Chapter 10 - "Tell me if you didn't like it."

**Although this chapter is important for the plot of this story, it does contain some strong sexual content.**

I slid my key into Nathan's lock and twisted it. The door clicked and then swung open automatically to reveal his deserted apartment. For the past year, Nathan had been living by himself in his family's home and I'd never noticed any mess in his house; in fact, I remembered thinking how tidy it was considering that he was a teenage boy living alone.

However, the sight of Nathan's flat almost caused me to gasp out-loud. Dirty dishes piled up high on the counters, and I tried not to think about how long they might have been there. Newspapers cluttered the coffee table, and when I looked at the date of one of them, it was over a week old. Various pairs of shoes were scattered about the room and a few different jackets were flung over several different chairs. His dining table was covered with papers, and upon closer inspection, I realized that it was work; most of it was in Italian. I took a deep breath and then headed into the bedroom.

The whole room was a tip. Clothes were strewn all over the floor. His wardrobe doors were open and even the clothes stored in there weren't arranged neatly; they were screwed up and falling off hangers. His bed wasn't made and the sheets were twisted in such a way that it would be impossible to sleep. An ironing board leaned against the far corner of the room.

The biggest surprise, or rather the thing that shouldn't have surprised me, was the fact that his bathroom was immaculate. All his various hair products, aftershave and colognes were lined up neatly on the shelf above the sink. Judging by this and the ironing board, Nathan clearly took more pride in his own appearance than the appearance of his home.

I couldn't just sit back and let Nathan live in this dump. His flat was pretty basic anyway – even the worst accommodation was still expensive in London – but it wasn't helped at all by the amount of mess that he'd managed to create.

Checking the time, I noted that I had about an hour before Nathan was due back from work. I began gathering up his clothes and shoving them into his laundry basket – not taking the time to work out which ones were dirty and which would survive another day. Then I stripped his bed and dropped the sheets with the dirty clothes before putting on fresh bedding.

While one set of colours spun away in the washing machine, I tackled the kitchen, spending a good half hour doing all his washing up. As the dishes were drying on the drainer, I recycled all of his newspapers and hung up his jackets. I placed his shoes neatly by the door and then ironed his clothes before hanging them up correctly in the wardrobe. The only things I left were his work papers, because I didn't want to mess them up.

It took me over an hour, but Nathan was yet to return home. Exhausted, I collapsed backwards on the bed and sank into the comfy mattress. God, this was so much nicer than my mattress at university. I was asleep within seconds.

*

The sound of keys hitting a surface woke me.

"Bella?" Nathan called.

I sat upright, forgetting where I was for a moment before I remembered that I was in Nathan's flat. Nathan strolled into the room, loosening his tie, and my breath caught in my throat. I'd seen him in his suit on Skype plenty of times, but it didn't beat seeing him in the flesh. He looked like he should be on a catwalk with the way his crisp, white shirt clung to his body and his black tie swung from around his collar.

"Hey." He smiled, drawing my attention away from his body and back up to his face. "Having a kip?"

I laughed sheepishly. "Yeah. Sorry."

He sat down on the edge of the bed, his hand immediately twisting into my hair. Faint remnants of his cologne drifted through the air, and I closed my eyes, leaning into his touch.

"I tried calling you to tell you I'd be late."

"Oh. I think my phone is still on silent. Sorry."

"Stop apologizing for everything." He flashed me a grin.

And before I had chance to apologize for apologizing so much, his mouth was on mine. As per usual, all other thoughts ceased to exist as I became consumed with him. My hands wound around his neck as I returned the kiss, all exhaustion replaced with exhilaration. One good thing came out of our new relationship arrangement: physical contact felt so much more electrifying.

When Nathan pulled away from my mouth, I almost let out a whimper of disappointment, but that was soon replaced by a moan when his lips latched onto my neck. Affection gave way to hunger and demand. He trailed a hot path of kisses along the column of my throat, his tongue sweeping along the sensitive skin, sucking the flesh into the heat of his mouth.

Waves of desire fogged my mind. My hands darted to his tie, the silky strip soft against my fingertips as I loosened the rest of the knot and then tore it from around his neck. Part of my memory recognised this as familiar – Nathan, the kisses, the chemistry – while equally struggling to link it to another instance where it had been this frantic, rushed or hazy.

Nathan's hands clawed at my jumper, hurrying to take it off. Seconds later, our arms were getting twisted as he tried to drag up my t-shirt and I tried to undo his shirt buttons in the fastest time possible, desperate for skin-on-skin contact.

But even when we were lying on the bed, with Nathan's body hard and heavy on top of mine, and only underwear between us, I still didn't feel close enough to him. His erection strained against his boxers, digging into me. My whole body burned for him. I needed him inside me. I needed him to fill me completely.

"I need you," I murmured against his mouth.

He let out some kind of noise that sounded like a groan before moving his mouth back to my neck. His kisses travelled along the curve of my neck, down to my collar bone before his mouth latched onto my left breast.

"Oh my God, Nathan..."

He lifted his head up to look at me, his eyes dark and passionate. "That's it. Moan my name."

Then he lowered his mouth again, his tongue twisting around my nipple, sucking, flicking, biting. I writhed against the mattress and arched my spine to encourage him, my fingers tousled in his hair, tugging at the strands.

When his hands tugged at my underwear, I lifted my hips to help. It all happened so quickly. One second his mouth was on my chest, and the next it was between my legs.

A cry spilled from my throat, not caring about the neighbours or the fact that I wasn't normally very vocal in bed. All I could feel, see, and think about was Nathan's tongue on a part of my body that even his fingers hadn't touched so far today. I pinched my eyes shut, driving my head back into the pillow as my arms spread outwards and my hands clasped the edges of the mattress.

Hot pressure coiled deep in my stomach. It was too much. The sensations were too intense. And I couldn't deal with Nathan being down there, putting me through so much pleasurable torture when this was the first time we'd been together in weeks.

"Stop," I gasped.

I didn't need to ask twice. His head emerged from between my legs, and that tension in my stomach somehow intensified.

"Bella..." He crawled up the mattress and nuzzled his face into my neck, his breath warm against the throbbing pulse in my throat.

"No," I said. "Don't Bella me right now. Just take off your boxers and get inside me."

He froze for a fraction of a second, and then his hands flew to his hips, shoving his boxers down his thighs and kicking them off. Before I could even steal a glance, he pushed inside me.

I moaned at the satisfying stretch, my legs instantly winding around his waist, hips meeting his own thrust for thrust. My fingers dug into the taut muscles of his back and shoulders, a gasp escaping my lips every time he drove into me.

"Roll onto your front." He withdrew as he uttered the command, his voice low and strained, and a fresh surge of heat flooded between my thighs.

Complying, I flipped over and grabbed onto the headboard as his palms flattened against my hips, drawing me up onto all fours. The hard ridges of his abs brushed my back as he leaned over me, and then his lips grazed my ear.

"Okay if I'm a little rough?"

"More than okay."

His appreciative hum vibrated against my jaw, and I shuddered. When one hand floated between my legs to tease the sensitive bundle of nerves there, my grip on the headboard tightened and my thighs began to tremble.

Without removing his fingers, he sank into me again. The new position had him reaching a more intense angle, and I groaned in satisfaction. Despite his earlier request, his movements were initially slow and gentle, but in combination with his fingers, my climax hit without warning. Hands slipping from the headboard to clutch the duvet instead, I buried my head in the pillow to stifle my cry as I convulsed around him, ripples of hot pleasure spreading through my body.

Amidst the euphoric haze, I vaguely heard, "Tell me if it's too much."

And then his hand returned to my hip and he began to pound into me, the erotic sounds of flesh slapping against flesh filling the air. Calloused fingertips bit into my hips as he drew me back to meet each powerful thrust. It was hard and fast and rough. So different to usual, and yet so, so good.

"Fuck... Bella... Fuck!"

Hearing him say my name as he lost control was all it took for another wave of pleasure to explode. Nathan sucked in a pained gasp, and then a primal groan tore from his throat as he stilled inside me.

Slowly, he pulled out and collapsed by my side, eyes shut, chest heaving with fast, deep breaths. I snuggled closer and smiled into his body as his fingers slipped lazily through my hair. I felt blissfully happy and perfectly satisfied, my heart thumping with the best kind of exhaustion.

For an hour we lay there with various limbs intertwined, drifting in and out of sleep, until Nathan eventually dragged himself off to take a quick shower. He was yawning when he emerged from the bathroom ten minutes later, fully clothed and drying his hair with a towel.

His eyes landed on the bed and he frowned. "I must be tired," he murmured, his fingers tracing the sheet. "I don't even remember changing this bedding last night. Work must be draining all my energy."

I started to get dressed, watching him as his eyes began to slowly scan the room.

"Bella...? Have you tidied?"

"Oh," I said. "Um, yeah. I did."

He let out a short laugh and headed into the main room. "Oh my God...you tidied everything."

"It was a tip, Nathan. You're normally so tidy."

He carefully draped his towel onto the back of a chair while his eyes continued to survey the room.

"I can't believe I didn't notice this... I literally walked straight through the room and didn't notice how tidy it was."

"Well you were tired from work." I shrugged. "I don't blame you. I was just trying to help you out."

"I appreciate it," he said, his voice still quiet.

He placed his hand lightly on the base of my back as he thanked me, but then removed it just as quickly. What, so he could pound me into the mattress but then not touch my back? We stood there in a silence that was verging on awkward.

"How did it get so messy?" I asked, deciding to keep with the current topic.

Nathan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "It just got out of control. I was getting home from work every night and I was shattered... I couldn't be bothered to tidy. And when it got to a certain point, it began to seem unmanageable so I just left it. It just sort of builds up."

I nodded and the conversation ran dry again. Nathan strolled over to the fridge and opened the door, peering inside.

"Sit down and put your feet up, Bella," he said. "I'll cook us dinner. It's the least I can do after how much tidying you've done for me this afternoon."

I did as he said and curled up on the sofa, turning on the television and mindlessly channel-hopping. I couldn't concentrate though. My head was completely consumed with what had happened an hour ago.

Behind me, I could hear Nathan rustling away in the kitchen, clanging pots and pans and opening packets. He was humming, like he always did when he cooked. The familiar sound relaxed me.

"You seem quiet," he told me part way into the meal.

"So do you," I shot back. No way was this one-sided.

"I've had a hard day at work," he replied.

"Nathan, if you've had to work harder just so you can finish earlier for me, then it really wasn't necessary. I could have waited."

"Don't be daft." He smiled quickly. "I wanted the extra time with you. And besides, thinking about you spurred me on. I worked quicker knowing you were here waiting for me. It's no surprise that I didn't notice how much you'd tidied really. I was more concerned about where you were."

I returned his smile. "Yeah. Sorry I didn't get your calls."

He shrugged and shovelled some food into his mouth. "No worries."

The silence fell between us again and the longer we ate without talking, the more the awkwardness seemed to grow. Eventually, Nathan put his cutlery down. He still had food left, and Nathan always finished his food.

"Are we gonna talk about what happened?" he asked me directly. "Because I can't bear this awkwardness. And don't pretend things aren't awkward because they are."

One of the things I loved most about Nathan was his willingness to address issues head-on. Only, this time, I didn't know where the issue had come from.

"Tell me what's on your mind," he said. "Tell me if you didn't like it."

"Nathan," I murmured, glancing up at him. "It was obvious how much I liked it."

"But was it too much?" He carried on staring at me with unwavering intensity while I shuffled in my seat. "Was I too rough? Shit, I was too rough, wasn't I?"

"No! It was new for me. For us," I said. "But it was good. I agree things feel awkward, but it seems to be coming more from you than me."

His eyes drifted down to his food, lips pinching together. I waited.

"Yeah. I don't know. I was just worried I got carried away and pushed you too far. I could tell you were enjoying it at the time, but whether you'd feel differently afterwards..."

A smile tickled my lips. "I quite liked you getting carried away. Turns out I'm not a fragile object you can break, huh?"

He didn't seem to appreciate that joke, so I dropped the humour but kept my tone light.

"Besides, you told me to say something if it was too much, and I would have done. But honestly, I like that you're not being so careful with me anymore. It's a new stage in our relationship, and now we're spending more time apart, I think it's a good thing that we're still moving forwards."

He smiled, visibly relaxing. "So, we're good, yeah?"

"We're good," I assured him.

The evening progressed pleasantly enough. We were both exhausted from the afternoon's activities, Nathan even more so because of his tough day at work. After curling up together on the sofa to watch Netflix, we headed to bed. This time we only shared a soft kiss goodnight, one that contrasted completely against our earlier passions.

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