Chapter 23 - "You send my body crazy."

"So..." Jess said, drawing out the word, as we met up at school on Wednesday morning in front of the lockers.

I could tell what was coming; it would be another flood of questions. She knew I'd been on a date with Nathan, if that's what we were calling it, and she was keen to find out how things had progressed.

"Just come out with it," I said. "You want to know what went down between Nathan and me last night."

"Well, now you mention it..."

I smiled at her lack of subtlety. "It was nice."

"What specifically was nice?"

Jess was a meticulous student, always getting the highest marks by never omitting the slightest bit of detail. She applied the same practice to her social life as well.

"The date," I said. "It was really nice."

"So... Did he make a move?" She grinned, waggling her eyebrows up and down. Clearly she already suspected that he had, otherwise she wouldn't have been so excited about it.

I paused. "We kissed."

She gasped, her eyes widening with excitement. "Like, for real this time?"

"Yeah, for real."

"How was it?"

I didn't want to sound gushy but I couldn't help but smile. "It was amazing, Jess. Like, seriously amazing."

She grinned. "So are you official now?"

I'd been asking myself that same question a lot last night. We were acting like a couple, but did that mean we were actually in a relationship? Did we need that kind of clarification?

We'd agreed that I was ready to move on, but did he have to officially ask me out? Nathan and I had never labelled our relationship at any part of getting to know one another. When acquaintances seemed too distant, friends seemed too close. When we then became closer, friends seemed too inadequate and yet more than friends seemed too intimate. We'd never had a clear label of what we were to one another at any stage of our progressing relationship. It had almost gone without saying that what we'd had was deeper than a simple label.

"Well, between you and me, I think we're official. I just don't want more gossip to start. It's only just stopped from the last scandal."

"I reckon people will love it," she said. 

"Of course they will. People love gossip in general."

"No, it's more because everyone hates Matt and Katrina at the moment."

"Jess, I doubt anyone cares enough to hate them. They just enjoyed the drama."

"Ooh, speak of the devil," Jess said, her eyes looking past me. "Want some privacy?" she then asked me sneakily with a smirk.

I smirked back, after glancing over my shoulder to see Nathan approaching us. "If it will stop you teasing," I told her.

"Morning." Nathan smiled at both of us. He placed his hand gently on my lower back in greeting but then removed it almost instantly. "Mind if we have a quick chat, Bella?"

"Sure," I replied, quickly depositing the rest of my belongings into my locker before hurriedly shutting the door. "Want to go to the library? It'll be quiet there."

The library was only around the corner so I didn't have too much time to stress over possibilities of what Nathan wanted. As soon as we got there, I shut the door and launched into conversation.

"So, Jess was asking me if we were official."

Nathan nodded and shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket. "That's what I wanted to talk about. I sort of assumed we were official..."

"Me, too."

"But I was just wondering how you wanted to go about it. Do you want to keep it quiet for a while, just between the two of us? And Jess, of course. I know how you feel about gossip and I'll understand if you'd rather lie low for a bit."

Any earlier apprehension about what Nathan wanted to talk about dissolved into affection. Even now, when he knew how I felt, he was still putting me first.

"I don't like the gossip," I said slowly, "but I'd put you before all that. I want to be with you. I don't care what people say. I'd be so proud to be able to say I'm your girlfriend."

"Let's just take things how they go then, yeah?" Nathan asked, reaching to squeeze my hand.

I smiled and squeezed his hand back in response, glancing around the library. It was deserted, just as I suspected.

Nathan suddenly chuckled and I snapped my eyes back onto his face. "What's funny?"

"I was just thinking back to that tour you gave me when I first started here."

I suddenly remembered exactly what he was talking about and I let out a small laugh, too. How times had changed...

"Ah, yes, where we discussed my boring sex life." Although it was a couple of months ago now, a flash of irritation still zipped through me when I recalled Kat's mockery.

The corner of Nathan's mouth tugged up into a playful smirk. "It won't be boring with me."

I almost blushed at the insinuation, but then I played him back at his own game. If he thought I was too innocent...

"Well, I have fifteen minutes before class..." I lowered my voice to a suggestive undertone, looping my arms around his neck and holding his steady gaze.

He didn't look surprised or shocked. He didn't even smirk. His face remained neutral as if he was actually taking me seriously.

"Fifteen minutes isn't nearly enough," he said, his voice low and husky.

I suspected he was only messing with me and had no intention of actually seducing me in the library, but an excited thrill still rushed down my spine. No way was I brave enough to have sex in a library–anyone could walk in and I could do without the extra gossip–but the temptation to play along overpowered my hesitations.

"Depends what you had in mind..." I told him, tilting my head to the side.

His hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me closely against his body. "I only have one thing in mind right now."

And then he dipped his head and kissed me. It was sudden but I responded just as quickly, my mouth immediately opening and accepting his tongue. There was no warming up here. Our tongues caressed and massaged each other as I pressed my body further against his. Nathan's hands slid down my back and into the rear pockets of my jeans, pulling my hips towards his own. I let out an involuntary moan but wasn't even embarrassed about it. I was so caught up in the moment, relishing how this was the most intimate place that Nathan was yet to touch me. When he'd tried a similar move at the party, I'd totally freaked. But it was different this time. I was into it.

Too soon, he broke away from the kiss, ending it with a tender peck on the lips that was in complete contrast to the racy make-out session.

I brushed the pad of my thumb along his jaw and smiled as his eyes fluttered shut. When you looked at him properly, past all the teasing and joking, Nathan was incredibly handsome with his golden skin, chiselled angles and long eyelashes. How was he interested in me?

The bell rang and I let my hand drop to my side. "See you after school?" I asked.

"Sure," he said. "I can give you a lift home."

We agreed on that and then parted ways towards our respective classes.

I couldn't really concentrate, though. My mind kept drifting back to the library, my body heating up and tingling at the memory of it. Eventually, I took my phone out of my pocket and tapped out a message to him.

- Can't stop thinking about earlier.

Nathan replied almost instantly.

- Me neither. Wanna come round to mine for a bit after school?

I didn't even pretend to consider it. I replied that I'd love to and then decided to mess around a bit to see if I could still call his bluff.

- Sure I'd love to. For studying, yeah?

- Of course. I've got some Chemistry that needs sorting out.

- I was thinking more along the lines of biology.

- Well they complement each other. I'm sure we can work on that.

I smiled to myself and put my phone back in my bag. There was something so exciting about Nathan; he had so many layers and elements to his personality that it made him almost addictive. I knew I'd be counting down the hours until we met up after school.

-

At lunch, Jess wanted to know what Nathan needed to talk to me about. I quickly explained the issue of openly being affectionate around each other, and about how Nathan was checking if I wanted to keep things quiet for a while. Then I told her about the kiss.

She chuckled. "Maybe you actually will become one of those couples who hook up there."

I blushed, purely because she was frighteningly close to the truth. Jess noticed and her mouth dropped open.

"Oh my God...you didn't...actually..?"

"What? No! Of course not."

"Did he want to?" Jess then asked me.

"No. Of course not. He's not the type to..." I faded away. Nathan was exactly the type to. At least he had been even if he wasn't anymore. "Is it too soon, do you think? I don't mean in the library, obviously, just in general..."

Jess shrugged. "It's up to you to know when the time is right."

"He's invited me round to his place tonight," I admitted, with a sheepish smile.

Jess laughed. "Well, that doesn't necessarily mean he's gonna try to sleep with you. Izzy, I've seen the way he looks at you. He's absolutely besotted and despite whatever he used to be like, I don't think he wants to rush."

"Yeah, I don't want to rush, either," I said, "but when we're kissing... I just get this urge to take things further..."

"I think you need to stop over-thinking things," Jess said. "You've got yourself an amazing guy. Enjoy yourself."

-

When I went to Nathan's that night, I took Jess' advice and just relaxed. I stopped over-thinking everything and simply lived in the moment, taking everything as it came. Nathan cooked me dinner - Spaghetti Bolognese - and we watched the television whilst eating it.

He was a great chef, and I suspected that cooking was probably something he'd learnt while in Italy. After complimenting him many times on the dish, he told me that he'd give me the recipe if that's what it took to shut me up.

"Does your mum know you're here?" Nathan asked me as we tidied away the plates afterwards.

"Yeah," I said. "I phoned her earlier. She was overjoyed."

Nathan chuckled and gestured for us to go upstairs. "I think your mum fancies me more than you fancy me sometimes."

"Hey," I smirked. "That's not true. She's happily married to my dad."

I pushed open the door to his room and then felt Nathan wrap his arms around me from behind, resting his chin on the top of my head.

"I don't blame her. Who wouldn't fancy me?" He lowered his head and kissed my cheek softly.

"You're so full of yourself," I told him.

"I bet you wish you were," he murmured in a low tone down my ear.

Butterflies exploded in my stomach, and I leaned into the heat of his body, pressing my back against the hard muscles of his chest. Remnants of his spicy cologne, faint now yet still present, cloaked me in a delicious bubble of all things Nathan. One broad palm slipped to my waist and the other skated up my side to brush my hair away from my neck. 

As my heart thudded in my chest, Nathan's warm breath fanned the sensitive skin of my throat. He pressed a soft kiss to the slope where my neck met my shoulder, then his lips floated upwards, along the column of my throat, to press a firmer kiss to the throbbing pulse beneath my jaw. 

Everything felt so precise. So skilful. So sensual. Almost overwhelmed by the sensations, I twisted in his embrace, tipping back my head to look up at him as my fingers found the belt loops of his jeans, the denim coarse beneath my touch.

He gently slid his hand under my hair and gripped the back of my neck, pulling my face towards his. For such a sensitive and playful guy, it was quite an intense, domineering gesture. I didn't feel uncomfortable, though; if anything, the helplessness I felt was arousing.

For a few long, torturous seconds, our breaths tangled together. With his firm grip behind my neck, he controlled the next move, and I happily submitted to his power, waiting for the inevitable kiss, enjoying the thick tension that built in the charged, tiny gap between us. 

"Can I kiss you?" His request brushed across my lips and stirred something deep in my gut. Although he might be in control physically, apparently I still held the power. 

"Yes, please."

His hand released my neck, coasting to cup the side of my face instead and drawing me in to the kiss. Our mouths collided, the pace slow and deliberate, a blend of lips and tongue, firm and gentle. When he pulled back far too soon, his thumb swept over my cheekbone, his eyes flickering over my features and sparkling with playfulness.

"What?" I asked, defensiveness creeping to the surface as I anticipated a joke at my expense. 

"Nothing." His cheeks dimpled with his grin. "I can just feel how much you want me and it's doing wonders for my ego."

Like his ego needed any help.

"Well?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow. "Are you going to give me what I want or not?"

When his grin stretched wider, I grabbed his face and tugged it back to mine, swallowing his smugness into the depths of my mouth. Our lips fused instantly as though they were magnets. Until I felt the duvet brushing the backs of my legs, I hadn't realised we were moving towards the bed. 

I fell backwards onto the mattress, pulling Nathan down with me. His hands darted out to break his fall, and he lowered his weight onto me slowly. The feel of his warm, hard body on top of mine sent my heart racing and blood rushing, tingling sensations erupting everywhere from the depths of my stomach to the tips of my fingers.

Our lips worked feverishly against each other while my palms skated over every surface they could find: his broad shoulders; the muscular expanse of his back, his silky hair. 

Clothes felt like a barrier, though. As I lifted my legs to wrap them around Nathan's back, pushing his hips closer against mine, I felt him tense up. His kissing faltered slightly and he pulled his mouth away from mine, resting his lips against my neck instead. I arched it, silently begging him to kiss me there. Needless to say, I was disappointed when he rolled off me and sat up. I frowned in confusion and sat up, too.

"Sorry," he murmured. He scraped a hand over his jaw and cast his eyes across the room, away from me.

"What's the matter?" I asked. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No!" His eyes darted back to me, widening in horror at my assumption. "Not at all. It was more the fact you were doing everything right..."

"So why did you push me away..?"

"I wasn't so much pushing you away... I was more pulling myself away."

"I don't get it, Nathan. We were only kissing."

He sighed. "I don't wanna get carried away, Bella."

"Carried away?"

"You've no idea what you do to me," he told me, letting out a small laugh. "You send my body crazy."

I reached for his hand, brushing my fingertips over his knuckles. "It's fine. We can slow down."

He flipped his hand over to thread our fingers together. "I'm sorry if I led you on with my crude flirting."

I laughed. "It was just flirting. I get that. You don't need to worry, Nathan. I respect what you're doing. Unfortunately...it just makes me want you even more."

He smiled and pressed his lips softly against mine. We kissed tenderly for a while, the opposite to what we'd previously been doing.

"It'll be worth the wait," he whispered against my mouth. "We'll know when we're ready."

"Yeah," I agreed. "We will."

-

Waiting was definitely the right choice, but I knew it would be hard regardless. Nathan's desire to take things slow just made me care for him even more.

As soon as I got home, I opened up my laptop and loaded the internet. I'd made up my mind. I was so lucky to have Nathan and I wanted the world to know about it. I wasn't ashamed of moving on quickly; I was proud. I didn't care about the gossip; I only cared about Nathan. Sitting back in my chair, I regarded the change in my profile and smiled to myself. Social media may not be the official way of announcing a new relationship, but it was for my generation.

Isobel Smith went from being "single" to "in a relationship".

--

Thank you for reading :)xx