|30| - "I can't be a friend to everyone." -

Jasmine breezed through the flat door, her laughter bouncing off the walls and carrying through into my bedroom. I opened my mouth to call out to her, shutting it again when I noticed Sean hot on her heels.

Neither of them spotted me as they settled down in the living room. Brief snippets of quieter conversation echoed down the hallway, and I rose from my bed, deciding to make my presence known.

"Izzy," Jasmine said, her eyebrows shooting upwards when I leant in the doorway to the living room. "Thought you got in later tonight?"

"Late afternoon, not evening. Hi, Sean."

He appeared startled to see me but returned my smile and accepted the laptop that Jasmine passed over to him.

"You find which episode we're on and I'll make a round of drinks," she said. "Izzy, come and tell me about your Valentine's Weekend."

We left Sean on our sofa and reconvened in the kitchen, where I brought Jasmine up to speed on everything from Jess and Jack, to Nathan and Marie.

"Can't believe that bitch still isn't leaving him alone." Jasmine shook her head.

"I think he's going to talk to her about it this week," I said. "Nip it in the bud once and for-"

As the kettle reached boiling point and began to whistle, Jasmine leaned closer and grabbed my arm to interrupt me.

"Sean and I had sex, and I think he's still coming to terms with it so don't say anything that might embarrass him."

She released my arm and turned to the kettle as the whistling quietened. I leant against the counter and blinked at her back, letting the revelation sink in. This Valentine's Day really had turned up the heat with everyone.

"When did that-?"

Spinning to face me, Jasmine thrust her finger against her lips to silence my question. It was typical of Jasmine to drop a casual bombshell like that and then expect me to sit on it until we were alone again.

Nevertheless, I did as she requested, although I couldn't help thinking that I'd have been less likely to accidentally embarrass Sean if I'd been oblivious to their hook-up. With that in mind, I let them watch Netflix in privacy, just like they'd intended.

*

Sean left just before dinner, claiming that he had plans with his flatmate to eat out. I hoped that was the case; I'd hate to think I'd interrupted his day with Jasmine by arriving earlier than they'd thought.

In her typical fashion, Jasmine seemed totally unfazed by the whole situation, having kissed him goodbye at the door with a promise to text him later. A kiss and a text after a hook-up suggested this was more than just casual sex. Jasmine's normal one-night-stands would be lucky to get cereal, never mind anything else.

"I guess it kind of just happened," she said as we discussed it over a glass of wine.

"You make it sound unexpected, like you haven't been sticking it on him for the past couple of months."

Jasmine smirked at my response. "I think I was a little more subtle than that, thank you very much."

I laughed but urged her to continue. She explained that they'd all gone out for dinner on Valentine's Day, which had then turned into drinks. With me otherwise occupied in Paris, Sean had offered to walk Jasmine home and, naturally, she'd accepted.

"I invited him in for coffee, we started watching something on Netflix, and you can stop giving me that smirk because it was actually Sean who made the first move."

My eyebrows shot upwards as my grin widened. Good for Sean.

Jasmine's confident, outgoing attitude often had one of two effects: intrigue or intimidation. Thinking back to when we'd first met the group, Sean had definitely seemed intimidated by her. Several months down the line, I liked that he'd seen past Jasmine's fiery outer layer to the softness that hid underneath.

"So?" I prompted.

"Are you asking for details?"

"Not particularly. Just an overall opinion."

Wetting her lips, Jasmine averted her eyes across the living room and drummed her fingers against her thighs. For a while, she said nothing.

I waited patiently as she seemingly searched for words. Her prolonged silence unnerved me, and my stomach clenched in anticipated sympathy for Sean. After a good night, Jasmine never held back.

"Incomparable," she said eventually.

Incomparable. That was her overall opinion on sex with Sean. What did that even mean? Was that a good thing?

"Go on..." I encouraged, unable to hide the wariness from my voice.

If Jasmine detected my apprehension, she didn't show it. Instead, she curled her feet beneath her legs and twisted to face me front-on. Her wine sloshed dangerously close to the rim of the glass, but she didn't appear to notice it.

"I don't usually know the people I have sex with," she said. "There's no emotional connection. Everything runs on lust, or at least a thirst for pleasure. With Sean..."

"There's an emotional connection?"

"Of course there is. He's a friend. Even if the connection isn't necessarily romantic, it's still there, right?"

I nodded. "But is it romantic?"

Jasmine contemplated her answer before responding, and I realised that despite my own fears of Sean getting hurt, I hadn't actually considered that this might not have been romantically-motivated for him, either.

"I think so. I'm attracted to him and it's flirtatious. That's more than friendship, right? You tell me, Izzy. You know that I'm the sex expert and you're the relationship one."

Her tone lightened as she grinned at me, and my initial worries subsided. Jasmine wasn't scared. She was just inexperienced and unsure.

"Sorry, have you seen my relationship over this past year? I don't think I'm in a position to be dishing out advice."

She rolled her eyes. "Please. That makes you more qualified than ever if anything. You've overcome hurdles and you're still together. But regardless of all that, at least you know what a relationship feels like."

"True, but every relationship will be different, Jas. How does Sean make you feel? I think that's the main difference between a friendship and a relationship. They speak to you on different levels."

"Hmm. Maybe I just need to work out what level we're on, then. I mean, don't get me wrong, the sex was good. It's just not what I was used to. And we haven't exactly talked about where we go from here."

"Don't put pressure on it. That would be my piece of advice. Let the chips fall where they may... See how things go and I think that'll help you decide what you both want."

As if remembering the glass of wine she held, Jasmine lifted it to her lips and took a long gulp.

"You're right," she said. "We've got a few months left here to see where things go. Plenty of time to decide if we want to make it more serious. And if it all goes tits up, at least I'll never have to see him again."

I chuckled and knocked my wine glass against hers in a show of solidarity. In truth, though, I couldn't imagine it ending on bad terms if they did decide not to carry on. Sean had never shown us anything but kindness, and Jasmine's attitude to life had always been positive. For two people whose personalities contrasted so sharply, something about them also made perfect sense.

*

February never failed to catch me by surprise. One day it was Valentine's, and then March suddenly appeared. For someone who'd spent most of their Year Abroad counting down the days until it ended, I welcomed the familiar feeling of time running away.

I also welcomed a WhatsApp message from Nathan, informing me that the situation with Marie had been resolved.

He called me later that evening, still sweaty from his gym session because he'd quickly learnt that nothing frustrated me more than a pixelated image hindering my view of his glistening muscles.

"So, when you say resolved..."

"...Yes?" he prompted, cocking an eyebrow at me.

"That suggests it all went well. She was fine with it, didn't take offense, didn't threaten to report you to HR?"

Nathan shrugged. "I wouldn't say she was fine with it. As tactful as I tried to be, I was still effectively rejecting her in some capacity."

"Yeah, I suppose. What did she say?"

He shuffled in his seat and scratched at the growing facial hair along his jaw.

"Do you want a general summary or all the dirty details?"

"Judging by how uncomfortable you look, I assume I'm not going to enjoy all the dirty details?"

Nathan chuckled despite his obvious uneasiness. "No, you're not. But, no secrets anymore, right? So, if you want the lowdown, you can have it. I just hate having these kinds of conversations over Skype when I can't comfort you."

"Wow, is it really that bad?"

His eyes widened and I watched him mentally backpedal, before his shoulders slumped. Sighing, he shrugged.

"She wasn't particularly complimentary."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, I appreciate you trying to protect me. Just hit me with it and I'll brace myself."

"Okay..."

He may well have said, you asked for it.

"She essentially suggested that you were controlling me, telling me who I can and can't speak to."

What the hell?

"But," he said, as I opened my mouth to vocalise my feelings on that suggestion of hers, "I made it very clear how far from the truth that is. I said her behaviour wasn't just inappropriate on a personal level—continually pursuing someone in a relationship—it was inappropriate on a professional one, too."

I pursed my lips together, waiting to see if Nathan continued. His rationale made perfect sense. How could she have argued against that? There had to be more to it.

"And she accepted that?"

"Not especially. She made it sound like I'd been leading her on. But that would only have been the case before Christmas, when I thought I was being friendly and didn't realise lines had been crossed. She knew exactly where we stood after that."

"Right..."

"I think she was suggesting that we'd been much friendlier in the past, so that meant I'd deemed her behaviour appropriate at some point."

With a heavy sigh, I shook my head. "That was a misunderstanding. She can't use it as an excuse when you've since put a stop to it."

"I agree, Bella. She knows I've been subtly rejecting her for the past few months, but she'd been in denial. I made it crystal clear today and so she's lashing out."

"Because she's failed. Whatever she's been trying to do hasn't worked out for her. She'll be clutching at straws."

"I know. I'm also being a boss now. Not a colleague."

I smiled and cocked an eyebrow. "Pulling rank?"

He snorted. "Hardly. I'm just making the boundaries clear. I can't be a friend to everyone, and I get that now. I need to stop wanting to be liked and start doing my job properly."

Even though Marie's behaviour still niggled at me, my affection towards Nathan overpowered it. His desire to be liked by his work colleagues had been the root cause of so many issues during my time in Italy, from his boozy night out to his lack of messaging.

"Thank you for having the conversation, Nathan."

His eyes softened as he smiled at me. "I meant what I said to her, Bella. This wasn't because I felt obliged to have the conversation. You are my priority. Making you happy is my priority. But I wanted to put a stop to this Marie thing. It's gone on too long. It's gone too far. And if she still carries on, then she can't pretend it was mutual."

"And then you'll be the one doing the reporting to HR."

His lips curved upwards. "Bella, nobody is reporting anyone. I just want to draw a line under it now. Throw her into a metaphorical box with all the other stupid shit I've done in my life."

Although he said it with a humourless laugh to convey his regret, I could also hear the sadness in his voice. Drawing a line under it sounded good. I had a few months left in Italy and wanted to prove to myself-to both of us-that we could make this long-distance thing work much more smoothly than we had been doing.

"I can help you close that metaphorical lid," I said.

Nathan smiled in appreciation. "Trust me, Bella, you're the one person who makes me believe I can be better."

Our conversation reminded me of Jasmine's situation with Sean. Sometimes a relationship isn't just about how good two people are together. It's about how two people together can bring out the best in each other.

***

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