Chapter 37 - "The first round is on me."

*After our first Spanish lesson of the week, Pedro hesitantly approached me.

"Hey..." he said. "Look, I completely understand if you don't want to talk to me—"

"Can we, erm, discuss this elsewhere?" I requested, glancing around the room and seeing all the people who could potentially overhear.

During my break-up with Matt, I'd been the centre of a lot of gossip, and I really didn't want to be in that position again. If people heard that Pedro had kissed me, then we'd become the talk of the Spanish department for certain.

"Sure," he agreed, the tension leaving his shoulders as we joined the mass of people filing towards the exit. "Do you want to grab coffee? And I don't mean that in a date way...I just meant, you know, we could go and buy some coffee...I could still pay though because I really don't—"

"Will you please stop babbling?" I muttered under my breath. "You're making this ten times more awkward than it needs to be."

We finally made it out of the seminar room and headed towards the campus bar. Pedro oozed awkwardness, to the extent where I almost began to feel sorry for him. Then I remembered what he'd said to me, and how we'd been talking about Nathan just before he attempted to kiss me. That was a bad move on his part regardless of any feelings involved.

As we sat down at an empty table, Pedro was fidgeting like crazy and I knew I had to let him speak and get everything off his chest. This wasn't being put on and it made me realise that Pedro was obviously feeling awful about what had happened and maybe his intentions weren't quite so callous after all.

"Okay, so I sort of prepared a speech—well, not really a speech, but I prepared what I wanted to say to you so I can try to explain my actions and... Look, I know it's not going to excuse my behaviour this weekend, but I at least want you to think less badly of me than you probably do right now."

"Okay," I said quietly, picking up the drinks menu just so that I had something to play with. I'd fully intended on having a mature conversation with him, but Pedro was being so awkward that it was starting to make me feel awkward too.

"Okay," he said, clearing his throat and straightening in his chair. "Firstly, I want to apologize again. I know that doesn't take back what I did, but I honestly regret it so much. I knew you'd got a boyfriend, and so it was disrespectful to you, not to mention very tactless considering we'd only been discussing said boyfriend an hour before." 

"Nathan," I said quietly, not looking up from the drinks menu. "He's called Nathan." 

Pedro nodded. "Nathan," he repeated. "I also know I offended you when I made the comment about some girls in relationships wanting someone to keep them occupied when they're away from their boyfriend. In hindsight, that was such a stupid thing to say, because I know you're not one of those girls and that's part of the reason I like you so much."

He cut himself off, and I glanced up to see the alarm flitting across his face. One trembling hand scraped through his hair. 

"Shit," he mumbled. "That bit was meant to come later on. Fuck, I've screwed this up now." 

I sighed, putting down the menu and pushing it away from me. "Okay, Pedro. I can tell you feel bad about this, and I don't want to lose your friendship. But if you can't be just friends with me then we need to seriously consider where we're going to go from here. So, cards on the table. Be honest with me."

He picked up the menu I'd just released, twisting it around in his fingers but not properly looking at it. It was a delaying tactic, a way to keep himself occupied to ease the awkwardness that we were clearly both experiencing.

"Cards on the table," he said eventually, glancing up at me. "I like you. I didn't kiss you because I wanted a fling or friends with benefits...I kissed you because I've had feelings for you for a while now. I assumed it was obvious and I thought you knew. I've never really been friends with a girl who I've connected with as well as I do with you. We have such a good time together and I thought there was maybe a bit of chemistry. Obviously I completely misread that and it's entirely my fault for assuming you felt the same." 

I nodded, appreciating his honesty and slightly consoled that the kiss was more out of feelings rather than an opportunistic ploy to make things physical between us.

"I never wanted to compromise you, Izzy," he said quietly. "I promise. And that's why I feel so awful. I know you probably think badly of me now and I don't blame you at all. It was a selfish move. I knew about your boyfriend — Nathan — and yet I still tried to kiss you. It was so unfair on you and I'll completely understand if you can't forgive me for it."

Pedro finally stopped talking and I sat quietly for a few moments. Just as I was about to open my mouth to speak, the waiter appeared and asked what we'd like to drink. I ordered a cappuccino and Pedro quickly mumbled that he wanted an Americano. When we were alone again, I spoke up.

"I value you as a friend, Pedro," I told him. "And I do appreciate your honesty. I was quite hurt by what happened, but mainly because you'd seemed to assume that I'd be okay cheating on my boyfriend. I thought you knew me better than that."

"I do." He groaned, putting his head in his hands. "It was so stupid."

"I was angry to begin with," I admitted. "But then I began to think about what effect this was going to have on us, and I was sad at the thought of losing our friendship. That's why we need to be frank with each other. If you can't handle just being friends, then maybe it's better we don't hang out anymore." 

"I can handle it," he said quickly, his eyes widening. "Honestly, I promise. I swear I'll never try anything like that again. Now I know you don't feel the same, I can move on and we can just be friends. It won't be weird. I promise."

I nodded. "Okay, that's fine then. We can move on and never mention it again."

"That sounds great," he said, and he smiled for the first time. "Although obviously I'll understand if my invitation to the drinks this Friday is rescinded."

"It's not rescinded. But on the same note, if you'll find it too weird, then I'll understand."

He shook his head. "No. I want to come. I want to prove I can just be your friend."

I smiled at that, because it was exactly what Nathan had predicted. As well as that, though, it proved that Pedro was more serious about our friendship than about any potential romance between us.

"Does he, erm, does Nathan know about, you know...about what happened?"

"Yeah, I told him straightaway." 

Pedro visibly swallowed, looking nervous all of a sudden. "Is he mad? He's not going to beat me up or anything is he?" 

I laughed. "No. Don't worry. He's not mad. He was concerned more than anything; he knew how much I valued our friendship." 

Seeming happier with that, Pedro relaxed again and from that moment on, we moved forwards and didn't mention the kiss again. Now that the conversation was out of the way, things between us gradually reverted to normal. Like Jack, Pedro was able to move on from an awkward situation, and it gave me hope that we could continue to have a proper friendship in the future.

 *

As Friday evening rolled around, anxiety rattled through me. Tonight was supposed to be about settling any residing insecurities about our relationship, and yet now I felt like there might be more than ever before. Nathan had taken the news about Pedro kissing me extremely well, but would it still be awkward?

It would be ironic if the evening where we were supposed to be proving that neither of us had anything to worry about turned into an evening where fresh worries blossomed through the awkwardness of last weekend's events.

Pedro and I had arranged to meet at the bus stop to travel to the bar together. Nathan and Louisa were going straight from work after grabbing something to eat. With us both turning up with our respective friends, it almost made the evening seem like some kind of twisted double date.

"I'm a little bit nervous," Pedro admitted quietly on the walk up to the bar.

"Don't be," I told him. "Just be yourself. There's no need to be nervous."

I told him that, but it was to calm my own nerves more than anything. Pedro was a great guy, when he wasn't trying to kiss me of course, and Nathan would realise that if the atmosphere was relaxed enough and everybody was getting along.

When we arrived at the bar, Nathan and Louisa were already there, sitting at a table in the centre of the room. As per usual, Louisa looked great with her straight blonde hair cascading over her shoulders and curling slightly at the ends. I was envious; there was nothing wrong with my hair, but the best I could ever do was straightening it to make it that tiny bit neater, which was exactly what I'd done tonight.

"Hey!" She beamed upon seeing Pedro and me and stood up to greet us both. After a quick kiss on my cheek, she held out her hand to Pedro, introducing herself.

I could tell instantly that he was blown away by her, and I didn't blame him. She looked extra beautiful tonight with high-waisted leather trousers, huge wedges and a loose strappy top. It was difficult to imagine a time when she hadn't always looked this good.  

As Louisa and Pedro exchanged pleasantries, I scuttled around the table to greet Nathan. He still had the menu between his fingers, but his eyes were watching Pedro.  

"Hey." I placed my hand on his shoulder to divert his attention back to me.

Straightaway, his eyes flickered onto me and he smiled easily, winding an arm around my waist to pull me closer.

"You look beautiful. Have you straightened your hair? It looks great."

My mouth twisted into an involuntary smile; Nathan had a habit of noticing the small things and somehow always managed to make my insecurities disappear. I really hoped I could do the same for him tonight. Although I'd noticed him watching Pedro as we'd walked in, his face had remained neutral, giving nothing away. It was impossible to tell how he was feeling.

"I like this shirt," I said, fingering the collar of it. "I can still remember that you wore it to that house party when you first started at my school."

"You didn't compliment it back then." His lips quirked, his hand rubbing my back. Every now and then, the gesture would cause my top to ride up, and I'd feel the warmth of his fingertips on the bareness of my lower back.

"Well, trust me, I noticed it," I assured him.

"I hope you realise that these little admissions bring me a lot of satisfaction." His smile widened as his hand coasted down to slide into my back pocket. 

"Hey!" Louisa called across to us. "There's plenty of time for that later! I'm thirsty!" 

"You just drank a whole bottle of water," Nathan replied, removing his hand from my pocket and picking up the menu again.

I took a seat next to Pedro on the other side of the table, and that's when I realised I hadn't introduced them both. I squirmed in my seat, wondering if I'd added fuel to any potential awkwardness by not getting the introduction out of the way as soon as possible.

"Not that kind of thirsty." She sighed, taking a seat next to him and snatching the menu from his hands. "Thirsty for alcohol. What's everyone fancy?" 

"I'll drink anything," Pedro said, and I was thankful that he was speaking up and being friendly rather than sitting in uncomfortable silence.

Nathan's eyes flickered over him again, but he said nothing. Was he irritated? Curious? Indifferent?

"Wine?" Louisa suggested. "Red or white? I quite fancy a Barolo right now actually..." She pursed her lips in contemplation as her smoky eyes scanned the menu.

"Barolo?" Nathan let out a short laugh. "Are you paying, then?"

"I'm happy to contribute," Pedro quickly said to Nathan. "I mean, I could get the first round, and then you could get the second round," he added. 

"Don't worry about," Nathan replied, addressing him directly for the first time. "Let the ones who have full-time jobs pay." 

I frowned, unsure of whether Nathan was belittling Pedro or not. He hadn't said it in a malicious way, but it was a strange comment nonetheless. I almost mentioned how Pedro had recently had a pay rise and could therefore quite easily afford it, but then decided that defending Pedro might not be the best idea given the circumstances.  

"And besides," Nathan continued. "You paid for my girlfriend's drinks last weekend. I think it's my turn now." 

I swallowed but tried to remain relaxed. If Pedro was offended or put-out, then he didn't let it show. Maybe it was a good choice not to mention Pedro's pay rise, since that was the excuse he'd used to buy me those drinks last weekend.

"No problem, man," he replied casually, with a quick smile. "But, yes, wine is fine with me."

"So you're thinking red then?" Nathan asked Louisa, and I fought back a sigh of relief, thankful that the exchange between Pedro and Nathan was over.

"As long as that's okay with everyone else. I know white is easier to drink without food, but this Barolo is a good one."

"Are you alright with red, Bella?" Nathan checked with me.

He knew I was sometimes a little careful when it came to drinking, but right now I just wanted alcohol — any form of alcohol.

"Absolutely," I said.  

"What about you, Pedro?" Nathan asked. "I know red is quite a sophisticated taste so not everyone enjoys it." 

Louisa and I exchanged a glance; this time Nathan's comment was a little less subtle. Pedro, credit to him, still didn't rise to the bait. Instead, he shrugged and made a joke out of it.

"I'm from Spain. I grew up surrounded by vineyards. I think my parents would have disowned me if I'd turned down a Rioja."

"That's very true," Louisa said. "In fact, out of everyone at this table, you're probably the most qualified to drink red wine."

"I think Barolo is a great choice." Pedro smiled.

"Your English accent is perfect, by the way," Nathan told Pedro, reaching into his pocket to pull out his wallet. "If Bella hadn't talked about you before, then I'd have had no idea you were Spanish."

"My mum is English," he said as an explanation. "But I grew up in Spain. Izzy tells me you've lived in Italy, so I guess we've both lived on the continent." 

"Yeah, I suppose that's something else we've got in common. You know, aside from the fact we've both kissed my girlfriend," he added casually, pulling out two notes from his wallet. 

My heart skipped a beat. He'd done it. He'd brought it up, despite me thinking he was okay with it. Why had I genuinely believed it wouldn't bother him? Of course it would bother him.

Pedro had obviously realised that Nathan wasn't going to be won over and stared down at the table in a mixture of defeat and shame, obviously with no intention of replying.  

"Hey, Izzy?" Louisa chirped lightly, trying to brighten the dark atmosphere. "How about you and I go and get that bottle?" 

She was clearly trying to give the boys some alone time to get the testosterone out of their systems. As much as I wanted to stay and witness whatever else Nathan was going to say to Pedro, I knew that he needed to deal with this alone. If I was there, he might carry on with the subtle comments, whereas now he could just let it all out and hopefully move on.

"Here," Nathan said, slamming the two twenty-pound notes down in front of Louisa. "The first round is on me."  

As Louisa and I headed over to the bar, I glanced over my shoulder to see Nathan leaning across the table to speak closely with Pedro.  

"You alright?" Louisa asked me.

"Yeah," I sighed. "I should have guessed something like this would happen."

"Nathan's a really great guy," Louisa said. "And whilst he's a very reasonable guy, he's still a guy who's crazy about you. He was never gonna be okay with Pedro trying to kiss you."

"He told you about it?"

"He came into work pretty pissed off one morning, and when I asked what was up, he mentioned that your friend had tried it on with you."

"I just don't know why he didn't tell me he was annoyed," I said. "He seemed fine with it. If anything, he seemed more worried about how I was feeling."

"That's because he didn't want to worry you," Louisa replied. "Or cause you anxiety about this evening. I don't think he was actually intending to mention anything tonight, but perhaps when he just saw Pedro he was wracked with insecurities. I mean, he's a good-looking guy."

"What can I get you ladies?" the bartender asked, drying off his hands on a tea towel.

"A bottle of your Barolo, please," Louisa replied, smiling sweetly and sliding the twenties across the bar. "With four glasses."

"Great choice." The man smiled back. "Would you like to taste it first?"

"No, it's fine. As long as you tell me it's not corked, I'll trust you."

"How long do you think the boys need?" I asked Louisa as the bartender got to work extracting the cork from the bottle.

She glanced back over at them. This time it was Pedro who was talking animatedly, using his hands to gesticulate.

"Not too long, I imagine," she replied. "They're boys, after all."

The bartender placed the four glasses neatly on the counter in front of us and then poured a small amount of wine into each glass. After thanking him, Louisa picked up two of the glasses and handed one to me.

"Cheers," she said, knocking the top of her glass lightly against my own before leaning a hip against the bar and taking a long sip.

Considering I felt so insecure about Louisa's past with Nathan, whenever I actually interacted with her, that insecurity seemed misplaced. She came across as a decent enough person and made a lot of effort to get to know me and the things I was interested in. Her mannerisms were always relaxed, as if she had nothing to hide, and her attitude overall was down-to-earth and friendly. More than anything, though, she demonstrated confidence and a general easiness.

"Are you two going to drink all that wine yourselves?" Nathan asked, appearing at the bar and interrupting our conversation about jewellery.

"We just wanted to give you some space," Louisa replied. "Those vibes of possessiveness were creating quite the force field."

"Thank you, Louisa," Nathan said dryly, reaching between us to pick up one of the remaining glasses. "How about you take everything over to the table and then Isobel and I will join you soon?"

"Right away, boss." She saluted him, then somehow managed to gather together two glasses and the bottle, without any noticeable risk of spillage.

Nathan took her place at the bar and immediately had a sip of his wine, raising his eyebrows in approval.

"She's right; it is nice."

I smiled, happy that he was looking more at ease and not as brooding. "She's obviously quite the wine connoisseur."

"Evidently," he agreed, leaning against the bar counter, balancing his wine glass between his fingertips.

Silence fell between us as we looked at each other, wondering who was going to be the first to speak. Nathan raised his eyebrows at me and I took the plunge and spoke up.

"I'm really sorry, Nathan. I should have known you wouldn't be okay with Pedro kissing me."

He sighed. "To be fair, Bella, I was okay with it to begin with. It was only after it had sunk in that it began to play on my mind. I started to imagine it, and even though I knew you didn't kiss him back, I was torturing myself with visions of the two of you kissing." 

I hung my head, guilt consuming me even though I hadn't technically done anything wrong. Maybe I really should have been more frank with Pedro from the beginning; perhaps that would have made this whole mess avoidable.

Gently, Nathan placed two fingers under my chin and tilted my head back up so our eyes connected again.

"It's not your fault," he assured me quietly, raising his eyebrows as he stared deeply into my eyes to emphasise how serious he was. "I promise. You didn't kiss him back and I know you'd never have kissed him back."

"I guess I just feel bad because, out of the two of us, you're the one who shouldn't have a reason to feel insecure."

"What do you mean?"

"Just that, you know, you and Louisa have a past."

Nathan's frown deepened. "But you're at university. You're surrounded by horny boys, like Pedro, who think it's completely normal to cheat."

"But I'd never do that," I said quietly, scared that I was now adding fuel to the fire. "I didn't mean it in that way, honestly. I just meant that, in my mind, Louisa would have more reason to kiss you than Pedro would have to kiss me."

"No, Isobel," Nathan snapped. "She wouldn't. I don't know how many times you have to meet Louisa to realise that she's got no intention of hitting on me. You, on the other hand, are an extremely attractive girl and an extremely loveable girl. Not only are the jerks who want action going to hit on you, but the ones who fall for your personality are going to do it too! Like Pedro!" 

"You think I don't feel the same about you?" I snapped back, my eyes narrowing. "You're handsome, you're successful, you've got a heart of gold...and Louisa knows all that! She's experienced all that in the past. Who's to say she won't want it back?" 

"Because some people just aren't meant to be together," he said flatly. "Some people are bad for each other. Some relationships end to make way for other, better relationships. I realise that Matt has made you insecure, but you need to realise that he's the past now. Louisa was a big part of my life, and a significant part of my life, but I never loved her. You're the best thing to happen to me and there's no way in Hell I would ever do anything to risk losing you. Do you understand that?"

I swallowed and nodded. "Likewise."

He sighed and placed his wine glass down on the counter, opening his arms for me. I stepped into them and rested my head against his chest.

"I didn't like who I was back then," he said quietly, nuzzling his face into my hair. "Even if I didn't have you, I still wouldn't go back to Louisa. It would be self-destructive."

I nodded into his chest, inhaling his scent. If I wasn't mistaken, it was the same aftershave he'd been wearing for the house party too... Lots of trips down memory lane tonight...

"We're going to spend the rest of our lives together, Isobel," he told me, moulding his hands around my waist to pull me back to look at him. "And nobody is going to get in our way, okay?" 

I smiled and nodded. "Okay." 

When we went to re-join the table, Louisa had taken my spot next to Pedro, allowing Nathan and me to sit side by side. It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't actually asked Nathan what had been said between him and Pedro, but maybe it was best I didn't know anyway.

"Who wants a top up?" Louisa sang cheerfully, proceeding to pour more wine into everyone's glasses without waiting for a reply.

Whatever had been said between Nathan and Pedro had obviously done the trick, because the atmosphere was much better, improving with every glass of wine. Nathan was being particularly affectionate, but somehow this didn't feel like it was for Pedro's benefit. If he wasn't holding my hand on the table, then his arm was around my waist. If he wasn't tucking my hair behind my ear, then he was readjusting the position of the ring on my finger.

Louisa was the life and soul of the evening; she was laughing and joking with everyone, steering the conversation in different directions whilst topping up wine glasses whenever the quantity of wine started to fall dangerously low. Without her there, things might not have progressed so smoothly, but her knack of involving everyone in the conversation and taking the lead meant that the issues between Pedro and Nathan took a backseat.

It was only when we went to the toilet, however, that another dimension to Louisa's charismatic approach emerged.

"He's quite hot, isn't he?" she said, as she leaned in towards the bathroom mirror to reapply her bright red lipstick.

"Pedro?" I checked, doing my own bit of beauty maintenance by attempting to re-establish the neat hairstyle that I'd been sporting earlier on the evening.

"Yeah," she murmured, rubbing her lips together and then pouting in the reflection to check the red shade was distributed evenly. "How old is he?"

My mind was slightly hazy due to the amount of wine I'd drunk but I could guess what she was getting at.

"My age," I told her.

She straightened up and screwed the lid back onto the lipstick. "Hm. I don't usually go for younger guys, but I might make an exception."

Louisa and Pedro? That might be the answer to both our insecurities, but I just couldn't see it somehow.

We returned to the table to see Nathan emptying the last dregs of the third wine bottle into Pedro's glass.

"I don't understand why girls always take so long in the toilet," Pedro commented. "What do you do in there?"

"Oh, all kinds," Louisa said, regaining possession of her own glass. "But guys are never to find out."

"If I treat you to a bite to eat after this, then will you tell me?" Pedro's eyes sparkled.

Maybe I'd been so preoccupied with Nathan this evening that I'd completely missed the flirtatious interactions between Pedro and Louisa.

"I'll take you up on the offer of food," she said as a compromise. "After all, I need to sober up else I'll worry about you taking advantage when you walk me back to my flat."

"Well, Bella and I are going to head off, so we'll let you two carry on with whatever this is turning into," Nathan announced, standing up.

"Don't sound so disapproving." Louisa rolled her eyes.  

Sighing, Nathan pulled on his jacket, shrugging himself into it. "Louisa, the only thing I'll disapprove of is if you turn up to work late on Monday morning. Other than that, I couldn't give a fuck what you do in the meantime." 

Even I flinched at his forceful words. Louisa's eyes flickered with an emotion that could have been hurt, but it disappeared as quickly as it had come.

"Come on," I murmured, tugging at his arm.

Everyone had had quite a bit to drink, and I didn't want any arguments to emerge at the last moment. Nathan had managed to be civil enough to Pedro for the remainder of the evening. Now was not the time for that to change.

"Thanks for inviting me," Pedro said to Nathan, holding out his hand.

Nathan stared at Pedro's hand for an excruciating couple of seconds, before reaching to shake it firmly.

"No problem," he said.

As we left the bar, I wasn't sure what to say. His body language was relaxed enough as we headed down the street hand in hand, but the comment he'd made to Louisa couldn't be ignored.

"Are you drunk?" I asked him, more out of interest than as an accusation.

"Yeah, a bit, I think," he replied, glancing down at me. "Are you?"

I nodded. "I was just quite surprised at what you said to Louisa. I assumed it was just the alcohol talking."

He sighed. "I know. I'll apologise to her tomorrow. I think everything just got to me and I ended up snapping. But her and Pedro, huh? There's a match made in heaven..." 

Something about Pedro and Louisa hooking up made me feel uneasy, but I couldn't work out why. An instant connection seemed like too much of a coincidence given the circumstances that had led to us all meeting up tonight. So one of their interests could be potentially misplaced, but whose?

--

Thank you for reading :)xx