Sherlock stood on the roof of Bart's hospital with a gun in his hands. The cold wind whipped around the piece making it feel icy and frozen in his palm, but he ignored the numbness - Moriarty was in front of him now, and he wasn't going to let him slip through his fingers another time. He knew that Moriarty was plotting to kill him and, most likely, everyone he cared about - but that wasn't going to happen. Sherlock had a plan like he always did. They looked into each-other's eyes cooly and without emotion, the tension was building, when suddenly Moriarty screamed.

"LOOK!!" He shouted, pointing up towards the sky behind Sherlock.

Sherlock was taken by such surprise that he looked up and Moriarty quickly disarmed him.

"Ok let's be real here Sherly, I'm gonna die here, you're gonna "fake die" here, so why don't we just call it a day?" He swung the gun around his pinkie finger.

"Wha-"

"Then you're gonna run away to "dismantle my operation" and when you finally come back, John is gonna be super pissed at you cus you didn't tell him that you were alive. Oh and did I mention that he's gonna get married to some "assassin-lady"? Cus that happens if you leave too sooo..."

"What are you doing?" Sherlock hissed under his breath. "I'm supposed to jump off the roof soon!"

"OH OH!" Moriarty jumped up and down. "The assassin lady - who is going to be John's WIFE - she shoots you, and you almost die."

"What the fuck?" Sherlock whispered.

"I know right?"

There was a silence.

"What do I do now then?" Sherlock asked, scratching his head, ruffling his lovely curls.

"For someone with such a big brain, you sure can be stupid." Moriarty was unwrapping a package of bubblegum.

"How dare you insult my intelligence! The size of the human brain does not correlate to IQ level!!"

Moriarty gave him that "you-are-a-stupid-gay-boy-who-can't-act-upon-his-own-feelings-even-when-it's-clear-that-you-are-in-love" look. "OBVIOUSLY, you go find John and tell him you love him or he's gonna go marry a secret assassin woman and get her pregnant."

"PREGNANT?!"

"You heard me," said Moriarty, chewing the bubblegum loud and obnoxiously.

"O-okay... Where is John?"

"Oh, that... He's at the centre of the earth, so we have to go on a journey to find him." Moriarty said, twisting his finger around a thread of gum.

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah, we'd better get going."

"But the earth's core is composed of molten metals like iron and nickel! Temperatures there are thought to reach upwards of 5,982 degrees Celsius! That's nearly as hot as the sun!! Nothing can survive there! Nothing could-"

Moriarty was holding up one of his small pale hands, in motion for Sherlock to stop talking.

"What?"

"Sherlock, you have no knowledge of the solar system or planets."

"Oh," Sherlock said.

"We better get going," Moriarty replied.

"Yeah," Sherlock agreed.

Suddenly there was a "whoosh-whoosh-whoosh" noise and a big blue police box appeared on the roof of Bart's hospital.

"THE TARDIS!!" Sherlock screamed, running to it. He pressed his body against it and rubbed the outer walls lovingly.

"Oh that's what it's called," Moriarty said sounding a little bit bored. He strolled over to where it was standing and looked at the box with mild distaste. "It's kind of tacky putting it in a Sherlock story don't you think?"

"But it's THE Tardis!!" the detective squealed excitedly, dancing up and down on the tips of his toes and looking like an overly-happy anime character.

"Yeah whatever, I'm just looking after it for a friend."

Sherlock stepped away from the Tardis with a look of awe and respect. "You're friends with the DOCTOR?! Which reincarnation?!"

Moriarty rolled his eyes and put his hands in his pockets. "The Tenth Doctor obviously, he's the best one."

Sherlock's eyes were wide, silently pleading to hear more.

"We have casual sex ok?" Moriarty said with a glare.

Sherlock screamed high-pitched and put his hands on his perfectly-sculpted cheekbones, apparently too stunned to say anything else.

"Enough about my personal life. Get your ass in the Tardis. We have a John to find."

Hand in hand, the two previous enemies stepped into the bigger-on-the-inside-box and with a few "whooshes" the box disappeared, and they were gone.