Chapter 11 - "Things happen for a reason."

My whole body was in agony. All this pain for ten minutes of pleasure? It was still completely satisfying though...

"You alright?" Nathan murmured from beside me.

I rolled over to face him. How long had he been awake for, watching me?

"I'm good." I smiled.

"You were wincing a bit," he said quietly, his eyes concerned. "Did I hurt you?"

"Not at the time." My fingers traced patterns on his chest. "Like I said yesterday, it's exciting to think that we can still experience new things together."

"I'd never get bored of you." He smirked, and I could tell he was reassured enough to revert to teasing again.

"That's not what I meant. Although you're probably right. You'll always be able to find something to tease me about."

"It'd be impossible not to... You give me so much material to work with."

I rolled my eyes. "You're such a loser."

His grin widened and he pulled me closer, kissing my forehead before sighing wistfully.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," he murmured in my ear before pressing his lips to my jaw.

"Likewise," I whispered back. I snuggled closer, draping my arm over his body. "And at least now I know you're still attracted to me."

He leaned back to look at me and cocked a brow. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, come on. Last weekend? You were all over the show. One minute you were turning me down and the next you had me up against the wall."

"And my hard-on wasn't a big enough clue?"

Heat flushed my cheeks. "Do you have to be so crude?"

"You liked it last night."

But we both knew that his words last night had been tame compared to his actions. Actions could be slowed down or stopped. Words couldn't be taken back.

"Speaking of last weekend," he said, his fingers trickling over my hips. "You know you were saying about how you want to be more romantic?"

"Mmhm."

"What you did for me yesterday afternoon, when you tidied my whole flat just to help me out? That was damn romantic."

I laughed slightly. "I was just trying to do you a favour, Nathan. I was trying to get you back on your feet."

"I appreciate it more than I probably let on," he said. "I was so shocked, plus my mind was still thinking about...other things."

Tension hung in the air between us again as we both inevitably began to think about the previous afternoon. This time, however, it wasn't an awkward tension. It was a comfortable tension, but one that was verging slightly on sexual. I really wanted to do it again.

"I guess I'm not so innocent, huh?" I asked, smiling at Nathan coquettishly.

A playful smirk danced on his lips as his fingers delicately traced patterns on my skin. "Oh, Bella...there's still time yet."

My stomach fluttered, all those filthy thoughts from yesterday returning to my mind. The possibilities...things we could do...

"Although," Nathan said, his grin widening. "My mind just keeps replaying one of the things you said to me."

"Oh yeah?" I asked with interest, wondering what it could be that Nathan had decided to enjoy so much.

"Yep," he grinned. "Although I think I might keep it to myself."

"Oh, don't be cruel. Tell me."

"It's a personal pleasure. It'll only embarrass you."

I snorted. "Come on! I think we're past embarrassment now. Besides, I was the one who said it. It can't be that bad."

He chuckled. "Oh, it's bad alright."

I wriggled closer to him, pressing my front up against his front as we both lay on our sides facing each other. Nathan's hand trailed up from my back to twist into my hair, where it immediately began to lazily play with my tousled strands. He was apparently enjoying the arrangement, as I could feel him pressing into my thigh that was wedged between his legs. Or maybe that was just because of the conversation we were having...

"You sure you want to know?" he checked.

"I'm positive," I assured him.

"Take off your boxers and get inside me." He didn't even build up to it. He let the sentence roll of his tongue, his mouth forming into an amused smirk.

"Oh my God," I mumbled, a blush immediately rising to my cheeks. I'd forgotten about that.

Nathan grinned and pushed me backwards so that I rolled onto my back. My hands immediately rushed up to cover my reddening face, but he just laughed and pulled them away. We had a little wrestle, which Nathan obviously won, and seconds later he was pinning my arms above my head so he could properly see me.

"It's top of my list." He winked.

"What list?"

"My list of 'Bella's Top Lines'." He grinned.

"Oh, you're such a dick—"

He laughed and pressed his mouth against mine, kissing me purposefully. It was like flicking a switch. We'd gone from messing around to kissing, and even though Nathan's kissing was playful to begin with, it soon turned serious. His hands tightened around my wrists as he pressed my hands even further above my head. I don't think he was even aware that his grip was strengthening. It didn't hurt me. It did the opposite. In this position, I was completely vulnerable to Nathan. And I loved it. I loved the feeling that he was in total control of my body, in total control of me...

As his tongue ventured into my mouth, I started to pull my wrists free, feeling the need to touch his body and pull him close. But Nathan's grip tightened even more and now I knew it wasn't a subconscious thing – he was doing it deliberately. He was restraining me. I wasn't in any fit state to continue with this, so reluctantly, I pulled my mouth from his.

Sensing my change in direction, he rolled off me with ease, propping himself up on his elbow as he continued to watch me.

"You alright?"

"Yeah. I just don't want to do anything else. I don't think I actually can do anything else."

He was quiet for a moment as he continued to look at me. His lips twisted slightly in contemplation whilst his eyes flickered over my body.

"Have I hurt you a lot, Bella?"

"No," I said quickly, much too quickly. "It didn't hurt at all last night. I promise. My body just wasn't used to it and now I'm feeling it. It's fine, Nathan. It's a good hurt if anything."

My answer didn't seem to totally satisfy him, but he didn't press the issue. Instead he sat up in the bed and stretched.

"Are you up to going for a walk?" he asked me. "Exercise might loosen it up a bit."

I nodded. "Yeah. I'll be fine." I'd force myself to be fine anyway, just to ease his worrying.

"Good," he said, swinging his legs over the bed and standing up. I remained where I was lying, simply happy to just watch him. "I'm going for a shower. A cold one," he added with a smile. "Your body does cruel things to me, Miss Smith."

"Tell me about it." I smirked back.

He grinned and bent down to kiss my forehead. "I'll see you in ten."

And then I watched his muscular body retreat into the bathroom, thinking about the way that body had dominated me last night.

*

As Nathan and I strolled through a deserted park together, my aching body gradually began to loosen up.

"How's the new assistant getting on?" I asked him.

"She's doing well," he replied optimistically. "I knew she'd do a good job; she couldn't have done a worse job than the other one anyway."

"Shouldn't she be lightening your workload though? You still seem absolutely shattered all the time."

"It's just the time of year," he assured me, squeezing my hand. "She makes it as easy as it could be."

"So what makes this time of the year busier?"

I wanted to take more of an interest in Nathan's job. He didn't tend to tell me much about it, and when he was so shattered all the time, I felt cruel asking him about work. The last thing he probably wanted to think about was his job when he'd just got home from a tiring day.

"Italian tourism mainly," he said. "The summer is their busiest period."

"Of course."

"Speaking of Italy..." he said slowly, pulling me to a halt beneath a huge oak tree. He sat down amongst the roots and then pulled me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around my body to secure me there.

"Yes?" I asked with a smile, letting my fingers twist in his hair.

"Do you have plans for Christmas?"

"Nothing apart from eating and sleeping," I told him. "Why? Do you want to spend it together?" I asked excitedly, already thinking about how amazing it would be to spend Christmas with Nathan, especially after last year.

"Yeah." He smiled. "I want you to spend it with my family in Italy."

My mouth dropped open in surprise. Then I quickly shut it, biting my lip anxiously.

"Oh, I really want to," I admitted. "You know I do."

"But...?"

"I can't abandon my family at Christmas, especially now that I won't be seeing them very often."

He nodded. "That's alright. I understand."

I pouted and rested my forehead against his. "You know I want to. I really want to."

"I know, Bella. It's fine. Maybe New Year instead then?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah. I could probably do New Year."

He smiled softly and then gave me a chaste kiss on my lips. "It's a good enough compromise."

"Why do you have to spend it in Italy?" I asked, trying not to whine. "Can't you spend it in England?"

He shook his head. "My dad and my sister have a life over there now. And I can't accommodate them in my flat. Plus, they see me even less than your family see you."

I nodded, understanding completely. "Of course."

Snuggling into Nathan's lap, I rested my head on his shoulder. His hands rhythmically stroked my back and my hair, sending me to sleep.

"I just had a flashback," he suddenly murmured. His hands didn't stop stroking me.

"Mmm?" I asked with interest, but not opening my eyes. I was so content in this moment, completely relaxed and at peace with the world.

"The last time you and I sat under a tree, you were much more distressed," he said quietly. "This is much nicer."

"Mmm," I said, this time in agreement. "You said such amazing things to me that evening. I can still remember it all."

"I'm glad it sunk in." He chuckled.

I sat upright so I could look at him. "Things have changed, huh?" I ran a finger down his cheek.

"For the better, I hope."

"Of course for the better. It seems stupid now. I got so upset over Matt; I was blind for the whole of that relationship. You were so good to me. I don't know if I ever said how much I appreciated your support."

"I'm sure you did say it," he reassured me. "But even if you didn't, I knew that you did appreciate it. I could tell."

"Things happen for a reason," I said in contemplation, staring off across the park. My fingers didn't stop caressing Nathan's face though, almost in absent-mindedness.

"I agree."

"I know you agree." I smiled, twisting to face him again. "You were the one who made me believe in all that."

"Well I'm glad I succeeded. Even though at the time I felt like you weren't absorbing any of it."

"I absorbed it all, trust me. I was just too busy feeling sorry for myself."

"Bella, you had every reason to feel that way."

"You were very understanding."

"I just wanted to be there for you. I didn't care what that involved."

I smiled. Every now and then, I was overcome by a feeling of total inadequacy. What had I done to deserve someone like Nathan? I didn't bring it up. I kept it to myself. Bringing it up would only result in Nathan going defensive and shooting the question straight back at me. But maybe that was just what love was about. Two people who were equally crazy about each other. Not like Matt and me. There was nothing equal about that. But then again, I didn't know what love was until I met Nathan.

--

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