Chapter 39 - "Give him the benefit of the doubt."

I got home from lectures on Wednesday to see five missed video calls from Jess. Without hesitation, I called her back, not even waiting to remove my coat and shoes. She commented on this when she answered the call.

"Are you off out somewhere?" she asked me.

She had a pen in her hand, suggesting that she was partway through writing something — presumably an essay.

"No, I just got back and saw I'd missed your calls," I said.

She gave me a small, amused smile. "I could have waited an extra thirty seconds for you to get settled down."

"I was worried. Are you okay?"

She sighed. "I feel a bit better now. I basically had a massive row with Alex and needed someone to talk it through with."

Guilt at not being there for her settled in my stomach, even though there was no way I could have known.

"What about? Is everything okay?"

Jess and Alex were deliriously happy together. At school, they'd tried to play down their relationship, but it was clear to everyone how much they liked each other. I knew that long distance had been taking a bit of a toll on the relationship, but they were strong enough to survive the bumps and hurdles that it threw at them. At least, they had been thus far anyway.

"Yeah, everything's fine, I guess. It's just the usual stuff, you know. He's still unable to fully commit to meeting up."

I frowned. This had been an issue during the beginning stages of their long-distance relationship too.

"Still?" I asked. "I thought you'd worked through that?"

"Well, everything was great up to and around Christmas. We had such a nice Christmas together, and it was almost as if we'd never left each other. He was as sweet and attentive as ever..."

"But it's changed again now you're both back at uni?"

She shrugged, the sudden movement causing the video to freeze slightly and pixelate.

"I mean, it's not that bad," she conceded with a sigh. "This is the first time it's happened since. I think that's why we argued, because I got scared about it happening again."

"So what's he actually done?" I asked.

"We were supposed to be meeting up this weekend," she said. "And then he cancelled on me this afternoon."

My eyes widened. "He cancelled on you? I mean, usually he just doesn't commit to plans, right?"

She shrugged. "Well, yeah. But I get the impression he never actually bought the ticket..."

"So he was supposed to be coming to you?"

She nodded. "He now says he's too busy. It's just annoying because I work my butt off during the week to free up my weekend so I can spend time with him. Sometimes I stay up until two in the morning just to get through my work. I don't understand why he can't apply the same commitment to me."

It was obvious that Jess was really hurt over this, and I didn't blame her. Unfortunately, though, I didn't know what advice to offer. Alex was a really nice guy and he worshipped Jess, so I just couldn't understand why he'd want to cancel on her or mess her around.

"Why don't you come and see me this weekend?" I suggested. "You've freed up your time and it'd be nice to spend a few days together, don't you think?"

"You don't have plans with Nathan this weekend?"

I shook my head. "No. In fact, if you come to see me this weekend then I can tell you all about the dramas of last weekend with Louisa and Pedro."

Her lips stretched into a small smile. "Not too much drama, I hope?"

I laughed. "No. Nothing that I can't handle, anyway. If you prefer, I could come and see you?"

"Nah, my flat's boring. It'd be good to meet all the people you talk about."

"Just don't tell them how much I gossip about them!"

She grinned, and I was happy to see that she was cheering up. I'd make a real effort to ensure she had a good time this weekend.

"Everything with Alex will be fine," I assured her. "Don't worry. This could be an entirely different situation to last semester."

"That's true. I might have overreacted. I mean, there could be plenty of reasons why he couldn't make it."

"Exactly." I smiled. "Jumping to conclusions is the worst thing you can do; that's what I've learnt. Give him the benefit of the doubt. That's something else I've learnt."

"It's good that uni is teaching you something..."

I'd barely been off the call for two minutes when Jack's loud voice boomed down the corridor.

"Izzy! Don Juan is here to see you!"

Don Juan?

I stuck my head around my door. Pedro was leaning against the wall at the end of the hallway, his shoulders tight with awkwardness.

Right. Don Juan. Hilarious, Jack.

"Hey," I said.

"I hope he doesn't regularly refer to me as that," Pedro said.

"No," I assured him, beckoning him down to my room. "He doesn't. I didn't see you in Spanish today. Decided it's not testing you enough?"

He laughed and scratched his head. "Nah. To be completely honest, I forgot about it."

"Did you forget about it earlier this week too?" I perched on the edge of my desk and quirked an eyebrow.

"No, that was a genuine mistake. I slept straight through my alarm clock."

"Too many late nights?"

"Yeah...I, uh, I've been texting Louisa." He sat down on my desk chair, then wheeled it backwards to put more distance between us.

Slightly less weird than sitting on my bed, I guess.

"Oh, you have?"

"Yeah, we hit it off on Friday night," he said.

I nodded. "I noticed, but I didn't know if it was just the alcohol or not."

"That's what I thought," he replied. "And also because, well, she invited me back to hers but then nothing happened. I slept on the couch."

"When you say nothing happened...?"

"Literally, nothing. Not even a kiss. Why would she flirt with me so much, text me into the early hours, but then not want to kiss? I can't work her out."

"Maybe she just didn't want to rush."

There was no feeling behind my words, though, and that was because I was just as confused as Pedro. From what I understood, Louisa had never had any issues with one-night stands. Had she changed just as much as Nathan?

"I just wish I knew," he said. "I don't really get what's going on. Like, if this was going to be a one-night thing then fine. But now she's texting me and I'm starting to get to know her better...I don't want to end up liking her if she's not interested in dating a student."

I sat there in silence for a while; I'd been so absorbed in Pedro's antics with Louisa that I realised I hadn't actually asked him why he was here.

"Did you need my advice or something?" I asked.

He gave me a sheepish shrug. "Well, you know her better than me."

I laughed at that. "Pedro, I barely know her. She works with Nathan and that's it."

"And, also, well...I didn't know if I owed you an apology. I know you don't have feelings for me, but I also know how it must have come across. I told you I liked you, you knocked me back, and then I hit on the next available girl."

"It's fine," I assured him with a smile. "Louisa is gorgeous, and you'd be mad not to go there. Perhaps just talk to her, you know? She seems pretty level-headed, so I'm sure she's capable of discussing it maturely with you."

He nodded. "Yeah. You're right. I don't want to come across too keen, though. Maybe I'll just cool off on the texting and see whether she loses interest or whether she actually does care about talking to me."

"So, this is how mind games start..." I kept my tone light, but Pedro picked up on my disapproval.

"On the contrary. I hate mind games."

"Good. Because if she did have concerns about dating a student, that wouldn't help matters."

*

On Thursday evening — the night before Jess was due to arrive — Jack and I went out for dinner. Cheap and cheerful would have been fine with me, but Jack wanted to try a new burger place that had just opened.

"I'll treat you, Izzy." He winked as we sat down.

"Now you sound like Pedro..."

Jack laughed. "I promise I won't try to kiss you at the end of the evening."

"Hilarious..."

"I'll leave those kinds of moves to Don Juan," he added.

"You have to stop calling him that. He doesn't like it."

With our drinks ordered, I told him about how Jess was coming to visit me this weekend.

"Jess? That's the friend from school, right?" he checked, taking a sip of his beer.

"I'm glad you listen to me occasionally."

"I try not to but sometimes stuff seeps through," he replied. "So, is she hot?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes. Hot and taken."

"Shame." He sighed. "Looks like my search for the love of my life is going to continue past this weekend then."

"Unfortunately, that may be the case."

"I mean, I don't see why it's so hard. I'm not asking for much, just a hot girl who's smart with a good sense of humour."

"I agree," I said. "Theoretically, those characteristics shouldn't be too hard to come by. You're at university, so girls here are bound to be smart. She'd have to have a good sense of humour to withstand a conversation with you...so all you're really looking for is someone hot. That's probably the easiest part."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "I feel like you're maybe taking the piss but I'm not sure..."

I smiled sweetly. "Am I?"

"Ah, come on!" With a flair of dramatics, he threw his arms into the air, only just missing his pint glass. "It's difficult to find a nice girl!"

"You didn't state nice as being one of your desired characteristics," I pointed out.

"It should go without saying. And it is difficult. The other day, Hayley and Gemma had this friend around. I said hi, and she blanked me. How rude is that?"

"Who was she?"

He shrugged and picked up his menu. "Not a clue. The conversation stopped when I said hi."

"Have those two guys still been coming round?"

"Yep," Jack said, still not looking up from his menu. "I don't know what's so interesting about Hayley's room. The amount of dodgy visitors she gets...anyone would think she was running some kind of illegal operation in there."

I remembered the blasé comment that Nathan had made upon seeing the red-eye photographs of Hayley and Gemma. Before I could open my mouth, the waitress appeared and took our orders. I quickly scanned the menu while Jack made his order.

Once she'd left, Jack rested his forearms on the table and tilted his head to the side.

"So what's with all the questions?" he asked. "Do you reckon you know her or something?"

"No. It's just, well, Nathan made a comment the other day after he saw those photos Hayley posted on Facebook."

Jack pulled a face. "Eurgh, those photos. They couldn't have looked more like a pair of idiots if they'd tried."

I lowered my voice. "I pointed out how they had red eye in the all the photos and Nathan casually mentioned that drugs can do that to you."

"Drugs?" Jack frowned, having the tact to lower his voice too. "What kind of drugs?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. I didn't ask. He said it a very offhanded way, though, like it was just a suggestion rather than a serious accusation."

Jack sighed. "For fuck's sake...that's all we need, her running some kind of drug den..."

"I mean, it might not be," I said quickly. "But you can't deny that she's got involved with some new people recently."

"Yeah, now you mention it, the rude girl did look like a bit of a druggie."

I could almost see the cogs spinning inside Jack's head as he considered this possible new revelation, and suddenly I panicked, worrying that I might be wrong and therefore inaccurately accusing Hayley of partaking in illegal activities.

"Like I said, it might not be that," I reminded him.

"No worries, we'll just ask her."

"What?" I gasped in horror.

"Fine, I'll just ask her," he amended. "There's no need to look so worried. It's Hayley. You know what she's like. Knowing her, she'll probably be proud and boast about being on drugs."

That was probably true. Hayley loved proving how she was careless, reckless and up for anything; that, apparently, was what made her such an exciting person, compared to a boring one, like me.

By the time our food arrived, we'd moved onto more publicly appropriate conversations and Jack was asking if I'd made any plans with Jess for the weekend. He was maybe trying to worm his way into spending time with us, which didn't necessarily bother me; Jess would get on well with him.

Despite the dinner conversation being 90% Jack talking, he still managed to finish before me, clearing his plate and then proceeding to help himself to my chips.

"Put your purse away, love; this one's on me," Jack said in a rough cockney accent when the bill arrived.

"Jack," I scowled, opening my purse. "We're splitting this."

"Izzy, seriously, don't worry about it," Jack said. "I like to be able to look after you when Nathan's not here, and I'm sure he'll be happy that I'm treating you when he's not able to."

I sighed, but knew better than to push the argument; instead, I'd find some way of indirectly paying Jack back, or at least a way of treating him to say thank you.

"Thank you," I said. "I appreciate it."

"You're welcome." He smiled. "I'm just trying to be a good friend."

"You're the best."

And I meant it.

*

An hour later, we were back at the flat. To our surprise, female laughter rang out from within the kitchen. Jack looked at me and slowly put his finger to his lips, signalling for us to keep quiet as we crept down the hall and towards the kitchen door.

Hayley was in there, along with one of the new guys. She was giggling away as he murmured something unintelligible to her. Although we couldn't hear what he was saying, the whole situation looked flirty enough. He was sitting on the edge of the table with his hands on Hayley's waist as she stood between his legs, leaning towards him.

Rather than retreating to his room where we could discuss the situation, Jack actually pushed open the kitchen door and strolled in.

"Oh, Hayley," he said. "Sorry, didn't realise you were in here. Not interrupting, am I?"

Without acknowledging Jack, the guy released his hands from Hayley's waist and stood up.

"I'll be in your room, Hayley," he mumbled, before leaving the kitchen.

He brushed past me without as much as a glance in my direction before sauntering down the corridor and knocking lightly on Hayley's door. I faintly heard the lock click before he pushed against the heavy wood and let himself into the bedroom.

"Where've you two been?" Hayley asked, glancing between Jack and me. "Hot date?"

"Yeah, Izzy and I are fucking now. Speaking of fucking...who's the dude?" he asked, jerking his head in the direction of Hayley's room.

Hayley simply folded her arms and smirked. "Why? Jealous?"

Jack snorted. "Hardly. He just spends a lot of time in our flat and so I think I have a right to know why."

"He's just a friend," Hayley said. "And we spend most of the time in my room, which means it doesn't really affect you."

"Well, we have noticed," Jack said dryly. "You barely leave your room these days. And you called Izzy the antisocial one."

Hayley laughed at that. "Jack, we're going out most nights. That's hardly antisocial. Just because we don't want to mix with the rest of the losers in this flat..."

"Are you on drugs?" he asked her bluntly.

She smirked again at that. "Why? Want some?"

"You are?" he asked in outrage. "For fuck's sake, Hayley! That could implicate the whole flat, you know."

"Surprised you found out, to be honest. We were trying to keep it low key. Maybe I don't give you enough credit."

"Well it's pretty obvious when you look at the people you've been spending time around."

"Oh, how judgmental." She rolled her eyes, heading for the door. "Anyway, he does good rates so if you want some then let me know."

"Some what? What is it?"

"It's only MDMA," she replied casually, pausing in the doorway, centimetres away from me. A strong scent of floral perfume emanated from her body. "It's not a big deal. It's hardly like we're shooting heroin. It's recreational."

"Oh, recreational? Well, why didn't you say so?" His voice dripped with sarcasm. "That makes it fine, then."

Hayley tutted. "Grow a pair, Jack."

"I always knew you were a fucking mess," Jack said, shaking his head. "But I never thought you'd actually get involved with drugs."

She planted her hands on her hips. "For fuck's sake, Jack. It's MDMA. Everyone uses it. You're the weird ones for not doing it. Maybe you should try lightening up a bit and having some fun. University is about experiences, not studying."

Before Jack could reply, she'd strutted off to her room, pushing open the door and disappearing inside. Seconds later, the lock clicked.

Jack and I stood there looking at each other. Neither of us knew what to say, or what to think. Was Hayley right? Were more people doing drugs than we realised? Was she exaggerating? Had I struck lucky by pursuing a friendship with someone who just happened not to be involved with drugs?

Either way, I was lucky to have a level-minded friend like Jack. It was alright to think that people who do drugs are stupid, but it was always better to have someone of the same opinion by your side. If I hadn't had Jack with his strong moral views, then maybe I'd have believed Hayley. Maybe I'd have thought that I really was the weird one for not doing drugs. That was something I definitely didn't ever want to believe.

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