Chapter 9 - "He doesn't care enough."

For the next few days, Matt ate with us at lunch. The only time he ever did this was when he was making up for something that he felt guilty about. It didn't exactly deter Nathan, but he sat beside Katrina, talking to her instead. Something small had changed between the two of us and I knew it was to do with Matt but I just couldn't work out what. He was still being civil with me, but the joking had taken a back seat and he wasn't quite as full on as he had been previously.  

Then, on Thursday, when Matt had football practice, I felt like I'd interrupted a private chat when I sat down at our table for lunch. Nathan and Kat had been deep in conversation but stopped talking immediately when I took my seat.  

I tried to make a joke out of it, but I'm pretty sure my voice came out as worried rather than light-hearted.  

"Wow. Obvious much?" 

"What's obvious?" Kat asked me lightly, with a small smile.  

I shook my head. Things were good between Matt and me; I didn't want Kat's interference. If her and Nathan wanted to gossip, then I'd let them. It made a welcome change from them both lecturing me to my face.  

"Where's the boyfriend?" Nathan asked me, noticing that I was alone for the first time this week. 

"Football," I replied.  

"He's detached himself from your hip then. That's nice for you. Or not. Whichever." 

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Is there a problem, Nathan?" 

"No problem at all," he smiled sweetly.  

"Okay, the thing is," Kat began slowly, "Matt has been...I don't know...he's doing that thing where he majorly sucks up to you after an argument." 

"He feels bad and is trying to make up for it," I said. 

"And next week, it will be back to normal," Kat told me. "Because that's how it always is. He makes sure he doesn't lose you and then he slips back into his normal routine of not giving a shit." 

I flinched, her words hurting me despite having heard them many times before. "Kat, please..." 

"No, Izzy. I'm fed up of it. I'm fed up of you getting upset. I know we argue about this a lot but it's just because I care and because I can see what he's doing and how he's playing you—" 

"He cares about me, okay?" I snapped. "I know you supposedly care, but so does he." 

"He doesn't care enough." 

I turned my gaze onto Nathan. "And I suppose you agree?" 

He held up his hands in defence. "Don't drag me into your cat-fight." 

"Don't give me that," I scowled. "You've given me the cold shoulder ever since Matt and I made up." 

"Cold shoulder?" He quirked a brow. "Excuse me, Bella, but you were the one who made it clear you didn't want me pestering you so much." 

"There's a difference between pestering and simply being friendly." I shook my head. "I thought we'd turned a corner on Saturday and we were now on the same page." 

"We're not on the same page, Bella. We're not even on the same chapter." He scraped a hand over the lower half of his face, and then rose from his seat. "I've got a paper to write. I'll see you both later."

After he'd left, I looked to Kat in disbelief, unsure of what I'd just witnessed. "What's his problem?"

"Like it's not obvious." She scoffed. "He's just hurt, okay? He really thought he'd made progress on Saturday—"

"Progress with what? Trying to make me see sense with Matt, or trying to build an actual friendship with me?" 

"He's not trying to split you guys up." 

"Really? Because I'm beginning to feel like some kind of project," I told her honestly, my voice quieter. "It's exhausting and hurtful. I've only just met Nathan and he's already interfering in things that he knows nothing about and I just..." I trailed off, an idea occurring to me. "Did you tell him to?"

"Did I tell him to what?" Kat questioned, cocking her head to the side with a frown.

"Saturday. You told him to take me out." I leaned back in my chair and folded my arms as a ball of nausea churned through my stomach. "He didn't do it because he wanted to prove he could just be a friend. He did it because you asked him to."

"Don't be ridiculous, Isobel." 

"Don't lie to me, Kat," I said. "You're a bad liar."

I lowered my eyes to my food, no longer hungry. I didn't know Nathan well enough to feel this hurt and disappointed that his motives hadn't been as genuine as he'd made me believe. 

"Nathan does care about you," Kat assured me. "Honestly. But, okay, maybe I suggested it would be a good idea for him to take you out, to let you experience something out of your comfort zone, just so you know how much you're missing out on by choosing the safe option and staying with Matt." 

"You're meant to be my best friend, Kat. You're supposed to want me to be happy. Instead you're just obsessed with Matt, to the extent that you're now resorting to sneakier tactics to break us up." 

Although Kat always insisted I should open my eyes and see that Matt was treating me badly, she never actually considered the way she was acting sometimes. 

"You're not happy with Matt," she told me. "You just think you are." 

"I don't believe this," I said, feeling foolish. "You and Nathan..." 

"What? There's nothing going on. I only asked him as a favour because it's obvious how much he likes you!" 

"Well, clearly not, since all he's doing is acting on what you've told him to do." 

"Oh, come on, he was flirting with you well before I even suggested it." 

"That's just how he is," I said. "My point is that I don't want him to flirt. I want him to be a friend."

"It's how he is with you," Kat insisted. "Nobody else. Do you know why he's been so off with you? Because he's so damn hurt that all the effort he made on Saturday has gone to waste. But because he's a guy, he doesn't know how to deal with hurt, so he's being moody about it instead." 

"As true as that may be, it doesn't change the fact that the two of you were plotting—" 

"Plotting is a strong word—"

"Hey, guys." Jess sat down beside me and immediately picked up on the tension. Her eyes darted between Kat and me. "Everything okay..?"

"Look, Izzy, I'm sorry, okay? I was just trying to do what's best for you," Kat apologised.  

"That's the whole issue, Kat. We don't agree on what's best for me. If you seriously want to help, then you can just keep out of my relationship, okay?" 

"I'm your best friend. That's not possible."  

"There's offering advice, and then there's interfering. What you and Nathan did overstepped the line." 

"What's happened?" Jess asked with a frown. "What've I missed?" 

"Kat told Nathan to take me out on Saturday. Turns out that since I've never taken her advice on Matt, she's now hoping that Nathan will wear me down instead." 

"It wasn't exactly like that," Kat swiftly said to Jess.  

I finished off the rest of my food, not wanting to discuss it any more. "I'm done talking about this. I need to revise for a Spanish exam this afternoon." 

"Can we do something this evening?" Kat asked pleadingly. "Please? I'm really sorry, Izzy." 

"I'm just fed up," I said with a sigh. "Honestly, Kat, I know you mean well, and I appreciate that you're looking out for me, but I can't explain how hurtful it becomes." 

"Just don't think badly of Nathan. He didn't do it for me. He did it because he cares about you. He's a good guy, Izzy. Honestly. I have a radar for bad guys, and he's not one of them." 

I wanted to believe her, but part of me also didn't want to believe her. If Nathan had bad intentions, then that was much easier to deal with. 

-

Although I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate on Spanish revision when I was feeling so down, I headed to the library anyway. It was a nice environment in there, even though all I could now think about was the time I'd been here with Nathan and he'd made inappropriate comments about sex.  

I'd barely pulled out my books before someone sat down opposite me, sprawling themselves half way across my desk.  

"Revising Spanish? Aren't you, like, fluent?" Sam asked, spinning one of my books around to face him so he could read the title.  

"No, Sam. I'm not fluent. Just because I speak more Spanish than you, does not mean that I'm fluent." 

He shot me a grin. "So, how's it going?" 

"Fine, thanks." 

"Did something go down with you and Matt at that party?" he then asked, flicking through the pages of my textbook with little interest.  

"No. Not really," I replied, not wanting to go into it. "Why? Are people talking about it?"  

I'd come here to escape conversations about Matt, but I couldn't bear the idea of people gossiping. I hated gossip, and I hated being the centre of attention, so people talking about me was pretty much my worst nightmare.  

"Nah," Sam replied, sliding the book back over to me. "But I saw you looking upset." 

"He was just getting quite close to another girl, but that's all it was. It's sorted now." 

"Good to know," he smiled. "Because, you know, I'd happily go and beat him up for you if you wanted me to." 

I smiled at that, purely because the idea of sweet, harmless Sam beating up anyone was laughable.

"How'd it go with the brother?" I said, turning the topic of conversation back onto him.  

"Yeah. It was good. Think I've won his approval, but I didn't plan on meeting family so soon. Not sure if it's moving too fast." 

Laughter broke from my throat, and I quickly dialled down the volume. "You got caught sneaking out of her bedroom, and then you had lunch with her brother. Now isn't the time to suddenly slow it down. It won't help those approval ratings." 

"It's not like I intended to get caught or meet her brother, though. I didn't even have sex with her. We just fell asleep."

Two girls strolled past us, their arms full of books, and Sam flashed them a charming smile as their curious eyes drifted over him. 

"I just don't want to ruin anything by rushing into it too fast," he said to me. "I actually really like her."

"Maybe try being honest with her. She might be worrying about the same thing."

Hope flashed across his face. "You think?" 

"I don't know her, but maybe. It's worth a conversation."

"Right. Yeah. Okay. Great chat, Smith. I'll leave you to revise in peace now. You know, since you're not fluent." 

"Good luck. I'm rooting for you." 

He ruffled my hair in that same friendly manner before sauntering out of the library, looking relatively pleased with himself. I didn't know the girl, but she was lucky to be dating someone who valued a potential relationship as much as Sam did. 

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