Chapter 28 - "Wow, you weren't kidding."

"Well, this sucks." 

I was sitting in the window, watching the rain fall heavily from the sky and bounce off the concrete enthusiastically. So much for a White Christmas... 

"It's Christmas!" Mum said cheerfully, shaking my shoulder playfully as if that would help to disperse all my misplaced enthusiasm. "Cheer up a bit! Where's your Christmas spirit? In Italy with your boyfriend?" 

"I was talking about the fact it's raining rather than snowing, but thanks for bringing that up again, Mum."  

"Have you spoken to him today?" 

"Briefly," I replied. "We did a long video call last night. We'll probably do a similar thing this evening, too." 

Mum sat down beside me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. "I'm really happy for you, Isobel." 

I smiled genuinely, for the first time during the conversation. "I'm really happy for me, too." 

And I was.  

- 

Later that evening, Nathan and I loaded up the webcams again. Just seeing his face, even on my computer screen, brought a smile to my lips and butterflies to my stomach.  

"Merry Christmas." He flashed me his signature grin. "Again." 

"Merry Christmas to you, too. How's your day been?" 

"It's been nice," he replied, nodding. "Christmas is meant to be a family thing, and that's been made even more special by the fact I rarely see my family." 

I smiled, but almost sadly. Nathan must miss his family a lot. He never really showed it, but a lack of close relatives was surely something he noticed on a regular basis.  

"Have you ever considered moving back?" 

"Not recently. It's not a big deal. I'm a grown man. How is this different from moving out?" 

"Well, you barely ever see them." 

"I go where life takes me, Bella. One day it will probably take me back to Italy. Ever fancied living there?" 

I smiled. Nathan always made a big deal out of living life by the day. He never planned ahead. Knowing that his future plans involved us together filled me with warmth.  

"My mum was teasing about marriage earlier," I admitted sheepishly.  

"I knew she was in love with me!" 

"Shut up," I laughed. "I meant you and me. Not you and her." 

He winked. "Just teasing, Bella." 

He suddenly looked over his shoulder at something that wasn't visible on the camera. A girl then came into view. She was blonde with long, wavy hair, and extremely pretty. This must be his sister, Georgia.  

"Is that her?" she asked Nathan, looking at his screen.  

As she was staring at the screen rather than the webcam, she wasn't looking directly at me, but I guessed she had her eyes on the video and was seeing me there.  

"Yeah," Nathan said. "That's her." 

"Wow, you weren't kidding." She smiled, glancing quickly at Nathan. "She's really pretty." 

"She is," Nathan said in agreement. "But we're actually on a video call so she can hear everything you're saying." 

His sister laughed in embarrassment. "Oh. Sorry to interrupt!" 

"It's fine." I smiled, but my heart thudded against my ribcage. This was the first time I'd met a member of Nathan's family and I wanted to make a good impression. "It's nice to meet you." 

"It's nice to meet you, too! We've heard so much about you!" 

"All good, I hope," I laughed nervously.  

Nathan raised an eyebrow. "What bad stuff could I possibly say, Bella?"  

And then he winked, out of Georgia's view so she didn't notice. I fought back the blush that was threatening to rise and hoped the video quality wasn't decent enough to see it, anyway. He was most likely referring to the time I'd desperately tried to sleep with him, and that probably wasn't the type of thing you'd explicitly say in front of your family.  

"We wanted to meet you sooner," Georgia said. "But obviously there are...complications."  

She threw out her arms to gesture around her, clearly a reference to the fact they were in Italy.  

"Yeah," I said regretfully. "It's a shame." 

"But still," she said cheerfully with a shrug. "The way that Nathan talks about you, it doesn't sound like you're going anywhere anytime soon." And then she playfully nudged his shoulder.  

"What does he say about me?" I asked with a curious smile, propping my head up on my elbow and gazing at the two siblings. I could instantly tell that they were close, once again reinforcing my sympathy that Nathan couldn't be around her more often.  

"It's not just what he says," she told me. "It's the look that comes over his face whenever he talks about you. He's so completely loved-up; it's sickening," she teased. "I never thought a girl would be able to convert him." 

"From what I heard, Italy converted him." 

She shrugged. "He's not in Italy anymore." 

"I've no desire to change back," Nathan said firmly, mainly to Georgia.  

"Glad to hear it," I smirked.  

He smirked back and something personal was exchanged in that look. Despite being in different countries and other sides of a computer, Nathan and I could still interact like we were together. There was a chemistry between us that never faded, no matter our circumstances. Unfortunately, though, it just made me miss him even more.  

"I'll leave you to it, anyway," Georgia announced, and I wondered if she'd seen the exchange and suddenly felt like she was intruding.  

"It was really nice to meet you," I told her earnestly.  

"You, too." She beamed. "I'm really looking forward to meeting you for real." 

"Likewise."

She walked off, disappearing from the view of the camera, and a couple of seconds later I heard the door shut.  

"So, how's your day been?" he asked me. "We talked about me rather than you." 

"It's been good," I replied. "The weather's been miserable, though. I was hoping for a snowy Christmas." 

He laughed and then turned serious all of a sudden. "I miss you so much." 

I smiled, touched but also sad. "I miss you, too. At least we've got modern technology...it's almost the same." 

"It's not the same, though. It's not the same as smelling you and touching you and kissing you..." 

The butterflies began again, fluttering their wings frantically in my stomach as I replayed recent memories of his lips, his hands, his tongue...

"You can touch me as much as you like when you're back," I told him with a coy smile.  

"Is this your attempt at dirty talk?" 

"No. I know you'd completely shoot me down and take the piss if I even attempted dirty talk." 

He laughed. "So where exactly do you want me to touch you...?" 

"Nathan." 

He laughed again, clearly at my expense. "Okay. Sorry." Then he sighed in contemplation. "I keep thinking about our last evening together and how perfect it was." 

"Me, too. It was so special. Thank you."

"I meant what I said," he told me softly. "I didn't just say it back to avoid rejecting you. I love you so much. I have done for a while now." 

It was the first time he'd said it since that evening. We hadn't said it during any of our phone calls; it didn't seem to mean as much. Sure, it meant more than saying it over text, but it wasn't the same as saying it in person.  

"I know. And I meant it, too. I wouldn't have said it otherwise." 

"It surprised me when you said it," he admitted. "I always thought I'd be the one to say it first. And, whenever I imagined saying it, I always feared you wouldn't say it back." 

"It's a big deal to me," I told him. "You're the first guy I've ever said it to."  

He raised his eyebrows. "You never said it to Matt?" 

"Not to his face. I guess a part of me knew I wasn't actually in love with him. But that night with you... I just knew. And then I had to tell you, almost like keeping it to myself was like keeping a secret from you." 

"Well, I'm glad we don't have secrets." He smiled.   

Despite it just being a light-hearted comment between the two of us, said mainly to reflect our feelings, I couldn't help but think about it in a deeper way. Compared to Matt, and even Jess, I hadn't known Nathan a huge amount of time, but yet I still felt like I could tell him anything. I couldn't imagine a scenario where I'd keep secrets from him, at least not bad ones, anyway. He'd been honest with me from the start, and I wanted to return that honesty by being as open as possible. It was difficult to tell if there'd come a time where I would perhaps hesitate before telling Nathan something, but I sincerely hoped my morals would override that reluctance and offer him the honesty he deserved.  

- 

A few days later, I met up with Jess to go shopping and hit the sales. I could tell she was withdrawn but I didn't want to bring it up; if she wanted to talk, then she'd talk. Sure enough, later on that afternoon, she talked.  

"Liverpool rejected me." 

We were eating lunch at a café in the middle of the mall and as soon as the conversation lapsed, Jess had spoken up about the reason she was so subdued.  

I looked up in genuine surprise. "Liverpool did?" 

She nodded, staring down at her burger. "Yeah. They got back to me last night. Straight rejection." 

"Did they say why?" 

She shook her head. "No. It just said that my application had been unsuccessful." 

I didn't understand. Jess was top of every class, and especially good at Chemistry, which was what she wanted to study.  

"I don't understand." I vocalised my thoughts. "You got an offer from Durham and Oxford!" 

She shrugged. "I should be glad about that, right?" She forced a smile. "I guess I just don't like being rejected." 

I regarded her silently for a little bit. Jess wasn't used to being rejected from anything—she was the best and she was used to being the best—but I had a feeling that this wasn't the main issue.  

"Alex applied to Liverpool, too, didn't he?" I asked quietly, with a degree of sensitivity in case it was a touchy subject.  

She sighed. "Yeah. He got his offer weeks ago." 

"Don't worry about it, Jess. You guys already agreed you were gonna stay together and you're really strong." 

"Yeah, I know...but Oxford, Durham...they're miles away from Liverpool. Being at the same university would have been ideal." 

"Look, if it's gonna work out between you guys, then it'll work out wherever you are. And would you really want to compromise by going to Liverpool, anyway? What if you then happened to break up for whatever reason? You'd regret turning down Oxford." 

"You're right." She sighed. "I guess it just seemed like the perfect situation." 

"Besides, didn't Alex apply to some London ones? That's near enough to Oxford and it's so easy to get in and out of London to travel around..." 

"Yeah, I know, but I think Liverpool is his first choice. I don't want him compromising his decision for me, either." 

"If something's meant to be, it'll work out."  

I smiled in reassurance and reached to squeeze her hand. While she returned the smile, I could tell she was still sad about the rejection and the prospect of long distance with Alex.

I was a strong believer in fate and in things working out in the way they're meant to. After all, I was the prime case. Matt and I were never meant to be. Maybe I once believed we were, but then we broke up, and now I've got Nathan. I wouldn't change him for the world.

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