[ilove_joon]

Jimin's POV

I need to get out of here. Fast. The pressure is all built up inside me, threatening to fly out through tears in my eyes. I just made a realization about myself— I'm actually gay! I can't believe it. I knew I had attraction towards men, but...

I can't tell Jackson. I can't tell Hoseok. No one can know. I can't tell Yoongi either. What am I supposed to do? My reputation will be ruined with the Straights if I tell anyone. Everything I worked for to maintain perfect balance will be ruined.

I need someone I can trust. I know I can't keep this secret inside forever. Someone's bound to find out.

Breathe, Jimin. Breathe, I think to myself. Slowly, the consistency of my rising and falling chest lessens as I try to calm down. What am I going to do?

I finally gain the courage to stand up and reach for the doorknob before I stop myself, sitting back against the door and burying my face into my arms. Tears stain my face as I think.

Who am I kidding? Who is gonna listen? I feel so alone. It's weird to say this when I'm literally in a house full of men who are just the same as me. But I just found out that I'm gay. Who can I come out to? Who can I trust?

Who knew the person I could confide in was the one who knocked on the door just moments after I wiped my face?

Yugyeom's POV

"A-And Im Jaebum told me I was cute—" Jinyoung tells us in a drunken haze.

"Mhmmmm, sure. He's one of the Straightest ones and you know that," Hoseok scoffs, as he paints Jisoo's pinky toenail. "Don't move, hun, or you'll get it all smudged," he warns. Jisoo giggles.

"I'm serious! It was after a game, I was still in my cheerleading uniform. I swear on my RuPaul's Drag Race DVD collection!"

I roll my eyes. This guy says the weirdest unbelievable shit when drunk.

"Geez, Jinyoung, that's a lot you're betting on. Guess you gotta hand those over to mama, cause I got bigger game than you! I heard straight boy Namjoon was asking about me not too long ago," a drunk Jin counters.

"Who're you calling 'mama'? I'm your mom. I'm all y'alls mom." We decide to ignore Jinyoung's outbursts at Jin and his snarky comebacks.

"Is Jimin okay?" Yoongi asks no one in particular. He sat, staring at the floor with a slight blush on his cheeks the entire time after Jimin fled from their kiss.

"I'm sure he's fine. Just flustered as usual... Like a gay," Hoseok laughs, waving the polish wand around carelessly.

"Watch out! You'll get paint on my jacket!" I shriek.

"Calm your tiddies, mate," Jisoo laughs.

"Ugh, I'm done with you all. I'm taking a piss," I huff.

"Wait—" Someone grabs my arm. It's Yoongi.

"Check on Jimin while you're at it, please?" he asks, worry spread across his cute features.

"Sure," I smile.

He lets go and I pace myself towards the bathroom. Man, this bathroom brings back so many memories... All the guys who've fucked me and all the guys I've fucked happened here. But the one guy I really wanted never came close to this spot... He... Nevermind.

I try for the door, but it's locked. Jimin must still be in there.

"Heyyyy, gorgeous.. Umm just thought I'd let you know that I gotta take a piss," I mumble into the door guiltily.

"S-Sorry.. Who is this?"

"It's your favorite dance partner," I smile.

"Hoseok? Kai?" he giggles, his muffled sniffling disappearing.

"Aw, come on, don't do me dirty like that," I groan playfully. "Let me in. Spill some tea, sis," I probe, still bouncing around from trying to hold the alcohol in my active bladder.

He sighs. "Okay."

With this, I hear the lock go undone, and I rush inside.

"Just turn around real quick, and I'll be there for you, just a second, I swear!" I gasp, already unzipping my jeans. He follows his instructions as I quickly do my business and wash my hands.

Then I turn to him, and for the first time since entering the bathroom, I see his face. It's puffy around his eyes, which are bloodshot. His bottom lip is noticeably quivering. He was obviously crying. But from what? I thought he enjoyed his smooch session with Yoongi.

"Awww, c'mon, honey. Let it all out. I'm one of your closest friends and I hate seeing you cry," I plead.

He locks the door again and dashed into my open arms, crying into my shirt. Welp... it's dry clean.

"There, there," I say, brushing my fingers through his hair. "Let it all out."

"Yugyeom, I can trust you, right?" he sniffs.

"Of course, honey!" I seriously have no idea what he's about to say, but I'm nervous for him. His face tells me he's uncertain, confused, and if possible, relieved?

"I don't want you telling anyone yet. Please. My life literally depends on it," he says, his glossy eyes staring right into mine.

"O-Of course," I nod.

"I-I think I'm g-gay," he finally spits out.

Mother of Baby Jesus, Adam, and Steve! The school's bisexual token just came out to me. I feel honoured, but at the same time, I stand still, unable to comprehend what just happened. Is he kidding? Does he know how big of a deal this is? Speaking of deals, does he know of Jackson and Hoseok's deal? I've got to tell Hoseok he's won! No wait, Jimin trusted me with a secret. I'm going to have to stay true to my word. Besides, Jimin should be the one to come out to his best friend.

"O-Oh my God, Jimin, th-that's..."

"Ridiculous, I know," he sighs, as he pulls his hood over his face, pulling the drawstrings tight.

I kneel down to open his hood up and remove it. "Nononono.. I was going to say that that's great, Jimin! But are you sure?" I ask. He can't be uncertain as always. I need to know if this is real.

"I mean, I think so?"

"How did you find out? When did you find out?" I gasp, unable to contain my excitement.

"After kissing Yoongi, I came to an epiphany that I've only been attracted to men from the very beginning. It's like Yoongi was the key to unlocking the sexuality of Park Jimin."

"That's so fucking deep, go write a novel!" I squeal.

"But I have quite the dilemma. That's why I've locked myself away in this secluded bathroom," he continues. I see tears brimming his eyes, threatening to roll down his squishy cheeks.

"You shouldn't be sad about this! It's great you now are more aware of yourself! You're really an LG!" I cheer.

"B-But that's the thing.. I don't want to just be titled as an LG just because I'm gay. Why can't I just be Jimin, who doesn't need a clique? Jimin, who is friends with Straights despite his sexuality?"

I really don't know what to tell him because I myself have ever thought of this before; I've never thought outside of the two cliques at school. It's either you're an LG, who likes to hang with LGs, or a Straight, who likes to hang with Straights. But Jimin... he's like a rare 0.00001% that is gay yet wants to be with both groups.

"I really don't know what to say, Jimin.. But you're right. Something obviously needs to change. But I don't think that's how things work in a school like ours. You can't just expect everyone to accept you as you. There's always someone who needs to be satisfied. It's an unfair world, honey. I wish I could change it for you, but I don't think it's possible," I respond sadly, taking his small hands into mine. I feel like I'm a mother talking to his teenage daughter.

"S-So what am I going to do? How am I going to come out? Jackson will be furious! I can't lose my friend!" he complains.

"You know, some good things come with great sacrifice. Take me, for example. You know I'm an ex-Straight.. One of the very few." He nods.

"Well, when I was Straight, I was best friends with BamBam. I know you know him; he still hangs around Jackson. Well, the closer I got to Bam, I realized I was falling in love with him. I was gay. I was terrified of telling anyone, for fear of being hated forever, but I gave it some time, gained courage, told BamBam, and got rejected. He never spoke to me again. But he also didn't expose me to the rest of the Straights.. I left on my own."

Jimin's eyes widen in surprise and I can't help but laugh.

"I know for a fact he's not happy in the position he's in. I'm not saying I think he's gay, but I still love him. I still watch out for him. And when I see Bam, I can see he's not completely comfortable looking at Jackson's stash of nudes everyday."

Jimin nods. "Yeah, I notice that, too. Come to think of it, everyone is acting weird lately. Jungkook and Taehyung, BamBam, Namjoon... Even Jackson! It's odd."

Now it's my turn to be surprised. The king of the Straights.. acting gay?

"Well, I guess what I'm really trying to say is that no one deserves to be lied to. I couldn't lie to BamBam, calling him 'bro' all the time when I loved him, I couldn't lie to the Straights, saying I ate pussy the night before, I couldn't lie to myself. I'm not Straight. And I accept that. I didn't give a fuck if anyone else did. Luckily, Hoseok welcomed me to the LGs with open arms. I don't hate the Straights... But I don't like how low they go to insult us LGs, either. So, Jimin, you're asking for advice? My advice is that you give it some time like I did. Ease yourself into your newfound sexualtiy. Then tell people. If Jackson is truly your best friend, he'll accept it."

Silence.

Jimin's face is twisted in deep thought.

"You're right, Yugie... Thanks. You're a great friend." With this, he gives me a warm hug that I accept graciously and I lead him out of the bathroom, back towards Hoseok's living room.

"I sure am.. By the way, Yoongi was really worried about you," I smirk.

"R-Really?"

"Yup, guess he was worried you thought he was a bad kisser?" I joke. He smacks my arm.

"Shut up, you're like a gay version of Jungkook," he sneers.

"Ew, don't ever compare me to Jeon Jungkook," I tease, spitting the name.

Jimin's POV

I guess telling Yugyeom was a good thing, instead of keeping this to myself. A big load was lifted off of my chest, but not all of it. I still have people I'm deceiving. I'm gonna have to take my time letting everyone know. I want to follow Yugyeom's advice. No one deserves to be lied to.

Especially not Rosé. I think I need to end things with her if I want to be truly happy. How is she going to feel? My thoughts leave the moment I see Yoongi.

"Are you okay, Jimin? Was I that bad a kisser?" he asks, worriedly. I see Yugyeom mouth 'I told you' and snicker before getting shoved by Jinyoung.

"I'm okay. And no, you were not bad. In fact, maybe you should kiss me more often," I wink. Yoongi's face flushes before he smirks and responds with a "Maybe I should."

I'm definitely gay. And I am even more definitely whipped for this man.

-

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