you search in every maiden's bed for something greater

➵

Tangled in a mess of twisted bedsheets, Olivia called out in a sleepy voice, "Sirius, where are you going?"

"I need to get a drink," Sirius merely answered, not bothering to glance at the girl. He had been restless all night ― plagued by the picture of Celeste Malfoy. Everytime he shut his eyes, he would see her again. Sometimes she was sitting beside him under the moonlight after curfew at the Astronomy Tower. Sometimes she was in a hidden lake with him, drenched, laughing, and kissing him senseless. Sometimes she was a glowing star, spinning in the arms of Evan Rosier. And sometimes, she was standing before him, at a loss for tears, before finally uttering the two words that had cursed him to this state. 

Entering the kitchen, Sirius rummaged through his cupboards until he found a bottle of random liquor. Brandy, wine, or champagne, he couldn't exactly tell what it was after the bottle was finished.

It was several hours later that the front door flew open.

"Sirius, what the hell?" James Potter shouted, over the blaring music. "You were supposed to come over hours ago!"

Laughing madly, Sirius exclaimed, "Prongs! I know! Isn't this great?"

James stopped the record player.

"Hey! I was listening to that!" Sirius frowned. 

"Why?"

Sirius shrugged, nearly tripping over a half empty bottle of wine that he had forgotten on the floor. The bottle tipped and burgundy spilled over the wooden floor. "It makes me not hear my thoughts."

James sighed. "Padfoot, why did you decide to get drunk at two in the afternoon?"

Sirius froze. "It's two already? I was supposed to come over at ten!"

"I know," James deadpanned. "That's why I'm here. I wanted to check on you. Y'know, to make sure you weren't murdered or something."

His face breaking out into a wild grin, Sirius threw an arm over James' shoulders. "I would never get murdered! That's not very classy. I'm a very classy and dignified person. Those kind of people just don't really get murdered! Like Celeste! She's the―"

James eyes widened. "What about Celeste?" he said gently.

Sirius' eyes glazed over. "She's the most classy and dignified person in the whole damn country. Probably even out of all the people who have ever lived and died. I hate about her. I wish she would stop it. I wish she would stop being proud and just look at my face." He frowned. "I wish she would scream and throw things at me. I wish I could hear her voice actually speaking to me."

James glanced warily down the hallway. "Is Olivia here?"

Sirius returned to his former delirious demeanor. "Who?"

"Olivia," James deadpanned. "Your new girlfriend?"

"Oh. I dunno," Sirius shrugged. "She walked by earlier. I think we danced or something. She was laughing at something.. and then she went somewhere. I tried to remember. But I don't really care. I think she's cheating on me. But I don't really care, y'know?"

James frowned in concern. "Do you know if she's coming back?"

Sirius shrugged again. "Doesn't matter. Her laugh is really annoying. And she does it all the time! Mate, nobody needs to hear a high pitch noise every three seconds. Do you know what I mean? It doesn't even sound real. But at least she's decent at snogging. She likes to do that. One time, we were at―"

"Okay! Okay!" James shouted, covering his ears. "I think that's all I need to hear about that matter. How much did you drink?"

Sirius grinned boyishly. "A lot. I think I finished a bottle somewhere. And a bit more."

James sighed. "Go take a shower. A freezing cold one."

"What? Why? I don't want to!" Sirius huffed, folding his arms. 

"C'mon Pads," James huffed, preparing to drag Sirius across the wine soaked floor. "We need you to wake up."

➵

The ballroom was twenty times the size of the one Celeste had for her last birthday. 

It was newly built, just for the special occasion. In fact, the entire mansion was newly built. Just for Celeste and Evan. It was where they would live for the rest of their married lives. And as much as she despised it, Celeste couldn't deny that it was the grandest and most captivating house she had ever laid her eyes on. It could've been considered a palace ― straight from a storybook.

There were three wings ― one for Celeste, one for Evan, and one for guests. There were sixteen courtyards, each more magnificent then the next. Some had fish ponds, ancient marble statues, rose covered gazebos, and carefully trimmed shrubs. There were two libraries, seven indoor and outdoor gardens, three kitchens, a long dining hall, and wine cellars deep enough to be considered dungeons. What two young people, at the edge of their teenage years, needed with so much room, Celeste didn't know. 

The house was gilded from top to bottom, always somehow gleaming, though Celeste never saw the house elves. Colossal crystal and candle chandeliers suspended from every room that was large enough to fit one. And on every balcony, window, and staircase, hung vines of ivy, flowers, and fruit that seemingly imitated the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. 

Each time Celeste strolled through the polished stone halls, she was awed. Now that she had made her way to the ballroom, she couldn't help but be reminded of it.

But much to her surprise, her mother was in the ballroom, at the top of the sweeping staircase, watching a large number of house elves hurry back and forth across the floor to set up the decor. Celeste spied a house elf struggling to carry a towering pile of ivory silk.

"Mother," Celeste said in a way of greeting. "Why are we setting up so soon? The wedding is still in a few days."

Mrs. Malfoy smiled. "I'm just excited, my dear. I just needed to see how it would look like before it gets taken apart by the end of the week! And it's good to be early. You're going to be a vision in your gown."

Celeste shifted uncomfortably and looked away. "Am I truly unpermitted to invite my friends?"

"Celeste," her mother sighed, already exasperated with the topic. "This is a momentous occasion! We cannot waste any spare seats for your friends when surely, very powerful and influential people could fill those spaces. The Avery's, Burke's, Carrow's, and Lestrange's are all coming! I could keep the list going."

Celeste didn't know how to respond, so she stayed silent. 

"Have you finished writing your vows?" her mother inquired. 

Celeste bristled. "Yes," she said stiffly. 

Mrs. Malfoy studied her daughter. "I hope you know that you've made this family very proud."

She blinked, stunned. "Have I?"

Her mother smiled faintly. "The Black fiasco was horrible, of course, but you managed to recover very quickly. To a far better family, in my opinion. Sirius was... a strange boy. I never truly understood him. But Evan will be a perfect match for you. You should see the gifts he brings us all the time! He's honorable and gracious. Much like yourself. I have the most confidence in this marriage."

Celeste felt her throat tighten at the sound of Sirius' name. "Oh," she managed to say.

"Why did you decide to visit today? You've never been very eager to oversee the wedding arrangements."

Celeste hesitated. "I just... didn't want to spend an afternoon at home. I've been in dress fittings all morning for the ball next week."

"Of course," her mother smiled, pleased at the news. "Have you selected a gown?"

"Yes," Celeste answered, suddenly weary of the conversation. "It's black silk with some gold detailing."

Mrs. Malfoy sighed. "Again? Celeste, you really need to grow out of your plain color palette. Try... burgundy or, I don't know, pastels."

Celeste didn't bother to reply that she hated pastels. Or that she wore plenty of burgundy and reds already. She smiled flatly. "Very well, mother. Anywho, I think I should be going now. I need to look for accessories to pair my gown with." Not bothering to wait for a reply, she strode briskly out the door. 

➵

Diagon Alley had always been a sight to see. Celeste had been there on some rare occasions, and it had always taken her breath away. 

But that was in the past.

Half of the street was closed down. Doors were locked, curtains were drawn tightly shut, and a vague sense of terror drifted through the air. Gone were the laughing children, enjoying their summer holiday. Gone was the sweet, salty air of treats that street vendors sold for unnaturally high prices. It seemed the world was now very aware of the war.

Luckily, Celeste's favorite jewelry store was still open. The owner was delighted to see her face and her money. Hastily selecting a golden diadem and a matching necklace, she was out the door, and in search of a cold drink to tone down the summer heat.

The Leaky Cauldron was the closest, and Celeste found the pub overly crowded as she struggled to slip through loud groups of laughing friends. Finding an empty spot at the bar, Celeste sighed and settled into the old bar stool. 

She raised a hand, signaling to the barman. "An iced butterbeer please. With as much firewhiskey you can manage."

A familiar figure sitting beside her turned. "You drink now?"

Celeste's eyes widened at the sight. "Remus?"

Remus smiled warmly, but the gesture was dimmed by the pained look in his eye. "Hello Celeste. It's been a while."

Celeste's tall glass slid in front of her. She returned the smile and lowered her voice. "I don't see you at Order meetings very often anymore."

He nodded. "I'm on a special case. Much like yourself."

Her blood chilled. "You're... a spy? For what?" 

Remus glanced around the pub before leaning closer to her. "Werewolves."

Celeste covered her gasp with a cough. Now that she studied him, she noticed a large addition of scars on him, littering his hands and face. More so than when he was in school.

"How― how?" She tried to remain casual, but her voice failed her.

Remus smiled, taking a small sip from his murky coloured drink. "Please don't panic, Celeste. I'll be fine. I know what I'm doing."

"I know," Celeste sighed. "But I'll still worry. I'll write to you more. Do the others know?"

Remus shook his head. "It's classified. Dumbledore told me not to say. James, Peter, and Sirius would be livid and try to talk me out of it."

Celeste winced at the name, and tried to play it off by talking a large mouthful of butterbeer. 

But Remus noticed. He always did.

"So..." Remus tried to say lightly. "How are you doing?"

Celeste laughed, though it was horribly forced. "Well, I've got my first real mission next week. And I'm getting married in three days. Lots of high tensions, I'd say."

Remus frowned, deciding to get straight to the point. "And Sirius?"

She froze, fingertips hovering just above the handle of her drink glass. "What about... him?"

"How are you feeling about him?"

Celeste smiled lightly. "Remus, are we having girl talk right now?"

"Sure, if you'd like it to be." Remus chuckled.

Celeste let her smile fade away, considering the question. She had never truly let herself think much about Sirius. She had distracted herself, and made herself busy, rather than confronting her fear. But Celeste knew that speaking to Remus about would let her problems air out. Just a bit. She took a long drink, letting the whiskey numb her a little.

"He's better off without me," Celeste said, a little bit too flatly.

"Celeste―" Remus started.

"No, I really think so," she pressed, feeling tears finally prick her eyes. She blinked them away. "I mean― have you seen his new girlfriend? I don't remember her name. I don't really care about her but she's... everything that I think Sirius needs. She's so happy and stress free. I remember I would make Sirius so anxious sometimes. I got engaged, I starting spying, I joined the Order, I'm leading a mission, and I'm just a mess."

"You're not a mess, Celeste," Remus said quietly. "You just have deeper character. I've― I've seen Olivia, and she's... plain, in a way. Boring, even. Sirius will see that soon. He's never been one for boring."

"Sometimes," Celeste said, suddenly dejected. "Sometimes I understand why he... went to Olivia. I hate that he did, but I won't stop him."

Remus was silent for a while. Finally, he asked, "Do you miss him at all?"

"Yes," she answered, without a trace of hesitation. "With my entire soul and being." 

"What's holding you back? I know that's not all."

She downed the rest of her drink swiftly. Celeste's eyes were suddenly unclear, and slightly dimmed. "Because I don't think we'll work anymore. And I don't think we ever worked."

Remus furrowed his eyebrows. "How? You two were so close."

She sighed and closed her eyes, tilting her head back. "He promised too much to me. Promises that were only exclusive during our relationship. Look at us now. What a mess."

"He misses you," Remus said, worriedly studying the tipsy girl.

Celeste Malfoy opened her eyes and smiled, savoring the strange words. "He despises me. And if it'll help us forget each other faster, so will I."

AUTHOR'S NOTE

guys...

WTF WE HIT 20K!!!!???

thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.

as a present i decided to write this extra long chapter :) i'm sorry for hurting our girl celeste. i swear it gets worse 

also speak now tv just got announced!! i swear i had a heart attack. and then i had a good cry. what are your thoughts? i'd love to hear them! 

again, thank you so much. i love you guys.

- aria xo