words. I couldn't help but feel like this whole Louisa/Pedro business was going to come to a head at some point. After all, if we were both still bothered by it, then it was clearly still an issue.

*

"I like Jack," Jess said as we strolled around Hyde Park on Saturday, armed with takeaway hot chocolate to keep us warm. "I'm glad you've got a friend like him here."

"He's one of the good ones, that's for sure."

"I really do hope he finds someone, though."

"He deserves a nice girl," I said, nodding. "He's been taken advantage of far too much."

"It's always the nice ones who get taken advantage of," Jess said quietly, and she didn't need to clarify what she was suggesting by that.

As we headed back through London, we noticed that a new cocktail bar had opened and was offering 2-4-1s in celebration. Since we'd still not completely decided on a plan for the evening, we decided we'd give it a go.

Despite Jack's initial enthusiasm at spending the weekend with us, he didn't seem overly keen to go to a cocktail bar.

"Cocktails? Are you kidding?"

I rolled my eyes. "We're not forcing you to come, Jack."

"Nah, this is a deliberate sabotage," he stated, shaking his head. "You knew I wouldn't come to a cocktail bar, so you've purposely chosen to go there."

"Are we really that deceitful?" I asked him.

"Well, I don't know about Jess but you certainly are," he shot back. "Maybe I'll invite Nathan around for some FIFA..."

"Don't be a dick," I told him with a small smile.

He shrugged. "Well, why not? He's not spending time with you...I'm sure he'd be up for it."

"I'm spending this weekend with Jess, not Nathan. It's a strictly no-boyfriends weekend."

"Well, that's fine, because he'll be with me, not you," Jack said. "Unless, of course, you don't think you'll be able to keep away..."

I sighed and decided to call his bluff. "Okay then, fine. Do what you want. I hope you and Nathan have a lovely evening together."

"I'm sure we will." He grinned, picking up his phone from the desk and proceeding to scroll through it. I didn't know if he was actually calling Nathan or if he was just pretending to. Either way, I didn't hang around to find out.

For our evening at the cocktail bar, Jess and I dressed up. Unlike my usual nights out, I was a lot more relaxed as I got ready. It had a lot to do with the fact that I was going out with Jess and I trusted her. Normally, I'd be slightly apprehensive about going out with the flat since I was never quite sure how the evening would pan out — if there would be any drama, what would happen if I wanted to go home early, or if I accidentally drank too much alcohol.

As well as that, though, I was truly looking forward to a girly evening of gossiping and tasty alcohol; there was only so much vodka and lemonade you could drink before it became less about the taste and more about its effectiveness at getting you drunk.

Jess might be very study-focused, but she always knew how to let her hair down and have fun. I could understand why she'd been so excited about this night out if her own flat back at Oxford weren't particularly outgoing. As we finished off our make-up, wearing a lot more than we normally would, Jess took out her phone and demanded we take some selfies.

"Must we?" I groaned, sitting on the edge of the bed as I fastened the buckles on my stilettos. "I hate selfies."

"That's a lie." Jess' eyes stayed on her phone as she loaded up the camera and started flicking through the various settings. "You're constantly uploading photos of Nathan and you."

"That's different," I insisted. "They're couple photos, not selfies."

"And besides," she continued, "I need to look like I'm having fun at uni. I'm already struggling with the Oxford stereotype."

I sighed and slowly stood up, extending my arms to balance so as not to totter over in these ridiculous shoes.

"Okay," I conceded, and she shot me an appreciative grin before throwing her arm around my neck and pulling our heads close together as she held the phone up in front of us.

With the obligatory selfies out of the way, we commenced our journey to the cocktail bar. It was a long journey, partly to do with the Tube being busy, but mainly due to our severely decreased walking speed as we precariously wobbled around in heels that are clearly meant for people with more stiletto experience than ourselves.

The bar itself was ultra-modern, entirely dark with various-coloured overhead lights illuminating the different tables.

Perusing the menu was often one of the best parts of cocktail bars; Jess and I spent a good while looking at all the different combinations of alcohol, juices and flavours, before eventually settling on two of the most famous cocktails: a Mojito and a Cosmopolitan.

"Oxford must have plenty of nice places like this, surely?" I said to Jess.

She shrugged and fixed her mouth around her straw, sucking lightly and then swallowing.

"I guess," she replied. "Alex and I have been to a few restaurants, and there are some nice ones, yeah."

I encouraged her to tell me more and she gradually slipped into a relaxed description of Oxford's various sites and cultural points of interest. Even though she didn't seem to share much exploring with her flatmates, I was glad she at least had Alex to experience it all with.

When she suggested I come to visit her, I eagerly agreed, although we both acknowledged that our relationship arrangements might get in the way. That was one of the best things about having a friend who was also in a relationship; they understood that sometimes relationships needed more effort than friendships.

"I just think you should be straight up with Alex," I said after we'd ordered the second round of drinks, this time a Margarita and a Piña Colada. "At the end of the day, it's bothering you and isn't that a good enough reason to bring it up?"

She sighed and used her straw to absentmindedly stir her drink, the ice churning the colourful liquid.

"Yeah," she conceded. "But he must know it bothers me. He can't seriously think it's acceptable?"

"Then you've got to ask yourself why he keeps doing it if he knows it's unacceptable."

"I think I'm just scared," she murmured, so quietly that I could barely hear over the increasingly loud music. "I mean, what if I don't like the reason? What if he's having second thoughts about the relationship? Or, even worse, what if he is cheating?"

I frowned and shook my head. "Alex is a decent guy, Jess. He'd never cheat on you. And like we said yesterday, some guys just aren't wired to cheat. Even if he was, then he'd never be able to hide it. You said things were great at Christmas. Just keep that thought in your head as reassurance."

"Well, what about you and Nathan? There are still clear unresolved issues there."

"But they're not really upsetting me," I said in my defence. "Alex upsets you."

"That's not the point. Nathan is acting weird and you need to nip it in the bud, whether that's by talking things through or by reassurance that you trust him."

"Okay, I'll make you a deal." I smiled. "I'll talk things through with my boyfriend this week, if you promise to do the same with yours."

With a smile, she held out her hand and we shook on it. "So, the next time we talk on Skype, we should have both resolved our issues," she told me.

"Exactly."

After a couple more rounds, we left the bar at around ten o'clock. Our previous feelings of being two young, sophisticated women quickly dissipated as we stumbled into the Tube station, each armed with a portion of cheesy chips and mayonnaise.

We were still giggling and munching on chips by the time we made it back to halls. However, as we staggered through the car park, I tugged Jess to a halt, my eyes catching sight of something a little further ahead.

"That's Pedro," I whispered, even though he was so far away that he wouldn't be able to hear me.

"Who's the girl?"

I cocked my head to the side, trying to work out who it was that Pedro was kissing against the door to his block of flats. When they pulled apart, I let out a small gasp, instantly recognising her.

"That's Louisa!"

Jess gasped too, and we stood there watching them both with fascination. They were taking a long time saying goodbye to one another, but eventually Louisa turned and started walking towards the car park exit. Pedro's eyes stayed on her body until she was out of sight, and then he, too, disappeared inside his flat.

"What's the deal there, then?" Jess asked as we continued our trek across the car park.

"Dunno," I replied. "Pedro said he was unsure about the situation."

"Looks like he's a bit surer now."

We laughed and were still laughing as we unlocked the door to the flat — on our third attempt. I put my finger to my lips and shushed Jess as we walked inside, just in case anyone was sleeping. Jack's door was open, and so he was our first pitstop.

"How were the cocktails?" he asked as we sat down on his bed. He was watching us with an amused expression but I wasn't sure why.

"Fine, and we saw Louisa making out with Pedro," I told him, as Jess took out her phone, probably to send a message to Alex.

Jack raised his eyebrows in interest and perched on the edge of his desk. "Oh, really? Looks like that's all sorted then."

"Our photo from earlier got lots of likes on Instagram," Jess said, shoving the phone in my face. I frowned, startled by its proximity, and leant backwards to get a better focus on whatever it was she was showing me.

"Oh, wow," I replied. "Thirty likes. We should clearly be pursuing careers as models instead, Jess."

Jack snorted at that, and I glared, unimpressed that he didn't believe I was capable of becoming a model.

"I captioned it Sophisticated Bitches," Jess told me. "Clearly thirty people believe we're sophisticated, just like we thought."

"Or thirty people believe you're bitches," Jack suggested with an amused shrug.

"Can people be sophisticated and a bitch, though?" Jess said contemplatively.

"But you can't use the word sophisticated with the word bitch," I told her.

"Why not?"

"Well, do sophisticated people even swear?"

"Bitch isn't so much a swear word these days."

"It's not a nice word, though."

"But I didn't mean it in an offensive way, obviously. Why would I call myself and my best friend a bitch?"

"Well, obviously not, but what I mean is that surely sophisticated people use sophisticated language?"

"You two are so wasted." Jack laughed, shaking his head. "Are you listening to yourselves? You're making no sense whatsoever!"

"Jack, be quiet," I instructed.

"Let's take another selfie," Jess said. "Jack, will you take it for us? I can't see the screen properly."

"Actually, Jess, by definition of a selfie, you have to take it yourself."

"Jack, you're being so annoying tonight!" I chastised him. "Lighten up a little, will you?"

He laughed again at that, proving my point completely. Jess held up the phone and took several photos of us before scrolling through them and then uploading one.

"It's like a before and after," she said.

I lifted another chip to my mouth and started chewing again. They'd long gone cold by now, but I still couldn't stop eating them.

"Can I have a chip?" Jack asked, raising his eyebrows with interest, as though he'd only just noticed them.

"No," I said.

"Why not?"

"One, because you're being a dick," I replied. "And two, because you're not drunk."

"Oh, Izzy, I'm going to have such a good time winding you up about this during the following days." He smirked. "Why don't you both go to bed?"

"That sounds like a great idea," Jess agreed, standing up.

She stumbled in her shoes and Jack quickly grabbed her arm to prevent her from falling. Deciding against the shoes, she then took another seat, in Jack's desk chair this time, and pulled off her heels before leaving the room and heading down the corridor. That was a very good idea. I fumbled with my buckles before successfully tearing the shoes from my feet. Moaning quietly in relief at the sensation, I stood up, turning to Jack before leaving his room.

"Jack, you're a dick but you're a good guy," I told him. "And I love you very much."

He smiled and nodded. "Izzy, you may be a sophisticated bitch, but I love you all the same."

As I climbed into bed with Jess ten minutes later, the effects of the alcohol took their toll. I thought I heard the flat door shut, and briefly considered it strange that someone would be coming or going at this time of night, but didn't ponder it for too long before sleep took over me and I drifted into unconsciousness.

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Thank you for reading :)xx