Chapter 23 - "I'm so sorry."

My stomach growled loudly. Sighing to myself, I forced my eyes to refocus on my laptop screen; I'd been staring at the words for so long that my mind had gradually wandered off and the words had all become blurred. The word count still read 638.

I'd applied my usual tactic of motivation – refusing to let myself have lunch until I'd reached my target count. Unfortunately, I was starving and I still had 162 words to write. It was nothing really. I could bang out 162 words in less than five minutes if it was in English. However, the damn thing was in Spanish.

Under normal circumstances, I'd accept that I was too hungry to concentrate properly, but I had a particular reason for wanting to get this essay done. Tomorrow I was going to see Nathan. I was going to spend the whole weekend with him, and I wanted to be able to relax and not worry about handing this essay in. I aimed to write 1000 of the 1500 words by tomorrow, and then I could do the remaining 500 words at the beginning of next week, hopefully finishing it in plenty of time before Thursday's deadline.

A soft knock at the door was almost a welcome sound, despite not needing the distraction.

"Yeah?" I called, quickly hitting Save.

Jack pushed open the door and stuck his head around it. Seeing I wasn't too preoccupied, he slid inside and let the door swing shut behind him.

"Hey, how you getting on?" he asked.

"Six hundred and thirty-eight words," I replied. "I've hit a wall."

"Well you've got your ten per cent leeway," he reminded me. "And your conclusion should be easy enough to write...so if you look at it that way, then technically you've probably only got to come up with about...four or five hundred more words...just a few more ideas really, or even just a couple if you develop them well enough."

"Jack, your way of approaching an academic essay is simply inspiring," I said dryly.

"Be sceptical all you like but when you think of it my way then essays don't seem half as daunting."

"Sometimes I wish my mind functioned in the same way as yours."

"I get that a lot," he said. "Anyway, Shaun, Phil and I are going to Maccy D's. Do you want me to pick you something up? I can't imagine you feel like cooking when your head is focused on this essay."

McDonald's had never sounded so appealing. "Yes please," I gushed. "That'd be great."

"Cool. What do you want?"

"Chicken Mayo, please. And fries."

"What size fries?"

"Medium. Actually, no, large."

"Chicken Mayo and large fries," he repeated. "Sorted."

"Do you want money for it now?" I asked, reaching for my purse.

"No worries, we can sort it out when I get back. Failing that, I'm sure you can repay me in sexual favours."

I rolled my eyes. "Providing you get my order right."

"If a blow job is involved, then there's no chance I'll be messing up your order."

"Dream on," I murmured, turning my eyes back to the screen.

"No need to play hard to get, Izzy. I'd never ask you for a blow job. I could never do that to Nathan."

I refused to rise to the teasing. Now wasn't the time to engage in this sort of banter. I had essays to write.

"Okay," I said simply, instead.

"Right, Chicken Mayo and large fries. No drink?"

"No. I don't want any of that meal business."

"Ain't nobody got time for a free drink."

I sighed. "If I have the drink then I have to downgrade on my fries. And I want large fries."

"Such a McDonald's pro," he sighed. "Alright, Izzy. You can trust me. I'll deliver on this one."

"It's not difficult. Just the Chicken Mayo and then the large fries. No meal. No drink. The two items, separately."

Jack laughed and ruffled my hair. "Relax, Izzy. It'll be fine. You can trust me."

I shot a smile in his direction as he left. "Thanks, Jack. Appreciate it."

Just as he was leaving my room, he turned around in the doorway. "Oh, and if you get enough done today, do you fancy coming down to the bar with us tonight? Man City are playing Man U."

"Sure," I replied. "Who doesn't love a good derby?"

Jack winked again and then left. Watching the football would be a good way to wind down after this awful essay. Then it clicked. Sport. Football teams. Integration. Perfect!

Whilst the boys walked to McDonald's, I wrote a decent three-hundred-word paragraph about how sport brings people together, and how local football teams, especially Premier League ones, tend to have players from all different backgrounds, races and countries. That paragraph linked nicely to my one about racism and before I knew it, I'd hit the one thousand mark.

I was propping my door open just as Jack and the boys arrived back with the food. The smell of fries made my stomach rumble again. In my writing flow, I'd forgotten just how hungry I was.

"How did you get on?" Jack asked me.

"Got to one thousand," I said proudly.

He grinned. "Awesome! Do you want to carry on or...?"

"No, it's fine. I'll have a break and eat with you guys in the kitchen."

We all took a seat around the table whilst Jack unloaded the food from the brown paper bag and distributed it amongst the group.

"And for Izzy, a Chicken Mayo and large fries. No medium fries, no unnecessary meal deal drink."

I smiled. "Thanks, buddy."

"Anything for you, my dear. I also got you this." And he placed a McFlurry down in front of me.

"Was that free?" I asked, confused.

Jack shrugged, which meant no. "You've been working hard. I thought you'd like a treat."

Touched, I reached to place my hand briefly on his. "Thank you, Jack. That's sweet."

"Whipped," Phil coughed, under his breath.

Jack launched the screwed up paper bag at Phil's head in retaliation. "Shut up, Man. Just 'cause I know how to treat a girl right."

"Debatable." Phil smirked. "At least I know how to show them a good time."

"Yeah you showed her such a good time that she now believes the two of you are in a relationship," Jack shot back, before shoving five fries into his mouth all at once. I tentatively opened up my Chicken Mayo, refusing to get involved in the conversation.

"We talked about that," Phil replied. "It's all cleared up..."

Jack and Shaun both laughed at that.

"Sorry," Shaun laughed. "But even I can't let that one go. You went over there to talk about it. You ended up having sex. You're so weak..."

"You can't honestly tell me that either of you two wouldn't do the same," Phil said, looking between Jack and Shaun. "A hot girl, offering sex, for pretty much nothing."

Jack turned to me. "Izzy, sorry you have to witness such a crude conversation."

"It's fine," I said. "Do you think I've never heard boys talk about this stuff before?"

"Yeah, leave her be, she's one of the lads," Phil said, shooting me a playful wink.

For some reason, that comment warmed me. Maybe it was like a form of acceptance, especially after Hayley's harsh rejection of our 'friendship' last weekend.

Having a chilled out lunch with the boys was exactly what I needed. Conversation was easy, there was no bitching and the humour was light. They successfully distracted me from my essay, giving me a well-earned break.

I was in such a good mood afterwards, that I happily returned to my essay, despite having already reached my target for not just the day, but the week. There was something satisfying about finishing an essay, especially when you finished it a week ahead of the deadline; it was like a weight off your shoulders, one less thing to think about. And this weekend, I didn't want to think about anything other than Nathan.

*

Being the romantic girlfriend that I was – or rather, being the romantic girlfriend that I was trying to be – I'd decided that I'd surprise Nathan at work. He was working late, but I'd insisted that I didn't mind catching a cab over to his in the evening rather than having to wait until Saturday morning.

That was our plan. However, I was going to turn up at his work, surprise him with a coffee, and then wait patiently in his office, or in the café, or in the reception – wherever was appropriate for a non-employee to wait – until he'd finished.

I'd only been to Nathan's work once before and luckily I managed to remember exactly how to get there. A rotating glass door was at the front of the building, and I tentatively stepped into it, my heart thudding as I anticipated any security men who were likely to pounce on me the second I stepped into the reception.

But nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. My footsteps echoed as I walked across the marble floor to reach the reception desk. There were two girls on reception, neither of whom acknowledged me until I cleared my throat.

"Can I help you?" the brunette one asked, pushing her glasses up onto the top of her head.

"Yeah, I'm here to see Nathan Hunt," I told her.

If I spoke with confidence then I'd look less like an imposter, and more like a person who actually had a right to be here.

"Do you have an appointment?" she asked me, in a monotone voice. This was obviously a routine question, since I knew Nathan didn't have regular 'appointments'.

"I'm his girlfriend."

The other receptionist, a redhead, snapped her head up to look at me. Even the brunette one was looking at me as if she thought I was lying. Maybe I should have said I had an appointment after all...

"Really?" she asked slowly.

"Yes."

"What's your name?" she asked me with a sigh. "I'll ring up to his assistant."

"Isobel Smith."

There may be hope after all. Louisa clearly knew my name so hopefully she'd confirm I was his girlfriend. Regardless, I stood there waiting, anxiously twisting the lid on the coffee I'd bought for Nathan.

"Hey, it's Cammie from reception," the brunette sang down the phone. "I have someone here claiming to be Nathan's girlfriend..." She paused whilst Louisa said something back. "Yeah, Smith...okay, then, no worries..." She put the phone down and lifted her head to look at me. "You're free to go up. Eighth floor. His assistant will meet you there. She's called Louisa."

"I know," I told her. "But thanks."

I was offended more than anything as I stepped into the lift and jabbed the number eight. Didn't I look worthy of being Nathan's girlfriend? Did he get a lot of girls turning up here claiming to be his girlfriend? I loosened my grip on his Americano when I realised I was holding it too tightly.

The lift bobbed to a gentle halt and then the doors slid open. That was when I had my first sight of Louisa. Somehow I knew it was her straight away.

Poker straight, shoulder-length blonde hair, not a lock out of place, no frizz in sight. Immaculate make-up, with vampire red lips. A black dress, that looked as though it had been made for her, hugging every curve, showing off a decent amount of cleavage, and yet not looking slutty in the slightest.

On her feet she wore stilettos that made me dizzy just to look at; I couldn't last three hours in shoes like that in a nightclub, and yet she was wearing them for ten hours or more a day.

"You must be Isobel." She beamed, stepping forward and holding out a manicured hand for me to shake.

I vaguely acknowledged that her nail varnish matched her lipstick tone for tone, before I pulled myself together and shook her hand, hoping she hadn't noticed my obvious assessment of her.

"Yeah." I smiled back. Her handshake was firm, business-like.

"I assume Nathan's not expecting you," she said.

"No. I wanted to surprise him."

"I guessed as much. Don't worry, I haven't told him you're here."

"Thanks," I said. "I appreciate it."

Despite how friendly she was coming across, something about her intimidated me.

"No worries. It's nice to know romance isn't dead." She grinned, gesturing down the hallway. I began to follow her. "Speaking of which, I'm really sorry if I got in the way of your weekend last week... That assignment was really urgent."

"Yeah, no, it's fine," I stuttered. "I get that it was important. It didn't get in the way at all." I was babbling and promptly shut my mouth.

"Good," she chirped anyway. "I'm glad."

We walked into what seemed to be the main office area. Louisa chatted away down my ear about what everything was but I was mainly in awe of the place. It was huge. So many offices. Nathan's appeared to be at the back of the room due to how much we seemed to be zigzagging around. I didn't miss how a lot of people, primarily men, greeted Louisa as we passed them. I was about to make a comment about it when we suddenly came to a stop. Louisa pushed open a door and we entered a room which I assumed was her office. There was another door on the opposite wall, which I guessed was the door to Nathan's.

"He's just through there," Louisa said, nodding at the door and confirming my assumption. "Oh, it's nice that you brought him coffee. Latte?"

"Um, no, Americano."

She laughed at that, a melodic sound that echoed around the room. "Wow, Italy really has changed him in more than one way."

I wasn't sure what to make of that so I just laughed quietly. "Yeah...he does like strong coffee these days..."

"Well as long as his abilities in bed haven't changed." She grinned and sat back down at her desk.

I didn't really want to start up a discussion about Nathan's past, but I was still trying to be polite so I could make a good impression.

"Yeah, I've heard he had quite the reputation."

"He did." She sighed, typing in her password to log in to her computer again. "It's a good job he moved to Italy really. It helped a lot of people, not just himself. I know it certainly set me back on the right path."

I frowned. "How do you mean?"

"He was such a bad influence in my life. When he decided to sort himself out in Italy, it was the kick I needed to do the same thing and move on with my life."

"I don't understand. Were you close to him at school or something?"

Louisa's eyes darted up from the computer to meet mine. Hesitation flashed across her beautiful face.

"How did Nathan say he knew me?" she asked lightly.

"He just said you were a girl at his school who was good at organising things," I murmured. "I think he mentioned the prom committee..."

The other door suddenly swung open. "Lou, do you have a copy of—?" Nathan stopped in his tracks when he saw me. "Bella..." he breathed. "What are you doing here?"

"Just getting acquainted with Louisa," I said simply.

And Nathan's awkwardness confirmed what I'd feared. As he looked from Louisa, to me, and then back to Louisa, his eyes told me everything. Louisa kept her gaze focused on Nathan, her red lips pressed together in a tight line. It was clear she wasn't going to say any more.

It seemed like an eternity passed before Nathan spoke up again. My heart thumped as I waited for an explanation. I sincerely hoped it was all a misunderstanding, despite his worried eyes. But when his attention focused solely on me, I knew it wasn't a misunderstanding. And when he spoke, he confirmed it. In just three words. One breath.

"I'm so sorry."

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Thank you for reading :)xx