[ilove_joon]

Jackson's POV

Closing the door quietly, there's only one thing on my mind: that's it. I've officially lost the bet. Jimin. Is. Gay. Why else would he be having sex with a man right now? I know he's a virgin. And he's letting his V card be taken away by no woman. There's no way I'd let Hoseok know, though. I'd never hear the end of it.

I thought coming to Namjoon's parties, which usually did make me happy, would make me feel better about the shit that I've been through after finding Jimin and Yoongi in the science lab. But the nostalgia of the past, when I didn't have to worry about him getting with any other man but me, was officially over.

Just moments ago, we had made awkward eye contact, and he and his fine ass strutted over to the LG side, probably knowing that I was watching! He's never been that bold before. Usually, during parties at Namjoon's, he'd immediately bring himself to me. But tonight, his aura was different; he seemed determined— but for what?

Well I sure as hell found out what it was. To get laid. And by none other than Min Yoongi.

I was just trying to be a good friend, finding Jimin, maybe apologize again for walking in on their moment in the library. But no.

My anger from before was replenished and quadrupled in size. What the hell did he have that I didn't? And almost as quickly as it appeared, my anger left and was replaced by sadness. What did I have to do to keep Jimin to myself without having to come out to the whole fucking school?! Fuck this feud. Fuck our cliques. Fuck the Straights. Fuck the LGs.

Fuck myself for getting horny from watching their little session, even if it was for just a second.

And now the sadness is overwhelmed by fear. If Jimin lets anyone know —especially Hoseok— that he's gay, is it the end of our friendship? The Straights'll expect me never to speak to him again. I don't want that. I love the guy, goddammit!

I storm down the stairs to get a drink. Maybe some alcohol will help numb the pain— both in my heart and in my groin. I'm not in the mood to fuck a girl right now to take care of the problem Jimin gave me. God, just imagining him being the sub that I saw in the bedroom for me turns me on. Shit!

Jennie's holding a large plate of tequilas, so I take three shots. Funny, even though I know they broke up, it's like she's nowhere near Taehyung anymore. He's probably too busy all the time with his best friend in the world now, Jungkook.

Walking into the living room, I'm not surprised to see them sitting on the couch, each with an arm around the other, staring into nothingness in a drunken haze. I squeeze myself in between them and BamBam, who is scrolling through his Instagram.

I can already feel the tequila entering my veins, making me feel a little more relaxed. Almost relaxed enough not to notice two LGs stumble into our, the Straights', room.

"Park Jinyoung, what are youuuu doing here?" slurs JB. "And why did you bring him? He disrespected Jackson, remember?"

I remember the humiliation I felt. Mark Tuan, as I've heard, had his arm linked with Jinyoung. Mark is probably the only LG besides Jimin and that Yoongi that I bothered remembering.

Screw it, no one can hear my innermost thoughts. Mark is fucking hot, how could I not remember him? I couldn't count how many times I'd secretly watch him walk through the halls.

I hope my early stages of drunkenness and hormones combined don't make me do something rash.

"We were horny and all the other LGs were already taken," Jinyoung says. "You're all mine, Im!"

Jinyoung lunges forward but JB pushes him out of the way, running out the door.

"No fucking way!" he yells behind himself.

"Why don't you two just do it with each other?" I ask rolling my eyes.

"That's gross, he's basically my mum!" Mark exclaims.

"Alright, well I'm going to exquisitely escort both of you out of here, since you're obviously not gonna leave on your own. Think of this as the closest touch you'll ever get from a man like me," I sigh, getting up and grabbing their arms.

"Hey, let go of me! I can leave a room by myself!" complains Jinyoung.

"What's the matter, eomma? Don't you want to get manhandled by Jackson Wang?" teases Mark.

"Just shut up, both of you. Let's go," I say, pulling them out of the room.

Once I've guided them through the chaotic mess of a house, I push them into another room, where the LGs are, as they said, "taken". Taken as in hooking up with each other. Gross.

It reminds me of another couple doing it upstairs.

"Jisoo, honey! Where'd you get that plate of tequilas? I could use one!" Jinyoung gasps, pulling himself out of my grip and walking to her.

"A friend," she smiles.

I'm too drunk to put my finger on who it was serving drinks to everyone earlier.

"Okay, now stay here like a good gay, okay?" I say to Mark.

I let go of his arm, but not before he grabs me again and spins me around, making me fall on the couch. Not a head turns; everyone is too invested in their own world.

"Maybe I feel like being a naughty gay," he smirks. He sits on my lap. I try pushing him off, but he has an ass of steel. An ass of steel that is pressing against my raging boner from earlier.

"Seriously, get off. I'm not in the mood right now, twink," I mumble, not wanting to do anything I'll regret.

He grinds on me in response. "You sure about that? Your hard-on says otherwise."

"I'm sure, okay? I thought you hated me. Why are you doing this? All the alcohol you've had is what's talking right now," I say, breathing deeply.

"I never said I hated you. But you are a douche," he says, wrapping his arms around my neck.

"And let's not lie, we both look fucking hot tonight. So let's do this once and never speak again. Who cares if you're a Straight? Everyone's too drunk to notice," Mark teases. He rocks his hips at a faster speed, earning a groan from me that I've never heard before.

"Exactly. Everyone is drunk. Including you. So get off of me before you do something that you'll hate yourself for once you're sober," I grunt as a last resort. I'm seriously about to give in to him. I'm just that fucking horny.

"Boo, you're no fun. But I'm not one to do something without consent. You'll regret denying me, babe!" winks Mark as he stands up.

"That's right, you better run!" I shout, my relief flooding in like a cold glass of water on a sunny day.

"Whatever. I'll get you whipped for me one day. Mark my words. And I suggest you do something about your dick," he smiles, before leaving the room.

That little—! But he's right. I need to take care of this bad bitch.

Speaking of bad bitches...

"Lisa! I know you're not with Jungkook anymore. Let's have sex," I say, as soon as I spot her after leaving the LG room.

"I can't," she giggles drunkenly, "I'm having a blast with Rosé!"

As if on cue, Rosé shows up beside her, putting her arm around her.

"Hey, Jacks, where's Jimin?" she asks.

The mention of his name sends me overboard. I merely stomp away angrily. I need to find Namjoon.

I bang through several rooms, walking in on several students either playing beer pong or fucking. I refuse to search upstairs.

The last place I look is the kitchen, where Namjoon is laughing and talking to an LG cheerleader— a dude.

"And then I accidentally set the room on fire," Namjoon laughs.

"Silly! You're so clumsy!" the guy giggles, smacking his chest playfully.

"But you won't believe the time I—"

"Let's go. You're coming with me," I deadpan, grabbing Namjoon and interrupting another story he was probably going to tell.

"But no, I was talking to Seokji—" he protests.

"No. Let's go," I growl. I'm tired of being here.

Once I've pulled him to an empty room, I rub the base of my nose in annoyance.

"C'mon, Jackson! It's my party and my house. Stop being such a dick!" he yells.

"Shut up! I'm not feeling well, okay? All the Straights are acting weirder than usual. Even I don't feel like myself! Please. Besides Jimin, you're my best friend. Tell me everything will go back to normal," I plead. I can feel my eyes watering in frustration. I feel like Joon is the only one I can openly cry to.

"Okay, sorry. I didn't know you were stressing out. Of course everything's gonna be okay," he says quietly, rubbing my back. "Maybe you should go home. I don't think partying is the best thing for you right now."

"You're right," I say, wiping my tears. "Tell BamBam to drive me home. I'm drunk, I know I can't drive," I sigh.

"Sure thing, bro," he smiles.

"Hey, Joon?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," I say, giving him a hug. He returns it before jumping backwards.

"Yo! Take care of your boner, what the fuck? Did I turn you on? That's not right for someone like you, bro," he jokes.

"You didn't do this to me. Another reason why I gotta go home, dingus!" I snarl, flustered.

"Okay, we'll go to the living room, Bam's probably still there."

"Yeah..."

***

"Thanks for dropping me off," I sigh dejectedly.

"Sure thing, dude," BamBam winks before driving away from my home.

Once I'm in my room I flop onto my bed. The drinks weren't enough to make me forget. I'm still in pain. I left that party with a headache, a heartache, and a dickache. I don't want to think about anything anymore. I don't want to think about Jimin anymore. I think things will be different forever. And I can't forgive myself for just letting Jimin go.

All I want to do is sleep.

-

a/n: hello it's ilove_joon straight from the grave haha! according to yoongi-mood, this ff is getting lots of good feedback so ofc i'm really glad as an author!! i miss my friends and wish all readers the best as you continue living through jimin's story!! <3 :))