they strike to kill, and you know i will

♔

Celeste stared at the open air in front of her where Sirius had just stood. She felt hurt and betrayed. But worst of all, she felt angry.

How could he say those things to her? How could he ignore her for a month and finally deign to acknowledge her again? And now that he had, why speak to her so condescendingly?

She felt humiliated. For the first time in her life, she felt humiliated.

He didn't understand. He didn't understand how she felt, after everything they'd been through. Yes, she liked protection ― but not in the form of an iron cage. She liked that he wanted her to rest ― but not until she was desperate to do something. Anything.

There's nothing you need to prove, he said. But in truth, she had everything to prove. She wanted to prove to Moody and Kingsley that she wasn't all useless and stupid. She wanted to prove to herself that she wasn't on the wrong side of the war. That her goodness was not lost. She needed to prove to Sirius that she was still worth something.

The last of the members disapparated away behind her. Or so she thought.

"Well, he's an ass," Olivia grimaced, breaking the silence.

Celeste turned, unsurprised at Olivia's presence. "Yeah, I think so too."

Olivia moved closer to her, crossing her arms tightly across her chest. "You're really not going? Just because he said so?"

"He was right about one thing," Celeste said, shaking her head. "If they catch me, I'm going to lose my head. Unfortunately, I rather like my head."

"Your crown days would be over?"

Celeste shrugged. "I've actually grown quite fond of them. I'll never object to jewels now. They used to horrify me, but now I get it."

Olivia sighed and walked over to the dining table, rummaging through Moody's bag. Celeste gaped with wide eyes. "What are you doing?"

The blonde smirked and pulled out a tiny flask. "Behold. Polyjuice!"

Celeste snorted, moving closer to see. "You're joking."

Olivia plucked a single strand of hair from her hand, dangling it in the air. "I hope polyjuice me tastes good. Like strawberries and rainbows." She uncorked the flask and carefully stuffed the hair through the opening. After giving it a good shake, she extended it towards Celeste.

Celeste couldn't believe her eyes. "Are you serious?" she managed. "This wouldn't just be dangerous for me. It would be for you as well."

Smiling mischievously, Olivia rolled her eyes. She said nothing as she pressed the bottle into Celeste's palm. Hesitantly, Celeste twisted open the bottle and took a small sip. Then, she downed the rest of the tiny bottle with a small cringe.

"Oh Godric," Olivia groaned. "Do I taste bad?"

Celeste laughed, feeling her skin begin to stretch. Her head tingled with a satisfying coolness. "I think you taste like hair products and syrup."

Olivia's face lit up at that. "Oh, that's actually quite better than what I heard from― woah. Hey, I'm kind of hot, now that I'm looking at me."

Grinning, Celeste looked into the reflection of the nearest window. Her hair was now in Olivia's perfectly glossy waves and her face... was no longer the same. Maybe this could really work.

Olivia pulled out her wand. "I'm in Moody's group. Ready?"

Celeste nodded and steeled herself. This battle would not break her, would not take from her.

The polyjuice would run out soon, so she needed to move fast.

The clock was already counting down.

-

Celeste's feet hit the ground running, and she and Olivia made a mad dash for the castle. She never thought she might be here again, fighting in a war no less.

Screams and shouts ripped through the air, but it was impossible to tell from which direction. Guilt tore at her heart. A cruel voice in her head knew that this was her fault. Lives might be lost, and it would be all her fault.

 They charged towards the castle, feet nearly flying. The wind whipped at her hair and she didn't bother to brush it off her face. They passed the Great Hall and made for the stairs, dodging curses along the way. Celeste pressed herself against a wall as scarlet bolts of light flew past her face.

"There!" Olivia shouted, pointing at a different corridor. It was a quicker route that would lead them directly towards the seventh floor. They could make their way down from there.

Celeste nodded and they broke into another run, skipping the stairs two at a time. She cursed as her dress ripped slightly at the sides. Her tall heeled boots didn't help either. Her sides ached with pain, her lungs desperate for more oxygen.

They met the seventh floor at the same time, where it was significantly more quiet. A bright flash illuminated the corridor they darted past, and Sirius' familiar voice shouted, "Nice one, James!"

Celeste slowed, daring to glance behind her. As if he might be standing there, furious with her again. 

Olivia glanced at Celeste's conflicted face. "Do you want to stay here with him?"

There was no time to wonder, to hesitate. Celeste shook her head. "No, I'll stay with you."

They broke into a fast-paced walk, passing by empty classrooms and Dumbledore's office. The bronze hippogriff stood guard as usual, glaring down with its menacing eyes. A chill went up her spine, and Celeste found herself walking faster.

"Stupefy!"

The two girls broke apart and pressed their bodies on opposite walls. Olivia aimed her wand down the wall and fired a bombardment spell at the guilty Death Eater. She missed by an inch, but the rebound of the explosion knocked the masked wizard to his feet. His mask rolled off, revealing a dark-haired man with a bloodied nose.

"Goyle," Celeste muttered. It was strange how they all used to go to school within these very walls together. The war had ruined them.

Goyle groaned in pain, trying to push himself back onto his feet.

Olivia wrinkled her nose. "Expulso."

He slammed into the wall behind him and was knocked out cold. His eyes fell shut, and they did not open again. Sighing, the two girls hurried away before they were caught again. 

They made it to the sixth floor before another Death Eater found them at the top of the stairs. Celeste could feel his confusion as he looked between the two identical girls. He paused before hurling a curse at Celeste.

Celeste moved out of the way in time, firing back a stunning spell. "Go!" she shouted at Olivia. "I'll meet you downstairs." Olivia would be safer within Moody's group, and she had an open opportunity to escape down the stairs. Olivia had sacrificed enough tonight.

But Olivia looked horrified at the idea. "Absolutely not," she snapped.

The Death Eaters hauled himself back up to his feet and staggered forward. "Confrigio!"

"Protegro!" Celeste shouted, slashing her wand through the air. The curse deflected against the shield, though the force of it made her stumble backward. "Olivia, go! I can handle this."

Olivia's lower lip trembled. She raised her gaze to Celeste's, nodding. "Find me right after."

"Expulso!"

Celeste jumped out of the curse's range, breathing ragged and harsh. From behind her, Olivia was running down the stairs already. "Deduc―"

"Crucio!" the Death Eater screamed.

A thousand little knives slashed at her skin, seizing control of her muscles. Celeste knew she was screaming, but she could not hear it. Her rational thoughts become shattered shards of glass, and every second crushed them further into dust. Time seemed to warp and twist into hours. Her bones were lit on fire, burning and seething through her body. The curse had knocked her to her knees  ― it was too strong, too much to bear.

And then she was gasping for air, eyes finally seeing again. The Death Eater was shouting curses at another person. Celeste lifted her eyes and her vision settled on Sirius Black, throwing jinx after jinx in return. She sobbed with relief, body sagging.

Her body was covered with sweat, her arms and legs littered with scrapes from clawing and dragging against the rough floor. Her chest echoed with pain, the terror still shredding at her mind. She couldn't remember to move. She didn't realize to still her shaking body until Sirius was putting a steady hand on her shoulder.

"Are you alright?" he said gently. His voice was wary and a little bit polite.

Celeste realized that she still wore Olivia's face. "Not really," she managed to croak.

"Can you stand?" he asked.

Nodding weakly, Celeste let him steady her to her feet. His arms were warm and firm around her, though the familiar possessiveness and protectiveness were missing. He was more guarded, believing that she was Olivia. Celeste was supposed to be mad at him, but he was making it extremely difficult.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I don't know what would've happened to me if―"

"It's alright now," Sirius assured her. "He's done."

Celeste turned away from him, looking at the unconscious Death Eater on the ground. She swallowed and stepped towards him. And then another. She approached his still body and reached for his mask. She needed to know.

Before she could regret it, Celeste tore the mask from his face. 

It was the face she had been dreading and avoiding for months. A face she hadn't seen since that night. Seeing him was worse than any unforgivable curse. 

Evan's face was marred and bruised, with a thick line of dark maroon dripping down the side. His upper lip was swollen and his eyes were shut. And he breathed, his chest rising slowly against his emerald robes.

Celeste recoiled, stepping back. Fury and panic rose in her all at once. She should've known, should've recognized his voice―

Sirius walked to her side and stilled. He glanced at her distraught face and said, "That's Celeste's... husband. Sort of."

Celeste swallowed. "I know," she answered hoarsely. "She's ― she's told me about him. And all the things he's done."

His face darkened. "He's a sick man."

They were tiptoeing on a fragile line now. Celeste had to be careful, or else she'd expose her identity. Or worse, Sirius would figure out the rest of what Evan had done. She didn't want Sirius to know ― didn't want to feel his pity or rage. She only ever wanted peace for him.

But that cold, cruel voice in her head reminded her that she could never give him peace. Not as long as she existed. Even in death, Celeste would be able to haunt his head. 

Holding her breath, she said, "Do we just... leave him here?"

Sirius did not tear his gaze away from Evan. "I can take care of him. Bloody him up some more and leave him in a corner to rot."

She nodded. "I'll join Moody. Thank you, again."

This time, he looked at her and faintly smiled. "Be careful."

Celeste released her breath and turned away. She walked down the stairs as quickly as her body would allow her, taking her seventh step when her vision tunneled. Her head throbbed with a new pain, like rushing blood and roaring wind.

The world dimmed before her eyes and went black.

-

Celeste was dreaming of a silver cat that was also Marlene McKinnon.

They walked through a realm of endless mirrors, their raw reflection greeting and following them with every step. There were no other creatures ― not even the faintest rustle of leaves in the breeze.

Celeste stared at the mirrors, almost seeing herself again. Her eyes had returned, sharp and piercing unlike Olivia's sweet doe looks. The shape of her face was her own again, the curve of her nose still molding back into its regular shape. Her lips, however, were the rouge heart-shaped likeness of Olivia's. The blonde hair hadn't faded yet either. 

"Are you alright?" the cat whispered.

Celeste stopped walking and stared at the cat, half horrified and half mesmerized. Her body felt sluggish and slow like the world had transformed into a living, breathing trance. "What's going on?"

"I remember the Cruciatus Curse," cat Marlene murmured, ignoring the question. "Nasty little spell that was."

Celeste's heart ached. She never knew the full extent of how Marlene had been killed. "Why are you a silver cat?" she decided to ask instead.

"It's my patronus," the cat said simply. "It's boring but matches me. Yours is much cooler."

Celeste flinched at that. "I don't have a patronus."

The cat stared at Celeste, Marlene's blue-green eyes shining with amusement. "But you could. If only you would just wake up."

The words sounded strange. They were words that Marlene would never say. She had never gone two sentences without attempting to crack a joke or tease the nearest person.

"Wake up?" Celeste echoed. Her head clouded with confusion. 

The feline smiled ― if that was even possible. "You could do anything. All you have to do is wake up."

Celeste slammed into a mirror ― slammed into herself, really, and the floor disappeared beneath her feet. She screamed, dropping into a freefall and down a pitch-black rabbit hole.

Wake up!

Marlene's soft whisper echoed down the tunnel.

And then there was shouting and screaming. The unending void became a pit of tears and terror. Sirius' voice rang out loudly, accusing and resentful. 

I don't care, Celeste! You should've been here.

Sirius, are you not listening to me?

You would've known if you'd been here. You can't make a fucking decision. 

Celeste tried to cover her ears, clamping her hands over them ― as hard as her strength would allow. She didn't want to hear this and didn't want to realize it. She pushed the memories further down the back of her mind.

You're a traitor! You never truly cross over. You're so desperate to uphold your dumb reputation...

Celeste choked back a strangled sob. What the hell was happening? Was she going insane at last?

Isn't this exhausting? Aren't you tired of all this?

Yes, she had meant to say. Celeste was tired of it all. So, so tired. 

Not tired of Sirius, but tired of the world. The world had taken more than she possessed. All that remained were scraps of her punctured heart. She felt like a constellation of wounds, strung together with the cobwebs of horror and humiliation. Sometimes, not even Sirius, the brightest star in the sky could shine past that.

And she knew she could not stop. Celeste would always find a way to claw her way up and wield her name like a silent shield and sword. All her life she had known one thing. And for the rest of her mortal existence, she would not forget it.

She was a Malfoy. Though Sirius liked to forget he was a Black, Celeste could never. The world would not let her go so easily. 

She was designed for spinning power between her fingers; crafted to summon stars and dream of terrible things. Her magnetic field for attracting destruction was thunderous. She was a dark chasm that could never be full. She took and wanted and could never be satisfied or sated. That was why she still played both sides. That was why she could not let go. 

No matter how she had thrashed and screamed, her fate was ironclad. She had never truly resisted or defied it. She had willingly walked down the aisle towards it.  

No matter how faint she kept her voice, Sirius had always been right about one thing. She was indeed, the least fair person to exist ― constantly Machiavellian and desperate to please. The universe did not care for a singular, lonely little girl. She had no right to happiness ― not when she could never pick a battle to win or lose. 

But you enjoy this, don't you?

Celeste opened her eyes and woke up. She woke up and realized she was sitting at the end of Malfoy Manor's long dining table. She woke up and understood what Sirius had meant during that horrible fight. 

The Malfoy heiress smiled at Voldemort, who sat at the opposite end of the table, bearing a wicked smirk. She met his red, shining eyes and knew. 

Of course, she enjoyed this. Of course, she delighted in schemes of ruined dynasties and cruel victories. So long as she remained at the summit, she would revel in this.

-

"Mrs. Rosier," Voldemort smiled, flashing his rotted teeth.

"Malfoy," Celeste corrected. "I have never taken the name Rosier, my lord."

Approval shone in his eyes. He nodded briefly. "Mrs. Malfoy. I hope my method of summoning you did not cause any discomfort."

She smiled blankly. "None at all, my lord."

Voldemort chuckled before his face hardened. "You will be relieved to hear that I am calling my favor in."

"Now?" Celeste said, almost unable to conceal her surprise.

"Now," he repeated. There was a sinister, cruel excitement in his voice. He looked towards the tall glass windows, where the Malfoy gardens sprawled out for miles and miles. "The attack on Hogwarts is happening now. Dumbledore's band of children is failing miserably. I would like you to go in now while it is safe, and retrieve an object for me."

She nodded slowly. "What object would this be?"

The light in the room somehow darkened even further as Voldemort whispered, "A prophecy." He stood, the legs of his chair creaking loudly against the marble floor. "It regards the key to my destruction. But I suspect you will know it when you find it. Albus Dumbledore will have placed it foolishly within his office. You will have no trouble taking it."

It seemed too easy. A trick, almost. 

"Is that all?" Celeste said carefully.

"You will find it and bring it back to me," he ordered. "And then, you are tasked with finding the spy amongst our members."

The wind knocked out of her lungs. 

Celeste opened her mouth to reply just as Voldemort vanished, along with the entire room. The walls melted into shadows, and she was sucked back into her body.

Celeste Malfoy woke up in the middle of the staircase, her hands tightly gripping the banister. There was a new hunger dwelling within her, one mixed with confusion and dread. 

He doesn't know, she told herself. He still trusts me.

She released a shaking breath, turning back around. With her fists clenched and heart hammering, Celeste charged back up the stairs toward Dumbledore's office. 

AUTHOR'S NOTE

no idea what just happened lol. this chapter was kinda boring, but i can't wait to show you guys the next one !!

also the "destruction" connection between sirius and celeste is so important I could rant about it all day.